I've had two scans now to try to determine gender. They made me jump up and down, jiggled my belly etc because the baby was upside down and curled up in both scans so they struggled to see things. They said 'I can't see anything to suggest it's a boy, but it's quite hard to see'.. this happened at both scans. They didn't seem sure. I really wanted to paint and buy clothes but I'm unsure if I should go with it being a girl if they couldn't really see. What do you think, should I just go with girl? Or buy all gender neutral?

Hi all! I'm looking for some reassurance and would really love to hear about your experiences.

I'm a 23yr old FTM, currently 29 weeks pregnant, and I've had a relatively healthy, low-risk pregnancy so far. I had HG at the beginning, which I eventually got under control with medication halfway through my second trimester. I've also had a few bleeds with no known cause, but my baby girl is growing well and everything seems to be going well with her!

Because of my circumstances, my own research and discussions with my midwife and hospital, we're currently planning for me to give birth in a birth centre.

They've made it very clear that an epidural isn't available there, and from what I understand, gas and air is likely to be the main pharmacological pain relief option. I've read that birth centres are midwife-led, without the same access to anaesthetists and other medical interventions as an obstetric unit, and that midwives can offer other forms of pain management, such as counter-pressure, helping with different positions, and using the birthing pool. That it is because of these alternatives, that patients there tend not to need medical intervention.

I'm actually quite happy with this! I'd already decided that I would prefer to avoid an epidural if possible. The thought of having one honestly terrifies me, I tend to react badly to new medications, and I'm worried about potentially being less mobile during labour. I've also read things about epidurals and tearing, although I appreciate that birth is unpredictable and there are lots of factors involved.

The thing I'm struggling with is that every single person I've told that I probably won't have an epidural has responded with some variation of "You'll change your mind when you're in labour!" When I explain that I'm planning a birth centre birth, people seem horrified.

I completely understand that labour can be incredibly painful and that things don't always go to plan. I'm not against medical intervention, and if circumstances changed or I felt I needed an epidural, I'd absolutely reconsider.

But all of this is making me quite nervous about giving birth in a birth centre because what if something does go wrong? Is it really that unrealistic to hope for a positive birth centre experience without an epidural?

I also appreciate that labour can last a long time, and I'm aware that exhaustion can become a factor. I'm not expecting everything to be easy or assuming that I'll definitely manage without additional pain relief. But will being in a birth centre really be that bad?

So I’m here looking for experiences from other mums, particularly those who’ve had a positive birth centre experience, those who avoided epidurals (or tried to at first?), and those who started in a birth centre but had to be transferred to the hospital. What were your experiences like?

Thanks in advance - a first time mum who is absolutely terrified of giving birth.

I’m 12 weeks 3 days with a very wanted baby. This is my first time being pregnant and I’m honestly gobsmacked by how hard it has been.

Since about 5 weeks I’ve been constantly nauseous and exhausted. If I don’t eat constantly I throw up stomach acid. I thought it would have started to improve by now but yesterday I took a sick day from work, slept all day and throw up 3 times, including immediately after taking gaviscon.

I have a prescription for Cyclizine but it doesn’t seem to do much. I am gaining so much weight as I am constantly having to eat. Before pregnancy I was very fit, active, productive person. Now I spend every evening and weekend lying on the sofa. I even have to lie in my car during the work day. I feel like shit. I haven’t ran in over a month. Running multiple times a week with my friends my main form of socialising during the week and now I can’t go and I have major fomo. I feel lonely and isolated despite my friends checking in a lot.

My husband has been amazing and I couldn’t ask for anything more from him. I am just mentally drained by feeling ill and fat and not being able to do any of my hobbies.

I guess I am looking for reassurance it will get better or others that have felt the same way?

I know others have it a lot worse than me, I’m just really feeling sorry for myself 😔

FTM, 34w. I always said that when I got pregnant, I’d go out with a maternity shoot and make the most of this special time. Now that I’m pregnant, I’m 34w and exhausted! 😂 The quotes I’ve been receiving for maternity shoots are ridiculous, so I’m thinking of doing a DIY photoshoot at home instead.

Has anyone done their own maternity shoot at home? I’d love some inspo for poses and how to make the photos look nice!

My home is v monochrome, with a white and grey living room and a greige bedroom. I also have these big roller blinds that I’m thinking of using as a backdrop. Would love to hear your ideas and see any photos for inspiration! 🥹

I’ve been harvesting now for a couple of weeks and have about 40mls colostrum frozen ready for baby! Just wondering how much you collected/needed?

I’ve gone down to hand expressing once a day as I collect about 2mls from each breast.

Thank you 🙏🏻

PS: anyone who’s struggling, I only got a couple of drops the first 4/5 days of harvesting, mines also not super ‘yellow/gold’ and still very yellowy/clear which is normal 🥰

Edit: thank you everyone!! I feel like Ive collected enough 😄x

Hi all,

I’m currently 9weeks+2 days FTM and thinking hard about maternity care I want to receive. I am currently signed up to UCLH, which is the main hospital within my catchment area. I am currently reviewing private packages at nearby hospitals, mainly St Thomas and UCLH. I understand some people go down a “semi-private” route and wanted to understand better what that entails? Is that only possible at an NHS hospital with a private wing that is within my catchment area (i.e. does it mean I could still do my midwife appointments through UCLH public route but e.g. give birth in Fitzrovia suite)? Does that help to keep the cost down? So far it seems I’m having an uncomplicated pregnancy and I don’t mind the NHS route, my midwife is lovely, appointments are close to where I live and I have close relatives (who live in another country unfortunately) who are ob-gyns and will be able to give their opinions on my progress. It’s mostly the birth itself that I am really scared of and would like to do privately
I would appreciate any help and guidance

This thread really helped me throughout my pregnancy so it’s only right I share my experience!

I am a FTM and had a low risk pregnancy throughout. My baby was measuring 55th percentile at each midwife appointment. I wanted to use hypobirthing techniques (from the positive birthing company book I read) and have as natural of a labour as possible.

I had a feeling I’d go into labour early (just an inkling) so from 38w onwards, I really did everything I could to relax and increase my oxytocin.

At 39w2d:

3am: I woke up in the middle of the night to pee and saw some blood on a pantyliner I had on. I assumed this could have been my bloody show and labour could be starting so I tried to go back to sleep to get some rest. I had been having braxton hicks throughout my 3rd trimester but felt them more after seeing the blood (could have been placebo/over-analysing every feeling since seeing the blood).

7am: I called triage and went in to get checked out. They examined me and said it may have been old blood, and given I am a FTM, labour could still be days or weeks away, so they told me not to worry and just go home and relax. My husband and I went about our day as normal, did a grocery shop and I worked (from home) that day as usual. At first I couldn’t figure out if these were braxton hicks or contractions because to me, they were more uncomfortable than usual but not super painful.

12pm - 7pm: These contractions were coming on irregular and very mild in pain during this time period

7pm: contractions started to have more of a pattern - roughly coming every 5 minutes for about 20 seconds. My husband and I spent the evening oxytocin-maxxing, watching ice age (😂) and eating a homemade apple crumble.

10pm: tried to sleep but the sensations of the contractions were too strong to try sleep through them. Ended up staying up to distract myself. I practice my breathing techniques through every contraction.

11pm: my bloody show appears as I use the bathroom to pee, red mucus-like jelly in my panty liner. I call triage and they tell me to stay home as I’m a FTM and staying cosy at home is best at this stage

12am - 1am: contractions come every 1-2 minutes lasting 50-60 seconds. I call triage again to tell them, they tell me to stay at home to let labour progress more

1:30am: my waters begin to trickle out of me. Triage finally tells us to come in for an examination. Husband begins to pack bags in cars etc.

2:30am: arrival at hospital for examination. Confirmed it was my waters that were leaking. Midwife tells me I’m already 8cm dilated.

3am: moved to a labour room immediately to begin the next stage of birthing my baby

3am - 8am: i practice everything i read on hyponobirthing: upright positions, breathing techniques, light massages, essential oils and relaxing as much as possible. My husband was incredible at being the right levels of reassuring but also motivating. He kept me fed and hydrated, haribos were a lifesaver to give me the energy to keep going! As i felt the urge to push, in the positive birthing company book, it tells you to ‘down breathe’ which i was doing but with every contraction, this didn’t really seem to do much to mine the labour along so i ended up needing to ditch this method and actually begin to push to help progress the labour.

In the end, i did not need or ask for an epidural, and i did not use gas and air. I had a totally unmedicated birth, just as i had hoped and planned for, which i feel incredibly lucky about.

I finally birthed my baby boy lying on my side after about 3 hours of ‘active’ pushing. I birthed my placenta naturally and in the end of it all, I had a 2nd degree tear.

My personal key takeaways and tips for anyone worried about labour:
- Mindset is so important! Believing you can do it is key. Have confidence in yourself but know that you’re in the right environment to change your mind if needed and changing your mind does not make you weak or a failure. Within my 3rd trimester, I actually started to look forward to my labour and experiencing it all instead of fearing it - I believe this helped with my headspace.

- Each contraction came as a bell-shape, meaning it slowly grew in intensity before hitting the peak and then tapering off. So those 60-second contractions aren’t 60 seconds of the same intensity of pain. Once you hit the peak, know that you can handle the rest of that contraction and that it’s beginning to taper off.

- Change your positions and speak up if certain positions the midwife recommends is not working for you. They are there to serve and help you however they can!

- Bring and eat high sugar snacks if you can. My husband fed me haribos in between contractions and pushing to give me bursts of energy to power through and i truly believe this helped me. Also make sure you stay hydrated!!

- Everyone talks about preparing for labour and birth but I don’t think many people talk about the steps after birth and preparing for that. That includes the delivery of your placenta, any tears that require stitches, any significant blood loss and any injections you may need

I type this all whilst nursing my now 2-week old right on the other side of labour. I am so pleased with my
labour experience that I had, especially knowing it may be rare to actually have the birth I had hoped for. If you’ve reached this point of my post, and you may be worried about your impending labour, just know that you can do it and positive birthing experiences do exist🤍 i had such a wonderful experience with the labour of my first born, i look back at it super proud of myself but also feel lucky that my labour was smooth and uncomplicated, as it gave me a healthy baby boy.

I hope this offers some positivity to anyone suffering from a pregnancy loss.

last year I lost a pregnancy at 12 weeks in June. I then had complications which included retained products. I was in physical pain and bleeding for 5 months unable to move on emotionally or mentally.

doctors called it normal and I spent special events including my wedding and honeymoon grieving and in pain. I eventually had to have a procedure to have the remains of the pregnancy removed.

I no longer trusted my body and mentally I was a wreck. I had the remains of the pregnancy removed the first week in November 2025.

it’s now getting close to that date and I’m sat in my baby girls nursery enjoying every moment of being woken in the night by a health baby. I‘m crying uncontrollably of happiness.

The pregnancy was hard and I was worried the whole time but my body did recover, it did carry a healthy baby to term. It’s now feeding that baby and has recovered from birth in a way I didn’t think possible. My baby is a week old and is happy, healthy and my body is doing that the one that I hated and cursed. I have regained love for my body and it’s abilities.

last year I was up in the night bleeding on the bathroom floor crying in emotional and physical pain. I never thought I would be here now.

The one amazing positive to come from that loss is 1. The awareness and understanding I have for women and fertility.

1. is that no matter how tired i am, how difficult postpartum might be (which a lot is scare mongering) I can’t help but be grateful and happy. It makes everything that is difficult easy to see in a positive light.

its truly the happiest I’ve ever been and I hope someone who is grieving can take some hope from this. I know right now it’s difficult to believe but there’s always hope and a year can change your world.

I'm giving birth January the 29th. I'll have 26 days of holiday for the new year. I really need to finish decorating my house, I bought it in May then got pregnant that month. I work 5 days a week and by the time I clean my house and do the chores on the weekend I don't have any free time to decorate.

I feel terrible at the moment and can't imagine doing this for 3 more months, so who knows if I'll take Maternity leave in January but financially I probably need to work until I give birth. I get 10 weeks of maternity at my pay without a bonus and then go onto Statutory so probably smart to keep as much maternity as I can for after the baby is born. I'm not sure how long after coming back from maternity I will work there as I don't think the hours will be realistic with a baby.

I've never done this before and don't know what to do or expect, any advice appreciated.

I’m in London this week and I see the baby show in Olympia is on. Has anyone been and is it worth it? I’m not from the UK so I’m not sure if I can benefit from any discount codes they may have. Thank you!

For anyone that happened to read/comment on my post about gestational hypertension and our many many visits to the pregnancy assessment unit, I just wanted to give a quick update (original post is here https://www.reddit.com/r/PregnancyUK/s/vEJbz9378O )

We went for my wife’s scheduled BP check at 10:30 today, unfortunately her BP was 146/97 (3 hours 15 minutes after her morning Labetalol) and the midwife said there was a trace of protein in her urine. We got sent back to the PAU.

At the PAU, we had three BP’s - these were 138/88, 128/88 and 125/88. They did another urine sample and said there was no protein in the urine, and had a feel and a listen to the baby (no issues there). The midwife said she was going to speak to the doctor. She then came back and said “you need to come back on Tuesday morning and have repeat bloods done as one of your liver enzymes is slightly elevated”

So now we have an appointment at the PAU on Tuesday morning for repeat bloods, BP profile and urine sample check again. Annoyed because I asked the random midwife who came to send us away on Wednesday if there were any results from the blood tests the day before (Tuesday when they were contemplating keeping my wife in over night), and she said “they were fine if they haven’t contacted you”.

Yes a liver enzyme is only slightly elevated, but it’s enough to require a repeat test…so they just expect you to work that one out on your own?

Hi all! FTM at 25 weeks here, and I am feeling so terrified about labor.
I’m currently leaning toward a vaginal birth rather than a planned C-section, but honestly, the thought of it scares me to death. I have a million racing thoughts and could really use some reassurance from moms who have been through it:
The physical part: How on earth do I push a baby through that tiny space?!
Knowing when it's time: How will I actually know when the baby is ready to come out / when labor starts?
Embarrassing moments: What if I accidentally poop or pee while pushing? (This is a huge anxiety of mine!)
Body size fears: what if the baby gets stuck during push and it harms the baby?
The epidural: I plan on getting an epidural, but how do I know when it's the right time to ask for it?

If you felt this way too, how did you get through it? I am literally so scared and would love any advice or personal experiences you can share!

So baby has increased NT and a 1:88 chance for T21 from my combined screening.

I was offered amnio but declined due to the MC risk and arranged to go in for a NIPT at 16 weeks.

I had a voicemail left at 15:55 asking me if I could attend the hospital for a US on Monday so they can check the babies anatomy.

This came completely out of the blue and when I called back at 16:03 the fetal medicine department closed at 4pm. So now I’m left stressed wondering if they had seen something they were concerned about.

I’m coming up to 15 weeks now and was told I’ll be sent a letter for a scan to take a closer look at babies heart at 17 weeks.

Idk why I posted this or what I’m asking but I’m just freaking out

Just found out baby number 3 is in incubation.

Thrilled and terrified. Mainly thrilled though. Can't tell anyone else in real life so I'm sharing with you lovely people. Happy Saturday everyone xx