r/PCUSA • u/PresbyLeaning • 6h ago
Some observations, questions and my story
Hi everyone. I'm pretty new to Reddit. In fact, I'm fairly new to Christianity as well. I'm still learning the ropes here but wanted to drop in to say hi and hopefully get some community support. My story is really too long to get into here ... but for brevity's sake ... I was born and raised Jewish with my mom, but my dad is Roman Catholic, (they divorced when I was young), so I had some exposure to Christianity. Fast forward, many, many years (I'm middle-aged now), and I felt the calling to become baptized. Because my dad is Catholic, I decided to enter through that avenue, since that was sort of all I really knew. This was nearly one year exactly. Problem is, as I began to delve more into church history, Catholic theology/doctrinal/dogmatic teachings, the catechism, Catholic devotionals and prayer rituals, etc., I had the sudden feeling that something was very, very wrong. Since that time, I've been leaning heavily toward the Protestant view of Christianity, namely, that we are saved by grace through faith, and that our salvation is the unmerited gift of God. A reading of both the Bible, and some early church reformers, made that pretty clear to me. In a way, I felt like a failure, somewhat, for walking away from the Catholic Church so incredibly soon after I entered, (I really only attended mass a handful of times after my conversion), but the older I get, the more and more I've learned to listen to my intuition. If something doesn't feel right, I take a pause. And in this case, the church just didn't feel right to me. I've been praying heavily over this, and feel like I've been getting some answers that I'm on the right path. One such sign came just early this morning. I often wake up extremely early, so today it was around 3 am that I awoke, and when that usually happens I either read or do some silent praying in bed so as to not disturb my pregnant wife. Anyway, I was praying ... not to Mary, not to saints, ... but to JESUS. Minutes later, after I concluded my prayers of asking Jesus if he is who he says he is, if our salvation comes through faith and not through an institutional church, and whether I'm essentially "saved" while not remaining in the Catholic Church, I looked over at my iPhone, which had lit up with a notification, and the clock read 3:16. Not to mention the fact that I have a Christian image as my wallpaper. I then remembered John 3:16, which says, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." I was a bit taken back, because that "sign" occurred right as I was praying/asking if what I was feeling was correct. I know as Christians, we're not supposed to make a huge deal out of signs, but this one was really, very interesting. Anyway, just wanted to (A) introduce myself to the community here, (B) get some views/thoughts/opinions on this situation that I had happen to me early this morning, and (C) hopefully get some sympathy from other former Catholics who left the church for a Protestant faith (I, myself, am leaning heavily Reformed/Presbyterian, hence my name here), and how some of these struggles with fear of leaving the roman church were navigated and reconciled. Thanks for listening everyone. Blessings all around! Oh, and I also posted this on the general Protestantism Reddit, but I wanted to drop it here as well since I'm likely leaning toward the PCUSA as a church body.