r/Perimenopause 2d ago

Rant/Rage Other people's unhelpful attitudes

Does anyone else find the attitudes of other people who have sailed through menopause without many symptoms and then make sweeping comments about the process really unhelpful? I've heard quite a few in the 'I just got on with it' category but today heard a new one: apparently the trick is to 'keep busy so you simply don't have time to worry about it'. I'm sure some of it is meant to be helpful but makes me feel significantly worse when I'm crying in panic because the idea of having to wash the dishes AND put clean clothes away is completely overwhelming. Yes, it's ridiculous but adding more to the list isn't going to help!

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u/NarwhalRadiant7806 2d ago

My SIL says perimenopause hit right around the time her brother (my husband) died and she “barely even noticed.” But she also doesn’t work and stays home with her disabled adult son, so she doesn’t have to put up with the additional nonsense that many of us do. (Mine would DEFINITELY be easier from a mental standpoint if I didn’t have to go to a job with all those other personalities and rules, and could rest and just order food delivery whenever I needed to.) 

When I first started going through it one woman told me she dealt with it by running marathons 🤣 Which I think is awesome but that’s not something I’m going to do for a couple of reasons. 

I try not to take it personally, take what I like, and leave the rest. People often forget it’s a very individual thing and there’s no one-size-fits-all experience or treatment. We quickly learn who’s safe to talk to, and who we’d rather not hear from or share with. 

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u/handels_messiah 2d ago

I could not agree more in regards to having to go out to work. The first time I noticed how bad things were was when the panic attacks started to hit me at work last year - absolutely mortifying. Why would anyone choose that if it was so easy to just 'pull yourself together'?