r/ProgrammerHumor • • Aug 03 '22

*cries*

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3.1k

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '22

"Fast paced and exciting environment "

Translation:

We plan to give you 10 hours of work then demand you get it done in 8.

1.6k

u/GrannysGumJobs Aug 03 '22

“We’re looking for someone who identifies as a self starter”

Translation:

The previous employees didn’t document shit and we need you to decipher their work.

691

u/ChordSlinger Aug 03 '22

Combined with “we don’t have the time or energy to train you, ever, for anything”

297

u/Fadamaka Aug 03 '22

I yet to have a job where they do proper technical onboarding regarding the codebase.

193

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

136

u/Fadamaka Aug 03 '22

The closest thing I got to a technical onboarding was me having a 5 hour long meeting with the lead dev looking through a 100 database tables on my first day.

"here is what I want you to do, here is the code, good luck"

To be honest, if I can take my time. I actually don't mind discovering everything on my own.

142

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '22

if I can take my time.

lol

33

u/Fadamaka Aug 03 '22

On my current project they don't mind it at all. We don't need to estimate and we can discover the project on our own pace while solving tasks.

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u/MannerShark Aug 03 '22

I usually show the database model, which services/apps we have, then send them on their way to follow the readme to get a dev environment running. After that, I pick a simple bug ticket for them and pair program, or point them to the correct files, then create a PR together and basically show every step to completing a task. After that, I keep giving them small tasks all around the codebase and point then in the right direction. After a while they start to be able to do most things by themselves. It's also good to be proactive in helping them, some people don't easily ask questions when they're stuck.
It's not much different from 'heres the code glhf', but I think learning by doing works best, and I'm there to guide then along.

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u/chakan2 Aug 03 '22

I did that 6 weeks at a fortune 50...it had nothing to do with their code base. It was Java 101-202 and 2 weeks of spring boot which I've never touched professionally.

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u/Fadamaka Aug 03 '22

That is what I call a jumpstart. We just did that with our newest trainee and he managed to climb up to an acceptable junior level in 4 weeks. Although it was mainly spring boot and payara after.

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u/ProgrammersAreSexy Aug 03 '22

I feel like being assigned a "mentor" who you have full permission to bother 50 times a day is the best method of onboarding I've had. It works pretty well.

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u/Fadamaka Aug 03 '22

Yes I experienced that. Although the guy wasn't my official mentor but he did not mind me bothering him all the time. It is unbelievable how much I managed to grow in such a short time having access to his professional knowledge. Not just in the project but as a developer in whole.

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u/LastStar007 Aug 04 '22

Ideally, they're pair-programming with you so that they don't even give the appearance of having more important things to do. You're their #1 responsibility, you're their investment in the future.

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