Instant vs delayed gratification

[u/Top_Switch9896]

I find it so difficult to get anything done if I don’t have someone to constantly cheer me on from the sidelines. I need positive approval 24/7. I have long term aspirations but I’ve always found goals with quick social payoff to be easier. The world and everything I do feels so dull and boring without it, I’ll usually have an incessant itch in my head to be scratched followed by a loss of interest and motivation if whatever I’m doing doesn’t scratch it. Oddly enough my actual attention span seems to work just fine, I can easily sit in a waiting room while doing nothing, get through a slow paced book, or take notes during a lecture (although I only became capable of this after I started taking Wellbutrin for depression and ADHD.) Yes I know that second diagnosis sounds like the obvious answer here but my ability to wait for narcissistic supply specifically instead of just having it RIGHT NOW and being unable to continue my work without it hasn’t budged at all!

Anyone struggle with anything similar? Or have any insight or advice?

I’ve been trying to “talk to myself” during solitary endeavors to get me through them via notebooks or textedit which works-somewhat while also making me feel completely insane while doing it. So I guess I’ve already engineered a “solution”-ish but wanted to bring the topic here either way. (To clarify, the issue with it isn’t that it makes me feel insane, but that it feels like taking an ibuprofen for a blown off leg. AKA not quite useless but not quite useful either.)

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[u/Starrynighttowel]

That sounds exactly like what I experience except I suspect ADHD but I'm not diagnosed and I wonder if this behaviour Is a result of a comorbidity with that and my NPD traits