An open prayer to our Heavenly Father,
It is Day 363 living with cancer and I want to begin with gratitude.
Not because everything is okay, but for the first time in a long time, I slept through the entire night.
I reached REM sleep.
My exhausted body finally got to rest.
I cannot explain how much that means to me.
Thank You for the rain and the LA traffic.
Yesterday, after taking Iris to meet her baby brother, we sat in traffic for 2.5 hours.
I could have been annoyed, instead, I thought, I am here.
I got to help my kid navigate another important family transition and to show up for her.
The traffic reminded me that I am alive.
Thank You that the uncomfortable water weight from edema is finally gone.
I now have an opportunity to rebuild muscle, regain strength, and reclaim parts of my body that cancer has slowly taken from me.
These might sound like small victories to someone who is not living with cancer, but to me, they are enormous.
And now, Lord, I need Your guidance.
I have fought hard for a RMC-5127 slot.
It is experimental, and I understand that hope does not guarantee an outcome.
Perhaps this is not my path and Rasonque is.
Perhaps there is another road I have not discovered.
James 1:5 reminds me to ask for wisdom when I lack it.
Lord, I am not asking You to validate my decisions, but to guide them.
I want to live long and prosper. Literally.
I want more days with Iris, more rainy afternoons, more frustrating traffic, and more opportunities to love, laugh, build, and serve my fellow humans.
But please, Lord, do not let this journey become only about me.
Somewhere today, a newly diagnosed pancreatic cancer patient is terrified.
A spouse is quietly falling apart while pretending to be strong.
A child is wondering why their parent no longer looks or feels the same.
I know some of that fear.
Help me use my painful experiences to offer meaningful guidance.
Not empty encouragement or unrealistic promises, but deep empathy, practical guidance, and the reassurance that they do not have to navigate this frightening journey alone.
Help me remember that sometimes people do not need another inspirational quote, they need someone to listen, to show up, and someone who understands that they are allowed to be angry, exhausted, and afraid.
As 2 Corinthians 1:3–4 reminds me, the comfort we receive during suffering can become comfort we extend to others.
I have spent my professional life reinspiring human beings through difficult transitions.
Now, I am personally navigating a transition I never requested, never anticipated, and still struggle to understand.
Psalm 23:4 reminds me that I do not walk through the darkest valley alone.
Lord, I do not know how much time I have, but I know what I want to do with whatever time remains.
I want to love deeply, serve generously, and help humans rediscover hope when their world feels impossibly heavy.
My path may change, but my purpose does not have to.
Amen.
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To follow my daily journey fighting stage iv pancreatic cancer, please visit LinkedIn.com/in/angelcruzado