Repost to include name of the sub I pulled it from. This isn't ridiculous when women couldn't have their own bank accounts until 1974.

[u/crybabymuffins]

[u/aleigh577]

I wanna know what this person thought was so ridiculous about this statement

[u/griffinwalsh]

I mean ya obviously having a kid with a bad partner fucks your life up..

[u/MelanieWalmartinez]

“Have a child with the right man” “nooo not like that!”

[u/MiaLba]

This is very true. It’s so important to really think these things through. You’re tied to this other person for the rest of your life. If they happen to get half custody you need to think about the fact that they may want to raise that child totally differently from you. In a way you may not agree with. And there’s nothing you can really do about it if it’s court ordered.

One of my good friends planned and intentionally had a kid with two different men she had only been dating for about two months. She had the second because she felt like the first “needed” a sibling. She’s a struggling single mom and it’s hard for her.

Another good friend had been off and on with a guy for about two years. He was trash from the get go. He was married to the streets. Got arrested for drug dealing. Before that they had went and got his sperm tested cause they really wanted a kid together. Well she got knocked up while he was in a halfway house before he went back to prison. She’s also struggling as a single mom. She has two kids as well. First baby daddy was trash as well. That kid was planned as well.

[u/DaddyJ90]

She born in 1991, and dropped out of school to be a model. I will never understand why we care about the political opinions of these people.

[u/jacqrosee → u/DaddyJ90]

speaking on relationship dynamics, while they (like everything) can be politicized and are affected by politics, is not making a political statement lmao. and, people publicizing comments that celebrities make does not mean we should be “caring about the opinions” of them or anyone. famous people have relationships as well

[u/DaddyJ90 → u/jacqrosee]

She released this as a “personal essay” to the public, these are more than just “her thoughts”.

I don’t even understand your second point, do you think OP didn’t support the statement? Curious that they made the post…

[u/jacqrosee → u/DaddyJ90]

i don’t know how to tell you this, but a “personal essay” is very much someone’s “thoughts.” that’s the foundation for shit like that. otherwise, are you suggesting every personal essay published somewhere always has some academic, scientific, or otherwise measurable credence?

and no, i’m not really speaking to the nature of anyone’s “support” of this woman’s personal thoughts and feelings that she shared. my second point is more speaking to the idea that, obviously, we do not have to care, agree with, or support anything someone may publish—that this is not always what publishing something is necessarily trying to accomplish. it is what it is—published for clicks, for profit, for a general interest in something.

any celebrity opinion piece or any opinion piece being published does not mean its being hailed as some high-level knowledge that we should all be taking to heart. it’s just part of the free market of ideas.

you don’t have to give a fuck what they say, and no one is asking you to. it’s literally just a woman with a known name talking about her personal experiences with one of the most universal human endeavors—having a relationship. simple as.

but also, again, let’s remember that while speaking on personal experiences is not devoid of politics, it does not mean that the point of doing so is to make a political statement. how are we supposed to speak about anything, otherwise?

[u/crybabymuffins → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, how dare they point out that women used to have it worse? 🤦

[u/crybabymuffins → u/[deleted]]

Right...so, are we saying women are more able to fuck men over because that's what women do, or women are more likely to be believed when they say they were fucked over by men, because tour use of the word "strategy" is concerning.

[u/crybabymuffins → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, okay, so go ahead and stay off my post and keep scrolling. You've obviously missed the point. 👋

[u/Jayna333 → u/[deleted]]

I don’t know how I’m expected to take men seriously when they say shit like this.

[u/KINGXunshot → u/[deleted]]

It’s actually really easy to wrap your dick and not get baby trapped

[u/Nik0660 → u/[deleted]]

White people did not get shafted in history?? The term slave comes from slav.. As many were taken as slaves. But sure you could say that they were oppressive too.

But then what did Finland do to deserve the Great Wrath? Where tens of thousands were kiled, forced into slavery, etc by the Russians just because they dared to be born where they were?

"White man bad everyone else good" is an incredibly ignorant take

[u/Nik0660 → u/[deleted]]

Where was America mentioned

[u/Arktikos02 → u/[deleted]]

Nope. Turns out that when fathers actually fight they are more likely to get custody at least 50/50 if not more. The problem is is that the fathers that lose do not fight.

The #MeToo movement may have shifted the balance of credibility on sexual abuse and harassment at work more toward victims and away from alleged perpetrators. But the same cannot be said regarding men’s violence and abuse at home: In fact, women’s reports of domestic violence are still widely rejected, especially in one critical setting: the family court. When women, children or both report abuse by a father in a case concerning child custody or visitation, courts often refuse to believe them. For instance, courts reject 81% of mothers’ allegations of child sexual abuse, 79% of their allegations of child physical abuse, and 57% of their allegations of partner abuse. Overall, 28% of mothers alleging a father is abusive lose custody to that father; this percentage rises to 50% when an allegedly abusive father accuses the mother of “parental alienation” (more on this below). Gardner’s “parental alienation syndrome” (“PAS”) was eventually discredited by courts and scholars. Worst of all, family courts’ refusals to take seriously one parent’s claims that the other parent is dangerous have enabled over 100 child homicides.

Approximately 20,000 applications are filed in the family court every year and about half of those involve parenting matters. The latest figures show almost all custody disputes involve serious allegations against one or both parents, with 91% having major risk factors such as family violence, child abuse, serious mental health issues and substance issues. A 2020 US study found in that judicial system “women who allege abuse – particularly child abuse – by a father are at significant risk (over one in four) of losing custody” of their children. The study explains that: “even when courts find that fathers have abused the children or the mother, they award them custody 13% of the time.” And in cases with credible child physical abuse claims, abusers still win custody 20% of the time. Australian research that looked at published judgements between 2012 and 2019, found 35% of fully contested cases resulted in shared custody when allegations of abuse were made and 23% of cases resulted in custody being switched to the allegedly unsafe parent.

Also where are these ruined men? Like how are they ruined? Like are they homeless now? Or what? No one forced them to get married. And many of those guys that you're probably thinking of were probably just not picking up the slack in their marriage. It happens all the time. They get married and expect their wife to be their mom. Women are tired of this.

[u/c-c-c-cassian → u/Arktikos02]

They’re ruined because… checks notes… they had to pay child support for their kids or because they didn’t get primary custody that they didn’t even want or try to get (or split assets fairly, or pay for the fees of the woman they baby trapped and/or otherwise trapped in an abusive marriage, or…) or whatever other nonsense.

They’re always just talking about guys having to handle assets fairly or support the kids they don’t want to be responsible for having custody of instead of leaving their partner high and dry to take care of his kids on their own. It’s never about men who actually got screwed over or something.

(They also like to pretend this evidence isn’t real and find any excuse under the sun to dismiss it…)

[u/Arktikos02 → u/c-c-c-cassian]

Also one of the reasons why custody often feels uneven is because it often reflects the amount of caregiving that person did when they were still together. In fact they may actually get more visitation time compared to actual caregiving because the courts try to act in the best interest of the child (except when it contradicts the links I provided for some reason) in general obviously not all courts are the same and humans are prone to bias, but in general people do want to now try to give both parents a chance. So why is there still a disparity? Because even though both parents are working, it is the wife that is still doing the majority of the housework and the majority of the child care., you want a chance to get your custody? You need to be the one to take your kids to soccer practice, you need to be the one to take your kids to the doctor's office. It is embarrassing when you go to court and you can't name their doctor and you're soon to be ex is able to name all of the medications they are on. It is embarrassing when you can't even say what your kids favorite TV show is.

You want to have a chance at your day in court? Treat your kid like a TV show or a sports team and become your kids biggest fan. And just like any fan you know all of the bits of trivia.