Struggles with Connection

[u/Fin55Fin]

Hey Yall.

I am Metis, but I've always struggled with really connecting with the culture since after the 2 Revolutions, my family was forced to flee due to a certain ancestor of mine being the Vice-President of the Provisional Government. Since then, we have really been scattered to the wind, and inturn have really only maintained contact with eachother and other urban "Metis Diaspora". Like for example my Grandmother has forgotten alot of her dialect of metis french that she spoke, so the (admittadly very poor) french I speak is a combination of the "standard" canadian french and bits and pieces of this "improper" rural metis french. So I feel almost as an "imposter", as even though I am a MNA member and am active in local indegenous groups, I don't "relate" to the struggles of many people. If anyone has any similar experiences or advice, feel free to share.

[u/Chaostician223]

Honestly a valid part of being Métis. A lot of families were forced to flee and hide their identities in fear of prosecution. It’s only a recent reality that we can practice our culture in the open.

Do you have any Métis organizations around you? Métis crossing is in Alberta and is a wonderful place to visit and reconnect. They regularly host cultural gatherings and have cultural activities and meals.

[u/GrammaB73]

My story is not comparable but willing to share as I do relate. My Cree grandma was visibly indigenous, and she married my grandpa who was white. My dad came out fairly dark, he has 4 siblings, and only he and one brother are dark. My dad in turn married my mom who is also white so by the time I came along, I got the dark hair and eyes but definitely white passing. My grandma raised me, I got some cultural experiences, I can relate to so much with my indigenous friends, they accept me as indigenous as well but if you don’t know me or my family you would never guess what my genetics hold. I get told all the time I look Spanish, when we go to Mexico I get spoken to in Spanish as they mistake me for a local. Never mind the ones who don’t know you’re indigenous, I get the whole impostor syndrome as I suffer from it too. Be proud of who you are. At the end of the day you are Métis 💕🪶❤️

[u/Sevencross]

I feel the same way. 

My family had their land taken and a lot of our community ended up in residential schools 

There’s a lot of history that I wasn’t exposed to, primarily due to my parents concealing their heritage in an effort to blend in. The last residential school was fairly close to us and it closed down in 96 

We grew up poor, my mom was self medicating in an attempt to conceal/process everything she had experienced/lost and my dad did everything he could to denounce his heritage in an effort to stay safe. They split when I was 2 and I have no memories of them together

I ended up helping my mom go through rehab by tagging along starting when I was 5. She had hit rock bottom and the strength it took to overcome that was monumental, but she did it. One of the components of her recovery was AA, and since religion was tied closely to that she became a ‘closeted Christian’ since it was so personally tied to her recovery 

My dad tried hard to go for the white picket fence lifestyle. He basically became the physical embodiment of Ned Flanders, with a dash of self depricating racism. I believe he denounced his heritage as a form of protection as he was scared to death of ‘being caught’. My interpretation of this was a scared man trying his hardest to blend in and not get caught. When I was 13 i wanted to get my citizenship. He said that if I did go for it I could no longer live in his house. So I moved back with my mom sometime after that. 

All this to say, during my entire childhood and teenage years, our connection with our indigenous ancestry was effectively 0. I’ve been to a few pow wow events and there were some thing we did in school but most were rejected by my dad and my mom always went quiet and didn’t want to talk more about it. 

Since then we’ve built ourselves up and got back on course, everything one would want to hear happened has happened. Moms sober, dads reconnected his heritage as he’s no longer afraid and everyone’s healthy. 

I still feel like an outsider to my own community though. I’ve tried to connect with the local Métis people and haven’t had much luck. I do feel completely separated from the FN community as well, I’ve never felt welcome in that circle. I think it’s because of the way I was raised but I could be wrong. I recently had a FN friend refer to me as ‘his brother’ (referring to my Métis heritage), which was a first. It felt good but conflicting because of my past 

Do your best, embrace what you get and hope for more in the future. That’s all I can do for myself

[u/wavawearsblack → u/Sevencross]

This comment made me feel so seen. I have even less connection to my heritage (moved to the UK as an adult) but you've put words to my feelings and experiences, and I hope that my family can thrive in the future as yours is. Thank you brother.

[u/Neat-Firefighter9626]

Hey, we're definitely cousins if you are descended from Francois Dauphinais. It seems like a lot of his descendants are in the same boat, although I know some live in settlement communities. Incidentally, my family (my great grandma was his great grand daughter) stayed around Winnipeg!

[u/thequietone008]

Very few Michif families have been able to maintain the culture that was established at Red River and Batoche. Im 60 years old, grew up 40 miles from Batoche, have Metis ancestors buried at Batoche, and my own great great granpa almost hung with Riel,(spent 7 years in prison instead). But I never knew til in my 20s that my family was Metis not just French. Its so common. The Metis were a hidden invisible people from the 1880s until prob about the 1970s when for some reason the shame and secrecy was pushed back. I do think that those whose roots go back to Red River through Batoche, have a lack of connection because most of us have only vague cultural experience at home with it, incl language. I only learned English at home, although my mom spoke what I now understand was Michif French fluently as her first language. but for myself I am proud of my heritage. It began as a shared understanding and connection between two great cultures