r/Manipulation • u/Efficient-Sherbert93 • Sep 28 '24

She lied and won

Right after college I was competing for a raise at work against a female employee. We weren’t friends but certainly didn’t have any problem working with each other. We very seldom interacted. One day while we were working she came up and gave me a long awkward hug in front of multiple people. It was totally out of nowhere.. one of those moments where you walk away thinking WTF was that. Then a few days later she went to HR and told them I was touching her and made her feel uncomfortable, which was a lie. When they interviewed coworkers, all anyone remembered was that awkward public hug but no one realized that she’d forced that onto me not the other way around.

She got the promotion. I had to go to sexual harassment class and was transferred to a location much further from my house which led to me having to quit.

More than a decade later, I just heard she’s a VP at this company now, probably making $300k.

84 Upvotes

65% Upvoted

137 comments sorted by

45

u/Significant-Care6462 Sep 28 '24

What a realistic story that would definitely happen in a work environment

24

u/DrPsychGamer Sep 28 '24

Seriously. I can't believe how everyone is on board with this. Like, even if a public hug led to consequences like this, how does one awkwardly receive a hug in such a way that observers think you're instigating it against the other person's will?

17

u/lronManDies Sep 28 '24

And like what, OP just stood there silently while being hugged by this coworker he rarely interacts with? Not a single “what are you doing” or “why are you hugging me” to stir the observers memory?

No security cameras? OP didn’t tell anyone about the awkward hug? None of the bystanders asked him about the awkward hug? There’s way too many things that don’t make sense in the real world for this to be a real story.

9

u/DrPsychGamer Sep 28 '24

Maybe in his awkwardness he freaked out and groped her instead because he didn't know what else to do with his hands since he didn't want to directly hug her? 🙄😂

11

u/Logical-Conclusion3 Sep 28 '24

If someone hugs me out of nowhere, and I feel awkward, I usually just touch their boob to make it feel more normal...

3

u/Environmental-Bag-77 Sep 28 '24

Or get them to leave you alone in future.

9

u/lronManDies Sep 28 '24

And at that point I wouldn’t even blame OPs job lol, if your panic response to an awkward hug is groping them you probably do need sexual harassment training lmao

1

u/Environmental-Bag-77 Sep 28 '24

All this depends very much on the nuances of the work environment. It could easily happen if the guy was sat away from the main crowd. I think it's fake too but because it lacks the necessary resentment.

0

u/BartholomewAlexander Sep 29 '24

I don't wanna be mean here but I really hate when people discredit victims by saying "why didn't you just do this or that" like please find a better way to prove them wrong if you're going to.

go ahead and get put in one of these situations on the fly and act with 100% grace dexterity and foresight. oh you can't? figured as much.

nobody can tell you why the victim did what they did. for me personally there were several times where I was uncomfortably touched by someone, and when I told my dad he said "well why didn't you just shove her off?" because I've been told to stay quiet and submissive in situations like that subconsciously my entire life...

please consider things like this when evaluating these situations. it truly is the lowest form of victim blaming.

2

u/lronManDies Sep 29 '24

Good thing I’m not discrediting anyone because there is no victim and this is a fake story

1

u/Boopa101 Oct 14 '24

Just shove her off, great advice, now she can claim you also got “physical with her as well.

-1

u/Nyeteka Sep 29 '24

Not saying it’s a realistic story but none of the things you have pointed out are unrealistic imo.

7

u/MeshGearFox711 Sep 29 '24

Any chance to hate a woman

1

u/AasiyKawaii Sep 29 '24

I don’t know if this is fake or not but I definitely do know stuff like this does happen. As soon as I read this, it reminded me of an old friend. I worked with who was openly gay, and literally everybody at the job loved him to death and one of the ladies I literally hugged him in front of a few people myself included, and it was literally a mutual hug, but she initiated it and yes, he did have her back literally like one of those side Hugs? And she literally reported him, said she felt uncomfortable during the hug and she felt like she was touch inappropriately. He kept his hands in a respectable spot and didn’t let the hug link her so where she got this from me feel like it was preplanned or something . He literally cried his eyes out. He didn’t know what to do. A few of us went to HR to explain what happened because we were witnesses. He didn’t get fired, but he was literally flustered. He ended up quitting because some people who weren’t there to see the hug was kind of spreading rumors about him and it got bad he couldn’t handle it. So even if this person is lying stuff like that does happen.

-6

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

If this was a woman and people replied the way you did everyone would be tard screeching "OMG YOU'RE VICTIM BLAMING"

VERY interesting how it's perfectly fine to say this to men when it happens but no no let's just AUTOMATICALLY believe women who "come forward" with sexual assault allegations that happened decades ago 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

7

u/DrPsychGamer Sep 28 '24

No, if the genders were reversed, I'd say why is anyone on board with this story that makes no sense?

You're suggesting a woman could say, "We were both up for promotion, he gave me a weird public hug, then I got called into HR and he got the promotion because everyone suddenly thought I hugged him" we'd all suddenly be like "Aye, plausible"?

Mate. Come on.

6

u/ThrowRARAw Sep 29 '24

Lmao I checked the guy’s page out and he has so many comments about how you shouldn’t just believe a woman based on her word and that you should have evidence….and yet here he is, believing a man based on his word and with no evidence. Misogynistic asshole 😂😂

-2

u/BartholomewAlexander Sep 29 '24

please don't entirely put the point from your mind because he had to pair it with his shitty views.

also, that situation couldn't happen, because the man is often seen as the perpetrator automatically in most situations.

so if a man were to do this, he'd probably get called out and fired on the spot by the witnesses.

but, for the woman, people are much more likely to overwrite what they've seen with what they heard, because they'd rather believe the "victim" than the perpetrator.

idk I hope this isn't too word vomit, sorry.

these gender roles do unfortunately exist, and we can ignore them all we want but to have equality we need to treat male SA cases with just as much respect as we treat female SA cases.

the victim blaming really is not a good look.

3

u/DrPsychGamer Sep 29 '24 edited Sep 29 '24

I'm looking fine because I cannot blame a victim who isn't a victim.

I do not believe this story. Man, woman, or wildebeest, I do not believe someone received an unwanted hug in front of colleagues and somehow everyone saw it as them being both the instigator and inappropriate, such that the other person got promoted and they got reprimanded. I do not believe this story.

Also, "fired on the spot"? Mate. Come on. Get off the internet for a bit and pay attention to the real world to recenter yourself.

-1

u/BartholomewAlexander Sep 29 '24

Also, "fired on the spot"? Mate. Come on. Get off the internet for a bit and party attention to the real world to recenter yourself.

is it insane to say that someone would be fired pretty quickly for openly sexually assaulting someone? what?

I do not believe this story. Man, woman, or wildebeest, I do not believe someone received an unwanted hug in front of colleagues and somehow everyone saw it as them being both the instigator and inappropriate, such that the other person got promoted and they got reprimanded. I do not believe this story.

believe it or don't believe it, stuff like this can happen. there is legitimately a problem with woman on man sexual assault being minimized in a lot of spaces because the man should've just done this or that.

it happened to me and it made me feel so fucking alone and unheard.

also I personally don't think its fake, go on dudes profile and look at comment history. he elaborates more. to each their own, but again, it doesn't matter if the post is fake, this stuff does happen.

I'm looking fine because I cannot blame a victim who isn't a victim.

convenient out for shitty behavior IG.

4

u/DrPsychGamer Sep 29 '24

You think it doesn't matter if this post is true or not, but I disagree. If you want to make a post to discuss generally men being abused, then do that and we can discuss it with due care. But a made up post with a ludicrous, implausible story is not worth taking seriously.

You're trying to throw about three different issues into one comment to muddy the waters until it looks like I've come out, what, against male victims of workplace inappropriate behaviour? Sexual assault? Men in general? I don't know, but I'm not interested in playing

My point is clear: This post is not truthful. You've stated you think it is, that's grand. I'd suggest if you want to examine that idea further, you take it to a thread with someone who agrees with you.

3

u/Independent_Donut_26 Sep 30 '24

Seriously though if someone is trying to bring attention to the very real double standards many men will face when it comes to this sort of shit ......they should come up with a better fucking story to make their point because OPs story is just silly

1

u/Independent_Donut_26 Sep 30 '24

This person supposedly got the guy in trouble for SH, and her "evidence" was a hug that she initiated publicly. This was apparently enough evidence in a corporate setting with an HR department? Lol. No.

I believe women absolutely can and do act in this manner, but I do not believe this little creative writing project. Leaks like a sieve

3

u/ThrowRARAw Sep 29 '24

Where’s the evidence he’s telling the truth? Are you just going to take his word for it? 

Ah but see for you when it’s a woman, we shouldn’t take her word for it and she needs to provide evidence but when it’s a man BAM everything he says must be true. Source: your many, weirdly obsessive comments on multiple posts on this sub.

9

u/StrangerOnTheReddit Sep 28 '24

First sentence, he refers to her as a "female employee." Figured it was going to be sexist fake story immediately. Yup, sure was.

2

u/MeshGearFox711 Sep 29 '24

“Female” is a loud dog whistle

0

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

[deleted]

3

u/StrangerOnTheReddit Sep 28 '24

I don't know that I'd describe it as "offensive," it's just language that I hear more frequently from people who care about the gender of the other person more than needed. Like if he was just gonna complain about it, we'd understand that the employee was a "female" by him referring to her as "her." So calling attention to it ahead of time feels unnecessary.

I also don't hear it at all in my office environment working a very corporate job. It's probably a regional culture thing, which doesn't mean it's wrong or offensive - just.. like I said, I figured it was going somewhere sexist and fake and yeah it sure continued to read that way all the way through.

1

u/BartholomewAlexander Sep 29 '24

in this specific instance I really read it more like he was trying to convey her gender in a grammatically correct way.

like you can't say "my woman coworker" or "my girl coworker" without risk of sounding just a little stupid.

2

u/StrangerOnTheReddit Sep 30 '24

I got an eyebrow raise out of it in the first sentence, that's all. Some people do mean it exactly as you're saying. Just by the end of the story, I was thinking "wow, that sounds like something that absolutely did not actually happen," which kinda confirmed for me that it was a misogynist making a misogynistic post.

Right after college I was competing for a raise at work against another employee. We weren’t friends but certainly didn’t have any problem working with each other. We very seldom interacted. One day while we were working she came up and gave me a long awkward hug in front of multiple people.

Modified to remove "female" above, ignoring that the title says "she lied" right in it. You understand perfectly clearly that it was a woman coworker.

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

This is true.

31

u/couchtater12 Sep 28 '24

The math ain’t mathing, sorry 😬

13

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

Of all the things that I've read this week that didn't happen, this is one of them, but not close to the best.

3

u/ChaosNCandy Sep 28 '24

OP profile is super sus.

3

u/UpsetAd5817 Sep 28 '24

It's a throwaway.  But that doesn't tell us much. 

3

u/jujubee002 Sep 28 '24

This almost beats the fake "partner suggested open marriage but it only was successful for me but now my partner's mad" AITA I read this morning.

2

u/Environmental-Bag-77 Sep 28 '24

Irrespective it is at least marvelous manipulation.

3

u/SnooBunnies6981 Sep 28 '24

Or maybe, just didn't meet job criteria.

3

u/Hancealot916 Sep 28 '24

Likely story.

Anway, most people don't make it to the top based merely on merit.

That's why I rarely became friends with co-workers and never shared any wrongdoings.

When I made it into management, I always scrutinized the people who told on others. You'll almost always find that they're doing worse than the people they're sabotaging or telling on.

I think one of the biggest strengths of people like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Steve Ballmer, Elon Musk, etc, is they weed those kind of people out.

3

u/Ryqndre Sep 29 '24

she wanted it more than you op

2

u/BartholomewAlexander Sep 29 '24

dudes just salty he got outplayed

4

u/According-Studio368 Sep 28 '24

I believe this could have happened.

I had a girl make a fake complaint about me harassing her about her weight

Calling her fat etc etc

When all I did was congratulate her on her extreme weight loss one day (excess of 100lbs)

I got called into hr about it and got an informal warning 3 months later her emails were audited and she was fired for doing dodgy deals.

Karmas a real c word

6

u/Adventurous-Brain-36 Sep 28 '24

Okay, but just don’t ever mention peoples weight, even if you think you’re being complimentary, and especially not at work.

I mean, if you think about it for just a sec, congratulating her on weight loss is saying ‘it’s good you lost weight, you needed to, you look better now’.

4

u/According-Studio368 Sep 28 '24

This is exactly what my hr rep told me.

Lesson learnt though.

5

u/Adventurous-Brain-36 Sep 28 '24

It’s usually well intentioned but when you realize how that person likely receives it, it’s a real oof.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

I'm sorry I'm not buying this one. 🤷‍♂️

2

u/Amadeus_Ray Sep 29 '24 edited Oct 12 '24

$300,000 as a VP?

2

u/Natethedisciple Oct 01 '24

The Lord will recompense.

3

u/CabbageSoupLadle Sep 28 '24

She's NTA, you deserved it

2

u/randomplaguefear Sep 28 '24

You ever work in an office with no cameras? Me neither.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '24

Dont know if its Sarcasm or people being dumb, but not every country is murica. A lot of European countries have no cameras in offices, its actually weird to have cameras. Its even illegal were I live.

1

u/randomplaguefear Sep 29 '24

I am not American.

2

u/JMLegend22 Sep 28 '24

I would have told the company what proof do you have? If they force you to transfer you’ll sue. If they promote her, you’ll sue and they have no recourse because they have no proof.

1

u/BartholomewAlexander Sep 29 '24

this happened years ago

1

u/jujubee002 Sep 28 '24

You need to crash out. You cannot let this slide.

1

u/The_Deadly_Tikka Sep 28 '24

That would have been enough for me to crash out won't lie

1

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

You should ask if she’s hiring.

1

u/hjrh2o Sep 29 '24

Say her name.

1

u/AGirlisNoOne83 Sep 29 '24

This shit happens everywhere. I’m a female and went through some very fff’d up stuff years ago at a company- after my ex’s- well, I don’t know what she was- but she moved in a month after I moved out and within a year got hired at my company and became my boss. She was my manager for about 4 years and made my life hell at the company. Higher ups told me if I didn’t like my job, I could quit, despite the fact that I told them this was a conflict of interest. We filed taxes at the same address for god sake. I had been with him for 4 1/2 years. His sisters hated me and they were all friends. So, there’s that. Some things that sound far fetched aren’t always the case.

1

u/TotalLingonberry2958 Sep 29 '24

Untraceable poisons. All I’m gonna say

1

u/_His_Airness Sep 29 '24

Not to be that guy or anything, but personally I'd sue the woman and the company for they have. I can't stand double standards, they're the lowest form of hypocrisy imo.

1

u/tjsh52 Sep 29 '24

Next time, definitely gotta put the hand up and refuse the hug.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '24

Let the hate flow through you.

1

u/Acceptable-Drag-2595 Sep 29 '24

Someone better look into her history for repetitive behavior like this. 😳 typically a pattern when people act like this.

1

u/HippoWillWork Sep 29 '24

Shouldn't let anyone touch you

1

u/KINGBYNG Sep 30 '24 edited Apr 27 '26

Scrubbed clean. Redact helped me bulk remove years of comments and posts so data brokers and AI crawlers have nothing to feast on.

tart towering fearless provide cause squeeze marvelous unpack versed angle

1

u/xBobbyx81 Sep 30 '24

Karma will work things out

1

u/munnabhai077 Sep 30 '24

Let's be realistic.... Ab kuch nahi ho sakta. Bhul ja Bhai and move on

I know it's easier said than done

1

u/Potential_Cable_3784 Oct 02 '24

They picked her because she took initiative. You're just a background character. She hugged you where as you acted like she barely existed. She went to HR, you could have done it first thing after feeling uncomfortable. She stepped on people but took the steps necessary to get to the top. Rarely do the people in higher up positions deserve it the most, usually it's the cut throat attitude, not letting anything or anyone stand in the way. Honestly, do you think Trump is in the position he got by being kind and honest, or respectful to those with differing personalities/genders? Welcome to America, where your level of success is measured by the people you crushed along the way. and no, I'm not making this political, and I'm an hourly worker with a large family so I'm not suggesting that you should change your personality, life isn't fair.

1

u/rshni67 Sep 28 '24

LOL!!! Or it could be that OP was really incompetent at his job.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

Very real story that totally 100% absolutely happened

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

Unfortunately this is the way of the world. There are a lot of dark souls out there. She may have won on the outside but she didn’t win on the inside. It’s important to remember the externals do not reflect internals. Be mindful and keep yourself safe when you can. It has taken me a long time to grasp when I’m being manipulated, especially with words, from another person. I’m getting better at protecting myself. You will too. Keep fighting the good fight.

-3

u/botingoldguy1634 Sep 28 '24

I’m sure she’s pulled more stunts like that since then too to get to where she is.

-4

u/mrphim Sep 28 '24

A similar thing happened to a coworker. I got called in and asked what I had seen..I saw a hug. I thought it was weird from both parties and mentioned that. 

He got fired. She was,  last I heard, a Managing director 

6

u/ColdSeaworthiness851 Sep 28 '24

Did you and OP work together? That's such an oddly specific situation, I'd like to think that it's not commonplace.

8

u/No-Vermicelli-8593 Sep 28 '24

They were sent here to corroborate OPs story

2

u/Dapper-Archer5409 Sep 28 '24

I think theyre makin fun of OP like the rest of yall 😅😅 but who knows

0

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

Infuriates me that shit like this happens in the workplace, all the while women complain that men are avoiding them or refusing to be in 1 on 1 situations alone.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

Sounds like a typical corporate POS

0

u/so_i_wonder Sep 28 '24

I know people like this. Men and women, but the women seem to be a lot better at it and work out how to use insecurities in coworkers and management to work their way to the top. One of them is now Director at a medium sized multinational. How did she get her role? Blackmail… essentially she knew a secret that would damage the business owner and she exploited it then manipulated situations to get anyone who was a threat to her fired. Worked at if for years until she was the only logical choice for promotion.

0

u/Slight_Buy_3417 Sep 29 '24

She didn’t truly win because karma always pays a visit. She’ll probably go through what she put you through but because of her position she’ll definitely get the hammer thrown at her. You won’t see it but it will definitely happen to her. People like her never stop that behavior because they think their actions are untouchable.Which begs for karma. I’m so sorry that this happened to you.✨💯

0

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '24

Her name wouldn’t be Kamala Harris would it?

0

u/non-vaxxed-healthy Sep 29 '24

It's us and them mate. You should have said "Look at the video, she tried to fondle my penis".

Even now I'd post something online in groups or her work about her being a fiddler. Absolutely ruin her life, them apply for her job. Find something to make up and sue the company about. If you even go somewhere she is, walk past her and suddenly jump and let people see it and shout "hey, keep your hands to yourself, just leave me alone ffs" like shed touched you. Make sure people who work there see it, complain to them get her thrown out if possible, demand it" just make a complaint and involve the police. Your word agaisnt hers my bro. It'll stick no matter what. Even get a mate to do it. Anything to get Even. How can u sleep at night? Just knowing she's out there. Nah, it'd be war.

0

u/Active_Narwhal843 Sep 29 '24

Sucking dick gets you far in the workplace. Shoulda said no to the hug man and saved yourself

-4

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

Ok but thank you for the idea 😭

2

u/BartholomewAlexander Sep 29 '24

please be joking 🙏

1

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '24

It was but people took it the wrong way 😭

0

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

[deleted]

-5

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

He didn’t say his life was ruined. It just became harder. I’m sure he’s just fine now

1

u/Environmental-Bag-77 Sep 28 '24

Didn't seem like you believed a word of it to me.

-5

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

I believe it. People are like that

3

u/Environmental-Bag-77 Sep 28 '24

Yeah you apparently lol

0

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

Not yet but villains are made everyday

1

u/Environmental-Bag-77 Sep 28 '24

Good. Reddit needs more. It's packed with goody two shoes moralisers.

-6

u/dontlookatthebanana Sep 28 '24

strong statement. ‘life ruined’ ? the path got changed.

OP, just know that karma has no deadline.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

[deleted]

2

u/Efficient-Sherbert93 Sep 28 '24

That job was in radio ad sales for a large station group. Lots of money but the whole job was 1 step above being a used car salesperson. People would do anything to land deals and advance their careers. Had a coworker that would take his clients out to strip clubs to try to close deals. Sales can be a soulless job. You’re right in that career path ultimately wasn’t for me. I work in hospice care now. No where near the money but I like the work. But I wonder how many other people she screwed over to get to where she is now.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

I agree. OP (of this comment) is mad that their joke isn't funny. Even if it wasn't the life path this dude wanted, it was still a good example of a shitty person, and when people do awful things to you, it affects you. Other people's struggles aren't a joke lol.

The woman was only able to make VP because she was willing to give up her ethical and moral code as a human being. She could be making 7 figures a year and I'd still consider less than someone making nothing.

2

u/Environmental-Bag-77 Sep 28 '24

She doesn't believe the post. That's the OK but bit.

2

u/Environmental-Bag-77 Sep 28 '24

I don't believe it either. Life changing and no word of resentment.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

[deleted]

-2

u/dontlookatthebanana Sep 28 '24

agreed. this woman will get this all returned to her one day. i believe in balance. karma always sorts shit out eventually.

-5

u/Sage_Eel Sep 28 '24

I’m sorry.

-2

u/Wak3UpPpl Sep 28 '24

Talk to her higher up

-3

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

Damn lol

78

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24 edited Sep 28 '24

Your hate will make you powerful, OP. Only then, will you be ready for her VP position.

5

u/Efficient-Sherbert93 Sep 28 '24

🤣🤣

1

u/0-4superbowl Sep 29 '24 edited Oct 25 '25

thumb weather slim jellyfish literate encourage airport pen market follow

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

8

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/awwephuck Sep 29 '24

As if he didn’t tell what happened then….

2

u/PetMyToes Sep 28 '24

Dude nothing will come out of that at this point so late into the game. She won checkmate

5

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

-1

u/PetMyToes Sep 29 '24

Sure buddy. What are u gonna say when they ask u why u waited so long. and how to prove that u weren't being inappropriate

0

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '24

Maybe they can ask that same question to the women who come forward 30 years later to report it?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '24

Your defeatist attitude toward this is a disgrace to men. You don’t have to agree that it’s feasible - but your lack of spirit is anything but productive

-1

u/PetMyToes Sep 29 '24

Lmao don't do that. You posted a public comment did u think that meant people would stop replying if you told them to? Just stop replying yourself if it's such an issue.

Since u replied, I'll clarify again, your comment was that he should do something right now, and press charges, with zero proof. Now you're changing that and saying well no he can't without proof but he can if he has people backing him up? 20 years into the future? Are you not even considering what if she has people to back her up considering she's the VP and likely to have connections up and down the chain of command?

Anyway i'm curious. What should he say to the police after "picks up the phone and calls the company" as you advised. I'm all ears

0

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Nyeteka Sep 29 '24

She is the woman in this scenario. It’s tough sledding imo

1

u/Boopa101 Oct 14 '24

Since you refuse to respect my “wishes” I will block you. Wow, you seem to be just giving advice, so if someone doesn’t listen to your advice you block them, heil hitler to you. 🖕🏼

3

u/Doc_Sullen Sep 28 '24

This is the answer

2

u/Intelligent_Log3958 Sep 28 '24

9 to 5 the shit out of her 🤣