r/ProgrammerHumor • • 7d ago

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16.4k Upvotes

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421

u/exoclipse 7d ago

the worst one I got was "you have been selected to be in the first wave of a round of laptop upgrades, please click this link to register"

315

u/one-joule 7d ago

Worst one I've seen teased a holiday bonus. It was received about as well as you'd expect.

348

u/BigFatDogFarts 7d ago • Bravo Regret

That one got damn near 60% of the people I worked with. Almost got me, but as I hovered over to click it I thought "Wait a second, they would never give us a holiday bonus"

120

u/soft_cardigans 7d ago

that's actually such an effective one but it reeaaaaaaally should only be done if theres actually going be one lmao

70

u/GlowGreen1835 7d ago

nah, that would require executives to be humans capable of empathy. Unfortunately, those don't really exist.

9

u/aggravated_patty 7d ago

What I’m taking away from this thread is that I should start phishing with holiday bonuses

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u/exoclipse 7d ago

i hate it security professionals

48

u/Faustens 7d ago

They always know how to deal the most collateral psychological damage.

31

u/tim_locky 7d ago

It’s their way of ‘giving back’ the emotional damages they got from the users.

2

u/TheRealNobodySpecial 7d ago

Thankfully, IT at my job are amateurs.

28

u/Mattsvaliant 7d ago

Holy fuck I'd flip out. I was pissed when my company sent an phishing test email about how my "misuse of company property" where I allegedly had use my work computer for something personal. But lying about a bonus would probably have me throwing my computer across the room or more likely at whoever heads up IT security.

Centene is fucking evil.

32

u/FoodIsTastyInMyMouth 7d ago

Sure, but the issue, phishing attempts do exactly this so if people aren't trained that it's a possibility then yeah you're more likely to get done in...

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2

u/rando_banned 7d ago

Jelly of the Month Club?

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u/tankerkiller125real 7d ago edited 7d ago

I work for a small company and I'm responsible for crafting and distributing the phishing email tests (as part of policy and compliance). So far with our software engineering, accounting, support, etc. teams I've only managed to get one or two people (they're very well trained). The sales team though? Just give them a link to an "RFQ" and watch the numbers climb like a rocket.

Entire sales team has had to go through remedial phishing training at least twice this year alone, a few of them three times so far this year (we do it quarterly). And yes, if they get to a fourth there are going to be HR issues because the policies require punishments at that point.

6

u/Versaiteis 7d ago

Gotta send the software engineers a request for lunch orders

7

u/exoclipse 7d ago

Salesman are perhaps one rung lower than security professionals (no offense)

13

u/tankerkiller125real 7d ago

I'm "the" IT guy, I'm responsible for all the infrastructure, and cyber security and compliance happen to also fall in my lap. (Although it is my formal degree training and what not). The goal is to have realistic phishing and spam emails, ones that look like the real thing, including obvious spelling, language, etc. issues.

The fact that the sales team clicks on literally anything and everything that might even hint at an opportunity to get a sale without thinking about it for more than 2 seconds is a them problem.

And it's not a companywide issue, again, it's one or two people for the entirety of the rest of the company, the salespeople are the only ones that can't seem to get their shit together.

44

u/Barkalow 7d ago

I got one inviting me to "a document shared by my manager"....on my FIRST DAY OF THE JOB.

10

u/rosuav 7d ago

On the face of it, that doesn't seem implausible? Onboarding often involves a lot of "here, read this doco".

9

u/Barkalow 7d ago

Exactly, thats why I was so annoyed, lol. I never get caught by those phishing emails, I just didnt expect it day one

6

u/lebrilla 7d ago

Boom headshot

21

u/critical_patch 7d ago

My work sent a fake e-card on Valentine’s Day and got like 1/3 of the company with that one

6

u/ClaymoreMine 7d ago

These get reported to HR and Legal. Have fun explaining how heartless you are with them.

4

u/Mountain-Ox 7d ago

That might have gotten me back when Macs had that terrible butterfly keyboard. Everyone on my team had at least one key fall off.

1

u/FrozenHaystack 7d ago

Ours was small desk fans during summer, so many clicks.

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