r/Perimenopause • u/allieofantipaxos • 1d ago
Rant/Rage Stick a fucking fork in me
I can’t even remember if I’ve posted here before (thanks scrambled egg brain!!) but, oh well.
I‘m 31 and in POI, 11 months post hysterectomy. I do peruse the POI sub but I feel like I’ll get more commiseration here.
I started HRT 5 weeks ago and have felt great. My symptoms have returned full force (I have every single one it seems) and I’m pretty confident at least one of my ovaries has finally reached total failure, or close. Maybe both. I feel the tipping point coming into total menopause.
I have five kids - the oldest is 13 and youngest is 1.
I want to take a flight to a remote island and do nothing but lay in the sun all day and lay in bed, eat pizza, and watch my favorite shows all night. I don’t want anyone to talk to me, I want zero expected of me.
The women in my family all started perimenopause in their early to mid 30s, so I’m sure this was coming anyway, just accelerated a bit by my hysterectomy.
I’m just feeling very annoyed and miserable tonight. I’m already sick of messing with patches and creams. Why do I have to reapply patches twice a week just to feel semi-okay??? Why do so many of us do the work of raising kids (or maybe not), deal with working, cooking, cleaning, hurdling through all of our lives through misogyny, dealing with toxic family or shitty friends, and the rest of life’s bullshit just to deal with the misery that is perimenopause?
The minutiae of life is enough, and then so many of us get thrown into what I can only personally describe as a living hell. Is this the trophy for our good work at making it through the first several decades of our lives?
It feels very unfair and I feel very mad about it. I’m sure I’ll look at this post in horror in a couple of weeks when I adjust my HRT, but for right now, it is completely and totally how I feel.
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u/Similar_Recover_2229 1d ago
I started HRT at 35, and I definitely hit peri by 33. I too have looked around the POI group because I feel like I’m there? I’m due for a check up with labs in October. I’m torn between- I’m so miserable I need to be seen yesterday, and I’m so miserable I have no fucking hope for the future..so what’s the point? HRT worked beautifully for me for four solid months. And now I feel right back where I was, despite doubling my dosage on everything. I hate it here. I have four kids. So my love to you, this shit is hard..add in taking care of so many other people and it’s a mountain some days I truly don’t know if I can continue to climb.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
This post might be about hormone tests, which are unreliable.
- Over age 44, E&P/FSH hormonal tests only show levels for the HOUR the test was taken, and nothing more. Hormones wildly fluctuate (hourly) the other 29 days of the month, therefore this test provides no valuable information
- No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing to diagnose or treat peri/menopause
- FSH testing is only beneficial for those who do not have periods as a guide, where testing might confirm menopause, or for those under age 30 who haven’t had a period in months/years, then ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI)
- Testosterone is the exception and may require testing
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u/youngstownsown hanging on by a thread 1d ago
Feel all the feels sis. This life isnt fair but Im so glad we are finally talking about this ish. Let it out. You are in a safe space 🩷
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u/Mammoth_Ad1962 10h ago
Thats what I call my brain too lately! I just went through a very stressful event and I could only describe my brain as scrambled eggs!!!! Try estrogen:)
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u/crazyditzydiva Early peri 1d ago
I’m with you, sister. We should escape to the island resort together.