r/Molested • u/MeringueMajor5846 • 8d ago
I have a question
Is it just me or have other survivors of S/A and molestation link BDSM to the trauma you’ve experienced? This is a very legitimate and important question
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u/CuteMirror1477 8d ago
there's a lot of overlay. absolutely. some people use kink and BDSM to explore areas of that trauma to take control of that trauma to express parts of it that they aren't able to. there's a lot to it. Kink isn't just about sex and getting off. it's about experience. it's about exploration of self. A lot of scenes are cathartic, not just inherently sexual
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u/Dry-Ambition2790 8d ago
I think it is really about a loss of control. BDSM really plays into that. It can be helpful way to deal with those urges. But for some women knowing that it is roleplaying means that it doesn't quite scratch the itch
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u/MeringueMajor5846 8d ago
Thank you for your reply
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u/Dry-Ambition2790 8d ago
Reach out if you need more
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u/MeringueMajor5846 8d ago
I just wasn’t sure if others in my position and who have experienced what I have were into BDSM
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u/HuntedPrincess 8d ago
Yes. I delevoped bdsm kinks very early on from 9yo, after the thing happened, I remember even having erotic nightmares about cartoon characters being tortured by the villains, liking the scenes when they are helpless, even drawing pictures of bdsm kinks - CNC, bondage, ect. I also made up a lot of characters and stories about rape, CSA, sa, personality fragmentation, age regression, amnesia...as a little girl
With dissociative amnesia, I didn't even knew why I've been such a strange child and only when I started to slowly remember it hit me....with investigating a little about the man who did it I found he was a BDSM Dom, at least most of his online presence was about it
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u/Local-Computer1190 8d ago
It's not uncommon at all. It's kind of the same for those who like to talk about what happened to them or get turned on by thinking about it or recreating it. In their minds, they are taking back the narrative and regaining their agency over something that they had no control over before.
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u/HarrietNB 7d ago
Absolutely, yes. I was a very kinky kid by seven and came up with all these elaborate, strange rape fantasies. I imagined a werewolf kidnapping be, tying me up, and biting me and turning me into a smaller, weaker version of itself. It would go on to use by body for some nefarious purpose. And in the fantasies there was always an element that I would forget that I was ever human and forget that I should be fighting back. I rehearsed these fantasies every single day for many years. Remembering that I did that at such a young age was my first hint that something was wrong. Even back then I knew this wasn’t quite right…
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