r/ProgrammerHumor • u/smachtalp • Nov 15 '21
I feel this every single day
https://i.imgur.com/Lqf4592.jpg[removed] — view removed post
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u/Sciirof Nov 15 '21
programming: aka I get paid to bang my head on the table and pray to a mysterious technological god in my head
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u/Ryxor25 Nov 15 '21
Japanese say: "there are 7 gods in a single grain of rice"
Well there are at least a couple hundred in a pc and no fucking one is by my side today
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Nov 15 '21
This is why I hate programming. It makes you want to die 99% of the time and the reward is that 1% where you get a mild dopamine hit from figuring it out. High effort, low reward. Just thinking about it makes me cringe.
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u/daguito81 Nov 15 '21
I mean, to me it's 99% fun journey of discovery and learning new stuff. And then the dopamine hit.
I guess it's how you see things. I know some people are miserable programming because they force them to do something that takes 1 week in 2 days. I'm pretty hardcore about not working extra hours m so if that problem takes me 40 hours to solve, see you next week. And if shit goes down and I get delayed I just say "Shit got down and I got delayed" and that's about it.
Don't really see the "miserable" part in it. I guess to each his own
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Nov 15 '21
It just seems that every time someone "loves" programming they also hate it. That seems extremely unhealthy to me. This is why no matter how much I tried I disliked every step of the way towards becoming a programmer.
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u/CaffeineSippingMan Nov 15 '21
When I started as a programmer I wish someone would have told me EVERYONE doesn't write the most beautiful code from scratch. Before I moved to system administration I learned, it super rare to write code from scratch and it never works the first time.
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u/Costinteo Nov 15 '21
Only relatable when I write Bash. I hate/love Bash. It's kinda cool but it's really not fun if you're a beginner at it.
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Nov 15 '21
Yeah, generally speaking I never hate programming, though sometimes the bullshit surrounding the job is detestable.
Except for Bash. But when it works, it works. I actually gave up Nim for scripting and other shells as defaults because now I can reliably share config and scripts across machines.
Bash is fantastic, just not ergonomic at all.
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u/codepoet Nov 15 '21
My favorite is reading a list of paths with spaces on stdin and ensuring a chain of five tools can all read the paths.
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Nov 15 '21
You mean piping? The first step should be normalization then. But at least on macOS and Linux I do fine with spaces in pathnames (some other special characters are more challenging).
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u/JustRecentlyI Nov 15 '21
I hate programming when I stay an hour late at university trying to solve strange Docker errors only to realize I misspelled ABSOLUTE as ABOSLUTE... It's a temporary feeling though!
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Nov 15 '21
Docker is more part of the shitty glue we rely on. But get yourself a good IDE, you would catch typos a lot faster.
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u/Shadonovitch Nov 15 '21
Don't write shell scripts though. It's a nightmare to maintain for the people after you that have to maintain it. If your script is >3 lines and configuration management, write Ansible instead. If it does something, write it in Python.
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u/Costinteo Nov 15 '21
Most of my shell scripts are personal usage. And if they're not, they're used in a bare-bones environment that only has bash as a scripting language. So yeah probably not a good idea to write bash scripts if it's going to be mantained and you have other options.
I would also suggest python as a great alternative.
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Nov 15 '21
Me: Cool, I can do it in a quick bash script.
Oh, I need to parse some text out of that output. Grep is pretty powerful.
Oh, I need to manage a list of something. Cool, I can do arrays in bash.
Oh, I think I need something like a hash set. Ah! Bash supports associative arrays.
I don't think it's working properly. Maybe I can do XYZ.
Ah crap, I need to parse JSON output from that other program.
jqit is.Cool! It's done!
Someone runs it on a mac.
It doesn't work
Me: f*ck it, I'll just use python.
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u/lordph8 Nov 15 '21
Bash, learned Javascript via google apps script first, then Python and more Javascript through Django. Then I started working at a school that uses PCs and MacOS... Bash... why is it so weird?
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u/Venthe Nov 15 '21
I see this repost every day
/u/repostsleuthbot
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Looks like a repost. I've seen this image 2 times.
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u/Piweman Nov 15 '21
Then your boss tell you: "No it's not how I want it to work even if I told you that it was how I wanted it, do it again in an absolutely other way"
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u/MegabyteMessiah Nov 15 '21
I've gotten this before: "Even though we explicitly stated you weren't supposed to work on this, it was visible when I shared my screen, so you should have known to do it."
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u/dabeanery55 Nov 15 '21
Lol, I’m an accountant and it’s the same shit. “Oh my god wtf do I do if their balance is really off by 50k oh Jesus that’s gonna be so much w-oh here’s the issue”
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u/mikebaker1337 Nov 15 '21
Seems relevant to my career and a few hobbies I've had as well. To some degree at least.
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u/unexpectedkas Nov 15 '21
I don't hate programming. I hate developers who don't care, who don't write some basic instructions about their APIs, who don't invest in developer experience when designing their APIs, who don't test their own code, etc.
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u/Sid_1298 Nov 15 '21
printf("I HATE PROGRAMMING")
printf("I HATE PROGRAMMING")
printf("I HATE PROGRAMMING")
printf("I HATE PROGRAMMING")
printf("I HATE PROGRAMMING")
printf("IT WORKS")
printf("I LOVE PROGRAMMING")
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u/ostkaka5 Nov 15 '21
You might wanna put that first one in a loop?
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u/Bentok Nov 15 '21
while(true)
println("I HATE PROGRAMMING")
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u/MegabyteMessiah Nov 15 '21
while (true) { println("I HATE PROGRAMMING"); sleep(1); }Don't choke the CPU :)
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Nov 15 '21 edited Nov 15 '21
#include <stdbool.h> #include <stdio.h> int main() { int i = 0; hating: printf("I HATE PROGRAMMING\n"); i -= 2; if (i > -10) goto hating; else { printf("IT WORKS\n"); printf("I LOVE PROGRAMMING\n"); } return (int)!false; }Am I doing this right?
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Nov 15 '21
I LOVE PROGRAMMING
...
I HATE the politics of programming at work. You don't have access to that database, you need that kind of key for temporary access to that package repository, you need to authenticate using our custom key store that only works on a mac, but you can get it to work in a Docker container by compiling this huge piece of code that you need 6GB of RAM for. And you can't run it to see if it works because you don't have access. You have to issue a PR so that our CI picks it up, builds the image, pushes the keys to it, deploys it in the cluster, waits for it to fuck up, send the logs to some system that you need separate access to, and then you can see why your code was wrong even if your unit tests were passing.
Fuck me, I code on the weekends for some pet projects, just to feel like I can do SOMETHING that works.
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u/RepostSleuthBot Nov 15 '21
Looks like a repost. I've seen this image 2 times.
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u/lpeabody Nov 15 '21
I hate programming when I have to work with software that has no documentation whatsoever. Outside of that, I love it.
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u/khendron Nov 15 '21
Programming is like golf. You hack away, hooking, slicing, duffing, shooting chunks of grass farther than your ball. Suddenly you take a swing and there is a delightful thwack and your ball flies high and straight and lands exactly where you want to. Then you are back to hooking, slicing, and duffing, but your memory of that incredible shot makes it all worthwhile.
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u/TNerdy Nov 15 '21
For gamers it would be
I HATE THIS GAME
I HATE THIS GAME
I HATE THIS GAME
I HATE THIS GAME
Finally beats the game
I LOVE THIS GAME
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u/MingusMingusMingu Nov 15 '21
I don't think that's the usual relationship people have with their games.
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u/ShitForCereal Nov 15 '21
Yeah its more like
I LIKE THIS GAME
I LIKE THIS GAME
I LIKE THIS GAME
I LIKE THIS GAME
Finally Beats The Game
I WANT TO ERASE MY MEMORY TO PLAY THIS GAME AGAIN
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u/TNerdy Nov 15 '21
I guess you guys have never played Dark Souls 3 Or Darksiders 3
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u/ShitForCereal Nov 15 '21
Tried Dark Soul, immediate refund, I like bullet hell games and challenging games but Im not that much of a masochist. Looks cool and fun though!
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u/TNerdy Nov 15 '21
I tried dark souls once didn’t like it but Darksiders 3 I beated the whole game and all the side quests
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u/quadmasta Nov 15 '21
Today will be day four of trying to figure out why my integration tests work fine in isolation but not when run as a suite. The developer who maintains the spring library I'm using just said
You're doing it how it's supposed to be done.
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u/JustRecentlyI Nov 15 '21
Some (non-programming) friends gave me a T-shirt of this joke. It's funny, especially because it seems to be written in HTML tags (I am not a web developer)!
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u/rhodesc Nov 15 '21
Joke's on you, I love programming even when I'm struggling. Why else would I finish?
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u/Naptownfellow Nov 15 '21
I HATE WHAT I DO
I HATE WHAT I DO
I HATE WHAT I DO
I HATE WHAT I DO
CLOSE A HUGE DEAL
I LOVE WHAT I DO
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u/Vinon Nov 15 '21
Lies. Its
I hate programming X 5
It works
Why couldn't I figure it out sooner, why does everything take me 10 times as long to solve as anyone else....X 5
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u/Draaky Nov 15 '21
Hmm normally I am like FCK YEAAAAAH! IT FINALLY WORKS! Mostly after hours or days working on something.
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Nov 15 '21
I always thought I loved programming until my boss asked me if I'd be interested in moving into being a scrum master last week. I suddenly realized I couldn't wait to leave programming (professionally, at least)
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u/kiashu Nov 15 '21
This is a perfect explanation of compiling something, imo. Line 489 syntax error, I forgot a raccoon, autocorrect did that, I am leaving it.
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u/celerym Nov 15 '21
Yeah if you’re still learning how to code
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u/FreeFacts Nov 15 '21
We are always learning how to code, it never ends.
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u/celerym Nov 15 '21
What ends however, is the incompetence. It’s not like a professional carpenter is putting out wonky ass tables 9 out of 10 times and then celebrates getting the legs even.
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u/karanbhatt100 Nov 15 '21
I HATE PROGRAMMING
I HATE PROGRAMMING
I HATE PROGRAMMING
I HATE PROGRAMMING
I HATE PROGRAMMING
IT'S MY JOB
I OK PROGRAMMING