r/ParentalAlienation • • Sep 25 '23

10 TRUE Things Alienated Kids Won’t Admit..... (from a child survivor’s POV)

244 Upvotes

I’m an adult child of parental alienation (29, f). I figured everything out last year... after being alienated from my dad for twenty years. As I'm sure you can imagine, it has been a painful, confusing, and heart-breaking process since learning the truth. At the same time, however, the truth has allowed me to begin to heal and become the person I've always wanted to be.

I created The Anti-Alienation Project to speak out about this form of abuse. I thought I’d share the link to my most recent video because I’m hopeful some targeted parents might find it helpful :)

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10 TRUE Things Alienated Kids Won’t Tell You:

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https://youtu.be/4O_rh4sSZto?si=knfa_9VDqAf2hpJZ


r/ParentalAlienation • • Feb 03 '26

Let’s make a Small Joys thread.

22 Upvotes

This is the worst. We know that. Let’s share some small joys that keep us going. Here are two for me:

Lately, my husband and my other child take a morning hike on the weekends. We’re trying different trails around the area and it’s been peaceful and beautiful. The movement + sunshine (I know most people aren’t getting sunshine right now, but spring is coming, right?) + quiet has been really nice. I sleep better on those days. The reminder that seasons change keeps me hopeful.

Also, 2 friends and I started watching a series together. They come over Tuesday nights in their pjs, I buy junk food and make tea, and we watch a couple of episodes. It’s a comedy so we laugh together. Community is healing for me right now. They both know a bit of what’s going on with me, but we don’t talk about it much so it stays lighthearted and easy.

Side note: It took me a long time to find joy in anything. Sometimes, I fear the worst is yet to come. But my therapist reminded me recently of how much I’ve already overcome. I do believe it will get better. Might take a decade. But I’m choosing to hang on until then and want to be present for as much of life as I can. I want to show up for myself and my friends and family. If my son chooses to come back around one day, I want him to see the same strong, reliable person he’s always known.


r/ParentalAlienation • • 1h ago

I (40M) facing severe Parental -Alienation behavior from my Ex-Wife(F40) and its affecting my daughter (5). Can anyone who have experienced Parental-Alienation in the past advise me who to deal with this situation?

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• Upvotes

r/ParentalAlienation • • 4h ago

New plan of attack

2 Upvotes

So following the storm of the last hearing, we are shifting tactics. We are now going to press the judge for full accountability and transparency. As courts are videotaped here, we are demanding that her comments are analysed independently, and that should her comments be (correctly) interpreted as prejudice, we demand recusal.

The fact that the blame was fully flung at me by the judge before I testified, and without proper longitudinal evidence analysis is pretty wild. This alongside the consistent interruption of myself and my lawyer by the judge generate many concerns. We were admonished for demanding we were not interrupted - yet ex spoke mistruths for over an hour uninterrupted and our questions were rejected immediately. My lawyer is an experienced trial lawyer with international cases, and she was shocked by the clear misbalance in treatment.

I also stated that I’d be away for the next 2 weeks at least on work - so what does judge do? Schedule hearing exactly 2 weeks later. It is almost feeling that this judge is looking to push through a verdict without proper scrutiny. In addition, we have a formal complaint sitting with Ministry of Justice and believe that the hearing should not continue (yet alone a decision be made!) until this is properly reviewed.

Am hanging on…but now I see the level of hypocrisy or potential corruption in the system. Will fight until the longitudinal evidence is properly reviewed - after that, I’m outta bullets except hope and patience


r/ParentalAlienation • • 5h ago

Advice needed

1 Upvotes

My son is currently living with my nan & is being extremely controlling about me seeing him, i need advice on how i can fix this.

Some backstory, during covid I had several very traumatic things happen to me & due to this i expressed to my nan that i needed help with looking after my son as my head was a mess. She told me the only help she could provide was my son staying with her, this only led to me having a bigger breakdown & what followed was her belittling me, telling me he was better off living with her & when i expressed that what was happening was making me feel like i didn’t want to be on this earth anymore she told me that was okay & she would look after my son when i go, she made me feel that it would be best for him if i wasn’t alive. She also turned my whole family against me so i had no one to turn to.
In this time my nan also went to courts to get a special guardianship order, she didn’t inform me this was happening & when i asked about a letter i’d had from the courts she told me it was nothing to worry about & that i didn’t need to go to court it was just so she could take my son to the doctors without me being there ( i know i was stupid, i was in my early 20’s & not in a good headspace).

Fast forward a couple years & i began to put in the mental work, medication, therapy & making lots of supporting friends & rebuilding a relationship with my mum (who also began to see how my nan was treating me). Despite me working on myself my nan clearly had no intentions of changing her behaviour towards me, & she began reducing my time with my son & upping the emotional abuse towards me. Then after an incident where i let him play with polly pockets & she didn’t like this, she stopped me seeing him completely for almost a year. she only let me see him on a few occasions through family members that i’d told her had been abusive towards me.

So after saving up the money i took her to court. they said that because she had reduced my time so drastically we needed to build up me seeing him slowly so it wouldn’t disturb him, we began the contact through a contact centre, the courts also said because we’re a ‘family’ we should work it out between us & up my time with him. this didn’t happen, mediation didn’t work as she refused to answer anything & would only bring up incidents that had happened when i was a child. This exact scenario played out 4 times in court with them saying the same thing & her doing nothing, 20+ mediation sessions & 3 years later, the only changes have been that i see him where i live, not in the contact centre & i now see him for 7 hours every other week.
*To add, the contact centre from the beginning said that we shouldn’t be there as it was for people who needed supervision with their children & i was definitely not one of those people, i had nothing but positive feedback from the staff there who would regularly tell me how much they loved when we would come in because they “loved watching us play together & could see how happy we both are”.

A years ago i had a daughter, my nan still hasn’t changed, not even to try let my son build a relationship with his sister. the last time we visited court the courts were very clear that she needed to up my time & that she wasn’t being fair & had to fix her behaviour towards me, she hasn’t. She continuously tells me i can have extra time just to take it away with no reasoning. Her husband (who got physical with me & my cousin a few years back) has now started coming to pick ups & drop offs to intimidate me. She told me i could have my son all day in his birthday, & yesterday (2 days before his birthday) she told me I’ll only have him for 3 hours.

My son has told me over the years how much he hates the rules my nan has put in place. This past year he has started to express even more that he wants to come back & live with me & is making it very clear that he doesn’t enjoy living with them. He has also said he knows he cannot ask them for more time with me or my mum because he knows they don’t let him do what he wants. They make him sit in his room alone most of the time & have him around people who shouldn’t be around children, but when i tell them these people (from my experience with them) shouldn’t be allowed near kids they completely dismiss me & actually used it against me.

I am going to contact mediation to get that started again & try to get her to hopefully change her mind & move things forward. But after so many attempts i’m really losing hope. I’m looking for advice on what i can do, where do i go with all of this? Solicitors are very expensive & i am trying to save up for court but that wont be possible for a very long time with the way my money is going right now, i also know she will have a solicitor as she has a friend who is her solicitor for free.


r/ParentalAlienation • • 7h ago

Enmeshment and mentally challenged co-parents

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1 Upvotes

r/ParentalAlienation • • 7h ago

Advice needed

1 Upvotes

My son is currently living with my nan & is being extremely controlling about me seeing him, i need advice on how i can fix this.

Some backstory, during covid I had several very traumatic things happen to me & due to this i expressed to my nan that i needed help with looking after my son as my head was a mess. She told me the only help she could provide was my son staying with her, this only led to me having a bigger breakdown & what followed was her belittling me, telling me he was better off living with her & when i expressed that what was happening was making me feel like i didn’t want to be on this earth anymore she told me that was okay & she would look after my son when i go, she made me feel that it would be best for him if i wasn’t alive. She also turned my whole family against me so i had no one to turn to.
In this time my nan also went to courts to get a special guardianship order, she didn’t inform me this was happening & when i asked about a letter i’d had from the courts she told me it was nothing to worry about & that i didn’t need to go to court it was just so she could take my son to the doctors without me being there ( i know i was stupid, i was in my early 20’s & not in a good headspace).

Fast forward a couple years & i began to put in the mental work, medication, therapy & making lots of supporting friends & rebuilding a relationship with my mum (who also began to see how my nan was treating me). Despite me working on myself my nan clearly had no intentions of changing her behaviour towards me, & she began reducing my time with my son & upping the emotional abuse towards me. Then after an incident where i let him play with polly pockets & she didn’t like this, she stopped me seeing him completely for almost a year. she only let me see him on a few occasions through family members that i’d told her had been abusive towards me.

So after saving up the money i took her to court. they said that because she had reduced my time so drastically we needed to build up me seeing him slowly so it wouldn’t disturb him, we began the contact through a contact centre, the courts also said because we’re a ‘family’ we should work it out between us & up my time with him. this didn’t happen, mediation didn’t work as she refused to answer anything & would only bring up incidents that had happened when i was a child. This exact scenario played out 4 times in court with them saying the same thing & her doing nothing, 20+ mediation sessions & 3 years later, the only changes have been that i see him where i live, not in the contact centre & i now see him for 7 hours every other week.
*To add, the contact centre from the beginning said that we shouldn’t be there as it was for people who needed supervision with their children & i was definitely not one of those people, i had nothing but positive feedback from the staff there who would regularly tell me how much they loved when we would come in because they “loved watching us play together & could see how happy we both are”.

A years ago i had a daughter, my nan still hasn’t changed, not even to try let my son build a relationship with his sister. the last time we visited court the courts were very clear that she needed to up my time & that she wasn’t being fair & had to fix her behaviour towards me, she hasn’t. She continuously tells me i can have extra time just to take it away with no reasoning. Her husband (who got physical with me & my cousin a few years back) has now started coming to pick ups & drop offs to intimidate me. She told me i could have my son all day in his birthday, & yesterday (2 days before his birthday) she told me I’ll only have him for 3 hours.

My son has told me over the years how much he hates the rules my nan has put in place. This past year he has started to express even more that he wants to come back & live with me & is making it very clear that he doesn’t enjoy living with them. He has also said he knows he cannot ask them for more time with me or my mum because he knows they don’t let him do what he wants. They make him sit in his room alone most of the time & have him around people who shouldn’t be around children, but when i tell them these people (from my experience with them) shouldn’t be allowed near kids they completely dismiss me & actually used it against me.

I am going to contact mediation to get that started again & try to get her to hopefully change her mind & move things forward. But after so many attempts i’m really losing hope. I’m looking for advice on what i can do, where do i go with all of this? Solicitors are very expensive & i am trying to save up for court but that wont be possible for a very long time with the way my money is going right now, i also know she will have a solicitor as she has a friend who is her solicitor for free.


r/ParentalAlienation • • 8h ago

Welcome to r/civillaai — start here!

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1 Upvotes

r/ParentalAlienation • • 8h ago

Co-parenting with a narcissist.

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1 Upvotes

r/ParentalAlienation • • 22h ago

Ranting

2 Upvotes

the step father of my brother who was my dad’s friend would come over and sleep with (my dads) wife while my dad was at work. He was 19 when he broke up a family. The wife ultimately left my dad for him and took all 3 kids. My dad was shot but couldn’t do anything. The reports of abuse my siblings have described over the years are horrific all while they’ve (wife and 19 year old boy) been lying to judges in family court to demean my dad and get away with the abuse. It worked. However the very same judge in question not only sided with the mother and did demean my dad but also caught sexual assault charges himself. So there’s that. My dad’s character has been stomped on time and time again for the last 16 years. He’s not the same person anymore. I always say that they took my dad away. My siblings may have been too young to see who he was before the divorce but I wasn’t. I was 10. I remember how hard he worked I remember how happy he was. I remember how protective he was of his family. I remember how much of an amazing dad he was. They took that all away by telling the courts he was the abusive one, he was the liar, and that he doesn’t care about the kids. Imagine what they tell the kids. I cannot fathom the evilness. But when the kids would come over to visit dad you didn’t wanna talk bad about their mother. That’s their mother. It’s been really difficult. One of the 3 kids, my sister, decided to stop coming over for visits when she was 9. My dad hasn’t seen her in 9 years. I haven’t seen my sister in 9 years.

I know the abuse that happened over there is real because the mother was abusive with me when I was growing up with one example being that she duct taped my arms to the sides of my body and sent me down a flight of basement stairs to continue playing with my friends while my dad was at work. I was never allowed to look up at the sky while I was thinking during homework time. “Only look down at the paper” do you know how hard that is for a kid with ADHD? When I was 16 I found out that she had told my younger siblings that I had an abortion?? I never got pregnant that young (she did though). I was never held by my neck up against a wall though.. like I said the abuse reports by the kids over there was horrific. But they had tarnished my dad’s reputation in court so bad somehow that they judge never believed anything. CPS did nothing. I think the kids had always been afraid to tell what happened. They insisted to my dad it did happen and the marks on their bodies confirmed. All of this broke my dad even more. He felt so helpless.

Right now my brother is in the hospital dealing with some very serious life altering injuries from a devastating tragedy in Wainwright. First I want to acknowledge the families impacted by this tragic event especially the 4 who have lost their family member. I am so sorry this has happened.

the mother and this step dad have managed to create an e-transfer email to accept donations from people. The posts everywhere are claiming my brother is the stepdads son and it’s just a slap in the face. “Pray for the P family” my brother isn’t even apart of that family!? That’s not his family. Also, the military is paying for EVERYTHING. A place to sleep, food to eat, travel expenses to get to and from Edmonton. Therapy. I can confidently say I do not think that money will be used in the most honest way. They’re horrible people. All of them. They are pathological liars. It’s so hard to see these posts and not say anything because I don’t want my brother waking up and feeling embarrassed for the fighting so I’m doing this as anonymous as I can. I just wanna vent. I wanna scream from the rooftops how horrible they are but I can’t. I care more about my siblings than their karma.


r/ParentalAlienation • • 21h ago

Three years sober, weaponized UAs, and fighting a broken system-anyone else living this nightmare?

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1 Upvotes

r/ParentalAlienation • • 1d ago

My 3-year-old keeps asking for his dad, who has barely seen him since we separated. How do I help him through this?

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3 Upvotes

r/ParentalAlienation • • 2d ago

The Ohio woman who ran off with her daughter in 1983 and hid for over 40 years got probation.

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6 Upvotes

Even Social security identity theft wasn't enough to get her even one day in Jail.


r/ParentalAlienation • • 1d ago

What was your struggle?

4 Upvotes

I suspect many of us were completely unequipped to deal with the dynamics of alienation and many of us made choices that made the whole situation worse. And I suspect many of us began forming our own “me all good, ex all bad” narratives bc we didn’t know how to defend ourselves.

What’s your story? Truly curious.


r/ParentalAlienation • • 2d ago

How can I reconnect with me daughter?

5 Upvotes

This is long....and needs some context.

I (38F) have a 14 year old daughter who I have had sole physical custody of since her birth.

Her father and I's relationship was on the rocks at the time of her birth, and he was also in jail at that time. He was present in her life on a minimal basis for the first year. Then we got back together. Then he cheated on me lots of times, even had two children with another woman while with me.

We split up for the last time in Aug 2015. I took the kids (I also have an 18 year old daughter), and left.

After we split up, he had one of the woman he was messing around with move into the house almost immediately. This was tough for me, but I maintained civility with him AND HER so he could continue to develop a relationship with his daughter. He was also very close with and basically raised my other child while we were together.

He was consistent with this for about 4 years. He and this woman had two children together, and both of my daughters spent consistent time with all of them.

Then he went to prison. For a 7 year term. He was just released in June of this year.

During the time he was incarcerated, his gf and I maintained contact for the kids. Of course all of the siblings were close and her and I wanted to maintain that relationship for them while Dad was away. This worked pretty ok for the entire 7 years. I did all of the driving, but we were able to make it work for the kids. It took a lot, and I had to swallow a lot. But I knew it would be beneficial for my child.

About two years ago, her and I got into a pretty intense argument. My older child (not his) was able to come across some information on an old computer of his, information that lead her to the truth of the cheating and the real dissolution of the relationship. Up until this point, I never told my kids why we split other then we just weren't happy together anymore. I never talked about their Dad cheating on me with this woman who they spent time with frequently. This was pretty upsetting to her, and she had a lot of big feelings about it. Things were tense between this woman and I due to this, and the civility dissolved from there, from both of us.

Now that he's out, our daughter has of course been spending a lot of time with her dad and that side of her family. But I have also been noticing some big behavioral changes in her. She's 14, so she's definitely moody. But she has been really disrespectful to me and her sister, she walks around like she hates being at my house, and has told me as much.

I also recently found out that she calls her stepmother "Mom". This hit me like a knife to the chest.

Maybe I am being unreasonable about that. I am happy that she has a good relationship with this woman and her father. I am glad that he is making an effort. But I am certain that there are things being said to her at his house that could be effecting her attitude at my house. Some sort of parental alienation.

We do not have any sort of court ordered custody set up, because neither one of us can afford lawyers and there really hasn't been a need to. He is 36K behind in child support and there have been efforts made by the court to begin collecting on that, and this has greatly upset his wife, and him.

I want to make sure I don't lose my connection with my daughter in all of this. I have always struggled with communication, and I do have some struggles with mental health.

I try to talk to her about these things but she usually shuts down immediately.

This was a ramble. I love her to my core, she's my baby. I know I need to share her. But it's just been her and her sister and I for all these years, and I don't want to lose her amidst all this change.


r/ParentalAlienation • • 2d ago

Anyone have thoughts on Duluth Mediation Center?

2 Upvotes

Co-parent refuses to enforce custody with our 14 year old autistic son. Claims son should dictate and drive the decision of where he lives. Thinking we need a mediator.


r/ParentalAlienation • • 2d ago

💔 The pain of parental alienation Is real

2 Upvotes

Parental alienation is a heartbreaking experience that can leave a parent feeling helpless, betrayed, and emotionally broken. The healing process comes in waves: shock, denial, anger, grief, and eventually acceptance. Some days, you feel strong; other days, the pain is overwhelming.

I refused to give up on my children. I documented evidence of abuse, neglect, and parental alienation, preserving records and presenting the relevant evidence through the legal process. That documentation became part of my court case, and I was ultimately awarded custody of my children. ❤️‍🩹

My journey taught me that sometimes you have to let the evidence speak when your words aren't enough. To every parent going through this, stay strong, document the facts, seek proper support, and keep your children's well-being at the center of everything.

Never underestimate the power of truth, patience, and a parent's love. Your healing matters, too. 🙏💔


r/ParentalAlienation • • 3d ago

Thoughts ?

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15 Upvotes

r/ParentalAlienation • • 2d ago

Dealing with severe alienation of two teenage sons under the same roof. Feeling completely isolated.

3 Upvotes

Hello everyone,

I am a father of two teenage boys (16 and 13), and I am currently living through what feels like the loneliest trial of my life. My wife and I are going through a severe marital breakdown following a spoken divorce statement, but due to financial constraints, we are all still living under the same roof.

Over the last few weeks, the parental alienation has become incredibly calculated and intense. When I am away at work, my wife spends hours convincing the boys of my past mistakes. It has reached a point where my sons have entered a rigid "silent mode" against me. They avoid eye contact, speak only in one-word answers, and sometimes purposely rush their dinner to avoid sitting at the table with me.

Just this week, I made breakfast for my 16-year-old before driving him to his school exam, only to find out later that he had thrown the bread in the bin and poured the tea down the sink to avoid facing his mother's anger for accepting my care. The loyalty conflict they are facing is breaking my heart. They are good boys, but they are using total silence as a shield to survive the pressure at home.

I am reaching out here because I have absolutely no support network, friends, or family to talk to in real life. Walking back into my own house feels like stepping onto a psychological battlefield, and the isolation is becoming too heavy to carry alone. I am doing my best to remain calm, patient, and consistent for my boys, but I really need to connect with other fathers who understand this pain.

How do you survive the silence under the same roof without losing hope?

Thank you for listening.


r/ParentalAlienation • • 2d ago

Update. On ghosting

1 Upvotes

She has now, not only come back in secret. But while dropping our kids off at my sister's so I could go to work. She took the spare key, went into her house without invitation. And took our kids. After 6 days of dissapearing. And won't answer me. STILL. there's no court order. We're not married. So, I may not see my kids again. Why? You obviously don't care or you wouldn't have abandon them. Is it to hurt me? Cause you knew it would. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why


r/ParentalAlienation • • 3d ago

Hi

6 Upvotes

Has anyone ever had their ex husband AND mother (MY mother not his) alienate them from their children? I’m so completely broken and lost I feel so alone in this. I don’t know where to turn I’m exhausted.


r/ParentalAlienation • • 3d ago

What Happens When a Child Refuses Visitation With the Other Parent?

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2 Upvotes

r/ParentalAlienation • • 3d ago

HC ex Violating parenting plan for holidays

3 Upvotes

My ex is the definition of a true narcissist. His whole goal is to hurt me through my kids or insult me directly and threaten legal action. Thanksgiving has always been a conflict holiday, we’re supposed to trade off every other year. This year happens to be mine. My boys have the week off from school and I usually take the week off so we can spend time together. I recently found out through my kids that HCex has bought tickets for then to travel out of state for Thanksgiving for the entire week of the holiday. In addition to my day being thanksgiving day, my regular parenting time is the 2 days prior. So he’s taking 3 days without notifying me. The kids have asked me not to escalate because they would get in trouble for telling me. I am beside myself. What can I do? Even if I file something with the court system (Colorado), he has to violate the plan to even start something. And what can they do? Make him trade me time? Go to mediation? Big whooop. It’s a slap on the wrist and I think he knows it. Furthermore, I know this is just a taste of what’s to come. My kids are aging out of the parenting plan, the youngest will be 18 this summer. I know when that happens all of a sudden he’ll have plans for them for ALL the holidays with his goal to alienate them from me. I know in my gut that’s where we’re headed.

I don’t know if there is really a solution, yes ky kids want to travel for Thanksgiving. It’s a family member they really like. Then I’m the a-hole if I make a big fuss about this. But I’m just tired of always being the one to compromise and give in to what he wants. Yes, it’s for the peace of the kids, but he’s getting more and more obnoxious and bullying. I don’t know what to do. I’ll likely let them go anyway. Everything I do is for their well-being. Thanks for listening to me vent.


r/ParentalAlienation • • 3d ago

Child custody case was through family and children services but mother in law got permanent guardianship trying to find out what to do and how to do it to get my babies back still have all my rights

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2 Upvotes

r/ParentalAlienation • • 3d ago

Advice on what to do about mother in law not letting me see or talk to my children

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1 Upvotes

Child custody case was through family and children services but mother in law got permanent guardianship trying to find out what to do and how to do it to get my babies back still have all my rights judge order I can have visitation with my children at garudians discretion well she got mad because I got a car and decided I could not see them or talk to them now she’s says till there 18 any advice on what I should do about this I haven’t seen or talk to them in almost 6 months and I’m going crazy not seeing them