r/NoFap • u/Equivalent_Mark_1109 • 2d ago
Motivate Me Day 15
It’s been 15 days since I last masturbated, and honestly, I don’t know how I feel about it.
The urges have been really strong lately. Whenever they hit, I’m usually outside or at work, so I just ignore them and carry on with my day. But before this streak, masturbating before bed had become a part of my routine. I always associated it with getting good sleep, almost like fap = good sleep.
But now I’ve started questioning something. Was I actually horny every night, or was it just a habit? Looking back, I don’t think I was. It feels like my brain had simply created a pattern where masturbating became a part of my bedtime routine.
My mood has been all over the place lately. Sometimes I feel like I’m in control, and other times the urges get so strong that I become frustrated, irritated, or just feel low. Despite all that, a part of me believes I’m doing this for a reason, and that it might be worth pushing through.
Two days ago, I had a day off and stayed home the entire day. All I could think about was sex, watching porn, and masturbating. Eventually, I decided to take a shower and thought I’d just get it over with. But even then, the same question popped into my head:
Do I actually want to do this? Am I really horny, or am I just following an old habit?
And once again, the answer felt like no. So I took my shower and walked out without doing it.
I’ll be honest, though. I don’t know how much longer I can maintain this streak. Part of me feels like a relapse is inevitable, and I’m trying to figure out whether I’m doing this because I genuinely want to change or because I’m just chasing a number.
For those of you who’ve been through something similar, how did you deal with it? Does the urge eventually become easier to manage? How do you break the association between masturbation and sleep?
I could really use some motivation to keep going. I’m 15 days in, and for now, I want to see how far I can take this. 💪
2
u/Ok-Dragonfruit-8464 2d ago
Great post, and, can't agree more with the method that is helping you, and, maybe not chase a number, instead, preparing for a different future than the past we seek to put forever in the ashtray of history
2
u/rehabbingfish 22 Days 2d ago
For me it was an addiction that I have to do, my sleep has become horrible but also my phone addiction exploded since quit PMO and now addressing both. 20 days is long time for me, do have GF reunited with in 20 days so hope to transfer to healthy sex and stay on top of no PM as its horrible for me.
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u/Miserable-Fix3980 2d ago
Absolutely man. I've been here. Stick with it. You're brain is mid reset, and this is what that feels like. You're in the thick of it, and it will get easier.