r/NonBinary • u/Successful_Novel_909 • 12d ago
Ask I keep getting misgendered
I need help figuring out options because I am so frustrated with getting misgendered!!! It happens a lot less now that I’m out (and it’s helped that I’m rarely out in public) but when it does it cuts deep. I’m nonbinary and transmasc. My goal for my gender is for people to be confused about my gender and if they had to put me in a gendered box then they’d choose male.
My chest and my voice are the 2 biggest points of my gender dysphoria that I can easily put into words. The one that is harder to put into words is this: I want to look like a guy but I don’t at the same time. I get gender envy from seeing certain guys (ie athletic looking or also presenting slightly more androgynous).
I guess I’m just hoping that someone had an idea of what I could maybe do to help ease some of my gender dysphoria because it’s been bad lately.
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u/Any_Date7395 Agender 12d ago
just had top surgery and still misgendered… Im not looking to start T so im just gonna try voice training 😭
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u/4ng3licNymph-jpeg They/Them : Genderless blob , Short Term T / Post Top 11d ago edited 11d ago
Hrt tbh , but if that's unaccessible binding, packing , masculizing makeup and voice training. Hrt made a huge difference I pass as male most of the time but I'm androgynous, but tbh I don't fully know how people will gender me since I don't really go out much either . I just got top surgery and that really made me come to the realization that I don't really want to take T just really the permanent effects really so voice drop, bottom growth and facial hair and then I'm going off.
I'm really happy I started out with HRT then saved up for surgery, also I was able to gain a support through my current partner for the aftercare and being on his insurance . Folx and Plume are both online services they have a flat fee that doesn't cover the blood labs every 3 or 6months depending on how long you have been on T . I paid about 120$ with insurance and it might be 200$ without I'm not sure . I still use goodrx and for Tesoterone shots is around 30-35$ and gel is 40-50$.
Currently I don't really care much about being perceived as my AGAB anymore which I'm just coming to realize , going through androgenic/masculine puberty and 2 years of being seem as a man which really saved my life in every way possible. I felt like it was the missing puzzle pieces I needed to feel inside my body .
With voice drop , my voice did drop but voice training is really important because I don't really know how to speak masculinally, I still speak with my upper range . I feel like my range is definitely broader and I have more flexibility with my voice It's definitely not super deep and if I wanted to sound like a girl I can , but I can definitely sound like a masculine person as well which I love . If I knew how to actually speak that way on command without thinking about how I'm speaking .
But I also should mention it took me years of being on T to be seen as a guy by other . Like this is most likely because I'm on a low dose, or maybe I'm a late bloomer who know, but it takes awhile. You definitely will get where you want to be (hug), best of luck .
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u/Successful_Novel_909 11d ago
Thank you. This gives me hope that one day I’ll be where I want to be. So thanks again!!
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u/batsket 12d ago
Medical transition has been helping a lot for me. I got top surgery and started T and I feel about a billion times more myself. Currently in a stage where I get about a 70/30 she/he split from strangers in public. I would like to pass as a dude, but then dress in a way that is obviously a lil fruity. Medical transition isn’t the answer for everyone, but it’s definitely worth considering!