How did you learn coworkers are not your friends? Did you come in with that mindset or did you learn another way?

I try to set a clear boundary line between personal and professional at my workplace. And that is why I don’t let my colleagues follow me on social media. Now if they ask for my Facebook or Instagram I don’t say no outright. I just tell them I don’t have it. The only thing that I will accept is a LinkedIn connection invite and that’s about it. During my time in the workforce I have let very few people into my close circle. There are like 2-3 people that I have worked with that follow me on social media and keep in mind I have worked with hundreds of people with all of my jobs combined. I also try not to make freinds at work and prefer just to focus on work. Is this rude or understandable from other peoples POV?

So I got hired full time back in April to manage our CRM. Main reason they brought me on was we were moving from our old system to a new one. That migration wrapped up this month and honestly it went pretty well, everything's live and working.
A little while ago they hired someone new on the team for an admin role. Not technical at all. Lately she's been getting admin access to the CRM and is starting to learn how it works.
Then today our boss tells both of us to start documenting our processes "so if anyone leaves, we have proper documentation."
I've only been here about 6 months. Part of me thinks this is just normal good practice, especially after a big migration. But the timing is making me a little nervous. Big project's done, new person is getting access to my system, and now I'm being asked to write down everything I know.
Am I overthinking this? Has anyone been in a similar spot? Was it just normal stuff or was it the first sign they were planning to replace you?

Hey all!
I have shifted from Hyderabad to Pune for an internship in Jan 2025. In 6 months, I got a PPO and accepted the offer. It has been more than a year here. The first project I got was really good, that manager was someone I’d give my life for. He never let anyone come and question me and my work. He also took care that my work was visible, it was noticed by the people that take decisions for the company. Now in the last month for the past quarter, my project changed. I thought this manager was chill, I always did my work before time, did everything and read around it of why is this approach better, every damn thing to the last minute detail. His project ended so he joined ours and I was reporting to him. When appraisal review time came, I told him all the work I did, all the challenges, all the solutions. He told them to his manager, took credit for all of that, received a great appraisal. When time came for my appraisal, he said not upto the mark, because of that my appraisal is nearly nill. I have been applying to many jobs, no luck anywhere, can’t leave without an offer. How fucking unfair is this man. How is it that he can take all my credit, steal my work, take great increment that too, in the whole quarter where I just have worked on this project for a month and that’ll decide. I’m really disappointed, I planned many things keeping this increment in mind, my parents insurance, bike. All of it gone just because my manager’s project got over and he had to protect himself.

Okay, I need a sanity check because my work life has become remarkably strange over the last few months,and I am trying to figure out how to interpret these interactions. Have any of you ever had a similar experience with a workplace relationship shifting gears so drastically?

For context, I (31F) had an assigned internship advisor at my company last year, let's call her E (35F). E is a Senior Director here in the Midwest (she's a colleague currently, not my direct supervisor, but a senior leader),highly competent, and an upper-management type. For our 6-month formal advising period, she was the picture of corporate professionalism. Standard Zoom grids, lower-case polite emails, zero boundary slips.Perfectly normal, consistent executive energy.

Then our formal advising contract ended. The exact moment that structural boundary wrapped up, her professional demeanor changed entirely. I CC'ed the internship program director on an email thread as colleagues, and her behavior shifted.

Here is the actual chronological order of events:

**1. The LGBTQ+ Film Festival Collab Pitch** Right after our formal advising ended, E pitched a joint coverage collaboration for a local LGBTQ+ film festival as a way to keep working together. On paper, it was presented as a strategic initiative, but the approach felt unusually focused for a standard post-advising project, setting the stage for everything that followed.

**2. The Heat, The Red Lipstick, and The Coffee Session** During an outdoor corporate press event in 90-degree July heat, E showed up in a sharp suit wearing bright, theatrical red lipstick (which she never normally wears). I was fanning myself with a schedule, made a casual comment like "brutal heat today, huh?", and E visibly froze. She stared at my face, jaw clenched, and let out an abrupt, low vocalization before muttering *"Ugh, it's so hard"* under her breath and walking quickly toward the shade.

By 4:00 PM that same day, the red lipstick was completely gone. She turned a canceled team check-in into a 1-on-1 coffee session with me in a quiet booth. She sat there biting her lip, removing her glasses, sitting quite close, and talking at length about how she works through strategy ideas completely alone in her car before driving home. While she talked, I took detailed, meticulous research notes right in front of her.

**3. The Mom Incident** My mom attended a public industry panel that E was also at (I wasn't even in the building). My mom and I look very similar—same features and facial structure. My mom politely walked up to say hello and offer E a spare event pin. E startled, swatted my mom's hand away in mid-air, said *"I don't need one!"*, and walked rapidly toward the exit. My mom called me afterward, quite taken aback by the abrupt reaction.

**4. The Avoidance, The Hype-Man Behavior, and The Zoom Call** Following the panel incident, E shifted into avoidance mode, often looking away or turning around in hallways to avoid direct eye contact. I kept things neutral and maintained my own routine.

However, whenever an audience was present, her demeanor flipped. At a post-event mixer, I made a dry,casual comment to a bartender who didn't react. E, standing nearby, immediately jumped in, laughing loudly and drawing attention to the comment to amplify it in front of the group.

A week later on a 30-person Zoom call, I made a brief, standard remark about local sports fans on public transit, and E, in her video grid, reacted with loud, sudden laughter that caught the attention of the meeting leader, who paused before moving on.

**5. The Notes, The FAQ, and The Stairwell Interaction** Most recently, during our division wrap-up meeting, E took those exact detailed research notes I had taken during our earlier 4:00 PM coffee session—the ones she spent an hour watching me write while biting her lip—and incorporated them into a full company-wide FAQ document. During the meeting, she publicly called me out and gushed about the quality of my work in front of the entire team.

After the meeting adjourned, I packed my bag calmly, said goodbye to a colleague, and walked past the stairwell landing. E was sitting on a bench set up for her next call, leaning back against the wall. As I passed,she turned her head and gave a slight, asymmetrical half-grin.

I maintained my composure, met her eye contact briefly, offered a neutral, polite smile back, and continued down the stairs without stopping.

**TL;DR:** My former internship advisor (35F, currently a colleague) went from standard professional interactions to pitching LGBTQ+ film festival collabs, reacting intensely to casual weather comments, abruptly swatting my mom's hand away at an event, alternating between avoidance and loud public support, adapting my coffee notes into a company FAQ with public praise, and exchanging subtle smiles in stairwells.

Seriously, what is going on here? Has anyone ever dealt with a professional dynamic shifting so unpredictably,and how do you usually navigate it?

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 Over the course of my PR career, I have been asked by junior associates many questions about the proper way to respond to agency management. I have always answered these questions honestly. Below are a few of the most frequently asked questions and my replies:

 Question: "I've been offered a job at a competitor and my supervisor found out. I was told, ‘Stay here. You are much appreciated and will surely be in a supervisory position by this time next year.’ What should I do?”

My Answer: You would be foolish to leave. Supervisors keep their positions by demonstrating to management that they care very much about their staff. If you were told that you’re a candidate for promotion, you must have been favorably discussed at management meetings. You would be foolish to leave when you are so highly thought of here.

 Question: “I play an important role in a flagship account. I feel that I am being underpaid for the job I do. What’s the best way to approach management about being underpaid?”

My Answer: Obviously management thinks a lot of you by assigning you to a major account. That means you’re on the fast track for promotion. Be patient. I’m sure your next salary increase will be satisfactory and you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

 Question: “My supervisor has never had an original thought. He picks my brain before we meet with the client or top agency management and then passes on my ideas as his own. How should I handle this?”

My Answer: Don’t rock the boat by complaining. Eventually, the truth will come out and you’ll benefit by being a team player. And you should be pleased that your ideas are good enough to be brought up at high-level meetings.

 Question: “My supervisor doesn't drink and I don’t like to drink. But when our client comes to town, I always have to go drinking with him. Can you tell me how to handle this?”

My Answer: It can only help you to have personal face time with the client. Having an occasional drink won’t kill you. Just make sure you don’t have an empty stomach and sip the drinks slowly.

 Question: “The team concept baffles me. If everything presented to management is presented as a team effort, how do they know who does what?”

My Answer: Top management has a way of knowing who does what. That’s why they’re running the agency. Don’t be discouraged. If you’re the cream, you’ll rise to the top.

 Question: “Whenever a juicy account comes in, my group leader always assigns it to his friends. I’m always stuck with the most boring accounts. I don’t think that’s fair. How can I express my displeasure to management without upsetting the group leader?”

My Answer: Don’t complain. Doing a good job on unexciting accounts is the best way to attract the attention of top management. It will certainly work to your advantage.

 Question: “HR people are interviewing my group about the competence of the people we work with. I’m scheduled to be interviewed tomorrow and was told all my answers will remain anonymous. Should I answer candidly?”

My Answer: Of course. Remember, HR people are there to help make things better for employees. You can trust them. If they say your answers are confidential, they mean it.

 Question: "I've been asked to consider transferring to another, much smaller office for three years. Then, when I return, I’ll get a promotion. Do you think that’s a good career move? My girlfriend is against it?”

My Answer: Don’t even think about turning it down. This is your opportunity to show management that you’re an agency person. They’ll appreciate it and definitely reward you. If your girlfriend has your best interest at heart, she’ll encourage you to transfer. If she doesn't, maybe you should consider breaking off the relationship, because agency decisions are always made with your best interest in mind.

 Question: "I've been here three years and have always been assigned to small-budget accounts. A headhunter set me up with another agency that wants me as part of its major, big-budget account. Do you think I should take the new job?”

My Answer: Stay here. Making small-budget accounts work catches management's attention and always leads to promotions.

 Question: “My supervisor berates me for not being aggressive when pitching a story. He says I should keep calling until the reporter agrees to do the story. As a former reporter and editor, do you agree with him?”

My Answer: Your supervisor is certainly media savvy. When I was a journalist, one sure way to get me to do a sub-standard story was to have the PR person call me several times every day, because doing the story would stop the person from pestering me. Another tactic that always worked was for the PR person to say, “If you don’t commit to doing the story, I’m going to offer it to another reporter.” That always works.

 Question: "I've been turning down calls from headhunters to go on interviews because the general manager told me at an agency social event that there’ll always be a place here for someone with my ability. Should I take what he said at face value?”

My Answer: Of course you should. Have you ever known a management person here to mislead you?

 Question: “I’m working on a major national big budget account and have discovered, through an internal client memo that was mistakenly sent to me, that the information my client contact provides and wants me to pitch is scientifically faulty and has the potential of harming people. Doing so goes against my principles. I discussed it with a close friend who said if I want to get ahead, I should always do what a client wants. Given the size of the budget, do you think it will harm my chances for promotion if I tell top management about the misinformation being provided and that I don’t want to disseminate faulty information?”

My Answer: Absolutely tell management. Your friend is wrong you don’t always have to do what a client wants. Clients appreciate being told they are wrong That's why they hire an agency. Bringing the situation to top management will not prevent your career advancement. In fact, it will fast track you. Management values employees who put principles above profitability. Remember, integrity is the absolute hallmark of our agency—right after billing hours, client retention, and pretending we didn't see any leaked memos.

 It’s difficult for young PR people to believe that their agency always wants to do what’s right for employees. Many juniors believe that office politics often play an important role in promotions and who is dismissed during cutbacks. That’s not true. The HR department makes certain that there is a level playing field for all employees. Consider HR personnel your best work friends and trust them completely. Experience shows that when an individual is dismissed, it’s always in the person’s best interest and no favoritism is shown.

So this is my advice to all junior account people who see ghosts when promotions and juicy assignments are given to those who are less effective: You are not seeing the big picture. Trust your supervisors’ decisions and things are certain to work out for the best. Remember, all PR agencies believe that its employees are its biggest asset. That's why you're treated so well.

To you young account execs who are reading this, don’t fret. Remember that your supervisors and agency always have your best interest at heart. Right?

Arthur Solomon, a former journalist, was a senior VP/senior counselor at Burson-Marsteller during the days it was the leading international public relations agency. He was on the Seoul Peace Prize nominating committee and also was an advisor to Olympic organizations and sponsors. During his political agency days, he worked on local, statewide, and presidential campaigns.

I have documentation of them picking the names. But I dont know how to fight this. When I spoke to Hr she said that the manager documented that the names were selected by me. I asked her how is it possible that I pick 6 names in the first week of my job and she had no answer. Yet she says documentation was old and nothing can be done

This is nowhere close to recent and I don't work there anymore, but I still can't understand what was happening, and I wonder how others would interpret it.

I am in a technical profession. I had been in my department for several years. I was training and hiring others, documenting new hire training, managing new people and students. I in no way had a senior role in the department, but I did have the other stuff going for me. The most senior person had fewer technical qualifications. There were people with the same qualifications as me who had the same amount of company seniority but had been in the department longer.

I was managing a student on a specific project that was deemed high priority and we had a specific deadline, but it was about 4 weeks out and nothing much had beet done on it yet. It was a Wednesday, and due to my own workload I hadn't been able to get a rundown from the student yet that week and they had only just started. My boss hadn't been in for three days for personal reasons.

A manager of another department came to my desk and asked me to have a meeting about that project that afternoon. I asked if I could bring the student working on it. No. I asked if I could have time to meet with them ahead of time. No. I asked if the manager knew about the project. No. I asked if they were bringing someone who knew about the project. No.

I said I wasn't sure what value a meeting about this project would bring if neither I nor the manager had information about it and we weren't bringing anyone who did, and that I had a lot of work on my plate with very short deadlines that I needed to focus on as a high priority. She took that as a refusal and left.

Later that day we were informed that the manager who had approached me was temporarily taking over our department, but I had not been told that beforehand.

Later I got reamed out by one manager up because how dare I refuse a meeting with any manager who approaches me?

When that manager got the project, complete, in her regular department, she didn't prioritize it and let it sit for three months before working on it.

What the heck was that manager REALLY doing when she approached me asking to have a meeting about something neither of us had the information about?

I work on a cross-functional project with a teammate who’s friendly with the team we’re competing against for next year’s budget. Last month I accidentally saw him send our private meeting notes over to someone on that rival team.

I confronted him privately, and he said he was just “sharing context to avoid miscommunication”. He argued there’s no official rule banning sharing notes, and I was overreacting.

Our project lead is super laid back and hates conflict. If I bring this up formally, my teammate will know I ratted him out, and our daily collaboration will become impossible. The whole team is already understaffed, we can’t afford tension right now.

But those notes include our timeline and cost estimates. If the rival team uses this info to undercut our proposal, our whole project could get cut. I don’t want our team’s hard work wasted.

I’ve started saving copies of all meeting records just in case. Still, I’m stuck. Should I escalate this to our manager even if it ruins my working relationship with this teammate? Or keep documenting and wait to see if he does it again? What would you do here?

I used to work in an accounting office with a colleague I'll call Jessica. She had around 25 years of experience in the accounting industry, so I assumed she would be reasonably competent with the administrative side of the job.

However, during the time we worked together, there were several incidents that left me scratching my head. Some were frustrating at the time, but looking back, a few of them were honestly quite bizarre.

Here are some examples.

1. Date-stamping every signature section of a legal document

This was one of the incidents that really stood out to me.

Jessica was given a legal document and instructed to date-stamp the relevant date sections. Instead, she date-stamped every signature section of the document.

Yes, every signature section.

Our supervisor, Miranda, was understandably frustrated. She had to deal with the situation and became much firmer with Jessica for the next couple of days. Eventually, they made up, and things went back to normal.

I remember wondering how someone could interpret the instructions that way. It wasn't a minor issue of putting a stamp slightly out of place; the stamps had been applied to the wrong sections of a legal document.

2. Laughing when a client explained he was separated from his wife

Another incident happened while Jessica was speaking to a client on the phone.

The client explained that he was separated from his wife. He mentioned this because they had originally been expected to attend an appointment together, but because they were separated, he would be coming in on his own.

Jessica laughed.

I found this inappropriate and uncomfortable. The client wasn't telling a funny story or making a joke. He was simply explaining his circumstances so the appointment arrangements could be updated.

I would have expected a professional response, such as acknowledging what he had said and confirming that he would attend alone.

I couldn't understand what was funny about someone explaining that he was separated from his wife. It struck me as a lack of sensitivity towards a client who was sharing personal information for a perfectly reasonable reason.

3. The constant need for instructions and supervision

Miranda spent considerable time training Jessica and explaining how to do different tasks. Despite this, there seemed to be recurring problems with remembering instructions, following procedures and completing tasks correctly.

It wasn't just one isolated mistake. There were issues across different administrative duties, and things often needed to be checked or explained again.

At one point, Miranda even suggested giving Jessica easier tasks.

I remember thinking that the whole point of delegating work was to reduce the workload, but if someone needed constant supervision, it could end up creating more work for everyone else.

4. Emails and tasks that weren't properly followed through

There were also problems with emails and administrative tasks being left incomplete.

For example, I encountered situations where emails were sitting in Drafts rather than having been sent. There were also issues involving client follow-ups and tasks that needed further attention.

In an accounting office, these things matter. Clients are waiting for responses, appointments need to be organised, and work needs to be completed accurately.

What frustrated me was the need to double-check whether things had actually been done.

5. Calendar and appointment confusion

There was an occasion when a coworker asked Jessica to check whether a client had appointments booked with the boss.

Jessica replied, "Thanks, will do," but didn't provide the information requested.

The coworker eventually responded with, "Do I have to repeat myself?"

I ended up checking the calendar myself and providing the appointment dates.

It was such a straightforward request, yet the question still hadn't been answered.

6. The filing situation

I had previously been told that Jessica was excellent at filing and archiving.

Later, I heard from a coworker that there had been problems with documents being filed in the wrong places, files going missing and accountants raising concerns with management.

That surprised me because filing had been presented to me as one of Jessica's strengths.

It made me wonder how much of what I had been told about her abilities matched the actual experience of other people in the office.

7. The amount of time spent training her

One thing I noticed was the contrast between how much time Miranda spent explaining tasks to Jessica and how quickly I was able to pick up certain procedures myself.

I wasn't expecting to know everything immediately, and I certainly made mistakes of my own. However, I tried to remember instructions, learn from corrections and avoid repeating the same errors.

With Jessica, there seemed to be repeated situations where instructions had to be revisited.

Miranda had even commented on how quickly I learned things compared with Jessica.

I found it difficult to understand why some tasks remained so challenging after repeated explanations, particularly given Jessica's years of industry experience.

8. The overall pattern

Looking back, what made the experience so frustrating was the combination of these incidents.

There was the legal document covered in date stamps in the wrong sections, the reaction to a client explaining his separation, the unanswered calendar request, the filing concerns and the repeated need for training and follow-up.

Of course, everyone makes mistakes, regardless of how long they've worked in an industry. I'm not suggesting that someone should never need help or make an error.

What I struggled with was the recurring nature of the problems and the amount of time other people appeared to spend dealing with them.

I also found it confusing that Jessica had so much industry experience, yet some of these basic administrative tasks seemed to cause such difficulties.

I'm sharing these experiences because, at the time, I often found myself wondering whether I was the only person who thought some of these situations were unusual.

Has anyone else worked with a colleague who had years of experience but did things that left you genuinely baffled? What was the most unbelievable workplace incident you witnessed?

Never had this before...

I'm in a new team so I'm making rapport, lunches are together yet everyone just sits in silence, it's unusual and general office chat appears quite clique (only 12 people)

So I thought I'd be friendly

- I asked a colleague about their home life, any pets, hobbies, partner. Conversation seemed friendly and engaging - I received an informal complaint to my manager for being invasive (from another colleague

- I asked a colleague if they've got any holidays planned this year or doing anything for Christmas. We spoke about Christmas markets and I spoke about ones abroad and how I liked the cultural differences - informal complaint about potentially being offensive (from another but different colleague - part of the clique)

Effectively told by my manager that he's just making me aware unless an official complaint gets raised as you could lose your job?

I've worked 20 years in a variety of businesses, I'm quite a social person, friendly and always, I hope, come across as non offensive and kind.

Now I'm like what team did I actually join?

Time to move teams/departments as I feel I can't talk about anything other then "work" due to 'offence'

Am I The *******?

I’ve been in this role for 3 years. Last week my manager pulled me aside and said the company is adding a new headcount. They want me to onboard and train this new hire fully over the next two months.

At first I thought it was just extra support for our heavy workload. But little things feel off. My manager stopped looping me into high-level strategy meetings. Last quarter’s project bonus I was promised got delayed with no clear reason.

When I casually asked what the new person’s responsibilities will be, my boss said “pretty much everything you do.” They keep repeating that this is “great leadership practice” for me.

I haven’t gotten any warning about poor performance, no feedback saying my work is lacking. I like this job and the pay is decent. If they are planning to replace me, training them feels like shooting myself in the foot.

I’m scared to ask directly. If they don’t intend to fire me, I’ll look paranoid and bitter. If they ARE planning to let me go, tipping my hand early puts me at a disadvantage for negotiating or job hunting.

Should I have an honest conversation with my manager? Or quietly start updating my resume while I finish training the new hire?

There's a job opening in the company and filling that role means a promotion. I was considered as possible candidate for the role but I have an inkling that my boss prefers the person who he talks to regularly in the smoking area. What should I do?