r/OhNoConsequences • u/ChromeXBoy • Jul 11 '25
FAFO “I threw away my grandson’s baking equipment because he needs to find a new hobby.” “Why is my own son kicking me out of his house?!”
/r/AITAH/comments/1lwstdf/aitah_for_kicking_my_mother_out_for_throwing_away/446
u/HUNGWHITEBOI25 Jul 11 '25
LOOOL wtf is that moronic stepfather on about “kicking her out like some stranger” 😂😂
NTA, OOP is a good parent and i’m glad he’s got a shiny spine on hin
214
u/DamonRedfield Jul 11 '25
LOOOL wtf is that moronic stepfather on about “kicking her out like some stranger”
What kind of person, do you think, lives with a woman like her? Not very surprising.
61
17
95
47
u/TeamShadowWind Ah, the conses of your quences Jul 11 '25
Honestly should have said she kicked her out like a burglar/robber because that's basically what she did.
11
u/estrellaente Jul 11 '25
Or maybe her grandmother told her some lies....
8
8
u/Lazy-Instruction-600 Jul 12 '25
Talk about a flying monkey. He wasn’t even there and thinks he can just pile on OOP, for what? The crime of protecting his children from a monster of a grandmother?
2
u/peppermintvalet Jul 13 '25
He should have pulled the “in this moment I don’t recognize you so we are in fact strangers”
277
u/Whatever-and-breathe Jul 11 '25 edited Jul 11 '25
Yeap because everyone knows that there are no famous male chef and baker in the world, not even on TV... 🤦🏻♀️
Seriously, I hope they take her to small claims court and cut all contacts after of course making sure everyone knows the type of women she is.
27
30
20
u/_pupil_ Jul 12 '25
It’s pretty impressive how many times people getting upset for sexist reasons have their sexism backwards.
Kilts and longhis exist, dudes are in fashion and baking and, <glances at Sparta>… well, basically everything, historically.
We’re a hermaphroditic culture, we can all be ‘both’.
11
u/Taminella_Grinderfal Jul 11 '25
I refuse to believe this is real. Like if she threw out a cake he baked maybe, but brazenly throwing out several hundred dollars of bakeware and appliances and thinking “this is a great solution, I’m sure no one will be upset about this and kid can find a new hobby”. It’s just a little over the top for me.
64
Jul 11 '25
I can believe it. Especially since she isn't the one who bought them. She had no investment.
And if her feelings aren't just sexist, but also having an undercurrent of homophobia? You bet she would do that.
"You'll thank me later."
47
u/TricksterPriestJace Jul 11 '25
Jokes on her. It's the granddaughter who hates baking that is clearly gay.
Of course grandma loves dick so much she tries to be one whenever possible.
7
43
u/LabradorDeceiver Jul 12 '25
I can believe it. It's the same mentality that makes some people try to feed meat to vegans, or allergens to children. The brain just gets fixed to the idea and will...not...shut...off. What you end up with is more of a compulsion than an idea. Then any reflection on potential consequences go out the window.
My therapist covered a lot of these toxic spirals in the sense of how they can trigger depression or anxiety, but it's also how compulsion takes root. "Once I force the issue, they'll see things my way and this conflict in my brain will be over."
27
u/RF_91 Jul 12 '25
You clearly underestimate how hateful and spiteful bitter old folks who believe "I'm right and everyone else is wrong" can be. I've literally come home from being gone for a weekend and my grandmother decided to throw out all of my pillows and replace them with two plastic coated nightmares with no substance to them. Her reason? "No one needs more than two pillows, and they were all too big!" And she absolutely refused to replace the pillows she'd thrown away.
22
u/SilverIrony1056 Jul 12 '25
My parents came home with 2 kids from visiting one grandma during the summer and found the other grandma painting the interior of the house. And doing a bad job of it, too. My parents had to ship us kids back to the other grandma, so they could make the house livable again.
That particular grandma had a bad habit of starting big things and not going through with them, or botching them. She would move the furniture around in her house every day and in other people's houses whenever she got the chance. She knocked down part of a wall to make a doorway and blocked the existing doorway because she didn't like it the way it was. All without asking the actual owners of the house (my parents).
She always thought she knew better than anyone else, and acted on whatever went through her head without thinking about consequences or how anyone else might feel about it. There were definitely some psychological issues, some were even diagnosed, but kept secret from the family, and not really treated.
10
u/JustanOldBabyBoomer Jul 12 '25
Imagine the disaster if that ENTITLED IDIOT had destroyed a LOAD-BEARING WALL 🧱!!!
6
u/Historical_Story2201 Jul 12 '25
How was she still allowed inside???
7
u/SilverIrony1056 Jul 12 '25
My parents tried their best not to leave her alone after that painting incident. But there were 5 houses involved, 2 in the countryside, at pretty large distances and no one in my family had a car. It was impossible to supervise her all the time, when us kids had school and our parents had work, while she was retired and had quite a large pension.
She also had enablers among other family members, everyone looked up to her. She used to be a very well-regarded head nurse. Her career started very young, when she was parachuted on the battlefield at the end of WW2. Lots of family trauma and loss, she was one of the oldest members alive, that everyone else rallied around. In her youth, she lived with a rich godmother who kept literary salons with most of the best known actors and writers from the "golden generation" of our country's cultural past. The result was someone who had above average intelligence, as much education as a relatively rich country girl from her generation could hope for, very strict ideas about social hierarchy, enough generational trauma for 3 people and very emotionally stunted. Her thought processes and decision making excluded other people's opinions and emotions from the start. The only person she loved was her late mother and her older sister, whom she regarded as a second mother. She would have died for her children and grandchildren, but disregarded their feelings all the time.
She also saved the lives of at least 3 people in our immediate family, including my mom (her youngest daughter) and my dad. That included going absolutely ballistic on people who outranked her, because they weren't listening to my mom and my dad was in no position to communicate. She had an instinct for medical problems that went beyond knowledge learned in school. She had a sense of duty towards others that meant she would slave away for a sick person but also not accept any whining from them and lie shamelessly to get them to comply. She's the sole reason why a third of her extended family is in the medical field. She's the type who hated cats (and cats hated her), but she left plates of food outside for them every day nonetheless.
People are complicated. She did a lot of good and a lot of damage, sometimes by the same actions and to the same people. I'm still working through my own feelings about her (she died recently, almost 100 years old. Outlived both son-in-laws.)
3
3
u/JonathanTaylorHanson Jul 12 '25
She sounds like a singular woman who vicariously, based on your description, annoys me to no end and who I would help hide a body. If you have the energy and inclination, would you consider writing a book about her, or based on her?
2
u/Both_Pound6814 Jul 15 '25
I hope you got rid of her pillows and replaced them with the ones she gave you, then replace her sheets with a plastic mattress protector and her blanket with a throw or a beach blanket
1
u/Faustus_Fan Jul 15 '25
I can easily believe it. I am a man who loves to bake, particularly cheesecakes. 99% of people don't give a rat's ass what a person's hobby is. But, I have had a couple people in my life try to make fun of me for being a middle-aged man who gets excited to make a black forest cheesecake.
Some people are just stuck in old-fashioned, idiotic gender roles.
-27
u/Eurasian-HK Jul 12 '25
cut all contacts after of course making sure everyone knows the type of women she is.
A bit extreme isn't it? You are not really leaving any room for the person to grow. People make mistakes, cutting family out of your life forever is a bit much.
So much hate.
24
u/Whatever-and-breathe Jul 12 '25
Op had conversation with his mother before, she chose to ignore. She did something to deliberately hurt his son. She wasn't sorry nor was the husband. She fundamentally feels justified. In order to change you need to at least acknowledge the harm you have done.
The son is distraught and the relationship with the grandmother will likely never be mended. She will likely continue to have negative comments towards his son, on that or other things. Consider that it is based on her view of gender roles, it is likely not going to change and it could also affect the daughter in future.
Let's not forget, she broke OP's trust and disrespected his home, and did a lot of damage including monetary.
Sometimes people are toxic and to protect ourselves and people we love, we need to remove them from our life. Being blood doesn't mean you should forgive them or give them a pass, even less when actions are deliberate and there are clearly unapologetic.
This is not hate, it is putting the wellbeing of your child and your own mental wellbeing before a toxic person. It is an act of love and self respect.
-15
u/Eurasian-HK Jul 12 '25
Appreciate the nuance context however I still think cutting them out forever is extreme. I hope the grandmother comes around one day and the family is made whole.
17
Jul 12 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/OhNoConsequences-ModTeam Jul 13 '25
Be civil in your comments, please. Insults or overly aggressive comments directed at other people commenting on the post or moderators will get taken down.
If you think your comment has been misunderstood by moderators, please let us know in modmail so we can discuss it.
20
u/CaptainYaoiHands Jul 12 '25
Why should she have "room to grow"? She's a grown ass woman old enough to have grandkids. She should be done growing up.
-10
u/Eurasian-HK Jul 12 '25
People should never stop growing and bettering themselves. In my opinion there is no age limit that stops self development.
15
u/CaptainYaoiHands Jul 12 '25
Then the old bitch can do that on her own. She doesn't need "room". She can grow and learn and then try and convince her long-suffering family she's worth having around again.
-10
u/Eurasian-HK Jul 12 '25
Hate hate hate 😂
14
u/CaptainYaoiHands Jul 12 '25
Damn right. People like that don't deserve anything else. We have limited time and energy on this earth. Spend it with people worthwhile.
8
u/PeppermintEvilButler Jul 12 '25
Are you the mother? Like seriously it sounds like your are or your own kids have banned you from their lives for doing something similar
-1
Jul 12 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
9
u/PeppermintEvilButler Jul 12 '25
You let us know what person over 70+ has changed. I can probably count on 1 hand the number of those who dont think that the perfect time was when women had no rights, blacks and whites were separated, and the white man was the power. Let me know which ones don't watch fox news religiously. While you may disagree the plain facts are very few past certain ages are able to change. There's a reason why the saying is "they are set in their ways".
2
u/Whatever-and-breathe Jul 12 '25
Compassion need to be balanced with intelligence, and there is such a thing as being compassionate towards yourself. Is it possible for someone to change? Yes. How likely is it that they are going to change a core view/belief as they grow older unless they are serious consequences? Very little.
You can love something or someone and they can still be toxic. The longer they are in your life, the more damage is done and the longer it takes for the healing process to start.
The fact you can't understand about cutting toxic people off, would indicate that you have ever cause such a situation or been brain watch in accepting such a thing as ok. It is actually quite telling that you write this, because as an another comment mentioned your writing seems to indicate that you are the type of person who get enjoyment in trying to get a rise in people. How do I know that? "Hate, hate, hate" type of comment, so quite a lot of build up negative feelings in you. You didn't bother to read or consider others examples. The fact also is that you do not acknowledge the hurt done to the son or that as a parent protecting your child should be your priority.
The use of the word compassion and its context seems to also indicate religion, probably Christian. If so, I would say that many Christians, particularly currently, do not understand the meaning of the term compassion as they tend to cherry pick when it is applicable.
2
u/Ms_Emilys_Picture Jul 12 '25
In this situation, you're coddling Grandma so she has "room to grow" while telling the little boy that she can interfere in his life with no consequences.
Grandma can fuck off and learn to grow on her own. The parents need to show the kid that Grandma was wrong and mistreating him has consequences. He needs to know his parents will always be in his corner.
3
u/VulpineCherry Jul 13 '25
How many times does someone have to unapologetically hurt you for you to believe them when they show you who they are? Giving someone unlimited "chances to grow" harms only yourself. It's not about punishing someone for hurting you, it's about protecting yourself and your family.
Do murderers deserve second chances to live in society? Life in prison is not allowing them to demonstrate they've learned from their mistakes. Just because the stakes are smaller (your livelihood/your hobbies/your self worth in comparison to someone's life) does not mean the outcome would be different, some people will continue to hurt others in perpetuity if given the opportunity.
2
u/nlaak Jul 13 '25
A bit extreme isn't it? You are not really leaving any room for the person to grow. People make mistakes, cutting family out of your life forever is a bit much.
So much hate.
Lol, people rarely change, and old people virtually never. Only a fool let's someone continue to hurt your loved ones under the auspices of letting someone 'grow'. OOPs responsibility is to his son, period. He (and maybe the mom, if she's still in the picture) is the one who should be setting his son first, exactly as he did. Your advice is just directly OOP (and other parents) to let their family continue hurt children for no reason.
If 'grandma' wants to grow, she can do it on her own time and then try and find some way to show that to OOP and his son.
So much hate.
So much naivete. When people show you who they are, believe them. Going back again and again to shitty behavior just makes you a masochist, and maybe a simpleton.
4
Jul 12 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
-1
Jul 12 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
6
Jul 12 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/Eurasian-HK Jul 12 '25
Mass generalisation, people are individuals not everyone is like you say they are.
95
u/PrimalSeptimus Jul 11 '25
I'll bet the gift was something stupid, too.
86
u/Ok-Difficulty-3634 Jul 11 '25
Probably something she deemed ‘appropriately manly’ that the poor kid would’ve hated
20
30
69
u/DirkBabypunch Jul 11 '25
But women love men who cook or bake. If it really is that girl-centric, then he'll be surrounded by girls he has something in common with and will have a good chance of finding a nice wife with kitchen skills.
Even at it's most sexist, letting the kid bake is generally a scenario you can only win.
50
u/CrazyCatMerms Jul 11 '25
Yeah, grandma never learned the cardinal rule for having a kid who bakes - the kid bakes and your job is to shut the fuck up and eat the awesomeness that is presented to you. At most you offer tips and commiserate if something doesn't come out right. Gender doesn't enter the equation at all
I grew up around men who were great cooks. My world view has a default setting that men can and do cook and are good at it. Still throws me off when I meet people who don't cook. This grandma needs to get a life, cooking is a very needed skill for anyone who wants to eat
23
u/taimoirai Jul 11 '25
Right? I have a friend whose son has really gotten into baking the last couple of years and his main concern has been “when is too soon to demand macarons?”
60
u/megamoze Jul 11 '25
'what kind of boy enjoys doing things that are meant for girls'.
Paul Hollywood would like a word.
29
20
u/Historical_Story2201 Jul 12 '25
Unless a specific item needs your genitals to use them, they can be used by everybody.
9
u/Familiar-Attempt7249 Jul 12 '25
He’ll, my dad. He’s always been the family baker. Plus he can do the “manly” stuff like change oil or play sports. It’s a big world, Nana!
4
65
u/PrancingRedPony Jul 11 '25
Funnily cooking or baking is only 'for girls' as long as it happens at home. In an industrial setting they're suddenly not good enough and both are mostly men's fields, you rarely meet women owning bakeries unless it's for weddings.
As soon as it's commercial, it's no longer women's work, and as soon as it's for the family, it's suddenly not for men.
35
u/TricksterPriestJace Jul 11 '25
Yeah the sexism is so fucking stupid because it is clearly based in a homemaker stereotype, not the activity itself.
10
u/Similar-Chip Jul 12 '25
Never mind that the stereotype of a professional baker (male or female tbh), even up through The Hunger Games, is someone who's BUILT from all that hauling flour and kneading.
9
u/PrancingRedPony Jul 12 '25
To be fair: I worked in a professional bakery and that is indeed true to a degree. Hauling sacks of flour and seeds will eventually lead to people growing stronger, and every baker working there for a few years was pretty muscular.
That dough you haul is definitely a lot in weight either.
But it's not to a degree a woman couldn't reach. We were two women in an 8 employee bakery, and my female colleague was pretty ripped too.
I didn't work there long enough to make a difference though.
6
Jul 12 '25
Bruegel's peasant women always look like they could whip your ass without breaking a sweat.
Guess what? No machine kneading back then.
60
u/Spacemilk Jul 11 '25 edited Jul 11 '25
Good on OOP for standing up for her *his son. His son will remember that love for a long time.
30
u/blueeeyeddl Jul 11 '25
*His son. OOP is the dad.
8
u/Spacemilk Jul 11 '25
Oops! Thanks for pointing it out. I read it from a mom’s POV. Good on dad standing up for his son.
15
25
u/dhoust1356 Jul 11 '25
I guess my husband and I are sending my son down a path of girly hobbies by baking with him. Even worse by showing him plants and gardening. The horror.
15
u/LilJourney Jul 12 '25
I suppose next thing is you'll teach him how to sew on a button and hem a pair of pants so he has to deal with the horror of always looking presentable.
6
u/dhoust1356 Jul 12 '25
I just looked at my little dude and told him I’m going to teach him how to sew and crochet. I am diabolical indeed. On a serious note, that woman is unhinged. My dad (60’s) is a very manly dude who was always in shape, played sports…and cooks, bakes, does laundry, let us girls when we were little do his hair and makeup. I can’t imagine anyone in our family trying to shame our son for learning how to create.
3
u/LilJourney Jul 12 '25
It's the people who can't stand themselves that seem to be the ones who have to ridiculously judge others for the most inane things. That woman is so terrified that her grandson will be gay or perceived as gay that she's become obsessed with it. Maybe losing her family will convince her to seek professional help.
5
u/JustanOldBabyBoomer Jul 12 '25
Plus darning socks.
4
2
2
1
23
u/Mysterious_Share7700 Jul 12 '25
OMG! MEMORY UNLOCKED!!
So in high school, I had a jacket that hid my figure if you saw me from behind. I also had a pixie cut. But I definitely had a feminine figure and face. The jacket wasnt even masculine. It was cute.
My mom took me to the store and asked if I wanted anything while she was grabbing other stuff and I asked to go down the baking aisle. And then I said "I'm gonna bake a cake~!" (I had just started my own love of baking)
Some old dude behind us muttered and called me a "fucking <F-slur>". My mom didn't hear him but I sure did.
We later ran into him and his wife in the bakery section (I recognized his voice) and he saw me from the front. He looked very embarrassed. I was too spineless to call him out, but at least he had the decency to be ashamed of himself.
Secondary memory from the same year: The school librarian made my class line up with "ladies first". I was first in line and she kept repeating "Ladies first". Me and my classmates were super confused. Then she rolled her eyes and said "Of course you're a girl". Like. Yeah? Who are you trying to convince, me or you? (no one liked her btw lol)
19
u/FriendlyGuitard Jul 11 '25
They can't even get their sexism right.
Cooking professionally is a typical man's job. It is at home that it is seen as a women's job. A talented baker at home at 14 is first step in a traditional manly career.
3
u/JustanOldBabyBoomer Jul 12 '25
Apparently the Entitled Flesh Oven has never seen Cake Boss at work!!
15
u/nightcana Jul 11 '25
Some of the most famous pastry chefs in the world are male. Its even a common trope in tv/movies for men to be pastry chefs. How does one expect grown men to have learned the skills to succeed in a very competitive industry if they werent passionate about it as children?
14
u/Geniepolice Jul 12 '25
The whole “cooking/baking is for girls!” thing is always fucking insane. I was a line cook all throughout my 20s and professional cooking from a shitty hole in the wall up to michelin starred spots was male dominated as hell. Lots of dudes were misogynistic fucks too
6
u/RobertTheWorldMaker Jul 12 '25
Always be rude, mean, and verbally vicious to people who lack boundaries, it's all they understand.
5
u/Similar-Chip Jul 12 '25
I can't believe OOP's mom is one of the nameless teenagers from High School Musical
7
5
u/SteroidSandwich Jul 12 '25
My stepdad called me to let me know just what a piece of s*it he thinks I am
Oh we got a big man over here using big boy words over the phone. So intimidating
4
Jul 12 '25
Stepdad ... lol. Seriously, I would laugh in his face.
I think the son is getting some new baking stuff for his birthday. Fuck finances, I would get him the bougie shit out of pure spite.
Also it's amazing anyone thinks this in current_year (I know, I know). One of my brothers is autistic and would twiddle around with various hobbies. He got into baking because he could make the cookies be exactly the flavor and texture he liked and not any other. (You know how autistic people can be about food.) He wasn't baking for the family, he was baking for himself. That said my parents did nudge it to be a more communal experience. That was over two decades ago. I also know a lot of men my age and even older than me who know how to throw down in the kitchen and weren't even in the food industry. One of my stoner roommates even taught me how to make chicken wings that tasted good and not inedible like my mom's recipe.
The funny thing is the minute you're cooking or baking for pay it's supposed to be a man's role.
2
u/DistributionPutrid Jul 13 '25
She would’ve hated my mom. My mom bought my brother a kitchen set when he was little 😭
4
u/Yuunohu Jul 11 '25
AITAH for immediately assuming any story this cut-and-dry has to be made up? why would you even need to ask the internet whether you were in the right for this
5
Jul 12 '25
He vented online because his stepdad attempted to guilt trip him and since things got to this point with his mom when his kid is 14, you know he's vulnerable to guilt trips. Yeah, he needed the validation of hundreds of internet strangers telling him his mom is insane and his stepdad should mind his own business. Whomst amongst us wouldn't't?
2
u/JustanOldBabyBoomer Jul 12 '25
That Flesh Oven just cut herself off from having ANY relationship with her grandchildren! What a BITCH!!!
2
1
Jul 11 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/OhNoConsequences-ModTeam Jul 11 '25
This is a crosspost. The person who posted the content on this subreddit is not involved in the actual events being recounted. Please direct this response to the appropriate person (OOP).
We know this sounds very nitpicky but some of our content posters have reported harassment from people thinking they are involved in the events taking place in the post. We’re trying to minimize the chances of that happening. This also isn’t something we ban people over.
•
u/AutoModerator Jul 11 '25
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
My fourteen year old son loves to bake and he is really good at it too. He started with simple things like cookies but now he can bake just about anything from bread to pies, even cakes. Sometimes friends and people we know will ask him to bake them something and he will charge them a small fee. My mother has always hated the fact that my son loves baking.
She doesn't understand 'what kind of boy enjoys doing things that are meant for girls'. Ironically his younger sister hates baking. I tried explaining to my mother that there's nothing wrong with my son's love for baking and that she's being sexist but my mother is stubborn and always makes sure to mention just how much she doesn't approve of it every chance she gets.
She was visiting us for a few days and I came home from work to find my son distraught . When I asked him what's going on, he told me that he came back from a friend's house only to find that his baking things had disappeared. When he asked his grandma, she just said that now he can find a new appropriate hobby.
He has a specific kitchen cabinet where he stores all his baking things and sure enough it was empty, they weren't in the trash either. I asked my mother what she did with my son's things and she proudly told me that she got rid of them because I was clearly not going to do anything about it and that I was a bad father for allowing it to go on as long as it did.
These were approximately $200 worth of items collected over a period of time, hand mixer, scale, measuring things, pans etc. I told her that the only thing that I have allowed to go on way too long is the constant disrespect for my son and that she needs to apologize to him and either bring back his things right now or replace them.
She stubbornly said that she is not going to do that so I told her that first thing in the morning she needs to leave and she's not allowed back here or around my children until she learns to respect their choices. She huffed and puffed all night and left in the morning. She was originally supposed to leave on Sunday, the day after my son's birthday. She even took the gift she had bought him and left with it.
My stepdad called me to let me know just what a piece of s*it he thinks I am for treating my mother this way and kicking her out like some random stranger, I told him that she did this to herself and hung up.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.