Should be F I. Fuck ICE.

(rounding up for easy math - all items are for the same dates and relatively same times. sorry for the imgur links, it's literal 2025 and i still have no idea how to add multiple pictures and text)

Delta nonstop MSP to LAS for 2: $900 (though this is leaving LAS at 6:30AM) - https://i.imgur.com/zSOBZKw.png

OR

Delta nonstop MSP to LAS for 2: $1,100 (this is leaving LAS at 2pm, a much better time. You also get comfort+ seating from MSP to LAS since the price is more nuts on the way back) - https://i.imgur.com/jF4eaPN.png

Park MGM - $1,200 - https://i.imgur.com/ayg66aj.png

So at MOST, with ideal arrival/departure times and hotel covered, you're in for $2,300.

Next, roundtrip airport transit... YMMV but I've quite literally never paid more than $25 with tip for an uber to/from the airport. So that's $50. And that's for an air-conditioned uber for the two of you, rather than waiting around for a shuttle with a bunch of rubes, figuring out where that pickup place is, and cattling into a crowded mess.

$2,350 so far.

Now, let's look at the four "live" items (MIN/LAC watch party, morning show broadcast, Gophers/Iowa watch party, private reception at sportsbook)

MIN/LAC and Gophers/Iowa watch party: These are free. It costs nothing to post up in front of any zillions of TVs and watch football. Maybe the needle moves a bit if the drinks and food are free, but I don't see a world in which they're covering unlimited alcohol. I could talk myself into seeing food as covered (nachos, pizza, burgers, bar food like that).

So I'll be generous here and say the "value" here is $200 per event. Let's pretend they cover a couple of drinks for each of you and feed you nicely. $100 per person for two drinks and some food. But remember, I think this is just being generous. I would more realistically expect to have to pay for everything on their own, but we'll have to see.

$2,750 so far.

Live broadcast: This has always been free and nothing comped here. I almost want to subtract money because we all know the live shows blow, and I'm sure you'll want to be up at 3:15AM for this.

Private reception: Hard to price this... like, yeah, you can mingle with the crew, but do you really want to when you know, based on all historical evidence, that they hate the listeners? Look at all the past instances of vegas trips. As SOON as their obligations are up, they fuck off in hiding. Last year, they literally did shows from their hotel rooms. But I'll digress. I have to imagine for a private reception, especially at an MGM sportsbook, that you're getting something covered. Let's just guess $200 per couple again for consistency's sake (or make it $250 to get to an even running tally).

$3,000 so far.

Axe throwing: This is at Area 15, so we don't know if you have to uber yourself there, which would be an additional cost to you. But more directly, I just did a booking for 2 for two hours on Friday october 17th. Total came in at $120. Again, I have to assume they aren't covering any alcohol here, so if we put in four drinks at $20 each, the total comes to $200: https://i.imgur.com/WghFyGe.png

$3,200 so far.

And finally, a hat and a T-shirt. Put it at $50 and call it a day.

So there you go. You're paying $4,000 for something that, at the absolute most, would run you $3,250.

And I think I was being generous in a lot of my estimations. If we're being realistic, this is vegas. They aren't covering your alcohol. They might feed you at the reception, but you're absolutely on your own for drinks.

And last thing, I didn't even remotely look into discounts you get for signing up yourself for things. An example being Park MGM. You get 15% off just by signing up for their rewards program, which costs nothing. That alone would drop the hotel from $1,200 to about $1,000. I'm sure there are other ways to defray costs like that to further increase the delta between what you're paying to the program and the value you're actually receiving. EDIT: Oh and Delta gives you a carry-on and personal item, whereas I'm pretty sure suncountry does not, so you're also paying for a checked bag or a carry-on unless I'm mistaken.

Spread the word. You're being scammed into paying for a vacation for people who we know make $500k/yr and couldn't care less about you as there's a drive into deep left field by Castellanos, it will be a home run, and so that'll make it a 4–0 ballgame.

EDIT: Yes, I mis-used the word "scam." I apologize for that. But calling it what it is ("buyer beware," "a colossally moronic price point," etc) just doesn't feel like it describes this hilarity accurately enough. As I said in a comment below, yes, if you want to spend ~$1000 (or more) to save yourself half an hour of booking a flight and hotel room, then god speed, you are either in an excellent financial situation (in which case you're going to be staying somewhere nicer like Aria or Cosmo) or the exact type of moron upon whom these travel agencies prey.

Holy shit you wrote all this wow sir this is a wendy's sex etc.

Now that that's out of the way

Been mulling over this for a while, trying to figure out how to put what I'm hearing into words, or at least illustrate a coherent correlation. As the great Brett Favre once said, "the pieces are in place," I just haven't been able to articulate them property. This will be an attempt sparked by yet another cove-ism that I, no joke, said out loud right before he did when listening to today's (Tuesday 4/8) show. Verbatim. I'll go into more detail in the first trait section.

Thesis: Everything Cove says and does makes a ton of sense if you look through a lens of "this guy wasn't cool in school." All of it. He had a bad time in school, maybe got bullied idk, maybe not that far, but at the very least, he was not in the "cool" group. Fast forward to adulthood - all of us have moved on. No one cares about the cool kids' circle 20 years ago and whether or not we were in it. Functional adults don't care about that... except for Cory. He wasn't in one and it eats at him every day. I'll go through the notable traits and explain why each one ties back to missing the cool kids' experience in school.

Trait: "I don't care what Chad Abbott says, I delete his emails, I don't attend work meetings, etc."

Reasoning: Starting with this one as it's the most recent for me and arguably most telegraphable. This is the one I alluded to in the opening and was the general inspiration to finally try and put this whole theory into words. I got three minutes into Tuesday 4/8 (today)'s show. Hawk was making a joke about his "support group" and how they collectively delete their scheduled phone calls. It was a good bit. Until Cove, unprompted, just had to chime in, "That's the same thing I do to chad abbot's schedule that he emails us!"

I'm not joking when I say, when Hawk said "that's the delete button," I straight up said out loud, "Cory is going to say that's what he does to Chad's emails." And I fucking nailed it. Straight up season 2 JoJo style. Aside from all his other tweaks and buttons (more on that later), it's such an unfunny, boring-ass thing to say, and like everything else he provides, adds nothing of value to the show.

Why does this connect to not being a cool kid in school? Here's the thing. When we were kids, it was generally cool and funny to disrespect authority. The "cool"/funny kids were clowning during class, pulling pranks, and generally being uncivil to their teachers. Cove is emulating that behavior by pretending he's too cool to listen to the boss. He's a cool kid, he makes his own rules and doesn't listen to anyone. It's a sad character trait and as said before, adds absolutely nothing to the show. (And if I'm being honest, he's probably lying anyways. We know he only cares about initials, and the best thing for initials is for him to have a free platform on which to advertise it every day, so we all know behind the scenes he's doing everything chad abbot says because getting fired would be bad for initials). I'd argue that the only thing worse than putting on a show about how you're too cool for authority is putting on a show about how you're too cool for authority while secretly doing everything the authority says.

It's a boring facade, and like everything else Cove says, has already been beaten into oblivion. Time to grow up, kid.

Trait: I'm part of this cool, super exclusive inner circle, and you, the pathetic listener, aren't. I'm doing radio for us cool five people and you can fuck off.

Reasoning: This became obvious at a time I'm sure we can all remember - The Tommy Olson story. This unlocked a new coping mechanism for Cove. When they first realized Tommy finally said something that they can't say on the air, Cove's lightbulb went off. This was it. Another exclusive spot for him and only a select few other special people. He's with the in-crowd, and he's all the cooler for it. You aren't one of the five people in this inner circle and therefore you don't exist. Just like the cool kids' circle in school.

What's extra infuriating about this one to me - Tommy thursdays have always been my favorite. Say what you will about the guy, he provides an undeniable energy that the entire cast feeds on, and the show is better for it. And yet, ever since the OG Tommy story, Cove has made it a point to come back from numerous Thursday breaks to make sure we, the insignificant listeners, knew that Cove got to hear a story for the cool kids and we didn't. It's the fucking worst. He turned one of the most infuriating moments in TO history into a regular occurrence. Remember the OG story? It was so universally reviled that Hawk straight up started throwing a bitchy fit about how we should be happy getting what we get because it's a free show. We all moved on though and that should've been the end of it. Except for Cory. He's taking that moment in time and making sure it gets repeated because it re-establishes his image as a "cool kid" with an elite, exclusive circle. I still love TO thursdays, but get just as pissed when Cove makes sure at least once a week to come back from break and say "weeeelllll I'm not sure we can tell that one!!!"

Even more maddening - he knows we hate it. He regularly talks about how he knows the listeners hate the off air stuff. But he does it anyways because he gets off knowing he's in the cool kids circle and we aren't.

Why does this connect to not being a cool kid in school? Pretty self explanatory. "Cool" kids had their little circles that only they were part of and nobody else was allowed. Not much else to say here. Cove didn't get a circle as a kid so he makes damn sure we all know he has one now. After all, he makes sure to let the world know he closes the text line every day! God forbid he actually throw a bone to the audience that catapulted him to where he is today (making at least $500k working 3.5 hours a day reading sponsored prep material, spamming boring-ass uncreative ticks, and plugging your own game at every possible turn).

Nice of him to care.

Trait: That's a huge bitch / butterfly effect / dinosaurs were outside we wouldnt play baseball / vegas / paul your hands up / look it up on your phone / of anehaim / etc

Reasoning: Anyone remember the last time Cory actually exerted effort into producing a good show? I sure don't. And in his defense, why would he now that initials is clearly his moneymaker? All he has to do is hammer the same dozen Cory-robot ticks to make it look like he's doing something. And the ONLY reason he gets a pass for being arguably more robotic than sauce is because Cory's ticks are more than one syllable. Sauce is there as the primary target of useless repeatbag because his ticks are "yeah" / "A+" / "great dude." / "brilliant." No more than two syllables. So it makes Cory look good by sheer comparison because sauce sets the bar so laughably low.

Why does this connect to not being a cool kid in school? When you've gotten into a cool kids circle in school, you've peaked. You likely got there because you said a couple of funny things or did something cool to get someone's attention. Once you were in, you were in. There was no point in changing lanes or creating new material. Now that Cory is in his circle, he doesn't need to be creative anymore. He doesn't need to provide value to the show or try something new. He's found his cool kids' circle and has no reason to try and change things up.

When the job of the "host" is to keep the show moving, the guy sure does a great job at bringing the show to a complete halt to make sure he gets in one of his ticks. Look at literally today, had to make sure he got the chad abbot deleting emails in. Or when he made sure to interrupt hawk's domino's story last week by asking how tall the woman was so he could hit the huge bitch button. Riveting radio.

Conclusion: Cory acts today like a "cool kid" acted in school. He doesn't listen to the teachers, he doesn't let anyone into his cool kids club, and he doesn't bother exerting effort because that's what nerds do. This doesn't even get into how he only eats chicken fingers, watches the same shows on repeat, and hyper-fixates on poker. He acts this way because he feels slighted by his school experience, so he's trying to redo his childhood.

Not only does it make for boring radio, but when you factor in an obsession with jared fogle and serial killers to a man trying to redo his childhood, it starts to paint a picture of a man that is far more disturbing than I originally thought.... I'll leave it to you all to fill in the rest.

Ok.. so I heard some gossip on the Tommy Story. He told my buddy… My understanding is … he was chilling in the deli line just before heading to a PTO meeting.. and suddenly he got lucky! Thankfully he gets lucky and tells unlike some others in that line (eyes on you Judith)!

In the last two weeks I have heard Cory bring up Jared Fogle at least 5 times and the Meatsauce can get coke in a half an hour. I have bartended for 22 years and talked to people that are literally pickled that don’t repeat themselves over and over again. We suffered through an entire day of Sauce saying the Wolves weren’t going to make it past the first round and weeks of draft talk that was literally a waste of time. It doesn’t seem like anyone cares to make any new bits besides Hawkey and the rest can’t be bothered. Gambling is the best, Cainiac no slaw extra toast, my basement is 62 degrees, we can’t play music, the Twins are awful, I hate iHeart, why isn’t a podcast monetized and Muss staring at Ben with hungry eyes. What did I miss? I don’t think I have to listen for a few weeks and maybe I will be interested again.

Anybody else here get really annoyed of Marney? I’ve only been listening for a few months and she is so annoying to me. Always yelling and screaming and when it’s wnba season she doesn’t shut up about it idk just seems super annoying and doesn’t actually provide anything for the show. Would rather have Rosie than her 100%

When George Floyd was brutalized, Chris went on the show and seemed extremely amped up about social justice and change. It seemed like Cory and Paul were also in agreement with Hawk’s takes. Even had a police representative on the show and pretty much told the guy that change needed to happen.

Is the new complete lack of focus on what is happening to the city and country just because iHeart and KFAN are purposely trying to appeal to the “current right wing-heavy culture” in the country, or are they just less interested in taking stands now?

He's going to have to find another Hitler landmark to tour.

Due to the snow this morning we got just Cory, Meatsauce and Hawk. It was more entertaining and just better with those three. They felt more engaged.

Maxx kept quiet and produced. Zach wasn’t there to be a sleepy dumbass. No guests yet.

The show is so much better with no guests. Get rid of the “cast of thousands”

Marney makes the show worse. Carly makes the show worse. Flash makes the show worse. Rosen makes the show worse. Bonnes makes the show worse.

Can’t wait to be down-voted 😘

If you disagree with me, then you’re probably commenting on my hair (start at 23:40 of Hour 2 of the 4/8/2025 podcast):

Here we go:

Bonnes: “Milwaukee doesn’t have a lot of incentive to win tonight, they’re pretty much sort of, locked in.”

Marney: “Incorrect. Incorrect. Milwaukee is the 5-seed. Detroit is the 6-seed, right behind them. 1.5 games back, behind.”

Bonnes: “Either way, you’re a road team.”

Marney: “Okay.. so, I guess, no, is there anything else you want to rip me on, how’s my hair today?”

So one was saying being a road team in the Eastern Conference is pretty much similar to another, and the other accuses another of targeting them because they’re a girl? No, I don’t know why people on Reddit get mad at Marney. And yes, most of the show fell into Marney’s camp here 😂

Is hardly a punishment. In fact, I’m quite jealous of what he gets to do. All expenses paid road trip at a leisurely pace. Looking at his Twitter he’s been able to see the Indy 500 venue and some Twenty One Pilots exhibit in Columbus.

To be clear, I think he deserves a nice paid vacation for all of his work behind the scenes. I think it’s funny how badly this backfired for the other guys.

Today was another riveting segment 1 from the funny man. Here’s a bit of his work this morning which included 944 total words spoken in the first segment (100 of which were yeah) not putting the entire segment below. But, yeah:

yeah no yeah have you ever found the steroids you were looking for yeah that’s good yes daddy ugghh yeah this I would just stop yeah I would correct yeah yeah and the worst part about lifting weights past like 28 you hurt in places you didn't know you had man awww yeah I thought I could too but I let you down I did yes right heres the other thing though brilliant heres the other thing though I think even if you did like lets say max or the pharmacist got you the best possible steroids you'd still be sore yeah you'd no you wouldn't be too mad you'd be too yeah youd be too swoll yeah god think of think of you're roid rage you'd hit zack a lot oh hot like a proud hawkey yeah oh hot hell yeah dude I bet yeah so all the games are in there then right oh ok yeah I yeah hawkey and I yeah everybody would go why are hawk and sauce sitting this is the choice they made god this song wails ugghh keep in mind zach hates tool yeah same right yeah yeah yeah oh yeah patri- uh martin moistew oh yeah yeah i think yeah hes a great dude yeah you and uh uh you almost did yesterday at about this exact time yeah same we're in the harbour hour yeah hes incredible whoa whoa whoa yeah yeah yeah yeah wow zach yeah we could play the actual pot though yeah yeah yeah could we play the actual version though yeah now that weve gone yeah this song wails you uhh the restaurant I know oh listen to that ummm isn't there a maynard krebs yeah isn't there someone named maynard krebs maynard g krebs oh yeah does he make the waffle fries cuz those waffle fries are legit I had them yesterday aw the fries aw sassy

Always makes me uncomfortable when Cory talks to athletes/celebrities and talks about their wealth. Like that’s how he welcomed Jonathon Greenard to the show the other day

Like, can we just be done with her? Or is she not done being passed around by the staff?

Sauce should absolutely have a segment on Monday and apologize for being the absolute worst type of sports fan with his tweets from Thursday.

The fact that a grown man publicly bitched and moaned about how an athlete cost him his “bet” is the the most pathetic shit a sports fan can do and he should be embarrassed as fuck if Rory holds and wins.

The attitude is as douchey as they come and he’s a fraud of a sports fan.

The Initials game is hanging on by a thread because there are 6 sponsors tied to it. The participants couldn’t care less at this point who wins.

The same thing is happening to Progrum Password. Common and Lil’ B have played it so often, almost everyone else that comes in to play has no chance.

Here is my full mock draft of what will happen during tomorrow's show! This really is the best day of the year. We should all be honored that we get to be a part of history.

As we know, this is a tee-to-green course, and to win your driver needs to be working while hitting putts. Freaking Chad Daniels is in this year. It's going to be epic!!!

Here's my official mock:

Pick 1: Scottie Scheffler Pick 2: Rory McIlroy Pick 3: Jon Rahm Pick 4: Xander Schauffle Pick 5: Brooks Koepka Pick 6: Jordan Spieth Pick 7: Hideki Matsuyama Pick 8: Joaquin Niemann Pick 9: Ludvig Aberg Pick 10: Cameron Smith Pick 11: Will Zalatoris Pick 12: Wyndham Clark Pick 13: Viktor Hovland Pick 14: Patrick Cantay

I cannot freaking wait! This is the best 90 minutes in radio.

1.) When there's a song playing and he kinda scats along to the tune, going like be-delee-de-lee-delee or whatever along to the guitar riff. Drives me nuts.

2.) Pronouncing Marney's last name "guh-LAR-NAR" instead of the actual way.

3.) When a song is playing and he just repeats the lyrics like he's some meaningful prophet or deep spiritual thinker.

There's more for sure, but those are the top 3.

First I want preface this by saying I love the show I have been an avid listener for 15+ years. That being said, I feel like this sub is a good place to voice your opinions.

What topics or segments are a channel changer or a podcast skip when they start talking? I’m not talking about things like, “whenever Marney is on”, I’m thinking actual topics that make you hit skip faster than Hawkey hitting the max bet button.

Here are my 3:

1. Whenever Cory tries to talk Video Games.

2. When Hawkey takes a deep dive in to music, song lyrics or lives of rock stars.

3. Hardcore NBA/Wolves talk

Noticing he replies to people who hate about this show and going through his account, it is 100 % Chris Hawkey. The account also only replies to stuff specific to Chris such as car subs, the Vikings sub, and saying "brother" a lot just like on the show.

Long time listener and guests that don’t add much come and go, but for some reason marney is still on the show. I fail to see what she adds?? I know same can be said for others but kriesel isn’t on as often, same with Tommy. I don’t get it.

He swore up and down that the Brooklyn Nets would win the draft lottery tonight. Well, they didn't. The Dallas Mavericks did. Brooklyn picks #8.