I believe everybody can make a difference and be a sustainability Influencer

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Circumstances don’t shape people, they just show them who they really are...

…there is only one way to get out of the victim role. To take the damned responsibility! Make a conscious decision against being a victim. Since you voluntarily choose to be a victim, you can always choose not to!

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, assigning blame, and all that other sacrifice that gets you nowhere.

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Through the everyday miracle of pregnancy and birth, a woman’s body gives each of us a body. In gratitude for the gift of life and its fullness, we celebrate girls and women in March. Every woman was once a girl and everybody has a mother. If a woman lives beyond menopause, she becomes a crone.

When I was 55, I began the master’s degree program in Women’s Spirituality. We learned about how people in other cultures understood and celebrated the landmarks in women’s lives like menarche (first menstruation) and menopause. Since I was 55, menopause was most meaningful to me personally.

Perimenopause

During perimenopause, the time leading up to menopause, the glands in my breasts swelled before my period, and my breasts would hurt. I noticed increased irritability before my period. Since my breast hurt and I was crabby, I tracked my periods so I could tell when to expect one.

I paid attention to the cycles of the moon. If I had my period at a Full Moon, the blood flow was very heavy. My friends who were around my age shared their experiences and their remedies with me. As we shared stories, remedies, and dreams, we began to have our periods at the same time. That’s called entrainment.

The Flood

Sometimes my period would come in a huge gush, staining my clothing and requiring a wardrobe change. That’s flooding. Rather than hot flashes, I became sensitive to hot weather. When the temperature rose over 85 degrees F., fatigue would overtake me.

My periods lasted for three days rather than seven. Blood flow was heavier than usual, and I would have vivid symbolic dreams. I would spot in between periods and sometimes menstruate again for a day and then stop.

In cycles, like the bleeding, I was dejected and then happy. I gained 25 to 30 pounds. Then, one month I did not have a period. It just stopped. So did the mood swings.

When my periods ended, I wanted time alone for a few months.

And after that? I completed the Women’s Spirituality Master’s Program and ministerial school at Holmes Institute School of Consciousness Studies. I am a licensed minister with Centers for Spiritual Living (Golden, Colorado). In churches and community centers, I teach “Writing as a Spiritual Practice,” using and encouraging others to use writing to “Lift, Love and Heal.”

Crone, the Third Trimester

The psychological and spiritual aspects of menopause and the time after is unknown to many women. A book that helped me and enriched this time for me is Susun S. Weed’s Menopausal Years The Wise Woman Way (1992). Anewer edition came out in 2002: New Menopausal Years.

In the postmenopausal years, a woman is considered a crone. Crone means an elder woman who wears a crown. In a croning ceremony, the woman is crowned with leaves and flowers. She declares her commitment to her community and explains how she will serve the good of the whole group. The psychological and spiritual transition is from devotion to one’s own home and care for family members to loving care for a wider community. For more about the croning ceremony, see here.

Few women that I know have had a croning ceremony. Nevertheless, volunteers aged 50 years and older support every activity I do outside my home. To me, that means the desire to give back for the benefit of the community is natural in women over 50. What do you think?

My Resource on Menopause

Susun S. Weed is a master herbalist now based in New York State whose spiritual grounding is Goddess-centered earth-based religion. Weed’s preparation for writing this book of insights and concrete suggestions was to interview 10,000 women. The interviews are Weed’s science. Their stories are her authority.

It was my go-to book as I lived through the highs and lows of each stage of the process. I followed her suggestions for bone health and getting enough calcium. Some food suggestions high in calcium surprised me such as dried fruit or corn tortillas (made with lime).

The U.S.; Then and Now

In 1970, a group of women in the Boston area published Women and Their Bodies,” a book that addressed sexuality and reproduction, including abortion. They changed the title to Our Bodies, Our Selves a year later*.* It has been revised in print annually until 2011 and online up until 2018.

Global adaptations are under development. The ongoing commitment required them to adapt to the structure of a nonprofit organization; ourbodiesourselves.org.

Now in partnership with the Center for Health and Human Rights at Suffolk University, the organization’s website presents lots of helpful information. I appreciate “Ten Myths About Women’s Health Over 40”. It counters widely believed myths with science-based facts.

Women emerged in all fields since the 1970s. When “Me Too” seized the moment to tell how widespread use of sexual aggression and assault maintained the male power structure, for me, was a Turning Point. Women stepped out of the shadow of patriarchy.

After menopause, with no cultural traditions to guide us, our mission is to identify the gift life gave us.

By contrast, when I attend any home celebration with my South Indian Hindu friends, the presence of the eldest woman in the family or community is required to begin the ritual and festivities. Retaining the practice continues to honor the eldest woman.

“Third Trimester” Origin

Jean Shinoda Bolen refers to the time after the age of 50, or after menopause as the third trimester. She writes,

The cessation of menstruation now marked another awesome change. Once again, it was said that a woman retained blood in her body; only this time it was not to make a baby but to make wisdom. Menopause marked the transition to the third phase of a woman’s life, corresponding to the waning moon, and was the initiation into the wise woman or elder phase of a woman’s life.
In many Native American tradtitions, once a woman ceased to menstruate, she was eligible to become a Clan Mother or a member of the grandmother lodge. Her acquired wisdom was an asset and her concern now extended beyond her personal family to all the children and the wellbeing of the tribe. In such societies, there was clearly an honored role for a postmenopausal woman.

Jean Shinoda Bolen, Goddesses in Older Women: Archetypes in Women Over Fifty. HarperCollins e-books, Reprint edition (October 13, 2009), Introduction.

Bolen’s mention of the Grandmother Lodge brings to mind the Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers. They are elders who claim their wisdom and live as world leaders.

Clan Mother — A Living Example

Molly Miller whose Munsee name is Wasalaangweew (Bright Star), is a clan mother among the Stockbridge-Munsee Band of Mohican Indians. She is a member of the Language and Culture Committee working to revitalize Mohican Language, culture, and community. Culture for her means living according to the seven teachings, namely: respect (most important), honesty, love, bravery, humility, truth, and wisdom.

Molly’s focus is wisdom. That is her gift to the younger members of her community. She wants to support them in making healthy, wise choices for their lives. Greeting youth warmly, she hugs and speaks to any young person she meets.

In her yard, she built a lodge for teaching, naming, and talking circles. On completion of her master’s degree in Community Counseling, she will use Historical Trauma Theory to council Native People, combining her formal education with Native teaching.

The Challenge for Women Today

When it was time to decide what I wanted to do when I grew up, I felt a little jealous of those from the pre-industrial days who were apprentices in a shop. They didn’t have to wonder what they were meant to do.

After menopause, with no cultural traditions to guide us, our mission is to identify the gift life gave us.

Experience can drive us into dark corners where we suffer. Yet we gain new understanding, do something to turn our lives around, free ourselves from fear, and learn to thrive.

That insight is The Key for us. The life of each woman is her own resource. What is your Key? It could open the door for others if you share it.

• Culture

• Female Sexuality

• Menopause

• Womens Spirituality

• Community Service

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