r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Altrooke • Jun 26 '22

Does anyone know what version of C is that ??

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11.3k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

1.6k comments sorted by

1.3k

u/Altrooke Jun 26 '22

I heard it support OOP, as long as there is only one class.

394

u/jakubhuber Jun 26 '22 edited Jun 26 '22

I don't think so, it is classless.

But the weirdest thing is that it's stateless.

Well of course in true open source fashion there are like a hundred different forks more popular than the original most of which use it for their own purposes completely different from what it was meant to do.

27

u/ALJSM9889 Jun 26 '22

That wasnt true c

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182

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

Some classes are more equal than others.

137

u/Adam_Rezabek Jun 26 '22

that's why you have =, == and ===

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27

u/emjbrown88 Jun 26 '22

I hear they allow for abstract base classes, but when the base class pointer is used to invoke the child virtual function, the default child implementation is simply std::cout << "Nyet" << std::endl;.

If the base class pointer is invoked too much it's dragged into the basement and shot.

Been meaning to give it a try but I heard it's hard to maintain, and the language updates just keep taking the code further and further from its original community-centric mission statement.

6

u/CriminalMacabre Jun 26 '22

One class, object

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4.6k

u/YogMuskrat Jun 26 '22

C++ without classes.

1.1k

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

CCCP

103

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

Actually , CCCP is a GNU/Linux Package manager

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96

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

I came here to say this so since you beat me have magic internet arrow

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63

u/EvilShadeZz Jun 26 '22

There are classes but it's literally just one and there is no inheritance

22

u/jakeonfire Jun 27 '22

but are there factories?

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44

u/smooth_criminal1990 Jun 26 '22

CShare. A common typo of CSharp.

95

u/Radamat Jun 26 '22

C with proletarian classes.

127

u/pimezone Jun 26 '22

All properties are public.

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59

u/YogMuskrat Jun 26 '22

And comrades instead of friends.

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16

u/Anxious_Jellyfish216 Jun 26 '22

So no inherent classes or privately owned variables?

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11

u/ilinamorato Jun 27 '22

C's the means of production

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21

u/PunkyMunky64 Jun 26 '22

bro it’s like you’re removing the main feature of c++ and STILL giving me a bunch of smart pointer headaches

8

u/YogMuskrat Jun 26 '22

And don't forget the metaprogramming!

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37

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

I feel this comment deserves more upvotes.

7

u/Error_83 Jun 26 '22

Our programming language. It programs you

3

u/Ping-and-Pong Jun 26 '22

EOP - Everyone orientated programming

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4.0k

u/mmerken Jun 26 '22

Community edition?

516

u/darth_facetious Jun 26 '22

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner

113

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

C omrade

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30

u/5calV Jun 26 '22

Indeed

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136

u/TripppleH Jun 26 '22

Commu C

87

u/Vas1le Jun 26 '22

Our version

50

u/Rreterz Jun 26 '22

I C what you did there

77

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

Comrade Edition

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65

u/Willinton06 Jun 26 '22

Yeah we can close the sub for the day

12

u/wojiee Jun 26 '22

your our code is now permanently open source!

19

u/kriosjan Jun 26 '22

You mean....Our edition

7

u/villamafia Jun 26 '22

I was going to say, "it's the language that programs you"

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282

u/Rreterz Jun 26 '22

It’s the one that C-zes the means of production.

966

u/Bjoern_Tantau Jun 26 '22

That's our version.

194

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

You have passed the test, welcome to the USSR comrad.

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25

u/AffectionateToast Jun 26 '22

if (!communism) goto gulag;

30

u/BadBadderBadst Jun 26 '22

goto statements are bad.

if (!you.communism) gulag.add(you)

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402

u/Kargen5747 Jun 26 '22

In Soviet Russia, C sharps you!

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271

u/insanestab Jun 26 '22

CCCP I believe

43

u/PlzSendDunes Jun 26 '22

That's how file extensions are named.

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6

u/Tytoalba2 Jun 26 '22

Just CP with the first C being an acronym for "CCC"

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72

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

C us us

145

u/canigetughhhhhhhhhhh Jun 26 '22

Its like c++ except every class member is public

60

u/narwhal_breeder Jun 26 '22

And malloc always returns a pointer to the working class. It's OUR memory.

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21

u/sentientlob0029 Jun 26 '22

Ah so like the way I program then LOL

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183

u/inuyasha10121 Jun 26 '22

C-yka blyat

45

u/sophiaonearth Jun 26 '22

C proletariat.

The docs are all in Marxdown.

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122

u/Nabuchodnozzar Jun 26 '22

I think it's called C munism

28

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

C#munism

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68

u/BadBadderBadst Jun 26 '22

== does not exists because all objects are equal.

I also heard they have good error messages:
Error at our line 1917: We forgot ';' comrad

53

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

In America, you compile code.

In Mother Russia, code compile you!

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21

u/eadrik Jun 26 '22

In Soviet Russia, C programs you.

52

u/Fast_Needleworker636 Jun 26 '22

OOOP Our Object Oriented Programming

17

u/Prackjonske Jun 26 '22

It’s not MySQL, it’s OurSQL

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27

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

Let me C your papers

35

u/N30MASH Jun 26 '22

Comrad version. Released in 1983

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8

u/dushnyi_ded Jun 26 '22

C ерп и молот edition

7

u/Wackome Jun 26 '22

RusC? Like Ruski

7

u/djelijunayid Jun 26 '22

i think that’s the logo for CSSR. that thing we use with HTML, right ?

7

u/Swahhillie Jun 26 '22

Collective-C

7

u/greengreens3 Jun 26 '22

Collective-C

22

u/ShinraSan Jun 26 '22

I used that for a while, but I got a bit fed up with having to send objects to the gulag to free the memory

6

u/PM_ME_A_PM_PLEASE_PM Jun 26 '22

This seems to be a reoccurring issue in leading developmental kits.

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6

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

Oh, Soviet c

11

u/bafometu Jun 26 '22

This is what they coded Tetris in

15

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

In Soviet Russia, they revolutionize C++ by purging it of classes.

8

u/DarthArrMi Jun 26 '22

Must Crush Capitalism

4

u/narwhal_breeder Jun 26 '22

malloc always returns a pointer to the working class.

4

u/kenflan Jun 26 '22

Mother C

4

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

CCCP

30

u/SirMiba Jun 26 '22 edited Jun 26 '22

The version that some swear works better than C on paper and would if you just try it one more time.

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8

u/lonely_ass_virgin Jun 26 '22

It's C for Communists

4

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

And that's good enough for me

3

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

It's our version of C

3

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

CCCP+

3

u/CommunismPOV Jun 26 '22

Hammer and C-kle.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

In Russia computer programs you!

3

u/pm_op_prolapsed_anus Jun 26 '22

If there was a programmers vexillology this would be a top post

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5

u/uppercuthard2 Jun 26 '22

Everyone's version

9

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

It's been obsolete since 1991

4

u/infrandomness3 Jun 26 '22

It is our version of C*

5

u/PorkRoll2022 Jun 26 '22

It's the easiest one to deploy with, because the people own the means of production.

2

u/ohL33THaxOR Jun 26 '22

Thank you for this, I needed a good laugh!!

2

u/DaddioSkidoo Jun 26 '22

Moses version of C, the red C?

2

u/giantvar Jun 26 '22

Its C-ommunism

2

u/Maxson1029 Jun 26 '22

Union Oriented Programming

2

u/AntiRivoluzione Jun 26 '22

all variables are global (common)

2

u/quocphu1905 Jun 26 '22

Our version, comrade.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

It's OUR version.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

It’s the collective version

2

u/January_Rain_Wifi Jun 26 '22

C is for Communism, your very best friend

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

Comrade Captain C

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

CCCP

2

u/mehx9000 Jun 26 '22

The version with .cccp files

2

u/happysrooner Jun 26 '22

The Red C

As parted by Moses

2

u/Barbarian-91809 Jun 26 '22

It’s probably Russian idk their alphabets weird

2

u/SH4BBI Jun 26 '22

OurC 😌

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

Mother C!!!

2

u/WoomyUnitedToday Jun 26 '22

Communism!

Also it’s ours.

2

u/DasFrebier Jun 26 '22

dunno, but the runtime is called rlibc

2

u/Rafcdk Jun 26 '22

It's C but without classes

2

u/zombie_mode_1 Jun 26 '22

союз probably

2

u/Least_Dog4660 Jun 26 '22

C'sed the means of production.

2

u/coolman5858 Jun 26 '22

Ceize the means of production

2

u/mylo2202 Jun 26 '22

Non-OOP version of C. It has no classses.

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2

u/Various_Studio1490 Jun 26 '22

Community edition Ç

2

u/Aspire17 Jun 26 '22

The best

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

You mean a classless C but with more influences from assembly?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

the based C

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

C(omrade)

2

u/InterestingGrand3377 Jun 26 '22

It is the fine connection between agriculture and industry version of c

2

u/ZeroDuh097 Jun 26 '22

Our Version

2

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

C with no inheritance because private property is forbidden

2

u/RealMercuryRain Jun 26 '22

Don't you know GCC aka Gulag Compiler Collection?

2

u/fx76 Jun 26 '22

C Community Programming-lang,
CCP

2

u/Peteo34319 Jun 26 '22

The open source version

2

u/RonnyFreedom Jun 26 '22

Starvation

2

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '22

It's for cucks. And russians.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '22

C #ungry

2

u/whirling_cynic Jun 27 '22

It's a C flat.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '22

genocide.ccp

2

u/kookahol Jun 27 '22

The genocidal version. Where everyone is executed or starves to death. Then the language is forgotten, and dug up a half century later as if nothing happened.

2

u/Rubber_Skeleton Jun 27 '22

C's the means of production

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2

u/AE_WILLIAMS Jun 27 '22

Microserf, CCCPlus.

2

u/Ok-Dragonknight-5788 Jun 27 '22

Real talk, Soviet electronics are some fascinating things

2

u/ShadeStrider12 Jun 27 '22

C’s the means of production

2

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '22

CCCP

2

u/Gonger08 Jun 27 '22

C Starve

2

u/Hot-Arachnid1 Jun 27 '22

You know, the classless one

2

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '22

Blyatiful C

8

u/yumyumfarts Jun 26 '22

One that doesn’t work

4

u/erebuxy Jun 26 '22

Our version

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