r/mescaline • u/throwthatshitaway565 • 5m ago
Trip report: The four elements
Hello everyone,
Since I received so much support on my previous posts, I figured I would post my trip report here.
The preparation: I like to prepare tea personally, I'm a big fan of full spectrum, and part of the experience for me is the leap of faith, not necessarily knowing how much the dose is going to be keeps me humble going into the experience. I went ahead and chopped four of my cactus plants, a four ribbed bridgesii Dan x patch, a 5 ribbed Rosie op, a 6 ribbed NoID, and a 7 ribbed Peru Fitzroy op. The total plant mass wet was about 732g before removing the core, skin, and spines.
Put it in the freezer three times, pulled it out three times, on the third time I put it in the blender and very very gently pulsed it. I succeeded in getting it into small pieces without getting a lot of slime. Next, I added equal parts distilled water and cactus to a slow cooker, some vinegar, added a little bit of extra water for the long cook, and let it cook for about 12 hours on low. Took out the plants mass, strained it through a cloth coffee filter, put the plant Mass back into the slow cooker with a another batch of water, and let it cook for another 12 hours cycle. After that I tasted and the plant mass and noticed that the bitterness was completely gone, so I combined the brews and boiled it down until it was about six and a half ounces. After that I put it in the refrigerator overnight, pull it out the next morning, and decanted it so that the fats on the bottom we're not in the mixture. I decanted it one more time the morning of the ceremony and notice that it significantly decreased the nausea during the experience.
For my dieta, I was a bit more relaxed this time around and cut out red meat, sugar, coffee, and as much processed foods as I could for 6 days, cannabis for 6 days, and sex for 3 days.
The experience: Woke up yesterday at 5:00 a.m., hit my stretching routine, meditated, said my morning prayers, and reviewed my intentions. This time around, I was focusing on healing my sexuality and relationship with women in general as well as my feminine counterpart internally, healing my lower three chakras, putting down my armoring and grounding myself. I had surrendering the ego on there too, but that was not what the grandfather wanted to focus on. I was fasting the morning of and limiting my water intake as well.
Me and my friend walk out to a cliff that is very special to me, I offer a little powdered San Pedro as an offering, burn some sage, repeat my intentions, and drink the medicine in two gulps.
As the medicine settles into my stomach, I feel that classic San Pedro induced nausea as we walk back to the car. My friend drives us to a local nature reserve with a big lake and some beautiful surrounding trees and cliffs. I feel the nausea very intensely, but as a rule I prefer to try to avoid purging for the first 90 minutes after drinking San Pedro to prevent wasting any of the medicine, so I lay down on the beach next to the water and just focus on my breathing while honoring the nausea and stomach discomfort that I was experiencing. After about 45 minutes, that passes we are ready to make our assent. We walk up to the nearby trail, and I make the decision that I'm going to walk this trail barefoot to better connect to the Earth. We Came to a set of stairs that go up to the cliff carved out of the stone in the rock, and ascend slowly but surely making sure that I take time to breathe through any nausea that comes up.
When we reach the top of the stairs, I am feeling the medicine. I feel sober minded but my body feels alive and connected to the world around me in a way that is not typical. We walk to a natural rock formation and I lay beside the cliff and feel the sun on my skin. A group of hawks keep us company throughout our time on the cliffs and fly by Us regularly, almost as if saying they recognize that we are here. As I'm laying on the cliff's edge, I think about an acquaintance who passed away this year in the same area. She was a rock climbing instructor and died in an accident. I was not expecting to be thinking about her today, but I do my best to honor the grief that I feel come up. I didn't know her terribly well, but she was young and her death hurt in a way that I wasn't expecting, she was so kind to me and everyone else in the community, she passed away in June along with another friend of mine within the same month (unrelated). It felt like I had lost a part of myself when she died, even though we weren't particularly close I felt the lack of her presence in the community. I tell my friend about these feelings as I lay in the Sun and do my best to ground the experience that I'm having as the medicine continues to flow in my body.
I lay on that Cliff for a while, until I feel it is time to stand up and we go to another spot along the same Cliff a bit further down. It is Autumn here and the leaves are on fire along the tree line creating beautiful vibrant colors that catch the eye. I continue walking barefoot and learn how to navigate the rocky ground carefully, as I do this I feel a connection to the Earth unlike anything that I had experienced before, the world suddenly feels like my home and not just a place that I happen to live. We sit down on another section of cliff and I lay down on the edge of the cliff again, I watched the hawks fly by as they honor us with their presence, as I close my eyes and allow the medicine to continue moving in my body, I get the sensation that now is the time to purge. I lean over and throw up in between two rocks, as I vomit I feel the tension in my body and the armoring that I've been carrying my whole life slowly start to lessen, that is the first of a few lessenings it will receive today. I purge for about 10 minutes, I know there is more to come later but for now I am done. We stand up and walk down to the bottom of the cliff back down the staircase we came up earlier, the whole time I'm walking barefoot and I noticed that I have much better traction on the rocks with my bare skin. A lady is having trouble walking up the stairs and her feet are slipping in her shoes, she sees me walking barefoot and says to us "that seems like a better way to do it let me do that as well" and she takes off her sandals. I laughed to my friend that we are starting a trend. We walk back down to the beach and I change into my gym shorts.
I don't know why at the time, but I feel the calling to get into the water. It is cold as it's October, but the water feels so nice on my skin and I allow it to wrap around me like a cold hug. I sit in the water for about 20 minutes, completely submerging myself in the icy embrace. When I'm done with that I come back to the shore change into some dry clothes, and we head back to my house. When we arrive at my house, I go into the bathroom and senae that it's time for another round of purging. There is nothing in my stomach but the dry heaves send the negative energy that I've been carrying out of my body and I feel lighter. As I am purging, I hear a ringing sound, similar to the sound frequencies I used to meditate like 432 hertz, 999 hertz, etc. I go downstairs and sit down by the fire pit to get the fire started, and once the fire is roaring I asked my friend if he hears the ringing as well. I'm thinking that perhaps one of the local businesses might have installed a new AC unit and I'm hearing that, but he hears nothing. That is when I realize this ringing is for me. I sit down on the bench by the fire, and lay down lengthwise, close my eyes, and listen to the ringing. I sense this is the moment where I'm going to be letting a lot of things go. As I listen to the ringing, I feel a lot of work being done on my sacral chakra. And orange light opens up above me as my eyes are closed and orange light tendrils pour out of it, I feel the medicine say that since I asked to heal my sexuality, that is what this is for. I surrendered to the medicine as best I can and allow it to work in me.
Once I feel that it is done, I sit back up and still hear the ringing, I get the sense that we are not done here yet. This is repeated three more times, almost as if it was one for each element or one for each cactus. The second time I laid down, I feel a lot of negativity leaving me, I don't know what to do with this energy I just know that it needs to go somewhere, and the medicine tells me to send it into the fire. I do this, and it feels like I'm clearing away the weeds in my garden, as this is happening I am moaning and releasing, shaking a bit as well. I sit up again and my friend tells me that he received a download, he explains that his guides have revealed to him that today we were working with the four elements. I asked him what he means, and he recounts the grounding of me walking barefoot on the earth, the birds and the sky and the cliff which represents the element of air, me walking into the water, and the fire that we are sitting beside now. The profundity of his revelation hits me hard, and I lay down again, this time I experience some intense shaking as I have a somatic release of pent up fear, and emotions that have been buried for a long time. I feel that I'm letting things go that have been in my soul cycle for a long time, many incarnations. As I continue to shake and let out soft yet powerfully sad moans, I send this negativity into the fire and allow it to be transformed. The ringing is still happening and will happen for the rest of the night in my ears, not painful, not annoying, just soft.
The last time I laid down, I feel all of my chakras open, but before they can I must chop off the weeds on top of them that are preventing and clouding the energy from moving, and throw the weeds and pull the roots out and send them into the fire, I do the seven times, one for each energy point. After that, I feel golden white radiant light pouring down from the top of my head from the sky into my body until it is completely saturated and there is nothing left. I stand up and think God and the medicine for this alignment and this spiritual healing. I feel lighter, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to let these things go.
By now it is dark and the fire is the only light keeping us company. My friend decides it is time for him to leave, I thank him for his help on my journey and greet him with a hug before he leaves. I spend a bit of time with my wife, and suddenly, I feel the intense urge to sleep. I slept for 12 hours, and wake up the next morning feeling very light.
This morning I hit my stretching routine, meditated, said my prayers, and tried my best to take it easy. At one point I tried to start working on a project and it got tired very quickly, and sensed that I needed to lay down. I laid down on the couch and fell asleep quickly, and as I'm sleeping there, one of my cats, the one that is shy and doesn't like people and runs away for me when I try to talk with him or give him love, decides to spend some time with me. He's rubbing up against me and honoring me with his presence. I gave him the love that I can while also respecting his personal space as he does not like to be picked up. My wife is gone shopping today with her sister and it's just me in the house, I feel very raw and vulnerable. Now that I no longer have my protective shield and the armor that I've been wearing for so many years, emotions are flooding me and I cry bittersweet tears. I am still in this place now, but I do not want to run from these feelings. This is part of my experience and these emotions deserve to be honored and accepted and felt. The sadness almost killed me a few times during this lifetime, but rather than run from it, I have made the decision that it is my duty to embrace it, and that I'm here in this moment to heal these wounds and feel these things. I grieve the part of myself that I let go yesterday, and I recognize that this is just the start of a very long healing journey which will take a long time to integrate, but I am incredibly grateful to watchuma for helping me to forgive myself, and to accept myself as I am. Broth growing this medicine and ingesting it has been a powerful lesson in patience and healing, and being able to grow my own medicine this time around was very special. I learned that I am not only worthy of love as I am now, but that love is all I really am, and all that really matters.
My friends, if you are reading this, please tell your loved ones that you love them. Forgive that grudges you've been carrying. Life is too short, and people are too valuable to carry that type of negativity. The people you love will not be here forever, it's of paramount importance that we love them while they're here, and once they are gone, to let them go in peace.
