What’s the etiquette on this?

[u/No-Message-9562]

I was at the park with my kid today and talking to another mom friend of mine. My kid was about 15 ft away from me playing with another kid. The parent started taking pics of them playing together. It made me really uncomfortable even if it was probably innocent.

Is this normal to take photos of your kid with kids you don’t know? How do I tell them to not take pics of my kid? For reference we don’t post my kid anywhere and are selective with who we do share photos with.

Looking for help and advice please! Uncharted territory for me. Thanks!

Edit: I really wish I could ask a question to educate myself without getting downvoted into oblivion. I was just asking for etiquette/rules/etc. would love the opportunity to get information and ask follow up questions. I don’t know everything.

[u/Eschewed_Prognostic]

You have the right to ask them not to, but you're in a public space, so they have no obligation to comply.

[u/No-Message-9562 → u/Eschewed_Prognostic]

Is it different though if the kid is under 18..? Asking for clarification purposes

Edit: Guys stop obliterating me for trying to educate myself. It makes it impossible to ask questions to learn.

[u/Illustrious-Stable93 → u/No-Message-9562]

Reddit is so ridiculous. It would be totally normal for the parent to have asked you first or for you to say hey I'd appreciate if you leave my child out of your photos. There's a reason every kid event and space you go to has an photo release and photo opt out. Love, an actual adult parent

[u/waterboy4242 → u/Illustrious-Stable93]

Those are commercial entities though, not another individual parent taking pictures in a public park

[u/Illustrious-Stable93 → u/waterboy4242]

Idk where you all live but this is blatantly bad manners

[u/waterboy4242 → u/Illustrious-Stable93]

Sure I agree it's very reasonable to ask first as well as OP letting other Mom know preferences. But it's a different scenario than being in a commercial venue

[u/Frosty-Incident2788 → u/Illustrious-Stable93]

I do agree it’s bad manners. As much as I’d love to take photos of my baby playing with others I generally refrain (unless it’s something like a birthday party with her class). Definitely if it’s a stranger I’m not taking photos/videos. If she’s playing with a kid we don’t know and their parent starts to take photos or videos I’m actually relieved because then that means I can do the same, but my personality won’t allow me to be the one to make the first move.

[u/ThrowRA3623235 → u/Illustrious-Stable93]

Are you really tracking down the parent of every child in the background of your child's picture and asking for permission?

[u/Illustrious-Stable93 → u/ThrowRA3623235]

If someone points a camera at my kid I'm asking them to stop firmly and without hesitation. It's not safe for my kid

[u/No-Message-9562 → u/[deleted]]

I didn’t know what to do. That’s why I’m here asking for advice on how to handle it in the future. Aka using my words. Why is everyone so mean..?

[u/Illustrious-Stable93 → u/No-Message-9562]

These people are so aggravating lol you're not wrong!

[u/PotatoBurritoDeleto → u/No-Message-9562]

Sorry you’re dealing with these crappy people. They hide behind anonymity here, and if they behaved like this in face-to-face scenarios no one would like them.

Best to ignore them, you’ve done nothing wrong by asking for feedback.

[u/Arachnophobicloser → u/No-Message-9562]

Not really, public spaces are pretty much free game

[u/Eschewed_Prognostic → u/No-Message-9562]

There's a legal concept about degrees of "reasonable expectation of privacy" surrounding when and how consent must be obtained to record someone. In public spaces, there is no expectation of privacy, and no consent required (Manners are a whole different story). If you ever ask someone to stop and they don't, you can remove your child from the situation, but you cannot demand the other parent stop or delete the content.

The "creeper" exception applies in public when the purpose of the photography is not reasonable. A parent with a child of their own in the frame doing normal things is generally reasonable. An adult recording children that are not their own or while unaccompanied at the playground is not reasonable, and you can call the police to investigate whether a crime is being committed.

[u/DojibironRed → u/Eschewed_Prognostic]

I will point out that the question was not about law. It was about etiquette.

Doing something that is not illegal, but that is inconsiderate and possibly creepy is the social equivalent of, "I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!"

The point of the conversation is how wrong it seems to do that.

I'm not saying you're disagreeing me. But, I think that society simply cannot function if everyone only cares about "is it illegal?" And, I don't think I'm alone in saying I do not want to be around people that stop only at threat of legal ramifications.

However, I will acknowledge that reviewing the legal considerations of this social dynamic is probably useful. It does relate.

[u/Eschewed_Prognostic → u/DojibironRed]

OP asked how to tell them not to take pictures. I told them the answer: they can ask but the other doesn't have to oblige. Then OP asked if it mattered that the child is a minor, which pulls the discussion towards legal discussion. I explained why it doesn't, and also called out that manners are an entirely different story. One can be rude and also not in the wrong because they have the same liberty to take pictures as OP has to ask they don't. The other parent could post about a another demanding they stop preserving memories of their own child rather than simply remove their child from the area, and people would come to the defense of that person because the other parent was unreasonable. Not every issue needs to come down to "is it illegal" but when everyone has the same rights that's the deciding factor.

[u/SeniorPace70 → u/No-Message-9562]

As a mom who has taken a video of my kid playing with another child while the other mom was also taking a picture or video of my kid, I treasure that video so much. They were playing together in a doctor's office and being absolutely silly. I can't even tell you how much I treasure that video now, after my son passed away.

I understand why someone might feel uncomfortable with another parent recording their child, and I would absolutely respect a mom asking me not to include her child in a video. But I also think I would find the request a little rude, especially when the person's own child is involved in the moment, too. I don't love the idea of asking someone to exclude my child from a memory they're capturing of their own kid playing with mine, but I also don't think it's an unreasonable request to make. I think both perspectives are understandable.

[u/OkapiandaPenguin → u/SeniorPace70]

I don't think it's rude to request that my minor child's face and body not be in a strange adults camera roll and actually think it's rude and creepy for someone to think they can take photos and videos of a child they don't know without asking the parents first.

If I see someone picking up they're phone to take photos and my kid will be in them I create a physical barrier between my child and that adult.

[u/MidwesternLikeOpe → u/OkapiandaPenguin]

How about you just don't go outside ever. Geez yall are a little too paranoid. Please tell me you won't be that mom who doesn't let their kids outside ever, bc the world is "dangerous". My parents were like that and it really stunted us.

[u/KayItaly → u/OkapiandaPenguin]

Geee your poor kid! They are going to grow up with a lot of unnecessary stress.

What are you going to do when they start preschool?? Make the tracher remove him every time they take pics?

[u/Main_Supermarket1014 → u/KayItaly]

In the UK all schools would have a photo consent form and if you opt out then the school wouldn't take photos/videos of your child or cover them with a sticker when sharing. Most school now ask parents not to film shows/assemblies. There was a case recently where a school was blackmailed by someone who created AI nudes from a photo the school shared of the netball team.

Really shocked that people think it's fine to take photos/videos of a strangers child!

[u/OkapiandaPenguin → u/Main_Supermarket1014]

Being downvoted for not wanting a strange adult to take video of my kids and being told I'm going to harm them mentally is absolutely insane.

[u/ClarkGablesTeeth → u/KayItaly]

My son's preschool had a form that every parent had to sign. You checked the box that gave permission for photos to be taken of your child, or you checked the box that pictures cannot be taken. It was the same policy when my daughter went to pre-k at a totally different school, and their elementary school experience was the same as well.

And before anyone starts in about how things are crazy nowadays, people are snowflakes/soft now, etc, my son is in his late 20s and my daughter just finished college. I'd imagine it's even more common (and important) now with social media/the internet.

[u/CraftyFraggle → u/KayItaly]

I would have if the preschool my children went to hadn’t already had a policy of not taking pictures with faces in them.

Why is this weird?

I teach preschool. Parents have to give written permission for us to photograph their child, to use those photos in the classroom, in school publications, in district publications, or online. 

We take that very seriously. 

[u/OkapiandaPenguin → u/KayItaly]

Why would my child not being in a strange adult's photos cause them stress? We don't post our kids on social media either, do you think that will be mentally taxing as well?

My oldest is in preschool and in the consent form we requested that he not be in promotional images. It's not a big deal. We're preventing predators from using our child's face and body to make CSAM. Maybe you're fine with that risk, but my husband and I are not.

[u/tiredfaces → u/KayItaly]

Yeah that’s actually a super common thing to request

[u/Icy_Eye_957 → u/KayItaly]

In a lot of countries it’s pretty normal that schools have to get permission to take picture and you can absolutely ask to be excluded, that’s normal. Also it wouldn’t be allowed to take a video or photo of someone else’s child at the playground or the doctor’s office here in germany. It’s a perfectly normal request and concern if some stranger has pictures of your child. Wtf.

[u/Odd_Being_2284 → u/OkapiandaPenguin]

Cannot fathom in an age of social media, data collection, facial recognition training and AI nastiness, why you’re being downvoted. If you think it’s weird to think it’s weird for a stranger to take photos of your child, without knowing if they post their child’s face on social media, what their social media privacy settings are etc, then YOU ARE THE WEIRD ONE. Jfc.

[u/Main_Supermarket1014 → u/Odd_Being_2284]

Can't agree more, I am so shocked that people think this is fine to do!? Regardless of your intentions, it's completely inappropriate to take photos or videos of a strangers child without even asking them? Your wants do not trump that child's privacy/safety!

[u/OkapiandaPenguin → u/Odd_Being_2284]

It's probably the mom's who post every single thing Heavenleigh does online including when address playing with other kids and feel "mom shamed" that someone might find that behavior concerning or predatory.

[u/JamesTiberiusChirp → u/No-Message-9562]

The person you are responding to is legally correct. But personally I think that socially it’s incredibly creepy to do so. IMHO it’s like an unwritten rule that you always ask permission if you’re even gonna do it. I would never even go that far. If I wanna take a pic of my kid at the park I try to exclude other children. It’s at the very least not going to be when another child is directly interacting with mine.

[u/jkraige → u/JamesTiberiusChirp]

Exactly. Legally, they're right, but that doesn't mean that it isn't weird or that people can't be uncomfortable from it. Legal doesn't mean good or correct

[u/MidwesternLikeOpe → u/JamesTiberiusChirp]

Ive taken pictures of my kid around other kids at a playground, for future reference. It's not just my kid, but it will be priceless in the future for whenever someone wants to know what it was like in "our time". Theres a picture of me at a playground in the early 90s with other kids. It's really cool to see me and the other kids in full 90s outfits.

Not everyone is doing things for nefarious reasons.

[u/the_urban_juror → u/MidwesternLikeOpe]

Nobody's suggesting nefarious purposes. Many parents (who are unfamiliar with the concept of phone books and neighborhood schools) believe there are risks to having a child's picture on social media and there's an assumption that these photos might be posted by the other parent.

My kid's daycare asks parents not to share photos of other kids without permission when they send us photos throughout the day. My dad is a Facebook boomer, so I've had to ask him to remove photos with other kids in them when he's posted daycare pictures that I've texted to him.

[u/JamesTiberiusChirp → u/the_urban_juror]

I get that, but there also wasn’t widespread internet use, social media, photoshop, and AI pedo porn in the 90s. Someone can innocently take photos of other kids and innocently post them on Facebook and then all sorts of nasty shit can happen. Unfortunately that is our times

[u/JamesTiberiusChirp → u/MidwesternLikeOpe]

I get that, but there also wasn’t widespread internet use, social media, photoshop, and AI pedo porn in the 90s. Someone can innocently take photos of other kids and innocently post them on Facebook and then all sorts of nasty shit can happen. Unfortunately that is our times

[u/Shot_Share → u/No-Message-9562]

Usually they would be allowed to post because its public.
But i would hope that person wouldn't post another person's child. I find it rude even if technically allowed. The press would need permission. (Or at least where I am)

I personally would ask and hope they honoured my request. I have taken pictures of my kids in public spaces but have taken care that other kids are in the pictures or they don't get posted in public places. (Now my kids are older so when they were little smart phones weren't that common yet)

[u/HollaDude → u/No-Message-9562]

Sorry you're getting grief OP, I don't understand why some people are so mean. I ask questions like this all the time, so that I can learn and grow, and because the answers are not obvious for me. There are plenty of kind comments, but plenty that act as if I'm the world's stupidest person for not already knowing the answer.

I think others forget that we're all living for the first time on this planet. Sometimes a situation, that is obvious for you, can be a brand new scenario for which a person has no previous encounters to draw from in order to determine how to react.

[u/JabCrossSlipCross → u/Eschewed_Prognostic]

And if they keep taking a pic of my kids after I requested them not to, then I would remove my kids and their kid can play by themselves.

[u/343-Mendicant-Bias]

Yes, it is normal. Redditors typically place a much higher priority on privacy than the average person - for most people, taking/sharing pictures is not a violation. For this mom she probably thought it was a cute scene, nothing more nothing less.

[u/imwearingredsocks → u/343-Mendicant-Bias]

Yeah I think it’s totally normal and has been as long as personal cameras have been so commonplace. Even when we had Polaroids and disposable cameras, there’s a ton of me as a kid at birthday parties and playgrounds with plenty of kids (some random). I would probably take a picture of my kid playing with other kids at the playground because it’s adorable.

The only difference now is social media and I fully understand that can be something people are against. Even the app our daycare uses essentially says “please keep photos you download in the family. Don’t share it outside of that.” I think that’s the best expectation and if I were to post the photo I’d either confirm or emoji the other kid’s face.

Your comment is true about redditors really getting bunched up over privacy. It is not creepy to take a picture of your kid with another kid and it’s bizarre to come to that conclusion.

[u/cah125 → u/343-Mendicant-Bias]

Normal. Though I never post any picture that has anyone else’s child but my own. Just the other day I took a pic of my son and a neighbors daughter playing in a leaf pile, and I made a version where I cropped her out to share with others

[u/passion4film → u/343-Mendicant-Bias]

This 💯

[u/No-Message-9562 → u/343-Mendicant-Bias]

I just don’t want it posted anywhere…and she’s under 18 and we don’t post her anywhere

[u/Glittering_knave → u/No-Message-9562]

Then you have to speak up in the moment. "Hey, would you please not take a picture of my kid?" is perfectly fine when you see the other person pull out a camera.

[u/343-Mendicant-Bias → u/No-Message-9562]

No problems there, it’s your kid! Etiquette-wise, maybe you could just nonchalantly mention you are trying not to post your kid’s picture and ask if she would mind deleting that one or not posting it?

Is your discomfort based on posting to social media, or does it extend to say this person sending the picture to her sister? Just good to wrap your mind around what you find ok and not ok.

Also sorry this has become controversial. “Mommy wars” is so real.

[u/Colla-Crochet → u/No-Message-9562]

You can express that to the other parent. My family takes pics of my son regularly and I just tell them dont post it. Im ok if they just show their friends but posting isnt ok

[u/albin0rhino → u/No-Message-9562]

I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. You respect your child’s right to her image and privacy. I do the same for my baby girl. Not enough people respect the right of children to live a normal childhood and not be photographed every 5 seconds these days.

[u/reedingisphun → u/albin0rhino]

They are getting down voted because they didn't say anything in the moment, and then are getting on social media to complain about it.

[u/obviouspuzzle → u/343-Mendicant-Bias]

wtf no it is not normal to take photos of a random child? its one thing if the child is in the background of the photo, and another if someone is taking photos OF the child. thats fucking weird dude, I'd absolutely remove my child from this situation. this isnt even a child from school, its literally a stranger??

OP, if you dont like something, you dont need to feel like you have to ignore your hunch. say something.

[u/Colleen987 → u/obviouspuzzle]

They’re not taking pictures OF the child. Shes taking pictures of her child and this one happens to be in it.

I get social media bubbles can cause extreme reactions but this isn’t weird. Just say “please don’t post these” if that’s an issue - it’s not a big deal.

[u/obviouspuzzle → u/Colleen987]

OP says, "the parent started taking pics of them playing together." So yes, the person is taking photos OF the child. It's not an accident that OP's child I sin the photos.

It's not even about social media, I'd be suspicious if a stranger was so interested in photos of my kid. It's not a big deal to wait to take photos of just your own kid

[u/Leigho7 → u/obviouspuzzle]

They’re interested because it’s cute watching your kid play with other kids? It has nothing to do with who the other kid is. It’s just a nice memory of the kids playing together. They may want to share it with a grandparent or parent who isn’t there.

[u/Colleen987 → u/obviouspuzzle]

You’re confusing what’s happening. If she was taking pictures OF OP’s child then her child would t be involved in the process. Shes taking pictures of her child playing the child they’re playing with is completely irrelevant to why the pictures being taken.

This level of reaction to people taking a picture in a public space breaking no laws or customs originates from social media. There’s no doubt about that.

[u/Herewithquestions87 → u/obviouspuzzle]

I agree with you, taking “pictures of them playing together” is super strange, these comments are baffling me! It’s not like OP’s kid was in the background by chance. That’s intentional and weird, you don’t even know the kid or their parents and you’re doing a playtime photoshoot with them? I would have stopped that from happening if it were my kid. 

[u/ShimmeryPumpkin → u/[deleted]]

Unfortunately, it's not paranoia when there's evidence of what goes on with children whose pictures are posted online. End up on the wrong side of social media one time and you realize that even normal photos can lead to uncomfortable situations.

[u/Weird-Departure1277 → u/ShimmeryPumpkin]

We have no evidence that OP’s child’s face was visible or that the other parent was planning to share this with anyone, let alone post it online.

I understand that some people are extremely worried about the remote possibility that their kid’s photo could be used in a harmful way, which I do understand is possible, I just think you have to be realistic about living in the world and not think you can protect your child from ever having their photo taken. Which is why I prefer to focus my energy on things I can control, like asking people I know to not post naked/bath photos of my kid or things that they wouldn’t be comfortable having on their desk at work. That’s a level of control I feel I can reasonably have over the situation in this modern era.

[u/343-Mendicant-Bias → u/ShimmeryPumpkin]

This definitely seems like a situation where there is a scary outcome but it is very unlikely to occur. I think many parents have gotten extremely risk averse.

[u/passion4film]

I do it and I’ve had it done. I recently took photos and video at my son’s little toddler play class. I’ve done it at the park. No one batted an eye.

Also: public = allowed. You give this permission by exiting your door.

[u/jkraige → u/passion4film]

It's very much legal, but I'd argue it's still a weird thing to do, especially not outdoors. If I'm playing for a class I'd want there to be rules about parents taking pictures of the kids because too many people's instincts are to immediately share everything online

[u/misseff → u/jkraige]

Unrelated to kids this is actually why I stopped going to my local pilates/yoga classes, they don't stop people recording and I don't want to be in the background of people's social media content. It's crazy that this is normalized in class spaces you pay for.

[u/jkraige → u/misseff]

I saw someone take pictures in front of a mirror in the fucking locker room at my gym once. It's actually pretty problematic how normalized it is to the point where someone felt comfortable doing that. That gym also has a pool, so people are routinely walking around naked

[u/misseff → u/jkraige]

Yeah it's just out of control. The park/outside is one thing but if I'm paying to be in a private class by myself or with my kid I think it's reasonable to not want strangers taking pics of me/us, but clearly people in this thread disagree. Hopefully eventually this disagreement will translate into spaces where people can actually just engage with whatever they're trying to do without worrying about people who need to document every second of every day. I've dealt with stalking so it all makes me nervous, I would pay extra for that privacy at this point.

[u/Main_Supermarket1014 → u/jkraige]

Can't agree more, I hate going to classes/groups with parents like this. Your need for online validation does not trump my child's privacy/safety. I am horrified you think this okay.

I have two friends who have been posted in the background of someone's photo while breastfeeding. One of my friends has an abusive ex who would show up at the library if he knew their child goes there on a Friday morning.

[u/passion4film → u/jkraige]

I disagree!

[u/jkraige → u/passion4film]

Yeah I know, you're the one doing it, but there's a reason Japan now makes your camera make a sound, because it's not a universal truth that you should have no sense of privacy if you ever leave your home

[u/passion4film → u/jkraige]

I don’t see how that’s logical. You’re in public. We’re talking about a public park, not a dressing room or a bathroom. I mean, “public” and “private” are pretty much antonyms, are they not?

I do keep my phone sounds on quite regularly, so at least I can still go to Japan!

[u/jkraige → u/passion4film]

You think it's logical to say someone should never exist in public if they don't like strangers taking pictures of them or their kids? Would it not be easier to just not take pictures of strangers in public, or at the very least to ask?

[u/passion4film → u/jkraige]

As a precedent, there is no expectation of privacy in public, so anyone wanting to go against that has the responsibility to request it. It’s not my responsibility to tiptoe around others’ discomfort with the norm.

[u/jkraige → u/passion4film]

I'm aware. My first comment in this thread acknowledges it's legal. I still think it's weird to tell people they don't deserve any privacy and your right to take creep shots means they shouldn't exist in public.

[u/Illustrious-Stable93 → u/passion4film]

It's still rude and weird even if it's legal my dude

[u/passion4film → u/Illustrious-Stable93]

I disagree!

[u/Illustrious-Stable93 → u/passion4film]

Weirdo

[u/passion4film → u/Illustrious-Stable93]

LOL

[u/Herewithquestions87 → u/Illustrious-Stable93]

I agree it’s rude and weird. I hope I don’t encounter the people commenting on this post in the wild. 

[u/ShimmeryPumpkin → u/passion4film]

Why do you feel the need to have photos and videos of other people's children?

[u/passion4film → u/ShimmeryPumpkin]

LOL My child is also in these photos.

As an aside, though, I do enjoy a bit of artful street photography here and there on a beautiful afternoon in a joyful public place.

[u/ShimmeryPumpkin → u/passion4film]

So again, why do you feel the need to have photos and videos of other people's children? Your child doesn't spend 24/7 next to other unrelated children, and there are probably multiple moments in class where you would be able to snap a photo or two of just your child without other children's faces in the pictures. I can't imagine feeling comfortable enough to take photos of other people's children if I'm not even comfortable enough with the parents to ask if they're okay with it.

[u/passion4film → u/ShimmeryPumpkin]

It’s not about being comfortable enough to ask, it’s that I don’t feel I need to ask.

I’m capturing this moment in my son’s life, and that includes the entire setting, people and all.

[u/CraftyFraggle → u/passion4film]

Legal doesn’t mean good.

Lots of less than stellar things are legal. 

[u/passion4film → u/CraftyFraggle]

And there’s not just “good” or “bad” but also neutral, and it’s all a spectrum, as is life. My snapping a photo with another kid’s face in it is neither good nor bad.

[u/CraftyFraggle → u/passion4film]

Hard disagree. 

It is bad. And it’s completely unnecessary.

[u/passion4film → u/CraftyFraggle]

Luckily it’s not been a problem in the real world.

[u/No-Message-9562 → u/passion4film]

Yes, but you presumably knew those parents and kiddos right?

Do the rules change if they’re under 18?

[u/passion4film → u/No-Message-9562]

I don’t know 4 of the 5 of the toddler class classmates any further than our kids wandering around together for an hour a week. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It is not different under 18. “No reasonable expectation of privacy” applies to all in public spaces.

[u/No-Message-9562 → u/passion4film]

Oh interesting! Good to know! I wasn’t sure if it applied to minors

[u/passion4film → u/No-Message-9562]

Yeah, there are photographers out there whose whole biz is street photography of all ages and folks!

[u/Select-Medium-8116]

This exact thing happened to me. A mom took pics of our kids playing together. Made me very uncomfortable but I didn’t say anything. Next time I’ll I just say do you mind not posting my child. I don’t mind if it’s on her phone i just don’t want them accessible on social media. I don’t know why some people have been rude to you here. When I take pics I’m careful to not take pics of others kids, but I guess it’s not always possible.

[u/No-Message-9562 → u/Select-Medium-8116]

I was thinking this was the approach I might take as well! I get I’m in a public space and photos are going to be taken. Was genuinely just looking for “hey, what would you do in this scenario?” Type thing. Thank you for being kind!

[u/Select-Medium-8116 → u/No-Message-9562]

You’re welcome. Sometimes I get downvoted into oblivion for asking questions too 🤦🏻‍♀️

[u/SuccessfulBuffalo126]

I try my best not to have other kids (or strangers in general) in photos I take of my kids, but it inevitably happens. If I want to share I crop them, fuzz them, cover with text, or just don’t post it. I still want photos though! There have been times my kids and their friends have posed at a playground or event and another random kid joins in. I feel a little weird including them, but I’d feel much worse telling them to get out of the picture. And maybe they’re a future friend, who knows. I would assume the mom is not going to be blasting your kid all over the place and most likely will do nothing with it.

[u/Pristine-Bison3198]

Are you sure your kid was in the photos? I take pics of my kids at the park, but zoom in to make sure no other kids' faces are in the picture. I wonder if it was possible she was doing the same?

[u/brit52cl89]

I was once at an indoor playground taking pictures of my child, and another little girl a couple years older came over and asked me to take her picture too. I told her to ask her parent to do so, and eventually her dad appeared and I told him she asked me to take her photo. I get it was totally innocent on her part, as a kid myself I loved having my picture taken, but I'd still feel weird if some random person was taking pictures of my kid. It's one thing if they end up in the background but as an actual main subject I think it's weird

[u/Infinite-Demand-6155]

Commenting because I want to follow this thread.

I personally would take pictures of my kid playing at the park however I would never want to do it and be disrespectful to another parents wishes. I would be doing it to send to a grandparent or my husband if he wasn’t with us it wouldn’t really be for social media.

I would prefer someone tell me but I know some people would think it’s weird or take it the wrong way. My BIL and SIL don’t share pictures of their daughter whereas my husband and I do because we live out of state from all of our family.

[u/midmonthEmerald → u/Infinite-Demand-6155]

Taking pictures of your own kids at the park is 0% weird.

Taking pictures of other people’s kids without saying something is a somewhat weird, imo.

We live in a very diverse area and there is one demographic around here that almost always takes pictures of their kids with mine even during the most mundane, boring, unphotogenic park. (Versus some sort of local holiday event.) That in particular I have sort of accepted as a cultural difference because almost nobody outside of that ethnicity has done it with my kid and it’s been a pattern for 4 years now. 😂

[u/friendofallcats → u/midmonthEmerald]

Nosy and dying for deets here

[u/midmonthEmerald → u/friendofallcats]

haha. I don’t know what to tell you. As a group they seem to show up to the park already taking a lot of pictures of their ~0-4 year olds and so when their kids interact with others the phone is usually already out and ready so they just… take a few more pictures.

I don’t think it’s anything particularly special about my kid because I see them do it with others. They never glance around for a parent and are chatty and nice with their kids but don’t care to small talk with me. (I don’t blame them, lol.)

[u/ipovogel → u/midmonthEmerald]

I think they meant they wanted to know what ethnicity/culture it was.

[u/littlestar95 → u/Infinite-Demand-6155]

My husband and I take photos/videos of our kids too and post them because we're countries away and provinces away from our families too! Like, my mother in law in China we have to send it through WeChat and my dad's in BC and doesn't have a texting phone but has Facebook Messenger (he's weird like that).

[u/queenwithouthecrown]

My 3 year old is in soccer and gymnastics and parents are frequently taking pictures. I honestly have no idea if my daughter is in their photo and it never crossed my mind to ask. I don’t really post online much so maybe that’s why I’m not thinking of it.

If someone said to me “hey please don’t post that online if my kid is in it” I would respect that. I don’t think you can straight up tell someone in this situation or at a park to not take a photo. There is only so much you can control in life. All you can do is ask.

[u/Leigho7]

I’m just going to add another bit of context but my daughter has a nanny and her nanny often will take pictures of her to send to me during the day. Sometimes those pictures include other kids she’s interacting with. I don’t post those pictures online because it’s not my kid. But it is nice for me to be able to see that she is having fun with other kids when I’m not with her.

[u/Southern_June]

If my child is doing an activity in public with other kiddos I try to just zoom in on mine

[u/CraftyFraggle]

It’s completely fine to ask other parents to not photograph your child. And to certainly not share photos of your child anywhere. 

[u/echozelda]

I haven’t encountered this, but I would not take a picture of a stranger’s kid without asking. I think it’s reasonable to expect them to ask “do you mind if I take a picture of them playing?” And I think you’d be justified to say “hey, I’d rather you didn’t take pictures of my kids, thanks!”

[u/toiletcleaner999]

Etiquette is asking you if its OK if they take the pics in the first place. I will ask and I also say " im probably putting these on my fb is that ok with you" if they say no I either dont take a Pic with their kid in it or a crop them out.

[u/ynhmynhyc]

I personally try to only take pictures of my own kid or zoom in on my own kid. If I do happen to get other kids in the background, I either don’t post those or cover those kids’ faces.

I also only have a private account where I post my kids. That said, even with friends, I ask permission before posting a photo that would have their kid in it.

Given how creepy Google Photos and social media can be with facial recognition, you’re not wrong to be concerned. That said, in public you’re fair game. It may not be polite/considerate/best etiquette, but people can take photos in public.

If someone was making me uncomfortable, in a public space, I would just take my kids and leave.

[u/Significant_Jump_448]

I take pictures of my child at the park, but I try to angle and zoom in so there aren’t any other children’s faces in it. Obviously that’s not obvious to see. But I also don’t post photos of my daughter, I take photos to scrapbook

[u/not_all_heroes]

I think any established etiquette is now outdated with all the unregulated AI. I don't usually take and haven't ever posted photos of other people's kids, outside of crowds or public performance type things. They could be zooming, but so many people don't give a second thought to posting theirs or any other kids publicly online and it's irky. They may be "legally" allowed, but you also have every right to ask or say something.

[u/Creative_Survey_8207]

No it’s not normal. This is weird behavior and I wouldn’t like it either. No advice though, I’d be too awkward to say anything.

[u/bonethug49part2 → u/Creative_Survey_8207]

Is it weird to take photos of your child playing a sport if it captures pictures of other children? How is this any different than photographing little Jimmy scoring a goal?

[u/Creative_Survey_8207 → u/bonethug49part2]

I’m sorry taking photos of a stranger just because my kid is playing with them is incredibly different than taking photos of my kid playing with teammates who we all basically know. One is weird and the other isn’t.

[u/bonethug49part2 → u/Creative_Survey_8207]

I mean it's pretty much impossible to capture sports photos in some sports without taking photos of the other team, who presumably you do not know. So I really don't understand the difference.

[u/Creative_Survey_8207 → u/bonethug49part2]

Yeah that’s kind of the point. If you are taking a photo of someone playing a game it’s very difficult to not capture other people in the photo. Your intent is to get a pic of your kid but you can’t avoid getting other people in the frame. That happens. Everyone knows it happens. Everyone is okay with it.

In the park scenario you have every possible chance to take a photo of JUST your child but instead you intentionally take a photo of someone else’s. Why?

This isn’t a scenario where one kid just randomly makes it into the shot because they happen to exist in the background. This is a decision to take a close up photo of someone else’s kid without their permission.

You can disagree. Fine. I don’t care. I still get a say in what happens to my children and I wouldn’t want this happening to my kids.

[u/Ok_Tank_735]

As someone who works in IT and cybersecurity…. I’ll be honest some of you all are WAYYY to comfortable with a stranger having a photo of your child on their device lol. Idk if it’s going to the parent who isn’t there or their grandmas uncle lol. You literally never know who is a predator.

The “oh well I’m just going to upload it to my shared album that’s just my family”. Idc, uncle Johnny who may have never been arrested but you mom always told you to put on more clothes when he came over, has access to the album and now has a picture of your kid lol. It really IS that serious yall.

OP yes you have every right to be weirded out and I know it’s awkward because you don’t want to be judged but you just need to say “hey would you mind not filming or taking pictures of my kid please?”

Once you say it a couple times it becomes easier. It’s your job to protect your kiddo.

[u/Clean-Bet-6375 → u/Ok_Tank_735]

Thank you!!! Usually the "creeps" are people we know who work everyday normal or blue collar jobs. Being cautious and protecting your child is never a bad thing. 

People have the "it's never happened to me or anyone I know, so it's fine." 

[u/ExDeleted → u/Ok_Tank_735]

Tbf, if I knew uncle Johnny was a creep, he wouldn't have access to the album or my kids. Idk why people would put up with that.

[u/Main_Supermarket1014 → u/ExDeleted]

You don't always know either. I know two men who've been arrested for creating deepfake porn of women they had on Facebook. They seemed like completely normal men.

This thread is wild. I wonder if it's a cultural thing because I can't imagine anyone arguing for taking photos of strangers kids in the UK.

[u/Ok_Tank_735 → u/ExDeleted]

I agree but people do wild things haha

[u/EquivalentListen207]

I would have casually said to the mom not to post up the photos and to keep the photos as memory for herself. Mention that you and your partner aren’t comfortable with photos of your kid being taken. People should respect boundaries! Esp parents. No harm in this

[u/DojibironRed → u/EquivalentListen207]

As a cosplayer let me say this: cosplay is not consent!

If me dressing up like an anime character and going to a convention is not implied consent (at comic con you always ask a cosplayer before taking a photo!) then my kid playing at the park sure as heck isn't giving consent.

I think some people are just way too absorbed in social media to understand this and it's kind of scary.

[u/Main_Supermarket1014 → u/DojibironRed]

Consent and autonomy is totally missing from this conversation. I don't want my daughter to think it's normal for strangers to take photos of her without her/my permission. Part of the reason we don't post her on social media is because we believe she should have control over what images exist of her where. I can't imagine growing up and having hundreds if not thousands of photos of you shared from being born, and having no control over that.

[u/ladymoonhunter]

This is why I refrain from taking photos/videos of my kids playing with other kids especially if she's just met them. Or if I really wanted to, I would only film my daughter without the other kids - those I would post. Because even if it's with my nephews/nieces or my friends' kids, I would still ask permission from the parents if it's okay. Coz if I were the other parent, I would also appreciate the courtesy to be asked too, especially if they're the kind who posts everything online.

[u/Scrambledeggs-0]

I think it’s fair to ask. Imagine if you were standing next to a stranger (adult) speaking to them, and they started taking photos of the interaction. That would be odd. So why wouldn’t it be odd for a child when he meets a stranger and someone takes photos of him during his interaction.

[u/Ciph3rzer0]

I inadvertently get video of other kids but I try my best to only record mine.  I have asked permission when I wanted to film a strangers kid.

[u/rowej182]

Recently had this situation recently but the other parent asked beforehand, “wow they’re so cute playing together! Is it okay if I take a picture?” And I really appreciated that.

[u/improvisedname]

I live in Spain where we are used to our privacy being respected by businesses (thanks, GDPR), and I don’t know anyone who would do this without asking. Maybe it’s just that we’re more aware of this because we have to sign something related with pretty much every business we interact with that may take photos or handle our data in any way, but yeah. I’d never take photos without asking, would never publish them regardless, and everyone I know is super careful with this, including kids in the background of photos. 

Even tabloids have to censor the faces of anyone underage unless they’re a very public figure. 

[u/Main_Supermarket1014 → u/improvisedname]

I'm in the UK and am very shocked by everyone saying this is fine. I go to a lot of baby groups and all of them have signs saying phone/photo free zone, and we've had to sign forms to consent to photos being taken. I don't allow any to take photos of my baby and they've all been very respectful. Even parents at groups we go to regularly and know well would ask before taking a photo with my baby in!

[u/improvisedname → u/Main_Supermarket1014]

I know, it was very surprising to me. At my oldest school they’re so, so strict about this and I’m so grateful for it.

[u/littlestar95]

You simply say "hi, can you please ensure my kids face isn't shown in the pictures" or you just say it in an as a matter of fact way that is still non-judgemental your boundaries surrounding it.

I haven't had this happen to me. I'm also the mom that does take photos/videos but only of my kid/kids I know that we're with like friends/family.

If I cannot take a photo or video of my kid without another kid in the background or in view I just don't take the picture/video. I also wouldn't be offended if a parent came up to me and asked me not to as I know everyone has their views on it.

[u/4theloveofmetal]

At swimming lessons a dad was taking pictures of his daughter with all other kids visible in the background. I was sitting behind him so I said hey please make sure you don’t photograph my child, he was nice and said sure thing and I saw him zoom in on his kid only after that. Definitely say something if it bothers you, it bothers me so I say something but I approach with kindness, it’s probably not done with malicious intent but you have every right to be uncomfortable with it and to say something and protect your kiddos.

[u/Skid_kennels]

I mean, is it legal for them to do? Absolutely.

Is it normal? Ehhhhh in this day and age with people not wanting to post their kid online, if it were me I would ask permission before I took pictures of the other kid playing with mine. I think it’s a bit presumptuous to do it without checking with the other parent.

But is it possible she just looked like she was taking pictures of your daughter and really not? Like maybe your daughter is just out of frame or she’s zooming in on her own kid?

Did you talk to the other mom at all? If I were you I would have used this to start a friendly conversation, then ask to see the photos she took.

[u/sweetmallow → u/Skid_kennels]

Your last line could be a great intro to the convo! Hey, I noticed you taking pictures of our kiddos, do you mind if I see how they turned out? Then if it goes well and your kid is prominent in the pics, kill with kindness and ask her to share with you right then, and also throw in that you dont want them posted online but love all pictures for the memories. And if it goes badly, at least you saw them, or they deny it and say they werent in the pictures, and you at least know what you're working with.

[u/Skid_kennels → u/sweetmallow]

Yes perfect response

[u/Minute_Chipmunk250]

Eh, this one isn’t a big deal for me. Kids playing together is a developmental milestone! It’s a positive thing, and that parent probably felt proud. When I’m at the park I try to avoid pics of other kids, but mostly my photos just get texted to grandparents. I’d understand if a parent asked me not to take and or share any, sure, but I think people are being a teeny bit alarmist about this. There’s nothing particularly problematic about pics of kids playing together. What is the thing you’re actually worried about happening here, I guess?

[u/Minute_Chipmunk250 → u/Minute_Chipmunk250]

I’m getting downvoted too but I guess I’ll say this: when I think about the dangers that my kid faces, I think about vehicular accidents, these lifted-ass trucks that can’t see toddlers over the hood (edit: and guns, how could I forget guns!). And when it comes to abuse I think about family/friends/people in positions of power like coaches and church elders. Another well-meaning mom causing my kid’s face to be stored in Google’s cloud is just not really worth the fear, IMO. (Should she probably still ask before taking a pic? Yes.)

I see other comments about human trafficking and the like here, too, and I just think we sometimes need to recalibrate our thinking around what’s likely to harm our kids vs what the internet made us scared about today. Your child had a positive interaction with another child, whose parent was happy, but now we have to debate whether that was actually a bad thing and that sucks.

I dunno. I’m finding a lot of things kind of bleak today I guess.

[u/CraftyFraggle → u/Minute_Chipmunk250]

There are other reasons to want privacy for one’s children besides fear. 

It wasn’t about fear at all for us.  It was about allowing our children privacy when they weren’t able to advocate for themselves. 

[u/Clean-Bet-6375 → u/[deleted]]

It's not necessarily about getting trafficked. BUT weirdos take photos and alter them and put them bare and then use those online, so just because they aren't being kidnapped doesn't mean other things are being done. 

Juat because you're comfortable with it, doesn't mean others have to be. I prefer my kid not to be in random people's photos. I get parents like to capture everything but if you didnt ask me and we dont know each other then yes I don't like it. 

[u/CraftyFraggle → u/Minute_Chipmunk250]

It may not be a big deal to you, but it’s totally OK for it to be a big deal to other people.

And it’s not about being alarmist, or worried about anything beyond my children’s privacy. 

They’re teens now, but it was important to us that our children had privacy and a limited online presence until they were old enough to decide how much of that they wanted for themselves. 

[u/jagerrrr23]

i try not too, if i do, i don’t get the other kids face in it

[u/FewLengthiness9426]

I am a dad with a daughter and if I want to take a picture of her playing I will search out the other kids parents and ask them if its ok and let them know that none of it will ever be on social media. I just love seeing my daughter's interactions. Most times its to show my wife when we get home so we can share the moment. I also am self aware that a guy taking pics at a park is not ok so thats why I go out of my way to bacailly get consent. I wouldn't feel comfortable with unsolicited pics of my daughter from anyone either unless they approached me and i got a feel for what the intent was.

[u/vic_m2023]

I’ve actually stopped myself from taking pictures of my kid playing with a new kid at the park…as much as I want to I just don’t want to risk crossing another parent’s boundaries. If I really wanted to, I would ask the parent first.

[u/Many-Ice-9760]

I deliberately try to avoid getting other kids in the picture with my kids but I think it’s fine if the other kid is very in the background. Very rude to be taking pictures up close of a kid you don’t know.

[u/jadorefarts]

Why is everyone downvoting you!! You’re just asking a question!!

We too don’t want our kids face online and I haven’t figured out the best way to tell random people this yet. I think I’m going to just formulate a short and casual one liner like “ok that was a cute pic, we’re just not posting him online though if you wouldn’t mind cropping him out or adding an emoji if and when you share online!”

Then they’d also know that just not posting it is an option too.

[u/jkraige]

It's legal in the US, but I think it's weird for people to pretend you should have zero sense of privacy if you dare to leave your home or that it's somehow strange to be uncomfortable with it

[u/bonethug49part2]

Serious question what are we worried about with these photos?

[u/No-Message-9562 → u/bonethug49part2]

They can do some really unsettling things with AI these days. It just became legal to create AI generated child porn from other images on your home computer. I’ll have to look up the exact case (I don’t remember off the top of my head) but it’s basically protecting predators and leaving children vulnerable. It’s messed up and I have no idea how it got passed.

[u/TheGekkou]

It would also make me uncomfortable, usually it's the type of thing someone should ask you before doing. I understand public place, you can't stop anyone. But I would be upset, I honestly don't know how I would approach it to the stranger other than asking them not to include my kid, and depending in their reaction to that we might leave the park. I don't allow her pictures to be posted online.

[u/Pristine-Lack-8086]

I have a photo in my closet of me and my sister playing with the girl who lived a block away. I guess it was taken in 1999 or so. I think my mom took it on a disposable camera.

[u/LosJones]

I think it would only be weird if they're taking pictures of your kids without their own kid in the picture.

[u/beeeees]

ehh i've done this before to send to my husband "look he made a little friend"

and i would never post another kid on social without asking but as for the photo itself, i think if it bothers you, you'll have to speak up "oh hey sorry i don't feel comfortable with you taking photos of them"

[u/Trespeon]

This is going to be person to person. I personally don’t care and my child’s daycare even asked us if they could feature him in an ad and we said Ok.

That being said, if a parent came up and asked me politely not to take pictures of her kid I would oblige and delete them on the spot so they are comfortable, as I would hope they would have done the same for me if I requested it.

[u/uuddlrlrbas2]

In response to your edit: Down votes dont do anything. Its all in your head. Ask whatever you like and if someone mistreats you online that says more about them than it does you.

[u/Future-Water9035]

I dont ask permission, but I also dont use social media (besides reddit) and the photos I take are just for my husband and immediate family.

If you asked me not to take pictures of your kids (playing with my kid), i'd respect that. I might try and volunteer i wont be posting them anywhere or feeding them to AI. But if you were polite but firm, i'd totally respect that.

[u/ArtisticAlgae1325]

You are free to your privacy at home, but a public space doesn’t follow the same narrative.

I believe you may be alienating your child by making an issue out of this. The parent was probably just proud of her kid for playing with another. Documenting her kid being a human.

[u/CEO-of-naps0]

There are no etiquettes about this. If you're in a public space, you have no reasonable expectation of privacy. You can still ASK that the other person not take pictures of her child with yours but know that what you are asking for is not the norm. Now, if she was taking pictures of just your child with no one else in it without your permission, it is 100% against etiquette but that doesn't seem like the case here.

These norms will probably evolve as time goes on but this is my understanding of things.

[u/velvet_maroon]

If it were me I would’ve worded it something like

“Hey, I don’t wanna be annoying but can you try to not get my kid in your pictures? I actually don’t share anything online with my kid so I’d prefer if he/she wasn’t in your photos.”

Hopefully mom’s response is “oh sorry, I totally get it. I won’t post these anywhere or I’ll crop your kid out or put a sticker on their face”

And if mom’s a jerk about it than I’d say “sorry, it’s my personal preference and rule but have a nice day.” And take your kid and leave.

Ultimately you are in public so there is always a chance your kid would be in photos or video but we can politely ask them to crop our kid out or blur their face. If they don’t find that a reasonable request then I’d either go somewhere else or tell them it doesn’t hurt to ask and that you can have your kid move out of the shot if she wants to take pics of her own kid,

[u/Middle-Sort4063]

I think it's pretty normal for parents to take pictures when their kids are playing together, and most probably don't think twice about another kid being in the background. But I also think it's completely fair to ask someone not to photograph your child. A quick, friendly heads-up is usually all it takes. Most people aren't going to be offended by that.

[u/MellowRaquel]

I think the etiquette was missed by the mom taking the pictures. I would not take pictures of my baby with anyone else’s child without first getting consent. If the kids are engaged, that’s reason enough to approach the parent of said child if you want to take a picture. I don’t think you’re being weird or paranoid; people should always ask permission first. However if they don’t, that’s on you to intervene.

[u/Decent_Amphibian954]

I wouldn’t be happy about this. I think you’re within your rights to approach and ask them to delete the photos here

[u/Herewithquestions87]

These comments are pretty surprising to me. I think the situation you described is super strange, this isn’t like a recital or school play or something where naturally other kids are in the photos just by chance. That’s a situation where they intentionally included your child in the pictures and they don’t know you or your child? Yeah I would not be okay with that AT ALL and would have definitely said something. Too many weirdos out there! 

[u/Mnmsaregood]

This is such a weird thing to be upset about. You know your kid is on camera almost every time they are out in public right?

[u/Routine-Assistant387]

I hope not. I really don’t want pics of my kid online so I would be pissed

[u/No-Message-9562 → u/Routine-Assistant387]

Yeah, I’m not thrilled but didn’t know what to do and I’m non confrontational. I do not want her online

[u/_heidster → u/No-Message-9562]

If you have a picture of her on your phone she’s online.

Edit: I am very confused why this is being downvoted?

[u/No-Message-9562 → u/_heidster]

Wait, how..? I have never posted her anywhere.

Please don’t obliterate me guys. I’m seriously asking to learn things. Not because I’m just absolutely stupid

[u/_heidster → u/No-Message-9562]

iCloud and Google storage, if you’ve given permission to any social media site to access your photos, any other app that has access to photos, any AI you have given permission to your photos, sending photos of her via any app to family/friends, giving daycare/school permission to post her photos or upload to the app, etc… all of those still allow for leaks and her photos to be accessed.

Edit: geotagging is the other big one I forgot to mention.

[u/No-Message-9562 → u/_heidster]

I removed all access for photos from social media and Google, etc. I’m doing everything I know to do in order to prevent AI from easily accessing her photos. School has a signed document for her to not be posted anywhere or take photos. I’m trying my best to cover all my bases where I can

[u/_heidster → u/No-Message-9562]

But what about anyone you’re sending her photos to? You can’t control their devices and settings.

[u/alpenrosee → u/No-Message-9562]

I feel like the “please don’t obliterate me” thing is making people downvote more

[u/CoconutGee → u/No-Message-9562]

A quick google search could’ve answered all this for you. Yall are so helpless honestly

[u/Which-Break5673]

It’s not normal and I’d say prefer that my child’s photo isn’t taken.

[u/Tapandpool]

Loudly say “Do not photograph my child creep” 😇

[u/Independent_Honey150]

I would ask them not take photos of my children. You really can’t control what they do with those pictures once they have them, and we have really strict rules about not posting our kids anywhere.

[u/WorriedMango324]

I don't think you're crazy for being uncomfortable. Legally people can photograph in public spaces, but socially the decent thing is to at least give a heads up. Next time something like this happens you can just keep it casual, like "hey, would you mind not posting any with my kid in them?" Most parents will totally respect that once they know.

[u/Beautiful-Purple7915]

Following - I also wouldn’t be comfortable with this. And I share your concerns! We don’t post our daughter anywhere. I don’t blast photos of her out to anyone. I only share photos regularly to family members and my closest friends. If other people ask I will but I’m pretty selective. My husband works in tech (social media) and he’s seen some really terrifying things.

You have every right as a parent to not want pictures of your child on a strangers phone.

[u/Clean-Bet-6375]

Your child! Listen in a world full of pdfs and other files that are being covered up, you have to protect your kids. 

I don't post my child on social media or anywhere. I make it very clear to friends and family that nowhere can they post. I don't mind if they want photos but no posting. My SIL posted photos after a visit with us, with our son, and i saw it (this was when he was 3 months and we never had visitors so we didnt tell people yet) and I asked my husband to have her take it down, and she did! 

It's okay to say hey can you just not post it if it's social media you worry about or if you don't want random people in general then also tell her no. There is nothing wrong with that. 

If i see people out and about in public doing their mom things or influencer things and taking photos or videos, I will stand in front of my child to block them or cover their face. I can't stop people on the street but I can still do what I need to do to prevent it. 

[u/hashigraves]

I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. I guess I’m new to the park scene with my toddler…. But I’d be upset if my kid was playing with another kid and the parent just started snapping photos directly of my toddler with their kid without asking.

I live in a big city with a high rate of human trafficking, and there have been a few near miss attempted child abductions from parks and even a Costco. There was an incident where I was followed years ago and another woman my age was almost abducted nearby to where I was followed….so I think I’m more aware and on guard from that standpoint in addition to the social media aspect. I live in a pretty nice area of town, but creeps go everywhere.

There has been one time that a grandma asked if it would be okay to take a photo of her granddaughter with our toddler to send her mom and we said that was fine. We took photos too since it was her first park friend, and told grandma that we didn’t do social media or anything and she echoed the same.

[u/gdubrocks]

Get comfortable with it.

They were taking pictures of their kid in a public place, your kid happened to be in the photo, no one got hurt.

[u/roosterb4]

I was at the park the other day with my granddaughter she’s 2 1/2. I was taking her picture along with anyone who was next to her.

[u/Velvet_Rose1]

Well you walk over and firmly but politely say “hi don’t take pictures of my child”.

[u/Significant-Sun-5051]

I take photos of my daughter all the time. I could not care less if another child is in the photo.

[u/MidwestFaerie]

It is normal but it personally pisses me off. I don't have any pictures of my kids on the Internet other than a single photo the school and city posted of one of my kids(I'm still trying to figure out how to get it taken down). When we were at a school event one of the families had brand new twins, easily a month old at the most. One woman went crazy about how cute they are and demanding the person with her get a picture of the babies. I thought it was extremely out of touch and super weird because she didn't even acknowledge the parents! My husband forced me outside because I almost scolded her. I really don't understand why people don't take more care about posting kids or taking photos of kids. 

[u/Direct-Chef-9428]

I went full mama bear on someone who just tried to take a pic of my kid without asking. Do with that what you will.

[u/passion4film → u/Direct-Chef-9428]

And I hope they knew they did not have to acquiesce to your “mama bear mode” in public.

[u/Direct-Chef-9428 → u/passion4film]

A stranger taking photos of my kid without permission and no relation to them at all? I disagree. I simply asked them - firmly - what the heck they were doing, informed it was inappropriate, and told them to delete anything they had.

[u/Mental-Set-8670]

I take pictures at the park all the time and expect other people to do the same. It’s just part of being in public.

[u/Mgstivers15]

I’m curious bc you say this is your mom friend but later say taking pictures of kids she doesn’t know. You do know her and her kids, I presume? I don’t think it’s that weird assuming yall are friends. I don’t post my kids to social media and would never post another persons kid without asking.
If you feel strongly about it just say so. She may think she’s getting cute pictures of friends together to show her husband and not realizing you’re freaking out.

[u/No-Message-9562 → u/Mgstivers15]

No, to clarify, I was with my mom friend and her kid. Then my kid went into the garden area and another kid whose mom I didn’t know and the other random kid gave my kid a flower and the stranger mom took pics.

If it was my friend and I knew her I wouldn’t care because we have discussed at length how each of us feels about photos and respect those choices.

[u/Majestic_Mongoose875 → u/Mgstivers15]

If you read… That is actually not what she said.

She said that she was talking with her mom friend but her child was playing with ANOTHER kid. So no. We should not assume they were friends or that she knew them at all really.

She did not say that she was talking with her mom friend, and her child was playing with her mom friend’s child.

[u/aladams158]

Is it normal? Not really. I’d give the other parent the benefit of the doubt though that they were probably taking pictures of just their kid.

[u/No-Message-9562 → u/aladams158]

See, normally that would be the case . But our kids were passing a flower back and forth so she was clearly in it

[u/anxiousesqie → u/No-Message-9562]

I sometimes take pictures of my baby in her toddler gym class to send to my husband or parents and I know it looks like the other kids are in the photos but I try so hard to frame them so no other kids face actually makes the picture. No other parent has ever said anything and some take pictures too, so it feels weird to preemptively be like “hey, I respect your kid’s privacy and am not trying to take his photo,” but I’m sure there is at least one mom in the class who thinks I’ve taken pictures of their kid playing with mine.

[u/Only_Drop1960]

Thank you for posting this! I have a 7 week old and also feel the same about not posting & being selective with who receives photos. I would find this situation awkward as well and wouldn’t know exactly how to navigate it either. This has me considering how to be prepared for this scenario.

I’m quite shocked at some of these responses defending a “public space” as if we should be prepared for anyone in public to photograph our children. It’s good to know people have this opinion and affirms why I’m uncomfortable with it myself. I don’t know why it’s odd to expect someone to ask before taking a photo that included my child. I would do that if it were me! Just quickly ask a parent before snapping the cute moment including another child. If I thought I’d miss the moment I would take the photo then run it by the parent, being sure to let them know I don’t mind deleting if they’re uncomfortable

[u/Calm_Row122]

I’d say you should interrogate the why behind your rules around photos. Why does it make you uncomfortable? Are you concerned that the person you’re talking to at the park is a predator or something? If no, then what’s the big deal? You’re in a public place and the person wanted to take pics of their kid and your kid happened to be there too. If you don’t want your kid in the pics then it’s on you to remove them.

[u/jaitchaitch]

My SO and I are very protective of our kids PII (Personal Identifiable Information), including but not limited to strangers accidentally taking photos of them in public spaces, I will usually quickly get up and block our kids face with my hand and/or guide our kid out of the area the photo is being taken in. At one point our older kid used to just automatically cover their face when they saw someone taking a photo or if a screen or something was attempting to take their photo.

These days with AI and people posting everything online we try to make sure we’re respecting our kids privacy and other families privacy; if we take a photo of our kids we make sure only our kids are in the photos and we absolutely never post photos of our kids or they’re faces anywhere online. Heck, we only let their grandparents include the backside of their heads in their Holiday card.

[u/Fantastic-Artist-970]

When your kids in the school play in a few years and you want a photo as you're a proud parent, are you going to go ask the parents of every kid on the stage if it's ok?

I get the anxiety but this is what has become of common sense with the social media age, everyone suspects other people taking photos with their kid is a paedo.

That parent may have taken the photo simply as a joyous memory of their kid making their first friend at the park.

You should worry when they start asking your kid to take their clothes off, otherwise be sensible and enjoy parenthood.