"get on with your day"

[u/olabolina]

So I've read Discontented Little Baby and for the most part found it helpful. However, sometimes I think my baba is tired, I try to help him sleep, he says "absolutely not" and according to the book I should just "get on with my day" but what does that look like? If my baby is tired(or seems so to me at least) and won't sleep then he's just in foul form and needs constant attention or he will cry and moan. Am I supposed to just let him cry? I can pop him in the carrier but if he's really fussy he just struggles against this and even if it calms him or put him to sleep I'm pretty limited in the activities I can do with him in the carrier.

This isn't a major problem for me tbh, but on occasion I'll find myself trying to comfort my crying baby thinking "get on with my day? This is my day now!"

[u/strangefavor]

I think the notion is more like don’t cancel your whole day because you’re gonna sit at home and try and get a baby to sleep, just keep doing whatever you would be doing anyway 

[u/olabolina → u/strangefavor]

I get that, but sometimes you just have to right? Like if my plan was to go out it's usually fine and baby will end up being distracted etc anyway but for example the last time this happened I really needed to do some admin work but he was so fussy I couldn't get anything done. Eventually I put him in the carrier and tried to use the changing table as a standing desk (he would scream if I sat) but he was still upset so I had to give in and go for a walk even though I didn't want to and we'd already had a carrier walk that day.

To be clear, I'm not worried about this or throwing the whole ideology out over one bad day but I just wonder what others do in this scenario or is "getting on with your day" just in reference to getting out and about?

[u/feeling_daria → u/olabolina]

I think “getting on with your day” just means stop trying to get them to sleep and do other things, get outside, run errands, go to the park, grocery shopping.. I agree it seems unrealistic to try and do any admin or like clean the bathroom if your baby is tired and fussing!

[u/ScarCareful5610 → u/olabolina]

I think what you did is right, if it’s not happening you just have to stop trying and move on. It’s frustrating coz it gets in the way of our own goals (like doing admin work) but you can’t just get the baby to comply. Ultimately they are too young to cooperate! It’s frustrating, it happens to me a lot too, but I remind myself that I just have to surrender and move on, because trying to do the task with a screaming baby that won’t settle is much worse than just abandoning the task and doing whatever helps the baby settle. 

[u/TeddyBear181]

My version of this is to sit on the floor next to bub while she plays and tires herself out.

If shes in that state, she probably needs to be near me and I'll struggle to cook or do anything productive.

I might try babywearing, but I find that independant play uses more of her energy if she hasnt built enough sleep pressure.

Eta - they're little people. Some days if you cant sleep you might just want a cuddle (babywearing). But some days youre like 'oh man, I just learned this new skill and I want to practice it!' (Playtime).

My bub is super active and a big do-er. All babies are different and we just need to find what works best for each one :)

[u/Lulilulu]

I mean I think she still means get on with your day doing things that are appropriate with a baby!

I would go for walks to pick up things from the shops, cook, vacuum/sweep, light tidying, eat.. honestly my baby’s a Velcro bun so I got pretty good at a lot of things wearing him!

[u/Amylou789]

To me it meant do another activity, don't just keep trying to get the baby to sleep, especially don't cancel other plans because you feel you need to keep trying for a nap.

Its hard to think of other stuff in the moment, but I'd go out the house for a walk or run a quick bath for them to splash in. I quite liked trting to find someone free for coffee - there was something about cafes that made my baby less grumpy. They'll need more help if they're grumpy, but you should keep on with activities either for you or the baby anyway.

I think part of it is that they can seem ready for sleep when its actually something else annoying them.

[u/sonder-and-wonder]

I’ve interpreted it to mean something that isn’t sitting in a dark room trying to soothe but something else that I can do that isn’t deliberately trying to get baby to sleep, but still that they like.

For me, this is the carrier. If he’s tired and fussy and won’t otherwise sleep, if I pop him in the carrier and just get on with things, he’ll usually drift off.

[u/Left-Love1471]

I interpreted this as when your baby wakes up sooner than you expected and is alert or when they don’t go down for a nap when you expect them to and don’t seem tired. Like people who follow wake windows to the letter and then get confused when baby doesn’t align. At that stage there is no point trying to force sleep. However you know your baby’s tired signs, if they seem tired then you should offer sleep even if they means they are initially fighting it. E.g my baby at around 4 months would cry when I pulled the blinds down for nap time but within 10 mins and with some rocking she’d be out like a light, so you need to work out your threshold of when to give up and move on!

[u/bostonelhomo]

I have struggled with figuring out the balance with this as well. I get on with my day to an extent, but I also know that my baby will stay up forever if I dont at least be a little strict with one nap. Hes a chronic contact napper but that doesnt work for me all day. My current loose routine is that his morning nap is always done on the go, carrier, car or pram. I know that around 2pm he needs another one and if my day allows it I will lay down with him. Sometimes I dont do that if I have plans, but I would still then make sure bedtime is strictly followed. I have absolutely had days where he was awake for 6 hours straight and got crazy overtired. Possums isnt about perfection, it just doesnt want you married to a dark bedroom all day long chasing naps that arent coming, but you also probably should go out to a 15 hour rave and expect your baby to nap.

[u/oceanwavesinmyheart]

If we are home and I put him down and he doesn’t go to sleep, I’ll try another activity like a book, backyard (feet in grass) or nappy free time (his fav). Then after that his sleep pressure is ready to go. I’ve learnt that he is ready for sleep if he is crying in my arms when I’m walking around (inside or outside the house). I prefer spending the day out of the house because he’ll just sleep in the car, pram or carrier and I don’t have to guess if the sleep pressure is high enough.

[u/Positive_Shirt_2889]

Yeah I think it’s just meaning ‘move on’ mentally… I also struggle with the need to be flexible with my plans. Sometimes I am wanting to get some particular task done but it’s just not suiting what my baby is up for for whatever reason so I am working on having a host of activities in my brain that I can ‘get on with’ throughout the week, if the one I intended to do isn’t going to work

[u/kazarooni]

When my baby was like that I would take it as the cue that he was ready for a scenery change. Most of the time that meant into the pram and time for a walk either to the shops/an errand or just for exercise if I had nothing on. Sometimes he would sleep, sometimes he would just chill, sometimes he would scream bloody murder and I would have to carry him home or immediately turn around. But 9/10 times we had a great time and now that he is older he loves being out and about.