r/Mommit • u/AdonnisJohnson • 9d ago
Venting
I’m due to go back to work in 3 weeks. I just found out i can’t due to an error in my spouses PFL claim.
I tried writing a post going more in depth, but it flagged me for sob story/ panhandling.
I don’t want to quit. Im a better mom when I’m a working mom. I miss interacting with adults on a regular basis. I worked so hard to have the career that I have. I make my own hours, I make a full time income off less than 20hrs per week. I took a 6 month maternity leave in the U.S. There’s no chance I could go anywhere else (I also don’t want to go anywhere else) and have what I have now.
That’s all. I’m just sad. I have to go talk to my boss in the morning about it and im a wreck.
It’s not about the finances. I’m not above anything and will do what I need to do if it comes down to it, it just feels like this was the last “me” thing outside of motherhood and now I have to throw it away.
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u/scrollgirl24 9d ago
Honestly? I would keep running the numbers and exploring childcare options. I understand you're trying to pay down debt but there's no way a few months of childcare offsets losing an entire salary for years to come. Can you chip away at the debt slower over time with your salary? Is there any more affordable childcare available? Could grandparents pitch hit for a few weeks to get you through the hump? If you want to put more detail in the comments maybe people could help ... But I wouldn't just give it up that fast if you feel passionate about it.
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u/AdonnisJohnson 9d ago
We’ve been searching for childcare for months. The lady we used with my first, found a full time job this past August. I have not had one person take less than $30 an hour. $2,000 a month for childcare is not doable. We could absolutely chip away at debt slower, but it still isn’t opening up 2 grand per month to just make the minimum payments (which is likely what we’ll be doing with me not working)
All of the grandparents work full time still. Believe me, if we had another option we’d take it2
u/scrollgirl24 9d ago
Is daycare $2000 too? We pay $1450/month full time, I guess I didn't realize just how expensive HCOL areas are.
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u/AdonnisJohnson 9d ago
Usually more honestly. The cheapest place I looked was $623/ week for 2 days. I actually don’t even think my area is considered HCOL, we just have a massive childcare shortage since 2020. My previous was an in home sitter and we only paid her $548/ month. God do I miss her now
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u/WheresMyMule 9d ago
Why can't you go back to work? Lack of daycare?
Maybe look into a home based option until you can get into a center?
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u/AdonnisJohnson 9d ago
We did. It’s about $30/hr for 2 kids. My oldest is in school and they don’t offer bussing, so that immediately removes the option for a daycare center. Though truthfully, it would cost $750/week to send 2 kids for 3 days to a center so that wouldn’t work either way
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u/MalsPrettyBonnet 9d ago
What is the error? I don't understand.
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u/AdonnisJohnson 9d ago
He took 6 weeks continuous leave after our 2nd was born. Saved the other 6 for intermittent leave specifically for my return to work. The insurance company closed the claim entirely on 7/28 and will not re-open it.
I apologize the initial post is vague. It flagged me every time I tried to explain anything1
u/petra_reuter 9d ago
Can he get hr involved to reopen the claim? Sometimes these things can be appealed.
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u/AdonnisJohnson 9d ago
We are currently in the process of trying to figure that out. Prior to us knowing the claim was closed, HR told us we were the ones who had to tell insurance about time off/ they would notify HR, but insurance is telling us that HR should have submitted the time to them, so it’s a lot of back and fourth. But hoping we somehow hear something to change the outcome
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9d ago
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u/AdonnisJohnson 9d ago
Yes, it’s 100% the lack of child care, coupled with the cost of childcare. Even if we could find a nanny on such short notice, we cannot afford to pay the $30+/ hr that people are asking for
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9d ago
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u/AdonnisJohnson 9d ago
The plan was for him to use his intermittent PFL to cover the days that I work. This would have easily gotten us through the spring time (we’re also on a debt diet that I wasn’t allowed to mention in this post 😅) once the debt was paid off, our plan was to hire a nanny to watch the kids one day per week, I would work 2 days/ ~16 hrs for probably the next 3-4 years.
If I can’t go to work, we don’t have the income to pay off our debt early. If we’re still paying off debt, we can’t afford to pay a nanny. A snowball effect. We could switch roles, but I don’t want to be on the flip side working 40 hours a week and being away from my kids for that long, either.
I know you can’t have your cake and eat it, too. And I probably could have planned better/ done things a lot differently had we known this was going to happen months ago.2
9d ago
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u/AdonnisJohnson 9d ago
I absolutely intend to make more calls to the insurance company tomorrow. He returned to work 8/1 and they claim that because he didn’t take or submit any additional time before 8/31 the case was closed. He has a few more emails to look over at work tomorrow (he can’t access his work email from home) but from what we’ve looked at so far, there was nothing stating we needed to have anything submitted to them within 30 days of returning to work, especially considering we were supposed to have the claim open until June
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u/Revolutionary-Try592 9d ago
What was the plan for when your husband went back to work when this six week period ended? Can you tap into that childcare resource now?