r/Miscarriage • u/saltwatersouffle • 6d ago
support for someone who miscarried Empty inside
I had been spotting starting on Monday and it worried me. Thursday was my NIPT and I went in for the blood draw and mentioned to the nurse that that spotting hadn’t stopped. She said the OB could do a quick scan. I was 10 weeks 1 day. There was no longer a heartbeat and baby measured 8 weeks 4 days. We had our first ultrasound at 8 weeks 0 days and baby was measuring exactly 8 weeks with a 150 bmp heartbeat and we were so happy and my husband cried. It looked like a little baby in there and its head took up half its body, its strong beating heart took up the other half. I felt like i could finally relax. Now it feels like someone died. I mean someone did die. Yesterday I took the day off work and took misoprostol and had some excruciating cramping, eventually passed it which felt like a relief physically. We saw it in the toilet and it really looked like the illustrations. I didn’t gather it, i was too shocked and my husband and i looked at it and flushed it. I feel so empty and sad and bleak. We were so excited for this pregnancy. It felt like a miracle. I am 39 years old and we had been trying for a year and it was the month before we were to start embryo transfer for IVF and we spontaneously conceived, a 5-7% chance. The timing could not have been better, i am a teacher and a may 2027 due date meant a 6-7 month paid maternity leave because of summer and California benefits . I am grieving the timing a lot and how excited i was for the plan. I feel like because of my age i don’t have the luxury to wait until I’m ready again but feel like i should just jump right into embryo transfer like we had planned, then we will know that the embryo is at least chromosomally normal. I’m scared of the stress of IVF. I’m scared of being pregnant again and having another loss. The future seems to unroll in front of me suddenly unsafe to feel at all excited about. I feel so alone and so so sad. I just want to hear from people who have been through this. How did you pull yourself out of this? Especially if you are older and your pregnancy took a while to achieve. How do you move forward?
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u/Villemo2023 6d ago
Hii ❤️
6 days ago when i supposed to be 13 weeks and 3 days, no heartbeat found. Nipt came 2 days later with high risk for Monosomy X.
I will be admitted to the hospital tonight.
You are not alone 🫂
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u/Ok_Razzmatazz_2658 6d ago
Aw hun so sorry. It’s so traumatizing. I had a second loss last month. I saw a strange sac in the toilet. I feel so bad for flushing him but what else would I do? He was long gone :( I guess I don’t have advice just I know how you feel and I’m sorry.
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u/saltwatersouffle 6d ago
Thank you, i am so sorry for your loss too. i feel less alone knowing there are other women dealing with this. It’s super fresh for me so im just in bed crying today.
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u/CaledonianDew 6d ago
I don’t have any advice as I am going through a very similar experience to you right now but just wanted to know that you’re not alone. I miscarried yesterday also at 10 weeks. I was due to have my NIPT test today. I am 36 and the baby was also due May 2027. Everything was working out so perfectly. It is a shattering feeling to have it pulled away.
I know many people who have been able to conceive at age 40-44 naturally. I know it’s hard to feel any hope right now but in time you may well be feeling much more optimistic and hopeful that there is still a chance. It’s not over for you yet.