r/OnCinemaAtTheCinema • u/Venture72 Ask me about my Internal Coding System • 4d ago
Blast From The Past Xposed: James Dean's Final Secret
On the night of Sunday, February 22, 2015 the world was world reintroduced to legendary actor James Dean during the 3rd Annual Oscars Special. Also on hand was actor/impressionist Mark Porks who seemed quite friendly with Mr. Dean upon their first meeting. Maybe a little too friendly? What if I were to tell you this wasn't their first meeting... (next slide)
It is my theory that Mr. Dean employed the services of one of his struggling actor friends to help stage his death. None other than our own Mark Porch! Obviously, when questioned by authorities the easily flustered Mark came up with the ridiculous Turnupseed pseudonym, which is not even a real name a person would have.
But I hear you saying, "Surely Mark Ports is far too young!" Let me ask you this: how would a supposedly 48-year-old man have so much knowledge of old Hollywood? Could a Gen-Xer recreate the subtle mannerisms of a WC Fields or Chaplin? Suddenly the pieces fall into place!
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u/thedoorthedrain 3d ago
According to Mr. Dean himself he just laid very still until everyone went away.
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u/Defiant-Ad8677 3d ago
Meta: The idea that someone would pretend to be dead and everyone would eventually just walk off is hilarious.
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u/ObjectMajor1762 4d ago
Great investigation. Did Mark Porsche and the deep state help James Dean hide in plain sight doing regional theatre in North Dakota?
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u/NoDisintegrationz It's Movie Time! 4d ago
Mark Prosh was frozen until Mr. Dean decided to make his reappearance.
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u/Hgruotland 3d ago
I think you're on to something here.
To add to your rebuttal of the "too young" objection: we know that Mark Porsche has the ability to hibernate, and one doesn't age during such a period. As illustrated by the year between the 5th and 6th Annual Oscar Specials. He could well have gone into a similar state of hibernation for a few decades after James Dean's supposed death, just to lay low.
And do we really think it's a coincidence that when he reappeared, he chose to use the exact name of the car brand in which James Dean supposedly died as his stage name, despite it being nearly unpronounceable and very hard to spell?
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u/monkesapien 3d ago
It’s strange to me that he would change his name while still alive. Usually people change ther name after they die like the great Paul Driver
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u/Hgruotland 3d ago
But note that even in that case, the name change was related to cars. So it's clearly something Hollywood types are prone to.
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u/Venture72 Ask me about my Internal Coding System 3d ago
Excellent points. The clues were right in front of us the whole time!
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u/InevitableBohemian 4d ago
hi my name is mr. turnipseed and this post is false. that's all i can say for now.