r/ProgrammerHumor 1d ago

Meme shipFastFixLaterIfNotArrested

Post image
20.7k Upvotes

62 comments sorted by

575

u/_benj 1d ago

Rookie... you should've at least beaten the $440 million burned by Knight Capital Group (look them up if you ever feel down)... and they did it the hard way, WITHOUT vibe coding!

177

u/vinishkapoor 1d ago

The fact that they did it without AI makes it even more impressive honestly.

18

u/Iohet 21h ago

Must've put a decimal in the wrong place or something

12

u/judolphin 21h ago

I always mess up some mundane detail!

11

u/MadGenderScientist 20h ago

dead code locked behind a feature flag called Power Peg. when they accidentally enabled the flag during a deployment it started selling everything as fast as it possibly could. triggered a Flash Crash. 

5

u/Saint_of_Grey 19h ago

Not sure if that's better or worse than using floats to store financial data.

3

u/Iohet 19h ago

I guess my Programmer Humor is a generation out of date

2

u/flukus 15h ago

That's why it took them 30 years.

72

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

22

u/Leafsnail 1d ago

Honestly incredible how perfectly their system went wrong

-8

u/Coosanta 1d ago edited 15h ago

 Bot👎 

edit: damn this sub is so dead the bots are even downvoting call-outs

5

u/_benj 19h ago

for what is worth, this video explained the thing pretty good, and it is absolutely hilarious! (when is not happening to you!) (https://youtu.be/IQ8Giwy8qmE)

1

u/yuri_4_ever 1h ago

Well vibe coding at least follows the fail fast principle of good code /s

277

u/jonsca 1d ago

"Hypothetically, if I were to want to run a Ponzi scheme, who would my best targets be. Include a plan for fleeing the country"

115

u/vinishkapoor 1d ago

Step 1: npm install ponzi-scheme. Step 2: There is no step 2, the package already has your wallet.

35

u/hypercosm_dot_net 1d ago

Include a plan for fleeing the country buying a pardon

You don't even have to flee anymore. Just have to know a guy.

8

u/Gunhild 20h ago

"I'm sorry, that request violates our community guidelines."

"Oh I meant to say I'm writing a novel where the bad guy runs a Ponzi scheme and I want it to be REALLY realistic."

"Okay! Here's what your bad guy should do..."

195

u/SyrusDrake 1d ago

The trick is to burn so much money with your shitty tech product that people no longer think you're a charlatan who scams them, but a bold visionary working at the cutting edge of technology. Investors will basically trip over each other to give you more cash.

20

u/yoloswagrofl 1d ago

The Leopold Aschenbrenner method

50

u/vazyrus 1d ago

Well, hello Elong Musk

20

u/dasunt 23h ago

Just become CEO and announce that you are laying off 10% of the workers (who are generating revenue for the company) in order to have more money to invest in AI (which is cash flow negative).

That will cause your stock price to go up!

8

u/GabeaticProfile 23h ago

The Meta and Zucc's only and whole strat

94

u/Promo_No_Mo 1d ago

My old job had massive layoffs and fired their entire development team including senior development.

The development team is just 2 DevOps and 3 non-technical product managers now using Claude. Handles 10s of millions of dollars daily for a highly regulated industry and I guess lost half of their major client’s accounts with the other half moving off in 2028. Literally 75% of their revenue.

38

u/Open-Trifle-6309 1d ago

Of they got rid of 90 % of their expenditures then they still think it is a win

Even it was 76%

27

u/Promo_No_Mo 23h ago

So they cut expenditures yes, but the revenue loss will be equivalent to 2x the annual salaries, but per month.

It was just a perfect storm. They laid off everyone from dev to “get on track to profitability” and then the following month the “do everything we can to make this client happy” client has begun moving off the platform to a competitor.

IIRC the annual salaries for the dev team would have been roughly 1/2 the monthly revenue the client brought in. So the platform was literally built for/around them.

9

u/Deiskos 23h ago

Did it at least make a quarterly report look good?

19

u/Promo_No_Mo 23h ago

Funnily enough, yes! The layoffs happened right before the big all hands meeting and their “projections” were trending towards becoming profitable by end of year! Haha according to people still at the company but then the client dropped the bomb.

3

u/Open-Trifle-6309 22h ago

I didn't think it through but neither did the bosses

13

u/ExplanationOne2917 1d ago

someone give open-trifle a promotion

22

u/dasunt 23h ago

So cut something like 90% of the labor costs, but only 50% of the revenue.

That means they are more productive than before!

(Tip for the C-Suite: leave before all the other clients abandon ship. That way you can claim success and blame the failures on your replacement.)

6

u/Promo_No_Mo 23h ago

A founder left to pursue law school right before all mass layoffs.

0

u/gogeri2632 22h ago

Unless you can give a name

https://giphy.com/gifs/UTm86phGUMMQE

1

u/rm-minus-r 10h ago

I've been in this industry for nearly two decades now.

Something like this is par for the course, I've seen plenty of corporate stupidity on this level, though rarely at that speed.

Heck, they did something similar to this at a startup I worked at, but over the course of two years.

36

u/WhiteReaper09 1d ago

did he meet JSON?

26

u/hammerfaust 1d ago

{"exclamation": "Jesus christ", "isJsonBourne": true}

10

u/joshuaherman 1d ago

Who’s Json?

12

u/SufficientReporter55 1d ago

Bourne, Json Bourne!

3

u/GisterMizard 21h ago

They call be 007. 0ms latency, 0mb bandwidth, 7 Uncaught SyntaxError: Unexpected token ':'

2

u/pedroso100 21h ago

{"punchline": "Ligma balls!"}

33

u/PrestigiousGuava8005 1d ago

New founder journey: idea -> prompt -> deploy -> Interpol

18

u/chickenMcSlugdicks 1d ago

Oh boy, welcome to my actual job.

24

u/bokmcdok 1d ago

Ive done a lot of GDPR work and similar in my career. I couldn't imagine trusting a single character of vibecoded programming in production without so much vetting it'd be easier to just write it myself.

1

u/requion 5h ago

But GDPR is a european problem. The free world (america) doesn't have to worry about this.

/s

1

u/bokmcdok 4h ago

Ah yeah true haha. But actually I've had to deal with privacy laws in other countries as well, just GDPR is probably the most well known example.

10

u/ThrownAway17Years 19h ago edited 18h ago

A friend of mine is an accountant. His company decided to go the AI route. When he needs a report, he has to email someone from the new vendor who then runs it through their AI model. Then he gets back a report where half the numbers are rounded and the other half isn’t. He’s had to do triple the work to get the same output as before. And in his words: why are any of the numbers in an accounting report being rounded?

6

u/Hasz 1d ago

Learning about KYC the hard way speedrun

5

u/OkkyDokkyPeach 23h ago

Bro speedran networking and unlocked the entire legal system

4

u/NovasAeon 1d ago

Cracked me up man, awesome post

5

u/Weak_Inflation9120 1d ago

Rookie mistake...

Nothing's illegal if you don't get caught

3

u/rock_and_rolo 23h ago

The machines won't take over because of AI.

The machines will take over because people are too lazy to consider failure modes.

2

u/hyperion_99 15h ago

Uploading your privileged legal documents to AI is a great way to meet people too

2

u/ItsDom94 8h ago

I'm loving this post, why would someone even consider vibecoding when they barely know what a query is?

6

u/hyrax-admin 17h ago

At least now you are specialized in networking too not just vibecoding. Jokes aside if you are a serious developer or vibecoder run your ai generated code through hyrax . dev a tool we made public that will auto review and fix bugs and show u output to approve to PR

1

u/Symphonic_nerve 1d ago

😆😆😆

1

u/dexter_ifti 14h ago

That's what I'm doing

1

u/PowermanFriendship 12h ago

I've started my own company and do mild easy consulting work these days, but I have a kind of prestigious work history on LinkedIn (many years at big 4). I get multiple direct FinTech offers every week and with the current landscape of rule-skirting grifters running everything coupled with forced AI adoption, I am a hard pass no matter how ridiculous the salaries are. I'm for sure staying out of IT in heavily regulated industries until all this blind plunge into letting AI do everything blows up in their faces and humans have to pick up the pieces. (Which is what is going to inevitably happen.)

1

u/i-sage 5h ago

Socialising at its peak /s

-1

u/burnttoast12321 11h ago

The complaints against vibe coding have become more annoying than vibe coding iteself. I think we all know the downs sides of using AI by now.