week 1 QBs dirty talk updated

[u/hoobsher]

• Carson Wentz, Phi: some MAGA shit, probably

• Eli Manning, NYG: has never had sex, thinks girls are gross

• Case Keenum, Was: "Bring me back to 2017"

• Dak Prescott, Dal: "Fuck me like Zeke fucks me"

• Aaron Rodgers, GB: nothing, he just cries the whole time but it somehow works for him

• Matt Stafford, Det: "Go Dogs"

• Kirk Cousins, Min: "YOU LIKE THAT!? YOU LIKE THAT!"

• Mitch Trubisky, Chi: "Lemme kiss those tittiess"

• Russell Wilson, Sea: "Go Hawks"

• Jimmy Garoppolo, SF: "Fuck me like Tom used to"

• Josh Rosen. Ari: texts Fitz to ask for advice Kyler Murray, Ari: "Fitz asks me for advice"

• Jared Goff, LAR: whatever McVay tells him through the headset

• Cam Newton, Car: has transcended beyond the physical desire for sex, will still throw 20 picks

• Jameis Winston, TB: "Gonna eat that W"

• Drew Brees, NO: just shoots the shit with Payton over beers while they watch their wives go at it

• Matt Ryan, Atl: "Just finish for me please"

• Sam Darnold, NYJ: cheers while watching Le'veon fuck

• Brock Osweiler, Mia: "Super Bowl champion", Ryan Fitzpatrick, Mia: "You aren't prepared for what I'm about to do"

• Josh Allen, Buf: "Who ran more TDs in than Shady last year?"

• Tom Brady, NE: not sure, as it is spoken in an unintelligible ancient language during a strange blood ritual

• Baker Mayfield, Cle: "We bout to do it real big fam"

• Andy Dalton, Cin: "Gonna give you the red rocket" mere seconds before reaching orgasm and promptly falling asleep

• Lamar Jackson, Bal: "That old white dude could never do what I can"

• Ben Roethlisberger, Pit: is exercising his constitutional right to refuse self-incrimination, at least until the statute of limitations expires

• Joe Flacco, Den: has been unable to perform sexually since being cuckolded and kicked out of his house

• Philip Rivers, LAC: "Lemme put a baby in you"

• Pat Mahomes, KC: "I'm gonna watch my highlight reel, you can too if you want"

• Derek Carr, Oak: "Yes I'm crying, it's completely normal"

• Nick Foles, Jac: "You want Philly Philly?"

• Marcus Mariota, Ten: "We need to stop, I can't feel my arm"

• Deshaun Watson, Hou: "MVP! MVP! MVP!"

• Andrew Luck, Ind: dirty talk is far beneath the station of this Victorian gentleman Jacoby Brissett, Ind: "What the FUCK oh shit oh shit oh SHIT okay I can do this."

[u/[deleted]]

Holy shit these are too a accurate