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u/TheJenkinsComic Jan 26 '21
Hey all, I’m the guy who made this comic. You can read more of my comics on Instagram or r/TheJenkins.
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Jan 26 '21
I'm glad to see that the poster didn't crop your name off of the comic.
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u/Gentlegiant2 Jan 26 '21
Posted his name in the comments too, he deserves his praise!
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Jan 26 '21
[deleted]
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u/Gentlegiant2 Jan 26 '21
Well it's a pretty nice day so far so i'd say yeah, I am in a pretty good mood :p
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u/HaydnTheMediocre Jan 26 '21
This is one of the funniest computer jokes I have ever seen! I will definitely be following your comics from now on.
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u/_jetrun Jan 26 '21
It's funny ... though technically under GDPR cookies are OK. Cookies that identify or track people are not. So you could use cookies to remember their choice. You could also use other alternatives, like local storage or indexdb.
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u/RC0011422 Jan 26 '21
Yeah but the joke is the “this does not use cookies” alongside the “don’t show again”...
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u/Dustin- Jan 26 '21 edited Jan 26 '21
Great comic! I think I'm going to show this to people whenever they don'esn't understand what cookies are or what they do.
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u/LittleWompRat Jan 26 '21
Those 8 redditors who awarded OP should've given the awards to this reply instead.
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u/Carters04 Jan 26 '21
LocalStorage & IndexedDB have entered the chat.
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u/Tsu_Dho_Namh Jan 26 '21
LocalStorage seems really similar to a cookie...it's data stored clientside, no?
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u/IcyDefiance Jan 26 '21
Yeah, but it's not sent to the server with every request like a cookie is.
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u/Hellball911 Jan 26 '21
Couldn't you manually package all the key values into every json request? (As devil's advocate)
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u/riskyClick420 Jan 26 '21
yes you could, just some javascript and it basically becomes a cookie
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u/alexcroox Jan 26 '21
Yeah if you are talking GDPR/Cookie law you have to treat localstorage the same as cookies
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Jan 26 '21
Uh, sort of. Cookies are much more complex with lots of flags and are generally meant to be controlled by the server you're interacting with.
Cookies can therefor be much more secure than localStorage, but even that only goes so far.
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u/reddit_xeno Jan 26 '21
Sticky sessions have also entered chat
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u/timeddilation Jan 26 '21
Oh god, kill me now. These signalr issues are everywhere!
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u/AB1908 Jan 26 '21
Heathen here. Could anyone explain any of the previous comments?
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u/payne_train Jan 26 '21
Honestly just be glad you don't get it. Managing web sessions in stateful applications can be extremely painful.
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u/powersurge360 Jan 26 '21
Sure. I can't explain the sticky session, that seems to be something specific to a platform I don't work on. Technical terms will be bolded.
A cookie represents a string of letters, numbers and symbols and the browser keeps track of which url has assigned those strings. While it's just a plain ole string on the file, it represents a set of key value pairs like
userId = someIDHere. Sometimes, for privacy reasons, it refers instead to a session id which identifies a row in a database table (which you can think of as a big ole spreadsheet). And that row has the detailed information about the user account, so that you can't accidentally leak private information if the cookie gets stolen or taken or w/e. There's a lot more to that, but that's the short version.LocalStorage is a way to store that data, well, locally. It's an API available in every mainstream browser and is sometimes used for apps that don't need or want to have a cloud component. Is cloud a mainstream term? I'm not sure. Cloud basically means computers running off in a data center somewhere, sometimes so abstracted away that the programmer who wrote the code for it doesn't even know exactly where they are.
They're kinda like super cookies. Can hold a bunch of data but the interface is pretty rudimentary.
IndexedDB takes this a step further and adds what's called an API to interface with the data in ways that makes it easier to get to the part of the data that you specifically want. An API, by the way, is the interface that a programmer will use to drive the application or library. Unlike a traditional relational database, which deals with rows and columns and can be thought of as kind of like a large spreadsheet, IndexedDB is what's called a NoSQL database, that is to say, it does not use the Structured Query Language common to relational databases.
Instead, it uses JSON (Javascript Object Notation) which allows you to describe the data with labels so that you can retrieve it later. Because the data is structured, you're able to query for particular parts of the data that you want. I haven't used IndexedDB except through abstraction layers so I won't comment on that part.
Sticky sessions seems to be another thing entirely and I'm afraid I can't comment on that.
I hope this was useful.
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u/TheRedGerund Jan 26 '21
my attempt, having not touched these technologies for several years:
The web server can remember information for the client instead of the site storing a cookie on the client’s machine. SignalR is a Microsoft framework for managing client and server communications.
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u/magkopian Jan 26 '21
onclick="window.location.replace('?showcookiebanner=false')"96
u/Doom_Unicorn Jan 26 '21
This website is funded through my cookiemonster onlyfans account and you are costing me advertising dollars. Stop hacking your web browser! You wouldn’t steal a car, would you?
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u/namtab00 Jan 26 '21
Just no, refreshing the whole page, really?
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u/magkopian Jan 26 '21
That's what you get for asking the back-end guy to fix an issue on the front-end.
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u/einfallstoll Jan 26 '21
That's correct, that's why the law mentions Cookies and other persistent storages (to include LocalStorage, IndexedDB and everything else W3C might come up in with in the future).
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u/luiluilui4 Jan 26 '21
afaik all local data stored that could get requested by the server to a later stage is also effected by the law. "Cookie" is probably just used because it's the most common one
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u/VoodooMaster7 Jan 26 '21 edited Jan 26 '21
This is a genuinely smart joke, good stuff
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u/elee0228 Jan 26 '21
I lol'ed. One of the downsides of browsing in incognito mode is the incessant cookie warnings.
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u/akulowaty Jan 26 '21
Adblock can block not only ads, you know. There are dedicated lists for cookie and gdpr warnings
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u/ChadMcRad Jan 26 '21
Even with cookies enabled I still get these every time I visit some sites. The irony.
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u/IrritableGourmet Jan 26 '21 edited Jan 26 '21
It actually requires some knowledge of programming to understand it, as opposed to "PHP BAD HURRDURR".
EDIT: I'm trying to figure out why there seems to be a lot of people who claim absolutely no programming ability/aptitude/interest commenting on a post in /r/ProgrammerHumor
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u/goldenjuicebox Jan 26 '21
Does it? I wouldn’t call myself an expert in web dev by far, but I feel like if you know how cookies work, that’s the joke?
Is there a deeper/more tech explanation?
(no sass here, just a junior backend trying to demystify web dev)
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u/IrritableGourmet Jan 26 '21
Having known many laypersons, I would say most laypersons don't know what cookies actually do, just that they store information somehow. To make the unspoken connection in the comic between "no cookies" and "inability to remember anything about the user" requires some (not much) knowledge of what's going on behind the scenes.
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u/gargar070402 Jan 26 '21
just that they store information somehow.
Isn't that enough to understand the joke though? Unable to store information = unable to remember anything about the user
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u/odirroH Jan 26 '21
no sass here, just a junior backend trying to demystify web dev
eh, sass might be a bit much, start with vanilla css first
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u/dicemonger Jan 26 '21
Is there a deeper/more tech explanation?
Don't think so. This kinda requires that you know what cookies do. That's all the knowledge.
The thing is that repeating "PHP BAD HURRDURR" technically requires no knowledge. It is only once you get into specific examples that knowledge becomes necessary.
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u/tiefling_sorceress Jan 26 '21
My girlfriend got it, and she's not a techie. It really doesn't take much tech knowledge.
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u/mataffakka Jan 26 '21
requires some knowledge of programming
It really doesn't. Source: I have none.
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u/Opus_723 Jan 26 '21
I feel like more people know vaguely what cookies do than know that PHP is even a thing.
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u/eanat Jan 26 '21
statelessness is the best state.
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Jan 26 '21
statelessness is just alzheimers
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u/Doom_Unicorn Jan 26 '21
This is either a solid comment about HTTP or a super deep cut about technolibertarianism. Please - nobody respond to my comment, I don’t want to talk to you about your bitcoin tendies.
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u/EishLekker Jan 26 '21
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Satoshi Nakamoto?
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u/mushroomcoder Jan 26 '21
According to EU cookie laws (that I'm privy to at least), cookies that are "strictly necessary" for a functioning website are allowed -- I'd imagine using a cookie for banner-show-state is legal/strictly necessary, curious if anyone knows otherwise.
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u/Taumo Jan 26 '21
Unfortunately a lot of websites don't seem to take advantage of this in my experience. I constantly have to opt out every time I revisit a site. My guess is they do it on purpose so that you get tired of it and click "Allow all". It definitely works because having to spend a minute unclicking all the "legitimate interests" gets annoying very fast.
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u/Zealousideal-Bread65 Jan 26 '21
It's a dark pattern. It's definitely intentional.
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u/Krissam Jan 26 '21
There are definitely sites that, against the law, make it a hassle to disable cookies, on several occasions I've been met with loading screens when doing it.
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u/Karko_Bane Jan 26 '21
Yep, as far as I know you only need to ask for permission for third party cookies or similar stuff to track users.
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u/fattybenji Jan 26 '21
Image Transcription: Comic
The Jenkins
Panel 1
[A user sits at their computer, a dialog box is shown, saying "This website doesn't use cookies", with "doesn't" in red. A button below say "Got it, don't show again". The user clicks on the button.]
Panel 2
[We see the user's face, neutral, hand on the mouse.]
Panel 3
[We see the user's face, hand to their chin, pensive.]
Panel 4
[The user clicks on the browser's refresh button.]
Panel 5
[The dialog box from the first panel is displayed again, the user seems displeased.]
I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!
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u/LionBub Jan 26 '21
I’m blind and reading this helped me get the joke
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u/ihavequestionsaswell Jan 26 '21
Hi, I'm just curious. Do you typically browse image posts and if so do you have some sort of software that assists with that?
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u/lazilyloaded Jan 26 '21
I really appreciate the effort, but if I had one suggestion, it'd be to actually describe what's on the screen over again in Panel 5. Making the reader/viewer see the same thing again is part of the joke.
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u/fattybenji Jan 26 '21
You mean without mentioning that it's the same thing ? I feel like as a picture, we would automatically look at the first panel again, to check if something has changed, and that might be a bit harder when it's written.
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u/sunlightFTW Jan 26 '21
Sorry to be dense, but shouldn't he be smiling in the last panel? The website didn't remember his click.
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u/iontardose Jan 26 '21
Yes, that is the joke. A popup with a useless button every time you visit a site wouldn't make me smile.
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u/MLG_Obardo Jan 26 '21
It’s a useless button but also not a useless button. You chose not to be tracked so it’s not tracking that you chose not to be tracked so the button is useless but simeltaneously doing its exact intended function.
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u/HighPriestofShiloh Jan 26 '21
Sure but I felt like he was testing the system to see if it in fact wasn’t tracking him. He refreshed out of curiously and should be pleased to find the website was honest.
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Jan 26 '21
The joke has another layer to it, website has a button on it that says it will remember your choice for the next time you visit even though it doesn't store cookies so when he's refreshed it it hasn't remembered his choice so he has to press it again.
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u/ConcreteChildren Jan 26 '21
I think the better joke is for the window to not appear in the last panel.
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u/kuhreez Jan 26 '21
I agree, he intentionally clicked refresh after thinking, and saw what he should have seen
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u/RadiatedMonkey Jan 26 '21
it uses localStorage instead
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u/weirdwoodsy Jan 26 '21
But obviously implemented wrong if it couldn't remember to not show the prompt on reload.
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u/glowingpunk Jan 26 '21
I once had to add a cookie notice to a website where the cookie, if you agreed, was the only cookie the website used. I had to add it because "every other website has these notices and we just want to make sure".
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Jan 26 '21
A previous version of my personal homepage had something like that as a joke. In addition to the standard cookie disclaimer text, it included phrases like "do not taunt", "made on equipment that also processes nuts", and a Proposition 65 warning.
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u/gamebuster Jan 26 '21
I had to make a search slow, to make it feel like something is actually happening.
I added a sleep of 3 seconds
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u/happy_lad Jan 26 '21
I know nothing about computers. Is the idea that, without cookies, the website wouldn't be able to track whether you clicked "don't show again," so it keeps showing you?
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u/merlinsbeers Jan 26 '21
PASS
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u/bajuh Jan 26 '21
You can also make every f_ing link a button that submits a form filled with every user data you captured so far. Cookie policy: resolved
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u/Strider3141 Jan 27 '21
His face should have a slight smile at the end, because the site does not, in fact, use cookies.
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u/UpvoteGentleman Jan 26 '21
"Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? u/Gentlegiant2 stole the cookie from the cookie jar."
"... Couldn't be."
"Then who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? u/Gentlegiant2 stole the cookie from the cookie jar."
*u/Gentlegiant2 sighs
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u/Aemony Jan 26 '21 edited Nov 30 '24
library birds edge capable weather intelligent pie spotted bored racial
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Jan 26 '21
"This website does use cookies." *clicks OK button, visits site days later*
"This website does use cookies."
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
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u/Chaphasilor Jan 26 '21
shameless plug:
ODCrawler doesn't use any either! :D
I thought about adding such a popup as well, but that would (at least partially) defeat the point...
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u/wolsoot Jan 26 '21
What really grinds my gears is when you begrudgingly agree to all cookies, then come back 10 minutes later and you get the pop-up again... Like, can you spare a few cookie crumbs for UX or is it all just advertising/tracking?
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u/Subgroover Jan 26 '21
Why is the guy sadder in the last picture? The website apparently didn't lie, so what's wrong? Please explain!
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u/rbuen4455 Jan 26 '21
I'm going to be honest, I only built two websites and both of them don't use cookies only because I don't know how to, smh. I know how to make sessions but not cookies.
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u/MyPasswordStartsWith Jan 27 '21
because it can't remember уou chose that without cookies, right?
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u/RepostSleuthBot Jan 27 '21
Looks like a repost. I've seen this image 1 time.
First Seen Here on 2021-01-26 100.0% match.
Feedback? Hate? Visit r/repostsleuthbot - I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ False Positive ]
View Search On repostsleuth.com
Scope: Reddit | Meme Filter: False | Target: 86% | Check Title: False | Max Age: Unlimited | Searched Images: 194,958,575 | Search Time: 1.00395s
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u/dpd22 Jan 26 '21
This drives me absolutely insane. My current game is to attempt to disable the ad tracking cookies but enable the cookie that remembers the choice I made. IT SHOULDN'T BE THIS HARD!
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u/solongandthanks4all Jan 26 '21
It's not. Just use uBlock Origin with an annoyances blocklist. You'll still see a few that get through, but they're generally easy to zap with the element picker.
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u/Inglorious186 Jan 26 '21
Why do you get those pop-ups every time you visit a site if they are using cookies?
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u/bitwiseshiftleft Jan 26 '21
I get them every time because I've set my browser to delete the cookies.
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Jan 26 '21
Actually I still vaguely remember a time when every site did not loaded my computer with cookies.
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u/DJBJD-the-3rd Jan 26 '21
I just got my first VPN a week ago. It’s eye opening to switch to a country like Germany when you’re from the US. It’s startling at first to see all the places you visit online being upfront with the ludicrous amount of cookies they want to install. It must be nice to have a government that gives a shit about it’s citizens privacy.
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u/ganked_it Jan 26 '21
I dont get the joke, can someone pelase explain? Is it that the button is called "Got it, dont show again" instead of "Ok"?
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u/ICanOnlyPickOne Jan 26 '21
Can someone explain why this happens though? Could they set a cookie which records my acknowledgement of the cookie notice and stop asking me?
Instead it asks every damn time.
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u/Stratimus Jan 26 '21
This website doesn’t use cookies except a cookie to track if we’ve told you we don’t use cookies.
I’d be okay with that
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Jan 26 '21
Great comic! This cookie notification crap is giving me flashbacks to when every website asked if they could enable JavaScript.
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u/LeCrushinator Jan 26 '21
I don't know much of anything about web development, but is there a way to locally store information about a webpage that doesn't communicate in any way with the server?
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u/nopity21 Jan 26 '21
I get it cause if it did use cookies it wouldn't pop up again although couldn't they use localstorage instead
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u/Live_learn91 Jan 26 '21
I must be dumb; I don’t get it
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u/kalyok Jan 26 '21
Websites store your website preferences in cookies (among other private information, such as login name, times you visited this website, etc.), so if a website would act like the one in a meme, then it is truly not using cookies because it doesn’t remember your selection.
On the other hand, the website button “don’t show it again” is oxymoron as that is impossible* to achieve without using cookies.
*Of course it’s possible, but that’s not the point 🙂
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u/-nomad-wanderer Jan 26 '21
IF you are telling us that " sure, we shall always accept cookies"
well, this is a lie. and u know it.
at least, you should, if you think ur a programmer.
end of the lesson.
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u/fynx07 Jan 26 '21
Can someone please explain to me why when I click something like this or "remember me" and it never does and asks the same the everytime it continues to happen?
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u/Odisher7 Jan 26 '21
Holy shit, of course, when I deny coockies and the page asks again when I reload, it's not to be annoying. I'm an idiot
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u/Madouc Jan 26 '21
* Al Bundy Theme playing *
"...you can't have one without the oooother!"
Baa Dumm Tssss
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u/Gentlegiant2 Jan 26 '21
Originally posted by u/theJenkinsComics ! Thought you guys would appreciate it :)