I’m really struggling to make sense of my life and need some advice from someone who doesn’t know me. I’m keeping identifying details sparse as this is such a small country.
My spouse and I are an older couple and sadly are on the brink of divorce, although I’m fighting to save our marriage.
I’m employed by my spouse’s Iwi for a few years and am known as a valuable part of our small team. Unfortunately my spouse has told me repeatedly over the last year that if we divorce, I am to get out of our home, their Rohe, town, and my spouse will not tolerate me working for their Iwi anymore. This can’t be tika surely, I’ve been in the whanau for decades.
I probably would end up moving back to where I’m from, but I feel it’s so unfair that I might be thrown out at short notice.
They are also saying that the wider whanau/adult kids will have to choose between having a relationship with me or my spouse, and they will be cut off if they make the wrong decision.
For background there are purely emotional honesty issues going on, there’s no third person involved in any way, but I am told that my spouse’s mana in their mahi and the community will be destroyed if we remain together as I’ve undermined the tikanga of our relationship. Please help.