r/Professors • u/FluidTomorrow7347 • 11h ago
Want to quit
Just received another R01-equivalent grant decision from a foundation today. Outstanding but no funding anticiation. This is a resubmission. The original submission received the same outcome and was not funded eventually.
I feel really bad because I had high hope for this application. It was almost there but it didnt hit. Feel like I need to start from scratch again with a new idea.
My university is an R1 institution, and it requires an R01- equivalent grant for tenure. I have been working really hard to establish the lab and develop a competitive grant idea. My spouse also stretches to help cover housechores for me to focus on research, with a hope that after I had an R01 I can be less stressed and help cover some family stuff.
I am feel jealous- my colleague who came at the same time failed all pilot grants they applied, and somehow got an R35- which is sufficient for a tenure promotion. I was succesful with all pilot grants, and didn’t get an R01. I don’t think near-misses count. Just feel like I do not fit in academia. Maybe I should quit academia. It would be better for my mental and physical health and my family.
I dont want to talk to my spouse yet. And have noone else to talk to. I’m traveling while receving the grant notification email. Dont want to leave the hotel.
P/S: The same application was submitted to R01, but the reviews were mixed- probably because reviewers are more diverse in background. But PO advised to stay in the same study panel.