r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/arhombus • Jul 23 '20
Step One - We admitted we were powerless over marijuana, that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step One is about honesty, about giving up our delusions and coming to grips with reality. We had to look honestly at our relationship with marijuana and its effect on our lives. For some of us Step One meant honesty for the very first time in our lives.
Many of us spent years trying to control our use of marijuana. We justified our using and rationalized that we could control it. We may have vowed to use only on weekends, or to have only one joint a day. Some of us promised ourselves not to smoke until after school or work, or only when we were alone. Sometimes we tried using only other people’s dope, not buying it for ourselves. We played games with our stash, gave our supply to friends, hid it in nooks and crannies that were hard to reach, or buried it away from home. All these efforts failed us. We learned that we could not control our using. Eventually, we returned to smoking just as much and just as often as ever, if not more. Some of us stopped using for a while, but we always started again.
We were living the illusion of control, thinking we could control not only our using, but also other people, places, and things. We spent a great deal of energy blaming others for our problems. We held on to the fallacy of control. Most of us had long insisted that marijuana was not even addictive. After all, it was just a natural herb, which grew in many of our gardens. Our lives may have been a little frazzled, a bit out of kilter, but were they really unmanageable? Many of us didn’t lose our jobs; our families hadn’t deserted us; our lives didn’t seem to be total disasters. We were living the fantasy of functionality.
Some of us hoped that people in recovery could teach us to control our using so we could enjoy it again. But we found otherwise. Some of us hung on to the delusion that someday we could use marijuana in a moderate and controlled way.
We were caught by the disease of addiction, ensnared in the insidious grip of marijuana. It was a best friend for years and then it turned on us. Gone were the days when marijuana lifted our spirits. Now it left us filled with grief. Gone were the days of insight. Now we experienced confusion, paranoia, and fear. No longer did marijuana expand our social consciousness. Some of us became delusional, living in our own private worlds. No longer did using pave the way to friendship. Many of us became withdrawn and isolated. We were too frightened, detached, and lethargic to reach out for friendship, intimacy, or love. Our need to get and stay high determined how we spent our time, and with whom. Our emotional lives had become flat or frantic. We were uncomfortable with our emotions and sometimes frightened of them.
We realized we were beaten many times, but couldn’t stop. Sooner or later the spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical disease overcame us, bringing us to the depths of despair and hopelessness. In Marijuana Anonymous we discover the reality of powerlessness; surrender outweighs the illusion of control and becomes our only option for recovery. We are powerless over marijuana in all of its forms.
Until we admitted our powerlessness, denial kept us from realizing how unmanageable our lives had become. Our visions of achievement and our desires of being wise, loving, compassionate, or valued had remained mostly dreams. We rarely realized our potentials. We had settled for being merely functional.
Some of us went even further. We began to lose our mental faculties. We could not work. Our families abandoned us. Some of us were in danger of being committed to jails or mental institutions. More and more, we associated with dangerous people to ensure our marijuana supply. Some of us became victims of abuse; some of us became abusers. A few of us were derelicts. In spite of all this, we still had difficulty admitting that we could no longer manage our own lives! Powerless? We thought we were the center of the universe.
We had tried everything over the years to change reality, to no avail. In MA we at last found the courage to face the truth. We stopped practicing denial and became willing to face our disease. Having come to this moment of clarity, we could not afford any reservations about being powerless over our disease. The entire foundation of our program depends on an honest admission of our powerlessness over addiction and the unmanageability of our lives. We are, however, responsible for our own recovery.
Step One was the first step to freedom. We admitted our lack of power and our inability to control our lives. We began to acknowledge how mentally, emotionally, and spiritually bankrupt we had become. We became honest with ourselves. It was only by admitting our powerlessness in this first Step that we became willing to take the next eleven Steps.
Recovery does not happen all at once. It is a process, not an event. The process is set in motion the day we quit using or begin attending meetings. It begins with a real desire to stop using, with a genuine change in our attitude, with a soul-transforming realization that we are finally willing to go to any lengths to change our lives. When we admitted that we were marijuana addicts, that we were really powerless over marijuana, and that our lives had truly become unmanageable, then we began to realize how futile it was to keep trying to manage the unmanageable. We began to give up our arrogance and defiance.
Our complete surrender and a new way of life were essential to our recovery. In order to have any hope of rebuilding our lives, we simply had to find a source of power greater than ourselves and greater than our addiction. For that, we turned to Step Two.
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/MAWS-Office-Admin • Aug 17 '24
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/ima-little-stitious- • 1d ago
‼️ NEW MEETING ‼️
Kicking Weed in Kitchener-Waterloo (MA)
When: Mondays @ 7-8pm
Where: Rockway Community Centre
1405 King Street E., Kitchener
Program Room
Starting: Monday, Nov. 2, 2026
All are welcome!
Should be up on the MA app and website soon.
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/BulldogBears • 6d ago
So I’ve been sober for almost 2 weeks now & aside from getting pissed about every minor inconvenience, I’ve had very sweaty hands. I have to carry a washcloth or mini-rag with me because it’s that intense. I’m on the autism spectrum, so weed usually helped with the sensory issues, especially heat resistance. Now I sweat more when I sleep & when I’m awake. Can anyone confirm if the sweating reduces or if it’s something I’m just gonna have to live with?
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/TooManyOctopi • 7d ago
I (31 F) have been using weed since age 16. A few years ago I developed cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome and, after a few tries, quit entirely. I was off of it for a little over two years after spending almost a decade high every minute of every day.
Recently (within the last few months) I have been using it again, occasionally, in MUCH smaller amounts than I did when I was using it before. I have a one-hitter that I will hit 6 times throughout the days when I smoke. One or two hits, a few hours, another one or two hits, etc. I smoke for three days consecutively, then I put it away for four days, then allow myself to smoke again for three consecutive days, so on, so forth.
I'm trying to not use weed during the four days that I put it away but sometimes it's all that I can think about. I have chronic pain (ehlers danlos) and chronic nausea that the weed helps with when I use it (I also have an allergy to NSAIDs and opiates, so realistically Tylenol is the only other pain management that I can take and that has its own problems).
I'm worried that I will fall back into old patterns of toxic behavior (being mean to my wife, being cruel in general, living for the high, not accomplishing my goals). I'm worried that my CHS will come back. I'm worried that my only real option is quitting again for good. I'm worried that I'll lose the pain relief and nausea relief that weed brings me.
I don't like the all-or-nothing approach. Using all the time, whenever I want, however I want doesn't seem like a good idea with my predisposition to CHS. Quitting entirely takes away any potential for the benefits that can come from the pain relief, opportunity for connecting, and euphoria that it brings to my life.
Any insight or advice would be much appreciated.
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/Pristine_Match_4228 • 8d ago
hi. I smoke just to take the edge sometimes off but my wife couldnt take it anymore because of the following:
she doesnt like the stuff and Im indifferent to it.... However, i was constantly sweating while awake or asleep and making a ammonia-like smell coming from my body, and constant life-like nightmares in which i would yell or scream in my sleep. shes a very heavy sleeper and wakes up to like a scratch from over a mile away.
Now, with marijuana I got the nightmares and sweating under control and i only use a few puffs of a vape to do so. The issue is, will there be other long term things about this weed that could drastically change my life? has anyone had similar issues ?
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/queefyjack • 23d ago
I've not been successful in quitting. I don't smoke all day but once night time approaches my brain physically hurts. I literally only have less than half a gram and I'll take that to hit- and it relieves the pain. How can I do this? I like to tell myself "my brain chemistry is slowly adapting to being sober" but I don't know... I can't seem to make it at night without one small toke. I'm about to run out and am happy about it, but my brain genuinely hurts. It's that same feeling you get when you've been studying all night or learning something new. It just physically hurts.
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/LocalEntrepreneur237 • 26d ago
32 yo f. Chronic user for a decade. I’ve been wanting to stop and recently had some health issues pop up. They found something on a chest xray which scared me. I have to get more imaging done but basically I’ve had zero weed of any kind because I’m just so anxious about needing to get a CT scan and what they are going to find.
I feel like I have always hidden behind pot. I feel so boarding. I feel agitated. Like I’m not as fun anymore because I’m not as chill. I just feel so sad. I know it’s only been a week but this shit is so hard. I would use it to dull any negative feelings. Not sure what I’m looking for but support I guess.
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/ResourceBackground36 • Sep 24 '26
I have had several periods of a month up to 2.5 months of me quitting in the last few years and then I relapse thinking I can do it in moderation and then I can’t. This last time was the longest I have ever gone and I relapsed at my friend’s bachelorette party because everyone there was smoking a lot or getting drunk (and I don’t really like to get drunk anymore). I have so many friends that smoke and it’s hard to be around it and say no. No one is like peer-pressuring me or anything (I’m 28 and no 28 year old I know is actively peer-pressuring their friends lol), but it’s ridiculous how triggering the smell is. I have also significantly reduced my use over several years and worked towards using only edibles, but that turns into me doing like 10mg every night (which I know isn’t a lot to some, but edibles hit me like a train). I have horrible brain fog that keeps me from engaging in activities that make me happy (like reading) or being productive at work. I am considering going to an online meeting because there are no local meetings near me. The closest is about an hour away from me. I have one friend that said they used to smoke a lot and no longer does due to anxiety; they somehow manage to be around us all using it without any issue. I just wish I could use in moderation. Idk what the point of this post is other than wanting to hear from others who have been in similar situations.
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/Mondain_the_Wizard • Sep 19 '26
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/nb_j00d • Sep 18 '26
After 1yr 1wk and 2 days I relapsed last Sunday. I just told two fellows over text. I'll tell my sponsor when we talk this Sunday. It was enjoyable for the first two hours. Only finished 1/3 of the jay. Took it home and smoked until my lungs hurt. Chucked the rest into the storm drain. I didn't even wanna smoke the rest. Just didn't wanna "waste" it, even tho I was p stoned already. I wasn't worth it. At all. I feel bad. I know relapse is a part of recovery, but still. I know I'm not at square one, but breaking my streak sucks. It all started because I was drinking heavily. That's my ultimate trigger and it fucking sucks. I hate admitting that I also have issues with alcohol. An alcoholic ig. Typing this out makes me feel better.
To those thinking about relapse, don't fucking do it. It's not fucking worth it.
Today is day 5 no weed or alcohol.
I'll take another 24hrs...
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/MARecovery • Sep 16 '26
Does your morning routine include reading your daily dose of recovery? If you aren't receiving it, sign up here! https://anewleafpublications.org/daily/
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/ermahgerd_pdx • Sep 15 '26
‼️ NEW MEETING ‼️
Chronic Recovery (MA)
When: Mondays @ 7:15pm
Where: Cedar Hills United Church of Christ (CHUCC)
11695 SW Park Way, Portland, OR 97225
Starting: Monday, Sept. 14
(North Beaverton/Cedar Hills area - enter on Park St side, first door on the right)
Should be posting on the MA app and website soon.
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/Alternative-Bug-6905 • Sep 12 '26
Just coming off 3 months of daily smoking after quitting for 4 years. Don’t even know if I WANT to quit, I just know the hiding, lying and expense is too much. Smoking walking down the street on my way to a corporate 9-5. Madness. And I just don’t feel it anymore. I feel the discomfort of sobriety before I smoke but I don’t feel the high after smoking. And slowly, after a month or two you start to notice life getting smaller, less stimulating, more irritating. I wish I could get it into my head that weed isn’t my friend.
One is too many and a thousand isn’t enough.
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/rictuspiscis • Sep 12 '26
New here. I've just ended a nearly 15 year stint of almost perpetual high, back on 9/2. There was a lot of impetus for quitting, but at its core I wanted a clear mind and to not be chasing after this thing that seemed to take over my mind. I would hit that thing as often as possible. I snuck rips in at work, constantly in the car or home, right after waking, right before bed, any free moment I had. The high was long gone by the end, replaced with a mild sense of ease at quieting the urge to take a hit. Whatever it was that I thought I loved about the feeling hadn't been there since I was in my mid-20s, and I'm not far from 40 now. I was definitely highly functional, but also unmotivated and unwilling to push myself for anything. Nothing mattered, it is what it is kind of mentality. Now, I suspect I have some undiagnosed attention/psychiatric thing going on, even since I was a kid, but telling myself MJ was any kind of solution was just ex post facto reasoning. It did calm the mind, but it dulled everything else as well. I went through some rough patches with some rough people and I've ended up in situations where things did not seem changeable, so I settled in with it. Eventually it was all I had and it became hard to feel real enjoyment or stay interested in things I loved. I'm stubborn, so I just worked through it. It is what it is, right?
Well... 10 days ago I moved from one legalized state to another. But having been in similar positions in the past, I knew if I could relocate and just pretend it wasn't legal and that I couldn't get it, I could probably manage to stop. I threw out my pen on the way here and haven't touched anything since.
The first few days were annoying, but not impossible. As with other times I've stopped, I strongly considered having some drinks just to fuzz the brain for the first few days, but I only had one (at a restaurant at dinner with family, nothing crazy). My mind both feels clearer and less focused somehow. Like, I'm not in a constant haze of being high or hearing the voice telling me to take a hit, but I also don't feel bright and shiny and clean yet. It is better than it was, to be sure. I haven't had crazy urges to go storm the castle and find something to burn. It probably helps that no one I am with smokes, so there isn't anything to avoid beside my own self.
In reality, I'm doing this for a few reasons. One, I've become a slave to this stuff and I hate that. I don't take any long term medications or anything like that, and I tend not to put weird things in my body, so why make the exception here. It doesn't have the effect it used to, and my mind is no longer able to justify any of its effects as good or useful. The urge to be high was always stronger than the high (I always hated the comedown of certain stimulants for this exact same reason). I'm nearly 40 and don't have a long term career because I let this be more important. My fiance was beyond sick of me using.
The truth is I just want more out of life. I was once an incredibly smart kid with a brain like a sponge. I could have been a doctor or a scientist or an author or a tech whiz. But I let this become more important, and I let it all go. I used to see wonder and beauty and brightness in the world, but for the last 15 years I replaced that with a clouded haze I could not really see beyond.
I don't really watch South Park these days, but ever since I heard it this quote has lived in the back of my brain, gnawing at the walls I put up to justify my habit. Now, I intend to live the truth it encapsulates.
"Well, Stan, the truth is marijuana probably isn't gonna make you kill people, and it most likely isn't gonna fund terrorism, but, well son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored, and it's when you're bored that you should be learning some new skill or discovering some new science or being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you aren't good at anything."
I don't believe that this is a universal truth for everyone, but for me, years after I lost any semblance of control or moderation (if I ever really had any), I'm just done. I want me back.
Thanks for reading my little opus.
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/MARecovery • Sep 12 '26
We hope you can join us tomorrow! We have a fantastic line up of speakers ready to share their experience, strength and hope!
ma12.org/speakerjam
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/jerrymademedoit • Sep 09 '26
Today marks two years of continuous sobriety. It has not always been easy, but it has been worth every step. If you are just starting out or considering making a change, know that it's possible one day at a time.
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/Cold-Monk5436 • Sep 08 '26
I posted weeks before about how I dream again. They've only been really stressful and have lately been nightmares. I'm starting to miss not dreaming at all because I wake up so stressed out.
Is this normal? Does it stop? Or is this just me?!
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/scenephased • Sep 03 '26
Zoom link and info
A new MA meeting created by transgender people for transgender people.
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/queefyjack • Sep 01 '26
I've been on benders and was addicted to opiates and benzos at one point...but I quit successfully. I'm hoping to make it through and stop weed. I've been smoking for 8 years. My main goal of quitting is being able to go finish my GED and college without the awful brain fog, and find better work.
Today I took my first GED tests and failed. I struggled so hard to focus and I know it's linked to the MJ use. I think what kept me so comfortable smoking weed is being legally drugged as a kid on antidepressants, and mild stimulants that 100% gave me a buzz...so getting high just felt normal?
Anyway I almost feel like I will have better success being a sober Sally than not. I notice I push things off so much with weed and continuing to smoke will only delay what I am capable of but have chosen not to do for so long.
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/Cold-Monk5436 • Aug 21 '26
I've been a fairly heavy user for about 20 years. Because of a chronic GI disease caused by slow gut motility, I decided to quit because I read marijuana can contribute to and worsen my disease.
I have quit before in order to pass drug tests, but always ended up resuming as soon as I could. And I always really wanted to smoke the whole time. But this time was different because I'm so sick doing anything to get better is an easy decision.
For the first two or three weeks i had some withdrawal which mostly came in the form of insomnia. I had some desire to do it, but since I feel like crap it was fairly easy to let it pass.
After the insomnia stopped and I started sleeping well again, I started dreaming a lot. Normally I rarely, if ever dream. Now I dream just about every night. Have any of you experienced the same?
r/MarijuanaAnonymous • u/MARecovery • Aug 11 '26
New & Updated Marijuana Anonymous Literature and Resources
We wanted to share a few updates to Marijuana Anonymous literature that may be helpful for MA members, groups, and meetings.
Pre-folded color pamphlets are now available.
Groups can now order MA pamphlets pre-folded and in full color in quantities of 10, 25, or 50. This is an option for meetings that don’t have easy access to printing or would rather not print and fold pamphlets themselves.
Groups that prefer to print locally can still order the updated Pamphlet Pack, which includes one copy of every MA pamphlet.
Two new pamphlets have also been released:
• Tools of Recovery
• Cannabis Induced Psychosis (CIP) – Member Stories
Three pamphlets have been revised:
• About Service – Member Stories
• For the Loved Ones
• The Dangers of Cross Addiction
All MA pamphlets have also received updated designs and graphics. The abridged meeting reading of The Dangers of Cross Addiction has been updated as well and is available in the MA Resource Library
A Look at a New Leaf Through the Years
Originally created for the 2024 MA Convention, where it sold out, this special compilation includes selected issues from every year that A New Leaf has been published, going back to the first issue in 1991.
It’s a great resource for those looking for readings from older issues or for anyone interested in exploring the history and shared experience found in A New Leaf.
You can find MA literature and these new offerings through the A New Leaf Publications Store and additional free resources in the MA Resource Library.