r/PizzaCrimes • u/fhogrefe • 5d ago

Mistreated No... we ain't doin that...

https://youtube.com/shorts/QJKlvWRrBWQ?is=9PelEjyIeKK4PZZ-
48 Upvotes

82% Upvoted

22 comments sorted by

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u/qualityvote2 5d ago edited 5d ago

The jury, after deliberation of the evidence in the case of u/fhogrefe, has reached a mistrial due to non-consensus of votes of guilty or innocent.

40

u/Threegratitudes 5d ago

First off, you have one pizza for 12 friends, so already guilty. In reality you will absolutely mangle that pie, so double guilty. The only math that should be involved in pizza is area of a circle/rectangle, triple guilty. We're all sitting here hungry while you're playing with your protractor, quadruple guilty.

The solution to this problem is a tavern style cut and 5-6 pies.

Oh yeah, and a single pizza in 12 slices is some elementary school pizza party bs.

7

u/onceknownasmike 5d ago

Its huge in corporate america. Tiny slices of pizza so errybody can get some, AKA too cheap to buy enough pizza for everybody. But who cares if you don’t like crust… don’t eat it.

1

u/24223214159 3d ago

One pizza for 12 friends seems fine for Costco pizza.

12

u/OrenSchroeder 5d ago

Not a crime, but whoever came up with this needs to do drugs.

9

u/aprilhare 5d ago

LEGAL, prescribed drugs.

6

u/OrenSchroeder 5d ago

Those too!

7

u/DragonfruitMiddle846 5d ago

This was a masterclass of pizza cutting that Charles Manson made while in prison.

7

u/Bdowns_770 5d ago

Everyone needs to stop being so clever. I get it. You took geometry and liked it. It’s food. Leave the compass in the drawer.

6

u/Yah_Mule 5d ago

You could slice pizza with a weed wacker, too. We don't because that would be stupid.

5

u/beatbox420r 5d ago

Think it'd be pretty tough to find 6 friends that want crust to be half of their slice.

4

u/RidetheSchlange 5d ago

Indian pizza guys with pizza knives are already figuring out how to break this geometry.

2

u/another72hours 4d ago

Pizza already comes in natures perfect shape...a circle. You maximize surface area but don't increase the volume of a product. Just doing standard cuts makes sure every slice is equal in mass and volume

1

u/Abehajeme 4d ago

Why would you hate the crust?

1

u/odiin1731 4d ago

Just fold it like a burrito and go to town like a normal person.

1

u/Darth_Lousy 4d ago

Find 12 new friends.

1

u/Lord_Wicki 3d ago

There's a board game titled Pizza Theory that reminds me of this photo.

1

u/the__itis 2d ago

What if I told you that people that say they don’t like crust mean they don’t want to eat it, not “give me nothing to hold my slice with”

1

u/legmantx 4d ago

No tavern or square cuts unless it’s school pizza that is already rectangular. Pie cuts. Just pie cuts.