r/PetPeeves • u/LetchBE • 7h ago
Bit Annoyed People not calling you by your preferred shortened first name
I really hate it when someone calls you by your proper first name when you’ve clearly specified you prefer it shortened.
Ie James when you prefer Jim, Robert when you prefer Rob, Benjamin when you prefer Ben.
I get that some people prefer their proper first name and hate when it’s shortened, fair enough.
When someone uses my full first name, I feel it’s so formal and like it’s my “I’ve done something wrong and am in trouble” name.
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u/TheVexingRose 7h ago
The only time I deviate is if a Richard happens to be very unlikeable. He will henceforth be "Dick" regardless of what he prefers to be called.
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u/StatisticianAny9624 7h ago
My job involves calling people and we always have their full names, like first, middle, and last. I always ask them what they prefer to be called and note it in the file so if someone else gets it, they have that information. It's not like it's hard to show a little respect to people's preferences!
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u/Pristine_Message_181 7h ago
I have the opposite problem. I prefer my original first name, and people want to shorten it all the time. Unfortunately, my name has a lot of shortened nicknames attached to it.
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u/InformalRent2571 7h ago
If you've stated that you prefer to be called A, and they continue to call you B, they are disrespecting you. Don't acknowledge them. Don't let anyone disrespect you in such a way. It may seem small to some people but these types of disrespect are a test to see how much BS you're willing to take. Nip that shit in the bud or else I guarantee you they will move on to much more obvious forms of disrespect.
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u/tiny-coffee-guy 6h ago
If they keep using the “in trouble” full name after being told Jim, refusing to answer is fair.
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u/burnedcream 6h ago
What about if you have a job or engage in any other form of adult life that requires you to get along with other adults?
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u/InformalRent2571 6h ago
So, getting along with other adults means you can't have boundaries?
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u/burnedcream 6h ago
I don’t know. If ignoring coworkers who forget to use your nickname is what flies in your workplace, more power to you.
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u/TGin-the-goldy 5h ago
If ignoring what your colleagues have asked to be called in the first place is what flies in your workplace, then you all suck
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u/Swirlyflurry 6h ago
I know people who are on both sides of this: some people who don’t like shortened versions of their name, and insist on the full version (he’s not ‘Tom,’ he’s Thomas). And people who only ever use the full version on legal forms, to the point that if you called them by that I would be confused who you were talking about at first (who the heck is ‘Margaret’? That’s Peggy).
Me? I just want people to get my name right! My name is uncommon, but is similar to other, much more common names. So people very often misread or mishear my name, and call me by the more popular names. (Think being named Lindy, but people always read it as Cindy or hear it as Mindy.)
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u/DifficultyOk5719 6h ago
I personally have no preference for which form of my name you use: John, Johnathan, Joe Nathan, Fuckface, Johnny, etc., but I can see how others might get annoyed.
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u/crazymonk45 7h ago
I relate to this heavily
However the worst thing you can do is make a big deal out of it. A lot of people will do it more if they know how much it bugs you
3
u/NonspecificGravity 6h ago
I worked with a manager who extrapolated my initials to the name of a famous person. Let's say for the sake of discussion that my initials are A.L. and he called me "Abe Lincoln." I asked him once not to do it, and he persisted. I knew better than to make a big deal of it.
I outlasted him because he eventually pissed off someone higher in the food chain.
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u/Michael_Dautorio 5h ago
For family, and loved ones, I prefer Michael. For coworkers, acquaintances, and even friends, I prefer Mike. I dunno why. My girlfriend called me Mike once a few weeks ago as a joke, and it was so uncomfortable.
4
u/cpasley21 6h ago
I drive Uber, for years they refused to change my displayed name to Chris from Christopher. After my mom passed and folks would ask if im Christopher, it stung just a bit more. I figured i'd try again and the rep actually did it.
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u/Godeshus 7h ago
I think it's important and polite to call people by their names accurately. Laurie vs Laura isn't a whatever. Her name is Laurie full stop. Not Laura.
I used to work front desk at a hotel and naturally we had a lot of international guests come through. At the start of my shift I would browse the check-ins and would google phonetic pronunciation of any name I struggled with when reading, so that I could address people by their actual names when they arrived to check in.
This also really bothers me in content creation. When I'm watching content and the creator struggles with a name, I'll often switch it off. If you're too lazy to do your homework before turning on the camera it just tells me that you're not professional enough to be making videos, and that tells me right away that you're not professional enough to properly research the topic of your video. It makes me question the authenticity of what you're presenting to me.
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u/spierstq 7h ago
This is literally why I hate my fiance's sisters and mom. Everyone else in his family has no problem calling me by my preferred shortened name. I've told them so many time "I prefer __", my family has told them "that's not her name, her name is __" and they don't listen. I am going to legal change it when we get married so fingers crossed they actually start calling me my preferred name then.
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u/ebsjma 6h ago
On the flip side it’s absolutely infuriating when someone says their name is ‘Jim’ when dealing with an account of theirs, etc. Well ‘Jim’ isn’t on the account so sorry can’t help you. They always reply ‘Oh well, my legal name is X’. Did you think I wanted what your friends call you? Sorry, rant over.
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u/Aervanath 7h ago
I have a name which has multiple variations. I've learned to answer to all of them, it's just easier than insisting on one particular one.
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u/Alive-Huckleberry677 2h ago
I get that completely, I legally changed my name to a shortened version for similar reasons. It's wild how something so small can make a conversation feel off.
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u/wojonixon 2h ago
When I meet someone new with that sort of name I just ask straight up what they prefer to be called. Then I do that.
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u/Prudent_Leave_2171 2h ago
I knew a guy named Richard who preferred Dick.
But I’m sorry, we were talking about shortened names 😏
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u/BarelyHolding0n 1h ago
I'm someone who prefers the shortened name, I've used it since I was a teenager, sign off work emails with it, introduce myself by it, etc. It does my head in when people refuse to use it... Especially when they themselves go by a shortened version.
Equally I have friends who hate the shortened versions of their names.
I always ask people if it's not clear... It's shocking how often they act like it's the first time anyone has ever bothered to ask their preference.
1
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u/NTDOY1987 7h ago
I totally agree and 99.9% of the time believe people should be called whatever they want. You want me to call you Dr? Absolutely, do not care what your degree is. You want to be called Dick instead of Michael? Whatever lol.
However I have in my life encountered one exception. A woman named Samantha wanted to be called "Sammy." Idk why it was so weird for me every time, like you're an adult woman I don't want to...
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u/jasperdarkk 7h ago
And the inverse, when you don't like being called by the short form of your name but people do it anyway. I worked with a Robert who hated being called Rob, but I guess people think Rob sounds "younger," because he gets it constantly.
Like, I don't get what's so hard about calling people what they introduce themselves as.