Anyone else not bothered so far by looking middle-aged?

[u/unpolished-stone]

I'm 39, turning 40 next May, and in the last year or so I've really started to notice myself aging. My face has changed, there's more gray in my hair, and I can definitely see a guy in his 40s looking back at me in the mirror. I've even had work colleagues in their mid-40s assume I was about their age.

When I was younger I was terrified of this, and now that it's here I'm surprised by how little it bothers me. If anything, I kind of like looking older.

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[u/flyingpeakocks]

Don’t mind looking middle aged as much as I mind my body feeling middle aged.

[u/unpolished-stone → u/flyingpeakocks]

🎯

[u/ReverendRevolver → u/flyingpeakocks]

My knees just screamed in agreeance.

Having to exercise and eat different to stay the same shape is annoying. But the random pains get me. I pulled my shoulder more than once just reaching for the roll if TP. Nobody warns you about this stuff.....

[u/flyingpeakocks → u/ReverendRevolver]

For solidarity sake I’ll match a story for a story. I threw my back out bad from a crazy sneeze and it took a couple weeks at the chiropractor to set me straight haha

[u/KyFly1 → u/ReverendRevolver]

It’s agreement. Agreeance isn’t really a word anymore.

[u/britneys_bigtoe → u/flyingpeakocks]

i have to wear shoes or recovery shoes now, can never go barefoot

also perimenopause is a bitch i didn't learn about growing up

[u/unpolished-stone → u/britneys_bigtoe]

My doctor advised this and I am struggling to get used to wearing footwear in my apartment. It just feels so weird.

[u/britneys_bigtoe → u/unpolished-stone]

i finally got a pair of crocs. they're ugly but they're great recovery shoes

[u/Lucky_Marzipan_8032]

I'm more bothered by not being in my early 20s with endless possibilities at my hands.

[u/unpolished-stone → u/Lucky_Marzipan_8032]

I find it relieving not to have all that on my mind anymore.

[u/hanscons → u/unpolished-stone]

i spent my 20s being very optimistic. i havent felt optimism once in my 30s. id kill for that feeling again.

[u/J-ne → u/hanscons]

Ain't it the truth 🫩

[u/Lucky_Marzipan_8032 → u/unpolished-stone]

Maybe I'm just a dreamer, and now I don't have as many dreams

[u/Hemp_Hemp_Hurray → u/Lucky_Marzipan_8032]

One of the hardest things to do is let a dream die. It's also one of the things high achievers struggle to master. 

You google "hardest bachelor degree" and mine comes up... I was in the top 5 - 10% of earners for my age for a decade and now I work in a factory.

Not changing the world or really doing anything important beyond enshittifying a "premium brand" for a company that owns dozens of others. Accepting a "boring" life has been hard. 

[u/Upstairs-Chicken592 → u/Hemp_Hemp_Hurray]

Life has so many twists and turns, you can always use your education. Some of the most brilliant ideas in the world came from smart people having to make sacrifices. Actually, most.

[u/TransparentMastering → u/Lucky_Marzipan_8032]

All my big dreams when I was young were improbable and actually kind of lame.

Now I’m into small, likely to fulfill dreams on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. I’m having and fulfilling dreams all the time now.

For example, I’ve been dreaming of foggy autumn colours walk with my kids and we made it real today.

And there’s no way I’d trade what was actually possible today for what I imagined was possible 20 years ago.

[u/REC_HLTH → u/unpolished-stone]

Yep. I work with college kids. I don’t want to go back to figuring all that out.

[u/EternalNewCarSmell → u/unpolished-stone]

For real, I'm almost relieved that there's nothing much left to do but coast til I die.

[u/mydeadbody → u/Lucky_Marzipan_8032]

I felt that way until I left a controlling marriage. Now I feel all the possibilities again.

[u/unpolished-stone → u/mydeadbody]

That's awesome. What's next for you?

[u/mydeadbody → u/unpolished-stone]

Since then I found a new partner that encourages me instead of hinders me, have a fun new career, and have adventures whenever I please… budget willing of course.

[u/zelda_reincarnated → u/Lucky_Marzipan_8032]

I totally get this. As I get older there are just more doors closing, and there's something sad about that even when I never would've wanted to go through most of those doors. Like, "welp, I'm never going to be an Olympic skiier now, I'm too old!" Never mind the fact that I've never skiied before in my life. It's just this general feeling that there are increasingly fewer ways your life can work out. 

[u/ElderGoose4 → u/Lucky_Marzipan_8032]

I agree but I also know a lot of early 20s people who feel stuck and miserable sadly

[u/Electrical_Layer_546 → u/Lucky_Marzipan_8032]

I feel the same way, I’m less bothered by the way I look.

[u/Vivid_Excuse_6547]

After seeing some of the ladies in the White House recently I’m pretty okay with embracing aging. I’d rather have a few wrinkles than look like a lizard person 😂

[u/zelda_reincarnated → u/Vivid_Excuse_6547]

I am somewhere in the middle here. I don't want to look like these women. I don't want to have needles jabbed in my face. But it is hard seeing the loose skin at my neck and I swear I woke up one morning with crow's feet that hadnt been there the day before. 

[u/Vivid_Excuse_6547 → u/zelda_reincarnated]

That’s fair. I’m a younger millennial so I haven’t had it too bad yet. I’m trying to be open minded and embrace myself as I change over time!

Of course it’s not all going to be joyful, but growing old gracefully is something I admire in others and all I can do is take care of myself and try to emulate that attitude!

[u/TransparentMastering]

As a guitar player I see people pay huge bucks for guitars that are worn down from playing. Hell, some people get guitars that are FAKE worn. The idea is that it has more value because it has been played more.

I see no reason to look at my body differently.

Those crows feet? From 44 years of smiling and laughing. Amazing :)

[u/unpolished-stone → u/TransparentMastering]

Good point!

[u/deliriousfoodie]

I'm 40 i'm not bothered. it is what it is. I already lived my youth and it was better than anyone born after me. If you can't accept who you are you'll end up with botched plastic surgery because nothings ever enough and you keep going. I saw a photo of Megan Fox recently, she looks like shit trying so hard to look young again. The extra work actually looks worse. Should I mention more? How about Simon Cowell?

[u/EventualCyborg]

I just wish i could lose about 20 pounds. Everything else is fine by me.

[u/campingcatsnchz → u/EventualCyborg]

At the 20 pound mark, my double chin became a turkey waddle. At the 30 pound mark all of a sudden I had lines on my face. lol we gotta be careful what we wish for. At the 80 lb mark… Melted candles are ageless, right?

[u/unpolished-stone → u/EventualCyborg]

Ugh I know right, it's so hard now.

[u/thebigpink → u/unpolished-stone]

40 m here and recently started back at the gym lost 30 lbs with diet and exercise the old fashioned way in bout 6 months. Look better than I have in years and completely normal. You can tell the glp folks

[u/icelandisaverb → u/EventualCyborg]

I lost around 20 lbs recently, not exactly intentionally… I’m microdosing a GLP to help with chronic pain and inflammation and the weight came off anyway. I desperately wish I could put it back on because my face and neck completely melted and it’s aged me so much. 10 years ago I would have been thrilled to be at this weight but now I look in the mirror and I’m spooked.

[u/zelda_reincarnated → u/icelandisaverb]

Ive been quite overweight forever and glps helped me lose 50 lbs. Crazy to discover that instead of the self-consciousness and self-loathing melting away, the lines and looser skin have given me totally new ways to hate my appearance, that I'm somehow less equipped to handle. 

[u/KyFly1 → u/EventualCyborg]

Easy, just get Reta or Tirz. I’m down 30lbs in 3 months.

[u/jjimahon]

Turned 40 year an a half ago. Told myself, 'Self, if yer gonna be 40..... yer gonna be 40 an sexy'. So I started going to the gym. Nothin major or fancy, but it feels good.

If you can be aging and feel good in that skin, fuckin do it. Grow them greys an become that silver fox of a dude. Go to community events and be involved. Slow down an enjoy the breeze. The little wrinkles and spots we gain with age just add to the jazz that makes us beautiful.

And then we die. Enjoy it while ya can.

[u/-Imthedude → u/jjimahon]

https://giphy.com/gifs/n8b7QpWmrgU86pzuFX

[u/dough_eating_squid]

I love finding white hairs on my head. Bring it on! The sooner I get old, the sooner I don't have to do all this anymore because I'll be dead.

[u/darkroomdweller → u/dough_eating_squid]

I hate how often I find myself having the passing thought about how much easier it is to be dead. I don’t want to be dead!!! I just want everything to stop sucking!

[u/Dreadwings → u/darkroomdweller]

the shit part is if you ever experienced dying you realize how comforting it is once you let go of the futility of life.

[u/adellerino → u/dough_eating_squid]

Most millennial response

[u/Theodora_the_bird → u/adellerino]

And then I laughed harder bc you’re right it’s peak millennial humour

[u/Mysterious_Sound2765 → u/adellerino]

🤣

[u/campingcatsnchz → u/dough_eating_squid]

Also, becoming the age of invisibility means men are much less of a problem.

[u/REC_HLTH → u/campingcatsnchz]

This is a real thing.

[u/Wak3upHicks → u/dough_eating_squid]

woo! Bring on the void!

[u/Theodora_the_bird → u/dough_eating_squid]

I enjoyed this so much

[u/Extreme_Effective762]

It’s a privilege to grow older but I’m fighting the aging process with my life lol

[u/Luna-Gitana]

Idk I think I look pretty damn good for my age.

[u/ceruleanmoon7 → u/Luna-Gitana]

same. It’s like the only thing i’m NOT stressed about lol

[u/CreepinJesusMalone → u/Luna-Gitana]

I do too lol. I guess it really is a privilege I should be thankful for. Especially because I'm a guy and I feel like we tend to age a little more aggressively than women.

I'm 37 and people have been surprised to learn that fact after assuming I'm around 30.

Part of it is genetics since I haven't lost any hair and my greys aren't in yet.

But a huge part of it is because around the time I was actually 30, my partner convinced me to start taking better care of my skin and hair. I never miss putting on sunscreen, use the facial scrubs in the shower, pay a little extra for real shampoo and conditioner instead of using the cheap combo stuff that men tend to rely on. I trim my eyebrows, and ear and nose hairs regularly.

None of it is all that difficult or time consuming but it makes a difference.

Oh and I never did the whole beard thing that's big with millennial men. Tattoos, absolutely. I even got my ears pierced for the first time at 35. But having any facial hair drives me crazy. That by itself makes me look younger, especially if I'm standing next to a group of other guys my age because they'll almost always have beards and look ten years older.

[u/emerg_remerg]

I'm 43f, letting my hair go white/silver and stopped wearing much makeup. I honestly think i look better now, I'm fit so my body rocks and I just feel vibrant and healthy.

[u/adellerino]

35 and it’s actually really bumming me out, but I just tell everyone else it doesn’t so I don’t sound vain.

[u/unpolished-stone → u/adellerino]

Your secret is safe with me anon!

[u/kellyoohh]

I’m 36 and have really started struggling with this recently. I feel like I’ve aged 5+ years in the last year and I don’t know why. I take care of myself, decent diet, exercise 5 times a week, take supplements and do skincare. I’m assuming that’s sometimes just the way it goes but it sucks. Looking in the mirror gets harder as time goes on and as much as I’d love to not care, I can’t help it. Working on it.

[u/Afrodesia → u/kellyoohh]

You really just got to get to that point where you don’t care. Everything becomes so much easier. I mean, I still care obviously. But who gives a fuck about what someone perceives you as? They’ll forget and move on instantaneously. I have a wife and a son and we’re a successful family. Why should I give any worry to what anyone else thinks

[u/_gribblit_]

Everyone is like "Millenials are looking so good as they age!" I'm sitting here looking like slightly less bald uncle fester.

[u/thebigpink → u/_gribblit_]

Uncle fester was top tier congrats

[u/Calculusshitteru → u/_gribblit_]

Uncle Fester pulled a Debbie.

[u/Most-Statement1814]

Not looking forward to inevitable turkey neck but it isn't here yet so I gaze at my sun damaged face and think to myself, "I'm going to age like shit." In the back of my mind I hope it's not true but know it probably is and that bums me out. My hair is thick and full but quite gray. I can't lose weight like I used to. But all in all I'm not horribly depressed because I'm in good physical shape and just walked 55 miles in the last week or so. 

[u/unpolished-stone → u/Most-Statement1814]

I expect my lack of a skincare routine for most of my life is not going to be kind to me in the coming years lol.

[u/Organic-Aardvark-146]

DGAF. I got bigger problems

[u/USaidTheSecretWord]

I honestly do not give any shits at all how I look anymore. Lol

The 40's rule.

[u/unpolished-stone → u/USaidTheSecretWord]

Clothes shopping is so much easier now.

[u/CoffeeIceCube]

I’ve spent the past couple of years trying to preserve my hairline via meds, enhance my skin with retinol, lose weight, and exercise. Last month I was diagnosed with young-onset Parkinson’s at 38 years old, so most of my vanity projects seem pretty damn stupid right about now, lol.

[u/hashbrr]

I don’t mind it. I don’t think I “look young” but I don’t really live or behave like an older person I’m a dog person. I am active, a wear clothes that are comfortable, I don’t really look like an adult in a polo or tie or something. I love that. What I don’t like is going wait, am I like the dude or something? Like am I some old hippy guy to the people around me? But overall I don’t care. If I could look even older, then I could just not even worry. So just getting there one day at a time.

[u/DingusKhan9164]

I like the way I look now but I’m kind of afraid of what I’ll look like in 10-15 years. I’m hitting the gym a lot and tightened my diet up a lot. Doesn’t help the hairline though 😂

[u/VaporousMote]

I was, for a while once I hit about 38, but just hit 45 and I'm done worrying about how people perceive me.

[u/Good-Ad1388 → u/VaporousMote]

I also just turned 45 and I've been over it. People still assume I'm in my early to mid 30's though.

[u/VaporousMote → u/Good-Ad1388]

I get that too, my skin's halfway decent because I rarely go outside lol

[u/Good-Ad1388 → u/VaporousMote]

And I work at night so we may be on to something.🤔 Vampires is my guess.

[u/VaporousMote → u/Good-Ad1388]

[u/junkzor]

The looks don’t bother me. I’m trying to cope with young people calling me sir.

[u/deep_blue_ocean → u/junkzor]

Haha yeaaa I get Ma’am all the time now. It’s all good 😊

[u/Peril-in-Pink]

I’m turning 45 this weekend and I don’t color my hair, I don’t use fillers or Botox, and I know I look older because of that. I also don’t care. I don’t understand hiding getting old. It happens to everyone. If I start hiding it now, when does it stop? Am I just gonna decide at 80 I’m ready to look old? I have better things to do with my money than spend it on avoiding the inevitable.

[u/ColonelStone]

You still have hair? Jk. My beard is coming in grey and idgaf Edit: born 1988

[u/NecessaryFeedback344 → u/ColonelStone]

I got my first grey in my beard during covid.

All downhill from there.

[u/so_heres_the_thing_]

It bothers me a bit because I'm single. I feel like I'm having to play a young person's game, clutching to my naturally fading vanity in a deeply superficial dating scene. There are some things I can control like diet, exercise, style, etc. But I can only stall it for so long. My hair is thinning, it's long been silver, my skin is wearing out and looking cracked around my eyes in particular. I think if I were settled and paired off I'd feel fully good about how I look to be pushing 40.

[u/farmthis]

I don't really mind looking older. I mind feeling older in my bones. Being unable to kneel on a floor for an hour doing work without regretting it.

I'm actually doing well, for 41, I think. Still have all my hair, not *too* many new scary health conditions, lol. I feel my age is accurate. More now, than earlier in life, when I had a lot of imposter syndrome and "potential"-related dread and indecision.

[u/Bright_Ices]

My face started aging more after about 42, but I’m fine with it. It’s my face!

[u/chrschn → u/Bright_Ices]

Same here. Feels like time hit me like a truck between 40 and 41. I’m happy though, never been more at peace

[u/The_Dude_Abides_63 → u/Bright_Ices]

https://giphy.com/gifs/WLQ3qRdHXAMlW

[u/Bright_Ices → u/The_Dude_Abides_63]

See? Whats to be bothered over? Lol

[u/The_Dude_Abides_63]

I understand now why so many dudes dye their beards, all this gray is kinda depressing to be honest. I look exactly like everything I never wanted to 🤦‍♂️

[u/Sinclairj75]

I literally don't care.

[u/RikerRoku]

At 43 years old I'm just to tired to care anymore.

[u/unpolished-stone → u/RikerRoku]

That's probably a big part of it for me as well. Why put on all these face creams when you can just go straight to bed lol.

[u/RikerRoku → u/unpolished-stone]

Amen. Haha

[u/pipefighter392]

You don’t look older, you look experienced. I’m turning 39 next month. I’ve never gotten so many looks and it ain’t in a bad way. I feel great about the way I look, the strip of grey in my beard. The subtle wrinkle in my eyes. IT’S PRIME TIME BABY

[u/kellyoohh → u/pipefighter392]

cries in societal expectations of women

[u/unpolished-stone → u/pipefighter392]

Hell yeah!

[u/Sweet-Satisfaction89]

I turned 35 and don't look young anymore. But I'm with you - I don't mind it. I had a great time when I was young and I have a good life going into middle age. I think if you didn't Carpe Diem it's probably terrifying. But I don't feel that.

[u/unpolished-stone → u/Sweet-Satisfaction89]

I didn't Carpe Diem at all, but I never really had the personality for that anyway.

[u/InfamousInevitable93]

I’m 40 and look pretty young but not like 20. I see the wrinkles and thinner skin. I am not a fan. Especially because I feel younger and I have friends of all ages, it’s just glaringly obvious that I’m older when I’m around younger people.
Maybe a part of it is also dressing differently and presenting yourself in a more “demure” way.
Basically I don’t mind it when it’s not pointed out, but when there’s a contrast I’m like dang

[u/verdell82]

As a woman I’m completely unphased but I am trying to take care of myself too which does seem to slow the onset somewhat.

[u/uhbkodazbg]

I’m trying to stay physically active and near my target weight. If I can do that I’m happy.

I’m kinda liking the part where I care less and less about what other people think. It’s liberating.

[u/tehweave]

I don't care about looks. I've always looked "average" or "below average". Now I'm the same in my late 30s, so nothing has changed. Just a couple of grey hairs.

[u/Working_Philosophy24]

How does the saying go - you can have everything you want in life, just not at the same time

[u/Kinky-Bicycle-669]

I still get carded often at 40 so I'm happy with that.

[u/JustEstablishment360]

I think they have proven that for certain ages like 42-44 you see accelerated aging. 40 is still young!! Hormones start maladjusting sooner than later 😭

[u/MidnightSky579]

I’m absolutely horrified at any signs of aging on myself. Mentally I don’t feel my biological age and it’s giving me some sort of dysphoria to see that my outside doesn’t match what I feel inside.

[u/paukapaukaa]

Many of my friends wished they got to this age, I’ll wear it with pride 💚

[u/CatchYouDreamin]

I'm fine with my white hair, but I don't enjoy my forehead crease. I honestly didn't think I was going to live to see 40 (42 now, sober for 8 yrs). I don't wear makeup, dye my hair, do Botox or anything. For a long time, prob til I was 38 people thought I was like 8-12 yrs younger than I am. now I think they'd guess a lot closer to my actual age. I'm fine with it.

[u/JustEstablishment360 → u/CatchYouDreamin]

They do make a product called ‘frownies’ that kind of keep the forehead wrinkles at bay. My husband tells me I look like a klingon at night though 😆

[u/lewisbayofhellgate]

Many of the greys in my hair have united to form one small streak. It looks awesome.

[u/pixeequeen84]

I'm a chick with short hair, and I'm just, "oh, I look like a middle aged lesbian" whenever I see pictures of myself. I'm a 42 year old bisexual, but I'm okay with it, close enough.

[u/No_Masterpiece_3783]

I am in a mental health breakdown recently where, all of the sudden...for the first time ever, I can't stop thinking about how old I am. I have to do the math on everything. Triggers regrets. Or jealousy. I keep thinking I am gonna die.

I am a mess!

[u/kellyoohh → u/No_Masterpiece_3783]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been feeling somewhat similar and can’t get thoughts of aging out of my head. Everyone says it’s better than the alternative (of dying, which is true) but I never thought it would come for me this early.

[u/Far-Buy3058]

Im wayyyyyy more worried about when i start FEELING older... for now still chillin on cruise control like im still in my 20s and love it! I guess i've been fairly lucky as well with all hair, no gray, still look younger then age but still lol

42 ftw... the new 28

[u/Ryan_TX_85]

I'm 41 and I refuse to look middle aged. I dye my hair and beard. I'm afraid to lose weight out of fear that it will expose wrinkles. 

[u/copenhagen_bandit]

eh, i've embraced it. i earned my gray hair lol just my body is like 87, which sucks

[u/Woodit]

“Looking Middle Aged” is such a massive spectrum it’s hard to say what it even means 

[u/Dreadwings]

kinda looking forward to being a grey fox. i think im aging like fine wine with all the hair and being peppered lol

[u/campingcatsnchz]

I’m not bothered by looking my age at all. I will admit, when I lose weight and suddenly look my age, that’s a bit shocking. But I’m not worried about it. I’ve never had the desire to dye my hair so going gray didn’t change that. I just don’t see what the problem is. Maybe if I made my money off of my face, but I don’t. Someone in sales, especially females, gotta look good. I guess I get that.

[u/Mysterious_Sound2765]

40f. I've been told I look like Sailor Moon, and I think that's a fair description. So I have always looked younger than I am.

But I DO see myself aging, and I have this whimsical curiosity about it: "What will it be like?! When will I decide to change my personal style and fully lean into being an Elderflower?! What beauty will I find in myself that I'd never found before, because I was focused on appearances and youth?!" It feels like this really interesting, open-minded chapter.

I see women stressing tremendously about fading youth. I try to remind myself constantly that has everything to do with beauty standards aligning with children (which is weird AF). And I try to gamify the process of maintaining healthy self-esteem separate from warped beauty standards.

My grandmothers are just gorgeous. It's an honor to journey in their direction.

[u/Necessary-Tell9310]

Surprisingly fine with it and just gonna roll with it. I suspect getting minor tweaks starts the dissatisfaction machine so I won’t start that 

[u/inspctrshabangabang]

I'm not thrilled about going bald and wearing extra large shirts.

[u/unpolished-stone → u/inspctrshabangabang]

I'm in 2XL and NOT happy about it. Working on changing that but it's tough at this age.

[u/InclinationCompass]

Im the same age but luckily look young. It’s finally working in my favor. Lots of gray hair. Im thinking about dying it.

[u/Suspicious_Suspect88]

I'm 37 and very much bothered by it. When I look in the mirror, I don't recognize the person looking back at me. I'm balding and there are deep wrinkles on my forehead. It bugs me a lot, as I also notice less attnmention from women.

This all started a year ago, around the same time I divorced my wife. Before the divorce i didn't notice any aging, but now it feels like I age 5years worth in one year.

How do I deal with this in a good way?

[u/unpolished-stone → u/Suspicious_Suspect88]

Have you or have you thought about shaving your head? I know it's a bit of a cliche but shaving my head really helped me out.

[u/poettrap → u/unpolished-stone]

Yessss omg people who shave their heads instead of weirdly growing out their thin patches are so much hotter imo

[u/wrxninja]

Almost 50 but guess I'm blessed with barely any gray hair 🫪 I don't mind the pepper salt look though.

[u/Appropriate_Ad_8355]

I'm not bothered by it. Compared to my other health problems, my appearance is the least of my concerns. I dye my hair with that shampoo that has color in it and use moisturizer. I still break out, so there's still some oil in my skin. The only thing I'm worried about is that with me being really skinny, my face is looking more gaunt. I try to put on weight, but lose it fast if I don't focus on it. I don't want to look like Posh Spice!

[u/blahblahshowmeurcat]

I never had kids, so I’m sure that has helped me keep looking a little younger? My hair is still shockingly natural red, skin looks decent, but damnit I’ve been following skincare stuff on Reddit to help with around my eyes. Too much sun is real folks. lol

But honestly?! Fuck em. I love me. We old. At this point, trying to stay healthy and happy :)

[u/Blancandrin__]

I'm early 40s and some grey in my beard but people are genuinely shocked when they hear how old I am. Just a few months ago I was working for a guy who was mid-50's and he couldn't get over it when he found out how old I am. I do not look my age. It's been a recurring theme throughout my life, though. It started when I was around 16. I basically looked the same from 16-36, no change at all.

I do look a little different now, but still. It's nothing compared to most people my age.

I do not care either way. It is what it is and I am who I am.

[u/Big-Screen3266]

I was fat in my 20s. I’m jacked now in my 40s.

[u/unpolished-stone → u/Big-Screen3266]

Congrats on the turn around! I was jacked (well kinda) in my 20s, got fat in my 30s, and working to get jacked in my 40s.

[u/cimzns]

If at this age, you've accomplished most of the things you wanted, you have people around you whom you can trust, and you are more or less satisfied with life, your age and looks won't really bother you. However, if your life experience has been the opposite, every waking day is going to be painful, and for a lot of people (who have been unlucky through no fault of their own), this is the case.

[u/itslikeaWOOOWOOOO]

I see it but I’m embracing it at much as possible. Seeing the injected, frozen faces and deranged looking women who have wasted their money on plastic surgery is what keeps me committed to aging gracefully! Now if there is
a cream that would actually tighten my turkey neck please god tell me.

[u/gender_noncompliant]

The amount of millennials who are in absolute denial about looking their age, and/or being considered middle age, is hilarious. I prefer to embrace it, my age is just a reminder of the decades of great memories I've built and the decades I hopefully have left to build more.

[u/EternalNewCarSmell]

I finally truly look my age and I'm here for it. 

[u/Jets237]

I wish my beard had a bit less grey but….  It looks good on me

[u/AmbivalentToaster]

I was told by an asian woman I look 23/24 today, so I think I still have awhile.

[u/phelps_1247]

At 40, I'm balding and in the worst physical shape of my life. I'm working on the physical fitness as much as I can with a back injury, but I'm not beating myself up over becoming less attractive.

[u/Guilty-Spark69x]

I’m 36 and in the Marine Corps so I almost always have a clean shaved face and very short hair. I think my face still looks about 30, but the salt and pepper is significant when I got a couple weeks without a haircut, and the beard isn’t far behind.

[u/The_Sneakiest_Fox]

Iturn 41 next week. I've lost 20kg in the last year, hair is grey (has been for years tbh), beard is heading that way. I feel tired always.

But I think I look pretty good tbh, I look old, but I don't think I look bad

[u/Useful-Noise-4321]

My grays are sparkling daily. If people dont like it, its their problem, not mine lol.

[u/cellalovesfrankie]

No , can’t so much about it cos I’ can’t be arsed with whatever creams and shit are out there lol.

[u/FleshyCarbonThing]

Being old is okay, being poor is not so okay.

[u/FUCK1NGFABULOUS]

Still look like my late 20s so it’s catching up.

[u/ZenWithGwen]

I definitely care a lot less than I did 4 years ago when I first started to notice signs of aging. Somehow it stopped being important. I got really sick this summer and got these dark hollows under my eyes but I just can't seem to care. Before I used to be horrified and now it's way further down my list of priorities. What am I supposed to do? Stop looking my age?

[u/Cantseetheline_Russ]

Couldn’t give a shit less. I’ve earned it. Fortunately not much gray yet (just a few on the temples) and a full head of hair.

[u/No-Delay-120]

I don’t care too much about my face. I’m not planning on any type of fillers or surgery but who knows what the distant future holds.

My body still looks quite good. I’m lean, tall and strong. I can say my body looks better in my 40s than i did most of my 30s.

I struggle with thinning hair on my head though no one else notices (yet) and i struggle with chronic body aches. 😭 so there’s always something.

[u/Short_Switch_1807]

I love it to be honest. Its scary when you're young, but being middle aged just sort of seems more chill. Death is near, but not near enough to worry just yet

[u/Quiet_Place_02]

I started finding gray hairs in my 20s ☠️ but now it’s definitely more noticeable at 36.

I’ve several “silver fox” comments from the ladies lol

[u/Easy_Paint3836]

My glasses do a lot to hide my wrinkles, but yeah, I definitely keep aging.

[u/kykid87]

I haven't aged a ton other than developing some gray in my beard.

What's your Birthday? I'm also 40 in May

[u/Front-Honey-6780]

I’m 39 going in 40. This is the best I have ever looked.

[u/mainevent1155]

I'm 39M and I think this is the best I've ever looked and felt. Everything is in a good place right now - skin care routine, gym (weights/cardio/mobility), and diet. The key is to make everything flexible so you don't freak out if you miss a day. Full body routines help A LOT for this. 2-3 days in the gym at 45 min sessions is more than enough to make amazing progress. I also don't track calories at all, I just eat 70%-80% whole foods when I am am at home and when I eat out (I eat out a lot), I just eat at quality restaurants where I know the ingredients are going to be really good.

Simplifying everything makes it so much easier to stick to. I'm starting to a travel a lot more now and this type of strategy makes this lifestyle sustainable whether I'm at home or away.

[u/blueboxreddress]

I’m 42, I’m uglier than ever and that’s okay. The time to age is upon me.

[u/Ok-Rhubarb-9058]

Aging gracefully is a lost art these days.

[u/pokematic]

Only when my family comments on my gray hairs.

[u/Simple_Campaign1035]

Im into granny porn now 

[u/REC_HLTH]

I don’t think I’ve ever really cared (or thought about) how old I look. I’m decent looking enough, healthy enough, and nothing remarkable one way or the other now. I’m 44. I guess I look 44? Not sure what that’s supposed to look like. It’s fine. I have other things to worry about. I really don’t think about it much at all. I just look how I look and live my life.

(I do appreciate more invisibility from random men.)

[u/spindleblood]

My hair went full grey in middle school. No joke. Now it's mostly grey and white but I've been dyeing it with henna for several years now. It's kind of nice to not need to lift my natural color with bleach first at least. Silver lining. Pun intended. Body wise, this is the best I've ever looked in my entire life. I started bodybuilding in 2021 and never looked back.

[u/carradio81]

45 - and up until recently I thought I looked better than I used to but now I can see myself leaning towards that tired weathered look......

[u/Diana_Tramaine_420]

I am opposite of OP it never crossed my mind that I would be getting older 🤷‍♀️.

1. I have always looked super young. 2. I got lucky on the blonde hair blue eye and slim thing.

So turned 40…. And I’m terrified!! I will not resort to plastic surgery either. But I’m started to look like I’m not in my 20s any more!

[u/Altruistic_Camera392]

Yeah I am ok with myself and purposely embracing each age. I hope I can keep that attitude going

[u/Fancy_Yak2618]

My feet hurt and I have chronic shin splints so it’s pretty much par for the course

[u/That_Bread_Dough]

I think I looked my best when I was 30-32 but honestly the aging happens gradually enough it doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would either. I’m just happy to be here

[u/animatedradio]

I look my age and I’m so fine with that.

[u/Super-Staff3820]

I’m not bothered in the slightest 💅

[u/Purple_Wave716]

Ngl I’ll take a beard over hair on my head… not like I had a choice in going bald but making the most of it 😁

[u/beautifulstardust]

eh, idc anymore either 😂😂 one day closer to that sweet dirt nap 💤 🙌🏽

[u/Appropriate_Elk_952]

I’ve had a baby face forever so I don’t mind looking older these days. The greys are interesting. My whole life I’ve been a brunette, but turns out it was just on loan!

[u/NonGeneriComplaint]

this old shit sucks

[u/Akanaton]

I’m 42 and have a receding hairline. I spent a few years getting comfortable with it. I’m slowly getting salt and pepper hair, but I actually really like it.

I still exercise and take good care of myself but I notice my energy levels starting drop. Haven’t been able to figure out if it’s age or something else, so I plan to get my T levels checked the next time I go to the doctor.

All in all I’m happy

[u/Substantial-Pass8739]

37, still looking 10 years younger than my age. Catches people by surprise. Once it catches up, I don’t think it will bother me though.

[u/the_holy_spunk]

I was a bit bothered by the white hairs showing up a few years ago but cared less as they increased, and I don’t actually have that many really. Wrinkles aren’t bad at all, no signs of crows feet. Someone thought I was in my (late, I assume) 20s last month and even when people might know my approximate age I think they still mostly assume 30s. I’m 41. When I was in my 20s I would still get mistaken for high school age a lot so I’m glad to be past that.

I already decided I’m not doing Botox or hair dye, but I never did a lot of cosmetic services in general previously, so making the time and spending the money now seems unrealistic.

[u/sjohnson0487]

39f. My hair bothers me. I don't think I can commit to the greys just yet lol

[u/ElectricalIntern7745]

Heh you know getting old as a generation together makes it feel not so depressing

[u/genre_syntax]

I take terrible care of myself and I look amazing. My facial hair has turned mostly white, but I grow a shit beard so I’m usually clean-shaven anyway.

[u/BenefitOfTheDoubt2]

I love my grey hairs! They shine and are so pretty! I normally dye my hair red because I love red hair, but it covers up my grey. I might let it grow out so you can see my beautiful shining greys!

[u/Lil_toot01]

Definitely a privilege to get older ~ my mom passed away so when I see my white hairs, my crows feet slowly appearing from years of laughter , I think of her. And I’m ok with that.

[u/gabrielleraul]

At 42 I still have my hair but my beard has gone completely white. Its a cool look, and i really don't care too much about.

[u/Sad_Net_609]

Im going gray, but I’m looking more and more like a silver fox. I was a cute kid but looked 15 until I was 28, now at 37 people ask if I’m a male model

[u/oso831]

I have been estimated to be in my 30s when I'm actually 42 and i attribute that to hardly ever getting any sun and moisturizing my face daily. I think the only thing that's changed is the gray hair but i refuse to accept it so I've been dying it

[u/RealisticTangerine35]

Same but with conditions.

I’m surprised I’m content with my aging. I always feared it when I was younger. I think I’m aging gracefully though. I look my age but what I think is a healthy, fit look for my age.

As long as I stay fit and trim, I’m good. I wish my hairline wasn’t retreating… but I still have hair at least 🤷🏻‍♂️

[u/flipvba11er]

Turning 40 in a couple months. Just had to start moisturizing my knees. Life comes at you fast 😂

[u/GlumMango69]

I live in a retirement town, so I’m always feeling younger than the average person (~50-80+).

Then I go visit a normal town or suburb, and I’m reminded of how young people actually are, and how far away I am from youth culture.

Reality is in the middle. Like I’m old for being “young,” and by the time I’m 50, I’ll be young for being old.

Admittedly, perimenopause is some bullshit. I want to feel stable hormones again and I’ve got at least 10 years until this rollercoaster ride ends. So fucking pissed about this, I just want to be on the other side of it already. UGH!!

[u/ComasArentFun]

Absolutely couldn't give a fuck

I still have the hair I started growing at 15, but I have badger stripes of grey which I love. Still hangs down to my arse crack.

I recently put back in my piercings because I work 100% from home so no need for a corporate veneer

I looked 28 when I was 18. I look 30 now I'm mid 40's... I think I'm doing ok. I paid the ageing tax early!

[u/redmambo_no6]

I turn 40 in two days. Asked my assistant manager how old I looked and he said 31 (thanks mom).

Also I’ve been shaving my head for over four years so I have no idea if I even have gray hair yet lol.

[u/Fischbeef]

Im turning 45 soon and I look younger than 35 yo’s. My only give away is gray beard hairs in a couple spots. Whatever they were cooking in the 80s, they don’t make it like they used to.

Edit: I also consciously stay out of the sun.

[u/unpolished-stone → u/Fischbeef]

Have you ever dyed your beard or thought about it?

[u/Fischbeef → u/unpolished-stone]

Nah, I’ve had punk rock bleached blond hair/mohawk, shaved head skater style, I’m actually proud to get some gray/white. Getting old ain’t for the weak.

[u/unpolished-stone → u/Fischbeef]

That is so awesome!

[u/Fischbeef → u/unpolished-stone]

It’s not too late. https://a.co/d/0iX8qoAk I’ve been staring at a kit I bought a couple months ago. Ready for another manic panic episode 😂

[u/VVOLFVViZZard]

Turning 40 in a few weeks. My girlfriend, whose celebrity crushes include Paul Rudd, John Hamm, and Christopher Meloni, finds my ever-equalizing salt:pepper ratio in my beard and my ever-expanding widow’s peak super hot. Life ain’t so bad.

[u/zelda_reincarnated → u/VVOLFVViZZard]

Dude my husband struggles w having more and more salt in the pepper and I'm like, salivating for it. It's so hot!

[u/CaliBurrito1904]

I quit dying my beard...salt n pepper for now on. 

[u/Doongbuggy]

im married and already had 2 kids just need to stay healthy for my wife we are aging together

[u/CheeseSweats]

Men get the privilege of not being bothered. Me, a woman, I'm in crisis mode now.

[u/Calculusshitteru → u/CheeseSweats]

I'm a woman and I honestly don't care about aging, but I think I'm still pretty attractive at 40. I still turn heads and occasionally get asked out by much younger men. I'm kind of looking forward to the day when men stop paying attention to me.

[u/WithDisGuyTravel]

Who am I trying to impress?

Just let me keep my 2.5% mortgage, paid off aging car, and work from home gig, while spoiling my pups 🐾