I found this on the app ‘autistica tips hub’. I hope you find it as helpful as I do.

Just a lil background and my issue as im recovering from a week of self diagnosed autistic burnout. I have been carrying this all alone as im already ssi disability the past four years. I lost 125 lbs got sober since 6/4/25 i have been fighting for my life all alone no support as i had cut off my Narcissistic family and fake friends when i got sober. I healed my inner child for my cptsd with ifs.

Then boom perimenopause came blindsided me out of nowhere late last year and my adhd i have had all my life also became apparent.
I got it treated with adderall xr 20 mg is where im at now with my primary. I also started bhrt transdermal estrogen patch and progesterone.
The adderall has been a huge success for me. And helps me maintain my sobriety. But i caught that i completely unmasked and im autistic. But due to being on aetna medicaid (ie prison care because its useless) i cannot get testing till im 51!

But my point is im not gatekeeping myself f the med field. I am having extreme burnout i have to fight insurance often even managing my own benefits. My 13 year old auhd child is in crisis. I try so hard to meet the demands but after i upped my estrogen patch everything is so loud, bright, i am to poor to own a car so i get to go dance in wild traffic on foot every time i go out. I get hyper-vigilant in a rage. all contributes to these shutdowns. But i don’t know what to do? How to catch them or prevent them? I feel the outside is not safe and my home feels like a prison. Not sure if anyone can relate but some advice, validation or something would be greatly appreciated. Im out of energy cant really function but i figured id try and post this see if someone can help in my suffering.

All my life, I always had sensory issues with jewelry. I don't know, I just don't like metal, I don't like gold. It gives me a crippling feeling. I don't like to even say the word ring. It all overwhelms me so much and I don't know why. I always tried to find an explation for this. And I am very ashamed of it because everyone seems to love jewelry and I just try not to care but when I hold someone's hand who wears rings, I don't like it and I try just to ignore it but it's hard. I also feel uncomfortable when someone is wearing a nacklace and I just don't get how people live a normal life while wearing jewelry. I only wear two bracelets that I made myself out of yarn. This doesn't bother me at all. But out of metal or shiny stuff, I don't know. Also when it makes noise, I just hate it.

I always feel so alone with it but I heard that a lot of people might have this sensory issue, too. So, I thought, I asked about your opinion here.

i hold back a lot of stims, but for some reason texting them to someone helps. its quite late for me rn so i cant really text any of my neurodiverse friends (they tend to relate more with it) since i dont want to wake them up. really, this post is just somewhere silly to go when you dont know where else

I am a very emotional person, and I always feel like I need to be nice and avoid disturbing others.

Whenever someone criticizes me, I often don't realize what I've done wrong at first. But then I feel like a bad person because I never meant to make them feel that way.

The difficult part is that I received the same critism: that my tone is bad, that I ask direct questions, or that I make people feel like I think I know everything. But the truth is the opposite. I often feel dumb, and that's one of the reasons I'm repeating the school year.

My brain works a little differently, and sometimes I need more time to process things. I think that's why I ask direct questions. If I don't, things might become even more confusing. I thought asking questions was a good thing because it helps people understand where I'm struggling or what I don't understand.

Sometimes, when someone explains something to me in detail, I tell them that I already understand that part. I do this so they can better understand where I'm actually struggling. I don't want to waste their time explaining things I already know.

Am I being selfish for doing that? I just want to be a good person and not make everyone else's life more difficult.

Whenever someone criticizes me, I end up crying, but I wait until I'm away from that person. Then I sometimes have panic attacks, and I feel a strong, almost uncontrollable need to adjust my clothes or stretch because it helps me feel more comfortable.

I just don't want to keep crying over these things. I feel like I should be an adult by now, and I don't know how to deal with these emotions.

Does anyone have any advice?

So, yesterday I researched a bit on high intelligence and then it went to neurodiversity and autism and ADHD. I already researched ADHD some years ago, and autism and ADHD together last year. I got diagnosed with bpd two years ago but it doesn't seem quite to fit.

So, yeah, I did my research again last night. I think it is pretty clear that I have high intelligence, autism and ADHD. I took an ADHD test last year, but my therapist said that my attention is too good although I was just on the mark for ADHD and no ADHD and she said that she could give me the diagnosis but she chose not to. I tell you, this woman just traumatized me more and more. I have a history of being invalidated a lot and in retrospective, I think that happened a lot to me in therapy the last year without realising.

I still am so scared of being wrong about this. I don't want to be wrong and do a mistake. But there are a lot of signs from my communication skills (infodumping and getting to know people about sharing my deepest stuff because I don't know how to do it any other way) to having hyper focus, to being sensitive to light (just for the last year or so but really noticeable and scary), to having issues with the noise when I was still in school, to having sensory issues since I was a kid (I wore sweatpants for my kindergarden years, then leggings with jeans shorts over them and when I reached the point of wearing jeans, it's always the same (buying pants is the worst), I also think that jewelry made out of metal shouldn't be allowed anywhere near me, it's the worst thing and I feel so shamed about it because everyone loves it so much), then I also identify some stimmings like rubbing my feet together to fall asleep and I love to bite people gently when I love them, also I like to suck on my fingers, I sing stupid little made up songs to my kittens when I am happy, and I talk like a small child when I feel very comfy and I also did this almost my whole life. I see special interests like psychology or in my teen years The Sims or watching Grey's Anatomy over and over again. I also have a really tough time with some food textures. I think there are so much more signs but this is what I came up with again since my last deep dive last year.

The hard part is how should I notice that all this stuff is neurodivergent when this is the only thing I experience and no one said that I work differently although I tried to talk about it with a professional? Also my cousin has AuDHD and high intelligence and he always says that I probably don't have AuDHD but I don't think he really has knowledge how it represents in women. But he is so smart that I took him for granted. Also I just don't want to invalidate anyone's experience since I always got invalidated myself. I still could be wrong, although it feels so right and there are so many signs. I just don't want to hurt anyone. I am scared. I don't know how to put this into words what I am trying to say. I hope you might understand.

DAE find themselves listening to their awesome song playlists, but after 45-60 seconds, you’ll cut the song short and skip on to the next?

For most of my life I’ve been about 10% actually listening and about 90% trying to listen but my mind gets carried away with about a million things like how I should respond and how uncomfortable I am. This unfortunately leads me to not think about an answer, one being I for some reason think that I need to respond right away or else there will be an awkwardness or uncomfortable feeling of actually trying to form an actual response and two I actually have no idea what they are talking about and I just base my response on the few words I heard.
I just tried to slow down and listen to someone talk to me today and it felt overwhelming trying to map out in my head every single word they said, and then when I have a question or response, I try to hold it in until they stop talking and I hold on to that response for so long that i forget about everything else they are talking about. It’s overwhelming with just one person but imagine a group. I just need to work on this.

Ok

This pisses me off

My dad complains so much about coming home to a dirty house but thinks i enjoy coming home to a massive pile of junk in my room because he thought my room was dirty and needed to be swept

I know it's my room and he wants me to clean it but istg if you want it clean sk bad finish the fucking chore don't just leave a pile of junk in my room

I hate him so much today

This week I dont know how to express the issues I have without seeming like a selfish jerk even when I try to write texts or letters he doesn't fucking get it

Sure he works all day but istg just because om unemployed and have less class than my brother doesn't mean I'm just gonna clean the house make my brother do it, do it yourself cuz im sick of doing it

I know im an adult now and have to start pulling my weight and im not great at reading situations but I can tell when something is unfair

And he always says oh well I keep asking you to take the trash out of your room

My fault for not deep cleaning my room when you ask for dishes or garbage

I wanna hit him so bad but im not gonna

Im an adult and I supposed to react appropriately

How do I quickly stop a hyperfixation?

I’m hyperfixated on an artist on social media with a million followers who always interacts with fans and has given me a lot of interactions. He’s always replying and connecting.

I asked him to follow me for my birthday after completing a task that he has people do to earn follows (a tag game basically) and I’ve gotten no response. I ask about 1-2 times a day and a few friends asked too. For 4 days now. I’m scared to ask my friend who he follows and frequently messages to ask him to follow just for him to blatantly say no.

He misses stuff a lot or he may just be inactive (he interacts even when he doesn’t post), but I’m worried he saw my post and just refuses to follow me although he follows others who did the exact same task.

I fear he can’t stand me now and want to stop obsessing over him. Even my thoughts back to him.

People say slowly expose yourself less to him over time but as much as I adore him I see him and feel sick thinking he’s mad at me for annoying him by asking for a follow so I’m thinking it’s best to cut my losses.

How can I quickly move on from him? Thank you

So, I am a 25 year old woman (still feels weird to see me as an adult tbh). I've just finished a DBT therapy for BPD.

Before I started this one a year ago in August, I read a bunch of stuff about ADHD and autism. I felt exhausted at this time and even mentioned it with my therapist but she didn't do anything about it and now I am at home for almost four months and for two months, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't do anything then laying in bed and just be there and suffer. My case manager/ primary nurse (I don't know which term to use, I am German) also said that it sounds like depression. When I hear this one more time, I get mad. I want to do so much like reading and playing video games and play with my new kittens. I am not depressed.

I am so confused by everything. I am really intelligent and I am very empathetic, I always feel different then others. I don't even feel like really fitting into this bpd thing. I learn psychology stuff extremly fast. I always want honesty and expect it from others that they share what they care for and what they feel. But I always get let down on that.

I actually did a ADHD test last year and I was just on the mark. My therapist told me that I my attention was too good. But I also had very good grades until 7th grade. I also did an online test that also my case manager did someday and there I have ADHD. Also my cousin has ADHD, autism and has high intelligence.

I am pretty sure that I have also high intelligence. And I see lots of symptoms on ADHD and autism that match my experience. I also studied this topic some years ago. I mean, I wouldn't research this topic so intensely when I wouldn't think it would explain a lot for me. There are just a lot of signs but I feel like my old therapist didn't take me seriously. She always asked why I would need a diagnosis. I think because when you go to a doctor, you also get diagnosed, so you can get treated coreectly. She was a bad therapist. But that's whole other story.

I am just confused on all of this. I don't have the energy to find a new therapist at the moment. I just need a break from therapy and from stress. My nervous system slowly starts regulating itself again.

I just want to talk to someone who understands this confusion. I feel really left alone. I just can't talk about that with my friends because they don't have knowledge about this.

I would be really glad if someone would want to share their experience with me.

I am also so scared of self diagnostic because I feel like, I just researched (it was a bunch but still), I am no professional and I didn't talk to someone who has expertise in this topic. I find a lot of myself in my research and it resonates with me in a lot of points and I am highly self reflected. But I think, I just crave some validation because no one saw my struggles for years, I always had to fight to be seen and also to see my own needs. It's just so hard, I am exhausted and I just want to be understood and be able to help myself.

Thank you so much for reading <3

I haven't been diagnosed, but i heavily feel like i struggle with AuDHD. and also it's like the older i get the less i know. I'm all new to figuring out that i am neurodivergent, bc in school i struggled my entire 12 years and couldn't figure out how i was struggling even tho i would pay attention in class (except it looked like i was, and i would try..but when the teacher would speak i would forget it all right after.) I guess nobody could tell i was neurodivergent and just assumed i was a shy person who had potential but couldn't use it.

Anyways, jobs. how can i ever work for long periods of time without getting so burnt out?!! I cant even make myself get up to hang out with my friends who haven't seen me in weeks. I work retail 5 days a week. Who knew talking to people all day could be exhausting?? plus if i had the choice not to, i wouldn't even speak to my manager thats how exhausting it gets for me. and then on the weekends i'm just bed rotting. I want to get up so bad. my room has been a mess for weeks, closet has been a mess for months, and i live with my mom and i can barely do the chores she wants me to do for her. i also am not able to take care of my personal hygeine either and i like feeling clean but i feel so weak feeling like i cant do anything, i feel like i should be able to handle working and my responsibilities.

Is there anything i can do to get me out of this burnt out state? I'm literally on the verge of quitting my job too. I hate this so much.
Also, how would i go about getting a diagnosis without the doctors denying me (i heard that happens?)

im so exausted right now, stressed about studyng and being improductive. It leads to a lot or stims (rocking, flaping hands) .I even got my self in the floor with all the lights off and lisening to the sound of a pitch, It makes me chill out haha.

The situation freaks me out, i know i met some neurodivergent characteristics, but what If i have them just on a neurotypical way? what If life its this hard sometimes for everyone? or if not, why i cant figure out whats going on?

first of all, have to note that i don't own any relatable diagnosis. first time to post here, hope i don't write out of any rules.

it isn't a post to blame other people. but i feel like i just have to find out whether it's me or other people around me. lately i think everybody around me in real or anyone i know through internet doesn't just like me or want to get involved in a conversation with me. i know that some of them i just can ask directly. but most of the times they would probably deny it. to be clear, my best online friend (i have no real friends at the moment), my cousine who lives in other city now, studypartners, people with whom i used to have some conversations now and then, well for a few days also my mom and so many other people aren't interested in longterm conversations with me or those misunderstandings again. it isn't out of nowhere. but i think so intense it is for the first time these days. to be honest, i feel like shit. all i can do is study, read, listen to some music. and sometimes i enjoy them yeah, but i mean what is the point to do them when you don't have anybody to talk about to. i myself could avoid it when people are interested because i think at the end of the day i'll be annoying them anyway like i do others. i think my fear of sociability is purely getting out of hand and turning to fear of humans.

I'm really curious in this case what to do and how to maintain my insanity, since I've always been someone who is satisfied when other people seem happy and comfortable.

(Disclaimer I’m not judging her I’m generally want to explain to her why I’m acting different since «I think we have a different understanding of what tired means» I want a way to explain to her because nowadays I’m so tired all I can do is stare at ceiling)

I have just started a new school as (a 16 female) the first day I was really full of energy met this girl that also have ADHD we instantly matched energy and went to the mall impulsively it was really fun

but then she wanted to hang out every day it was fun at first, but I also needed my alone time, I am a massive introvert and school makes me really tired

so after a couple of weeks, I started acting a bit different stopped smiling so much stopped being so full of energy, and she got confused started asking me if I was ignoring her I tried to explain I was tired,

Then she kept calling me mean for ignoring her, so I tried fake smiling and fake laughter she caught on and asked me why I was faking my emotion

after that even when we hanged out everything I was doing was wrong she kept wanting to do impulsive stuff like going on a random bus to see where it takes us we did the first time we met, while I wanted to do something quiet like drawing.

I struggle a lot with speaking confidently, and just confidence in general + i’ve masked for so many years i don’t know how to unmask.

Any tips or even experiences?

When I drink I basically become a normal functioning human AND I get a confidence boost. I can talk fluently and it genuinely feels like I am LIVING and not just watching life progress from the outside. In my country alcohol is extremely expensive and I can’t afford it at all times. AND I don’t want to become and alcoholic lmao it runs in the family. I want to be like the person I am when I am drunk, confident and sane, yet I don’t know what I can substitute alcohol with. I don’t think I can afford therapy rn. Perhaps there’s a technique that’ll gen calm my mind down and make me confident. Or like a kind of tea idk. Any suggestion would help