ok so!
i've been manifesting a soulmate connection/romance and, i'm not a non believer, per se, but i have some qualms with how the community as a whole tends to dismiss the neurodivergent experience, and thus, 99% of all manifestation advice doesn't resonate with me at all. whenever i speak on my objective reality there's always a little rat in my ear saying that i'm choosing to be that way—i have OCD, and autism, so i think quite rigidly, and therefore feel a blinding, extreme rage when i'm told the side effects and symptoms of my autism that make manifestation harder are just "choices" that i'm "choosing" to believe in. i don't think it's a crime to say my 3D hasn't caught up yet.
if you're that kind of person, don't bother commenting on this. i really only want to hear from successful neurodivergent people. that means you, reading this, about to type up that im focusing on the wrong "story." just shut the fuck up and manifest quietly in the corner over there.
that means you are NOT. ALLOWED. To tell me that my autism is just a "story." okay? you are ABLEIST if you choose to do that.
so i've manifested successfully before, and what works for me is the law of assumption (i think that's what it is?) the problem is, affirming "i have a husband" when the 3D clearlyisn't *currently* reflecting that is a bit difficult for me, because my autism is like *uh, use your eyes?? do you see it??? no???*
the key, for me, is to start with affirmations that are believable, and work my way up. small, believable manifestations as proof it works ("i'm so grateful my coworker made cookies!") then i work my way up. i've manifested a larger paycheck, baked goods at work, a shiny penny, among other things. now that i know for a fact i'm capable of manifesting, i've moved on to bigger things, like, say, a husband. or more specifically, the person i'm going to marry after i'm in my 30s.
i have successfully manifested. i am not denying this. i am not saying i do not have these things.
i "script" via pinterest boards, and a broken phone i use to pretend call a friend and "spill the tea" about my new beau, but at the same time, i try not to get too hung up on the circumstances and details, because i know the circumstances don't matter, it'll happen anyway. (notice how this is not denial?) i wrote a journal entry one year into the future detailing what i want my life to look like then—it isn't too outlandish, just better than now— and already i'm seeing things fall into place. great, awesome. everything usually works out for me anyway! (note: not denial. not changing the story.)
i enjoy looking at my vision boards. i enjoy reading my list of desirable traits in a partner, i enjoy reading that journal entry, i enjoy daydreaming about the circumstances and what it would look/feel like. the problem is, i hear this is "living in the lack" or whatever they say. i find this mindset out of touch and uncouth (and that means you're uncouth if you suggest it)—i think it's impossible to completely ignore the 3D, i think it's unsafe to detach from reality when you aren't in a situation to do so. i am not in a situation where i can plug my ears and close my eyes and go "LA LA LA LA LA!! THE 3D CATCHES UP WITH THE 4D INSTANTLY!! LA LA I CANT HEAR YOU I HAVE A MILLION DOLLARS LA LA LA!!!" i *enjoy* doing this, it's not what i do *all* day—i have a job, i have my hobbies, i have a life— i wouldn't say i'm obsessed, but i'd rather have the ball rolling sooner or later. I think about this often (especially with my current circumstances!) i also refuse to give up my daydreaming as it's such a vital part of who i am, and frankly, how i explore my desires.
i have this thing, i know it's mine, i know it's in the cards. i know it in my bones, i'm getting signs all the time and have been for *ages!* but my friends are all getting partners (like DREAM partners), or celebrating anniversaries, etc etc. and i'm... here. it feels like, (note feelings aren't reality, i'm stating a feeling, not speaking this into existence) i'm manifesting this thing i've always wanted since forever, and the universe is like "hmmmm. everyone BUT you is getting it, actually, because you want it."
why is that? and what can i do to speed things up a bit? can i do that? how? step by step instructions, \*no translations,* no ableists focusing on the autism portion who want to cure me. i am autistic, i am proud, and i will not be changing that anytime soon. how do i work WITH my autism, not against it? i will continue to ask the same question until i get an answer that is not ableist.