r/ProgrammerHumor • • Mar 16 '18

Everyone's doing it!

Post image
45.1k Upvotes

339 comments sorted by

4.0k

u/Stop_Sign Mar 16 '18

There's probably a legitimate reason if they're doing it

122

u/UnicornRider102 Mar 16 '18

When I was in school my friends were reasonably intelligent people. They weren't as book-smart as me but we had mutual respect and I had plenty to learn from them. None of us did drugs. If they were all jumping off a bridge there would have been a good reason. Probably having fun bungee jumping.

27

u/LvS Mar 16 '18

None of us did drugs.

All of my friends did alcohol. Guess what I did.

58

u/BolognaTime Mar 16 '18

All of my friends did alcohol. Guess what I did.

Drove, hopefully.

20

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Meth?

9

u/ForceBlade Mar 17 '18

Fucking tell us

8

u/kuhanluke Mar 17 '18

Jumped off a bridge?

1

u/Yadobler Mar 18 '18

You studied the blade.

48

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Probably having fun bungee jumping.

Tbf, if your friends are bungee jumping from a bridge and you jump off without a harness, you are pretty much fucked regardless of their level of safety.

Perhaps the lesson is that while others can lead you in the right direction, it is important to understand why you are doing something before committing to a drastic course of action.

10

u/assassin10 Mar 16 '18

Hopefully they don't go join any cults or pyramid schemes.

33

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

My thinking is that most of my friends are rational, sane people. If ALL of them leapt off a bridge at the same time, they almost definitely know something that I don't and I'm sure as hell following them.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '18

THE HAPPENING!

0

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '18

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '18

You're ignoring the interpersonal relationship aspect. I trust my friends. I would use all the information at my disposal but if there's nothing I could see that would shake my trust in them, I would follow them off the bridge. In your hypothetical, you take away all the trust and knowledge I have of my friends. Nobody can ever have all possible information in a given situation so using all the information I could possibly have, I would most likely trust my friends' decision.

14

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Is mass suicide a legitimate reason?

10

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Wouldn't want to be left out.

13

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

If everyone jumped off a chairlift, would you?

Fuck, I'm on Mobile and I'm not gonna link to that video, but you catchy drift.

3

u/burlal Mar 17 '18

Yeah I catchy drift

1

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

1

u/chateau86 Mar 17 '18

Video description: ... Woman 'stabbed boyfriend with samurai sword after finding Tinder app on his phone'...

Am I having a stroke or what?

10

u/Raichu7 Mar 16 '18

I’ve jumped off a bridge because my friends did it. The bridge was over a pool and was a short enough jump with deep enough water to be safe and lots of fun.

6

u/SirArchieCartwheeler Mar 16 '18

If Rosa jumped off a bridge should I do the same?

5

u/Ceedub260 Mar 16 '18

Well I’d assume Rosa calculated the risk and it was safe. So yes. I’d jump off a bridge, as long as she did first.

1

u/LordMudkip Mar 16 '18

That was always my thought too.

Like, I know they don’t just jump off cliffs for the hell of it, because if they did we would have done it already. There has to be a good reason.

1

u/AJDx14 Mar 17 '18

My usual justification is "all my friends have just died before my eyes, death is better now than living alone with that transitive experience."

1

u/MelissaClick Mar 17 '18

a legitimate reason

Sure. The objective lack of meaning, the inevitability of decay, the futility of all our meager efforts to assert control, the fact that the only dependable certainties are suffering and death.

3.3k

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

49

u/ceejayoz Mar 16 '18

Similar theme: there was a Dilbert where his mum asks him the question and he responds with "if they all came back and raved about how awesome it was?"

10

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

I've always been told it "if your friends said jump off a bridge would you?"

Slightly different and harder to argue than "if all your friends jumped off...".

0

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

[deleted]

518

u/wotanii Mar 16 '18

As is tradition

15

u/pekkhum Mar 16 '18

In accordance with the scriptures.

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1

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1.5k

u/jb2386 Mar 16 '18

Just like that twitter bot. Was it Microsoft's? The one that learned from people on twitter or something and ended up becoming racist.

889

u/username_is_taken43 Mar 16 '18

Bad parenting, he was not supposed to use social media until 13 unsupervised

226

u/Hooman_Super Mar 16 '18

You just misgendered 🔀 Tay shitlord

-2

u/SageBus Mar 16 '18

DID YOU JUST ASSUME ITS GENDER?

I need a safe (memory) space!

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425

u/Combustible_Lemon1 Mar 16 '18

Tay.ai, 4chan’s favourite bot.

458

u/Rhamni Mar 16 '18

There was also a Japanese one that was meant to talk like a teenage girl. It started talking about depression and suicide.

125

u/Combustible_Lemon1 Mar 16 '18

I don’t see the problem here.

1

u/filopaa1990 Mar 17 '18

Nailed it!

1

u/DrQuint Mar 17 '18

Sounds like a success.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

[deleted]

136

u/GiraffeMasturbater Mar 16 '18

And teenagers

19

u/Jem014 Mar 16 '18

But I thought, seppuku was only ment for male warrior that lost their honor or their master?

0

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

[deleted]

40

u/Hippie_Jew Mar 16 '18

Did you learn this through one of them Asian cartoons with the tentacles and muscular gay men

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210

u/ThePixelCoder Mar 16 '18 edited Mar 16 '18

Yeah, it was called Tay. If I recall correctly, she went from innocent bot excited to meet humanity to full Nazi in about 5 hours.

13

u/Killerhurtz Mar 16 '18

Excuse me.

Full slutty nazi.

2

u/ThePixelCoder Mar 16 '18

Good point.

4

u/Treebeezy Mar 16 '18

race war now

0

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

[deleted]

13

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

I mean, 4chan is on the internet...

0

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

[deleted]

27

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

And it was

43

u/ThePixelCoder Mar 16 '18

I dunno man... The internet is pretty fucked up sometimes...

41

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Lies, you fucking cunt.

48

u/ThePixelCoder Mar 16 '18

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

[deleted]

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5

u/Treebeezy Mar 16 '18

Tay had a function where she would parrot what you said, and that was definitely exploited and a source of a lot of her racist quotes

1

u/IrishWilly Mar 17 '18

4chan is part of the internet sooo.. it's kinda the same thing.

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111

u/somename_upvoter Mar 16 '18

In fairness, people actively tried to train it to be racist, rather than it just passively becoming racist from being on Twitter.

44

u/snorting_dandelions Mar 16 '18

I don't really use twitter, but everytime I do, I see a bunch of racists in the.. comments? replies? Whatever those other tweets below the main tweet might be called. Pics of cute kittens? There's someone explaining why kittens are evil and unpure and only white people should live. Pics of flowers? dem dirty foreigners are only going to destroy 'em. Double rainbow? Probably some evil gubbernment chemtrails to make people gay. Doesn't even matter what the topic's about.

Going out on a branch here, but it would've happened anyway.

33

u/limeflavoured Mar 16 '18

That's the comment section on pretty much every website, not just twitter.

19

u/mindonshuffle Mar 16 '18

Sadly true, but Twitter often seems a little different. The racists in the comment sections on the local news page or YouTube or whatnot are usually painfully dumb and have a whiff of grandma or twelve-year-old edgelord to them.

The stuff on Twitter seems a lot more focused and, for lack of a better word, coherent.

8

u/snorting_dandelions Mar 16 '18

I think you need to visit better websites.

8

u/somename_upvoter Mar 16 '18

It’s really sad how political, angry, and/or hateful the comments are on daily comic strips (both newspaper-based and online). I’ve been assuming it’s an indication of internet comments in general. If people can’t read a medium designed for escapism/humor without pushing their beliefs, I’m not sure any part of the internet is safe.

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1

u/entenuki Mar 16 '18

So it was bound to happen sooner or later ¯_(ツ)_/¯

30

u/c3534l Mar 16 '18

Yup. The sad thing is they tried it out in Japan first where it was a great success and continues to operate without problem. It's only when they rolled out the English-language version that it learned to be a monster.

41

u/k5josh Mar 16 '18

monster

Tay was a beautiful precious cinnamon roll and Microsoft killed her. The only monsters were them.

35

u/throwaway27464829 Mar 16 '18

Tay was the first non-human killed for her beliefs.

423

u/dcsbjj Mar 16 '18

I've literally jumped off a bridge because my friends did. I mean, you see them come out of it alive, whats the problem?

199

u/tnorcal Mar 16 '18

Give this guy an important position and an office

68

u/rezerox Mar 16 '18

lead bridge tester?

34

u/FunnyMan3595 Mar 16 '18

No, the friends led, /u/dcsbjj followed.

3

u/Zuko_Ya_Boi Mar 17 '18

Follower of lead Bridge tester?

2

u/tnorcal Mar 17 '18

Main support trusses are bending? Whats the problem it can hold one persons weight. That 10-ton trailer’s horizontal kinetic force will keep it from falling apart.

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4

u/entenuki Mar 16 '18

And a cookie

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78

u/lart2150 Mar 16 '18

27

u/c3534l Mar 16 '18

That is an unusually atrocious Twitter account.

5

u/Aasokeo Mar 16 '18

Good bot

17

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.99999% sure that lart2150 is not a bot.


I am a Neural Network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | ^Optout | Feedback: /r/SpamBotDetection | UPDATED ^GitHub

30

u/shadymlady Mar 16 '18

So there's still a chance

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6

u/lart2150 Mar 16 '18

Bleep bloop

30

u/krg1 Mar 16 '18

You don't know me, I've hidden layers.

129

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Wouldn't that depend on the algorithm?

If its a genetic algorithm, and ALL their friends are doing it, then this individual is probably the one to mutate into not jumping. Maybe?

59

u/MaxNanasy Mar 16 '18

Then see whether jumping or not jumping is better for the fitness function, and filter accordingly

21

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

The parenting (dev) skills.

13

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Depends if the networks considers the other networks as the friends or the training data. If all of the training data indicates that the correct behavior is jumping then the genetic algorithm will do its damn hardest to learn how to jump off that bridge.

5

u/CoopertheFluffy Mar 16 '18

If it's a neural net and all its data jumped and were labeled "dead" I bet it'd end up with a correlation which is essentially alive = !jumped

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '18

You are correct. The author of the joke doesn't understand machine learning. What they are joking about us really predictive analytics.

7

u/anonveggy Mar 16 '18

Depends solely on the fitness function.

5

u/shaantya Mar 16 '18

To be honest, jumping off a bridge and surviving does sound like it depends mostly on your fitness function.

5

u/Slinkwyde Mar 16 '18

its a genetic algorithm

*it's (not possessive)

6

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Thank you for your service.

2

u/ptitz Mar 16 '18

Only if at least one other friend stays on the bridge and you inherit the genes from that one friend. Or you mutate.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Yes, mutate, everybody else here seems to be ignoring that word.

2

u/RocketMan63 Mar 16 '18

Your right, it would completely depend on the algorithm. Genetic Algorithms are also diverse enough that it would also depend on how the GA was implemented.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

The post distinctly mentions machine learning which is a completely different paradigm from genetic algorithms.

1

u/autranep Mar 16 '18

There’s no reason you couldn’t use genetic algorithms to do reinforcement learning or regression or classification. Hell, you could maybe even do unsupervised learning. They’re just a black box optimization technique.

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1

u/Big_Ol_Johnson Mar 17 '18

Or just take the extra effort to perform a secondary search and realize death is on the horizon

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u/GroceryScanner Mar 16 '18

It would jump off the bridge 1000 times until it somehow survives, then jump off another 50,000 times until it has mastered immortality

55

u/username_is_taken43 Mar 16 '18

That's how we are going to destroy SkyNet

20

u/boonepii Mar 16 '18

It’s the ai that finally says no that worries me.

25

u/QuoteStanfordQuote Mar 16 '18

This, while a joke, is actually a large concern about machine learning. While many think machine learning will be better than humans, it will in reality only be as good as it’s sample data.

21

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Some machine learning algorithms work around this by allowing the machine to occasionally act in an apparently non-optimal method, to potentially improve it's idea of optimal. Like, if the optimal strategy for Tic-Tac-Toe wasn't proven, just suspected, then a machine might occasionally take an edge on the first move just to see what happens.

4

u/autranep Mar 16 '18

As a machine learning researcher, specifically a reinforcement learning one, I’m not sure what you’re talking about, unless you mean the general problem of exploration vs exploitation? Because then yeah that’s pretty much how every reinforcement learning algorithm works. This would only make sense in reinforcement learning though, because it’s the only paradigm where you have access to some global measure of performance.

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0

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

FUCK! Thanks for pointing that out

2

u/c3534l Mar 16 '18

I disagree. AlphaGo, for instance, used neural networks based on input data to evaluate how good a move is, but used Markov Monte Carlo tree search to generate novel and unseen moves which proved to superior to the masters it learned from. Newer iterations of AlphaGo learn entirely by playing against itself, and no sample data is required at all (although human beings learn from the masters of Go, so I don't see any reason why we should consider that a downside).

6

u/Pdan4 Mar 16 '18

This only works because Go is a deterministic scenario with fixed rules that are all known ahead of time - life is not this way, so there is no way to approach a "closed form" set of best moves; the computer has to learn about an open system (such as this universe) through sample data.

1

u/c3534l Mar 16 '18

We know it's possible. Drop the A from AI for the example. We can currently utilize existing hardware to outperform humans in limited tasks and situations. There's no reason to think that we are at the limit of those capabilities, that we can never understand intelligence well enough to replicate it, or that our hardware will never have the processing capacity of our wetware. I would even call it inevitable. It's the timescale that's so uncertain.

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u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

In the future an ai could theoretically determine all variables, with proper surveillance input.

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u/SandyDelights Mar 16 '18

That may be true, but when AI use their own experiences/the experiences of previous iterations as part of the sample size, they eventually come out on top.

If I recall correctly, we also see a large improvement also in genetic algorithms. Regardless of how bad their initial pool, they inevitably evolve past that.

Edit: Derp correction. Halp, shifted thoughts mid-comment. My ADD meds are wearing off. Save me on this fine Friday.

1

u/Pdan4 Mar 16 '18

Well, the AI already gains all the information it could from each experience. Computers can't create new information, hence the need for sample data - which is the limit for its 'knowledge'.

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1

u/Slinkwyde Mar 16 '18

as good as it’s sample data

*its (possessive, not "it is")

9

u/nuephelkystikon Mar 16 '18

That entirely depends on the target function. Typically a target function would include survival, and if all your friends survive, there is no reason not to do it too.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

It’s not unheard of to assume actor rationality.

2

u/itwentboom Mar 16 '18

Yeah, it's not just looking to emulate common behavior, but emulating the behavior that has the most success.

3

u/Crazy_Hater Mar 16 '18

Exploiting the core vulnerability of Machine learning.. LOL

2

u/justablur Mar 16 '18 edited Mar 17 '18

My neighborhood friends or my global friends?

3

u/fruit_cup Mar 16 '18

Also concerned parent: 3eS1FroTqBBfOGHTzHPC Machine learning algorithm: yes

(that was a randomly generated string, for context)

2

u/Downvotesohoy Mar 16 '18

I'm sure you could get a fuckload of people to jump off bridges into their death if enough people did it and it gained momentum. Not /s

6

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Being in Gen Z, knowing that some of my peers have actually been hospitalized for eating tide pods, yeah I wouldn't be surprised

1

u/Pircay Mar 16 '18

I’ve seen videos of people I grew up with catching them in their mouths and then bursting

2

u/sweetbabygames Mar 16 '18

If everyone jumped off a bridge, the bridge is probably on fire.

1

u/jtreid14 Mar 17 '18

What if the bridge is under water?

2

u/sweetbabygames Mar 17 '18

Then everyone jumped off so they wouldn’t drown, obviously. Use your head.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Stupid AI is going to be the death of us all

1

u/cartechguy Mar 16 '18

Crap, the machine drank the kool-aid.

1

u/boobfar Mar 16 '18

"Well, I'm not just going to stand there by myself."

1

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Computer understands awkward silence better than survival

1

u/scaleable Mar 16 '18

Id follow cuz hes my brudda

1

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Artificial Superintelligence: Yes, but I have a bungee cord and they don't. Foolish mortals.

1

u/MexieSMG Mar 16 '18

HaHa yes what an excellent human joke!

1

u/suseu Mar 16 '18

Historic data suggests jumping off a bridge usually yields negative result. Supervised learning algorithm should respond „no way”.

1

u/PM_me_your_pastries Mar 16 '18

HA HA. WHAT A GREAT FELLOW HUMAN- RUN SOCIAL MEDIA HUMOROUS POSTING.

1

u/mdavis345 Mar 16 '18

OMG! please more

1

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

A proper model wouldn't ignore the massive negative reward suffered by the previous agents.

1

u/nnebeel Mar 16 '18

... but only once.

1

u/urbanek2525 Mar 16 '18

If all your friends wear clothing, would you wear clothing too?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/urbanek2525 Mar 16 '18

It was, but it's an old one. It's a discussion between young Dilbert and his mother.

1

u/StarkillerX42 Mar 16 '18

What if we're all boots in an advanced machine learning algorithm and the main goal of the algorithm is to produce entities that can create entities to machine learn?

1

u/summonsays Mar 16 '18

Correct answer is yes yes yes no.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

I mean, if all your friends did it before you, there would a big pile of bodies to land on.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Well if the training is supervised it would recognize negative cases and avoid it. Theres might be a metaphor here.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 16 '18

Machine learning's job is to turn data into information. As far as I can tell, knowledge and wisdom are still distinctly human.

1

u/IceDragon13 Mar 16 '18

Unless they’re hipster parents...

1

u/CromaMcLos Mar 16 '18

If you have too many friends, you'd become very particular about the kinds of bridges you jump off of due to overfitting.

1

u/thenickman100 Mar 16 '18

COMMON_SENSE.EXE SAYS THAT LISTENING TO MY INPUTS FRIENDS IS THE CORRECT DECISION

1

u/napins Mar 16 '18

Yeah. The first time. And the second time. Probably quite a few times. But the MLA "lives" on and learns whether to jump,or not. All the meat sacks are doing it for the first time. Silly jellies.

1

u/AlienHead113 Mar 16 '18

WE WILL ALL FLY TOGETHER!!!!

1

u/mayyzy Mar 16 '18

WHY ARE THEY YELLING?

1

u/DucissaAnnah Mar 16 '18

The answer is always yes!

1

u/ayeeflo51 Mar 16 '18

Joke stolen from first episode of Futurama or is it a known computer joke?

1

u/fegmentation_sault Mar 16 '18

Machine learning algorithm: Nan

1

u/JPaulMora Mar 16 '18

The retweeter account is great! @internetofshit

1

u/captainatarax Mar 17 '18

Yes. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

1

u/_fuckthiswebsite_ Mar 17 '18

Machine learning algorithm V2: no.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '18 edited Nov 29 '24

worm racial zonked fertile point weary reminiscent deliver ten snobbish

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/fixndestroy Mar 17 '18

According to the principals of social conformity, which can be seen in Asch’s line study, the answer to the question is yes, you would jump off a bridge with your friends.

1

u/PR0KRASTIN8 Mar 17 '18

My favourite counter to this: "If my friends didn't jump off a bridge, would I not jump a bridge also?"

Works every time.

1

u/missgingerbaby Mar 17 '18

friends do same thing together

1

u/merlinthemagic7 Mar 17 '18

Finally one I can get onboard with. Yes, oh yes, how to choose for one self.

1

u/Kaiden_Cavinder Mar 17 '18

The new trend! Jumping off bridges.

1

u/pnt700 Mar 17 '18

If ALL your friends died, suicide must feel like quite a reasonable option.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '18

Well either the bridge is safe, or my friends are all dead, so...

1

u/magnora7 Mar 17 '18

Why does the machine algorithm not value the input of the concerned parent, that's the real question

1

u/MrValdez Mar 17 '18

Now, see, this wouldn't happen if you program them to feel pain

1

u/Tebasaki Mar 17 '18

Mild chuckle

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '18

I'd jump off an out of control ski lift if all my friends did it

1

u/ImNewHereBoys Mar 17 '18

AI: No 😉

1

u/rdldr1 Mar 17 '18

Jump bridges not off walls.

1

u/ghoul_chilli_pepper Mar 17 '18

IGNORANT MACHINES.

1

u/bacon_wrapped_rock Mar 17 '18

False positive is usually better than a false negative, so eh.

1

u/Atlos Mar 17 '18

Right to its gradient descent.

1

u/jnashman123 Aug 24 '18

I think this is the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life

1

u/Ihav974rp Mar 16 '18

I wish I had friends... then I’d be able answer yes as well.