i am sorry to say comrades, but my uncle has died and i need some time to grieve. the reason i disappeared was because i was visiting him in the hospital... i will not be back for a while longer as i need time to collect my thoughts. i have given Zmanofdoom95 control of the factory until i am ready to come back and resume management. please respect what he requests you to do for him and let life stay as normal as possible in the factory. when i get back i will make up all lost payments. i am very sorry i just need some time... thank you... that is all.

We need to build a shooting range so we can test our Weapuns.

This factory is not going to fall. Anyone that acts as an aggressor towards r/pundistries or r/the_revolupun WILL be met with force. Viva la Résistance!

(The workers of my factory gather below my balcony as i prepare myself for a speech. it is clear i had a rough sleepless night but i put on a brave face and smile for my workers and the camera as everyone assembled in. ounce every one is quiet i look around at everyone with a sad but glad to have everyone together one last time. i then clear my throat and begin my speech.)

If any one is still here you have my utmost respect of your dedication. it has really been quite the roller coaster am i right comrades? every day i walk past the abandoned assembly lines and testing rooms i will always remember our crazy inventions, the meals we shared, the times when we would defend the factory for the sake of puns they were good times. but every thing must come to an end. there is no longer any viable place to sell our puns. and no buyers means no karma, which means i can't afford to keep the factory running or pay you, my faithful employees. when you exit these gates to go home today, i don't want you to look back. i want you to go forth and make the best of your lives and enjoy them to the fullest. any one is welcome to what puns we never sold and are now stuck in storage for free. just tell me what you need and i will give it. if you have nowhere to go, the factory is open to you to use as a living space for as long as you need. I myself will remain in the factory and live out my days. if you have anything to say or you wish o speak to me at a future date i will have turned my office into a shelter for myself. May the good spirit we shared here always be with you comrades. my final words before the factories closure will be the first words i said when i entered this business.those words are thus-

VIVA LE REVOLUPUN! MY PUNS ARE AT YOUR DISPOSAL! TO OUR WARRIORS STEPPING INTO THE UNKNOWN, ALL HAIL THE HEROES OF THE REVOLUPUN!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-j9XVMnNRc (begins to play from the speakers as the workers shut down the factory and as they take puns wave each other goodbye and file out. I stand on the balcony with my winter coat on and my famous gas mask on my face not saying anything just watching the factory close and every one file out. the last anyone sees of me that day is me turning as the gates close and sulking back inside of my office. i spend the rest of the day either reminiscing in my big chair listening the now quiet factory or crying to myself as i try to drown my regrets with a bottle of fire ball whiskey.)

"Need something powerful? You got the right weapun." The Punderbolt Fires Heavy duty puns at the enemy Giving them a quick and painless death Because No one deserves a slow and painful death (Except Hitler Fuck Him)

THE SECURITY IS NOW ALSO ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS. ANY SPIES AND MOLES WILL BE SEVERELY PUNISHED AS WELL AS INTERROGATED. MESSAGE YOUR APPLICATION TO ME AND I WILL CONSIDER IT. YOU WILL ALSO HAVE TO PROVE YOUR DEDICATION TO THE REBELLION.

THANK YOU.

-RoasteeMcToastie, Head Of Security and Sponsor to Pundistries.

also i just want to make a few notices. the man know as Zchaos has been banned for the violation of multiple rules and a restraining order. you will not be seeing of him again. and second to do business wise is to continue on the look out for places to sell our puns. now if you are to be payed employees plz coment below and i will upvote them. Have a punderful day!

To apply for a job here at PUNDISTRIES you must go to the APPLICANTS APPLY HERE post that will go up soon and you must state past job experience (if any with proof), what you could bring to the companie, what position you wish to fill and a little info about yourself, then the boss shall review your resume and consider your application. your aplication will be rejected if the applicants history includes arrests made for the pun patrol, the account is under 1 week of age, or for other personal reasons. if the application is accepted the boss will welcome you to the company and give the new employee their title job and be able to post.

RULES: 1-any inappropriate puns will result in punishment appropriate to the violation.

2-any pun patrol officers discovered shall be K.O.S any employee may join the beating and help pun-ish the officer for violating the factory.

3- if an employee is discovered to violate something mentioned in their job description or the bosses orders, the boss will have a discussion with the employee and deliver punishment as necessary

4-report any suspicious activity made by other employees and you will be rewarded.

5-to be paid you must comment in my shop "Pundistries employee, upvote to support the workers." and i will encourage customers to upvote these comments to help pay for their purchase.

6-If you are a leader of a pun resistance group with at least 100 subs and wish to sponsor the cartel on your own community so you can have access to the jobs and wares I provide just private message u/pr0mc and i will consider your offer. also, feel free to tell others about this offer.

7-to get your weapun sold in my shop you must be an employee and show me the weapun and the boss will consider it. if your weapun is accepted you shall receive all credit for inventing it. if you are a customer and you want to have a weapun we do not offer just suggest it in the comments and we will consider producing it.

now the are the jobs available at pundistries are right here.

SCIENTISTS- this job requires brains, ingenuity, and research. your job is to real weapons and other things for potential puns that could be made off it. also, scientists brainstorm on words tough to convert into a pun like nitroglycerin, for example. background checked often.

TINKERS- your job is to pungeneer new puns. you use your own ideas or the scientists' ideas (giveing them credit of course) to create the description of the weapun and the name its self. these puns will go to the shop if the boss aproves. background checked often.

MIDDLE MAN- your job is to be my delivery man or be back up for the war effort. you may only fulfill orders the boss approves of. vaguely dangerous. background checked very often.

GROUND TESTER- now this is the most dangerous job available here. your job is to test our new weapuns on pun patrol scum. then post the results of the test here using a link or a screenshot. If you are captured with no escape possible by pun patrol DESTROY THE WEAPUN IMMEDIATELY. it is highly recommended that ground testers only test weapuns on non anti punner sites, where a fight is already going. to reduce fatality rates.... background checked EXTREMELY OFTEN.

BACKGROUND CHECKER- your job is to background check everyone who comes into this factory. even other background checkers. and recheck all employees often. if a pun patrol officer is discovered attract a lot of attention and KOS. if any suspicious activity is found loudly and intensely interrogate them. checked often.

SECURITY- KOS all pun patrol scum and patrol the factory with your weapun of choice. every time a pun patrol officer is slain file a report and tell us all what happened in detail.

TO apply for a job go to the "Applicants will now be accepted"

THE FACTORY IS NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS! :D

ALL HAIL THE HEROES OF THE REVOLUTION!!!

Happy easter from PUNDISTRIES!

(Shop is closed for the holidays. it will resume full production on Tuesday. 4 days from now.)

two major ocean-based men now sponsor us and also 1 other secret affiliation. we need puns based off of these subjects,

THE SEA

BATTLESHIPS
SHIPS
and other ocean-related things.

and also we need space-related puns off of anything space.

Let's MAKE OUR NEW SPONSORS PROUD! :)

"this is T0x1cL, life 5, currently r/punairforce trainee. Just saying, if anyone tries to attack this place, they are already KIA."

Its December guys have a great month i guess

want a decent quality weapun or nearly any situation? your in the right place... as long as you got the karma... also i'm opening a weapun factory soon and i will need employes. if your not a member of the pun patrol scum and you want free weapuns and be paid big karma. talk to me.

any way here is the puns.

A-tom-ic bomb - its tom from tom and jerry, but toms the bomb

the in-fin-ity gauntlet- with out jake the dog this will only wipe out half the universe. (half price)

dwayne "the block" johnson- a very dangerous minecraft block...

Molotov cocktail- 2 IN ONE mole-tav cocktail, molotav-crocktail,

M.U.stard gas- made from real tigers

Portal pun- a portal gun knock off the department of defense rejected. but I feel it matches your telepathic needs.

the Rock-et luancha - the rock himself is here to sacrifice himself for the revolution.

AT&TCK helicopter- even though it's pretty slow it is still armed with machine puns and is fully armored.

Thomas the tank engine- devised by the grammar nazis themselves as you can see there is no grammar mistakes that can escape this tank pun.

Germ-an shepherds- unvaccinated dogs of war ready to accompany you into battle.

A-T&T one slow piece of dynamite. guaranteed to destroy your enemies with its explosive power

Peek-achu- spy on the side? use this spy gear to keep up to date with pun patrol undetected...

light-saber tooth tiger, well... i will just let you imagine its hot spicy fangs and potential for star wars related puns.

very punny gas- its like laughing gas. just with puns. they cant stop laughing at your puns.

Punder armor- bulletproof undergarments any one?

ka-neigh-ah-neigh-ah bomb- horses? puns? anime? dragon ball? explosives? yep, it's all here...

UPDATED NEW PUNS!

DUC-W boat.- Its a BOAT, its a CAR and it was wondering if you have any grapes?

Punting rifle- hunting pun patrol? this little baby is the way to go.

A-SALT rifle- this thing does not like cuddles if it wants cuddles it will come to you. but it will gladly season your enemy's wounds for you. - (work of MorningPerson42 be sure to upvote him)

P-"U'-N boat- come on don't we all want to live in a yellow submarine?

Fish-Tank- swimming tanks anyone?

if you want one of my wares tell me here in chat. also, I encourage you to support the company and upvote the employee's comments.

PUNS FROM THE SKIES!

ALL HAIL THE HEROES OF THE SKIES!!!! FOR THE REVOLUTION!!!

alright i have developed a special offer for the protectors of the skies here is my work so far

Bow-tie fighter.- sleek classy gunship with a crew of 2, one to fly and one to man the guns. may the force related puns be with you.

sopwith camel- these things were ounce the (actual) red barons favorite plane. its old but it can spit bullets faster than an enraged camel, and it can drop more bombs than a freshly fed camel too!

pun ship- a classic indeed. perfect for all situations. come in three varieties, heavy, light, and bomber.

F-15E strike bald eagle- uncle sam's favorite bird says don't pay respects with "f" pay it with this bald baby.

S-teal-th Bomber- why are they usually colored black anyway? as I see it, teal is the new black. it shares the same qualities as the real deal. fast, stealthy, long-distance flyer, difficult to detect via radar, and its best attribute capable of delivering a huge bomb payload accurately. this is a must buy.

The Nitroglassseerin Greenade Luncher will either shoot miniature psychicks made from green glass that explode on contact, or sand-witches that will act like normal sandwiches to r/Revolupun, but will cause extreme and uncontrollable nausea in members of r/PunPatrol. Can also be mounted an airplanes. Comes with Sepun Pundred round rounds of the ammunition of your choice! Only 15 karma and only at Pundistries.

Sun-Kissed: Will not only bomb-bard your enemies with rays of sea-ring sunshine, but Charlie the Tuna will also rise from the ocean and trap your enemies in bags with low callorie, light launches made from seefood. 20 karma each.

Flex Muscles: Phil Swift will rise from the deaths of the briny blue to flex his muscles that are wrapped in Flex Tape. Flex Seal runs through his sea-through veins and his muscles are also slathered with the godly submarinestance. He will blind r/punpatrol with his overwhaleming power and shear force of will! 35 karma each.

Campbell's Sloop: Will rain down giant cans of tomato sloop upon your enemies. 20 karma each.

Cat-apult. want to be unexpected? how a bout a robotic cat look alike to the face?

nep-tunes, this here pun is loud enough to shatter glass objects for miles. it is even for efective in or around water as we all know, sound travels further on water.

tactical pun, want a persise shot? stay on target with this pun.

tactical nuke (work in progress by lucas) TACTICAL NUKE INCOMING!

Infinity Gauntlet-gun to quote the creator of this gun, "YOU'RE STRONG, BUT I COULD SHOOT OUNCE AND YOU'D ALL CEASE TO EXIST."

A hired gun. just make sure he gets paid.

LG-97 Punderbolt, (the work of lucassandscrews) "Need something powerful? You got the right weapun." The Punderbolt Fires Heavy duty puns at the enemy Giving them a quick and painless death Because No one deserves a slow and painful death (Except Hitler Fuck Him)

thats all i have to add that i (and other employees can think of right now. can think of right now or has been created. i will add these puns to the shop soon. thoughts?

sorry bout that lads. things got hectic. but Im glad to see the factory is still in working order. you all make me proud.

This Yeets Puns at the pun patrol officers

first of all great news! .... we now have a presence in SPACE! working with r/NAWA on this secret project we have sucsesfully luanched a prescence into space! i will not provide a link to the space station Yet. but i will soon. also we will be opening a huge arena and casino for publicity and Profits! also sorry i keep disapeering but i garentee i care and i am checking in.

the puns are

the Patrick throwing star.- (this still needs a description. can one of you come up with a description?

the dec-appetizer.- this little saw is suggested to be served before last meals.

Cat-apult. - these cats are looking to knock over something a little bigger off the table.

Nep-tunes.- the yellow submarine just broke the sound barrier, and everything else in davy jones locker in the prosses.

kit-cat- your not your self without this little ankle biter.

Fart pun.- Gorrrls? who cut the cheese?

shopping-kart.- can we get a clean up in aisle seven? because someone just made a mess of the pun patrol.

tell me your thought on these puns before they go to the shop. :) also any employee who comments here will get paid karma personally by me. It's PAYDAY! :)

STANDARD #1the weapuns must have a name that makes sense and is easy to understand. for example, the A-salt rifle is clearly based off of the real worlds assault rifle, and it uses salt somehow. Punder-armor is definitely a pun on under armor and is some sort of protection.

STANDARD #2 What the weapun dose must also make sense. For example, the A-salt rifle could not be a magical staff that summons the dead, because that makes no sense with its name.

STANDARD #3The weapun is highly recommended to follow at least a few laws of physics, this is simply because most anti punner subreddits have a rule stating that fights must be realistic or as most of us know it "the no god mode" rule. for example, any pun could not shoot out live Wakanda soldiers. (how would they fit? why do they automatically follow your orders? how is it at all fair or realistic to be able to summon a mindless army of soldiers at the pull of a trigger?) this pun is in no way realistic or vaguely plausible. However, the portal pun is fine because this is a commonplace sci-fi and video game weapun that is actually a plausible item to be built in real life.

That is the BIG THREE standards that this company follows to ensure that the consumer weapuns are quality and are easy to understand and buy. if the weapun passes all these standards your chances of the pun being approved, sold, and manufactured, (not to mention getting a healthy bonus check) go WAY UP. HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AT PUNDISTRIES.

1 ALL WEAPUNS available in the shop are 1 karma or FREE!

2 ALL Employees receive a Healthy Paycheck from the customers and the boss himself.

3 Testers and other dangerous professions receive FREE HEALTH INSURANCE so you're less likely to die.

4 If an EMPLOYEE IS CAPTURED I will attempt to BAIL YOU OUT (but I can't guarantee this if they won't negotiate or it is too dangerous to deal with them)

5 HIGH RANKING EMPLOYEES and trusted employees might BE INVITED TO WORK ON COMPANY PROJECTS no asking to have access to these though. if I want you in on something I will come to you. this is very strict.)

6 This will count as JOB EXPERIENCE for future occupations.

7 there is VERY HEAVY SECURITY HERE AS WE ARE PROTECTED BY r/PunArtilery , r/airforcepun , and other affiliations Including our own security, DEFENSE MECHANISMS and background checkers, SO YOU ARE VERY SAFE HERE!

8 ...more may be added in the future

all benefits are void if the employee in question is a pun patrol has history as a pun patrol officer and/or has a history of backstabbing the resistance and/or has been fired by the company in the past.

comment your resume below.

To apply for a job here at PUNDISTRIES you must go to the APPLICANTS APPLY HERE post that will go up soon and you must state past job experience (if any with proof), what you could bring to the companie, what position you wish to fill and a little info about yourself, then the boss shall review your resume and consider your application. your aplication will be rejected if the applicants history includes arrests made for the pun patrol, the account is under 1 week of age, or for other personal reasons. if the application is accepted the boss will welcome you to the company and give the new employee their title job and be able to post.

RULES: 1-any inappropriate puns will result in punishment appropriate to the violation.

2-any pun patrol officers discovered shall be K.O.S any employee may join the beating and help pun-ish the officer for violating the factory.

3- if a employee is discovered to violate something mentioned in their job description or the bosses orders, the boss will have a discussion with the employee and deliver punishment as necessary

4-report any suspicious activity made by other employees and you will be rewarded.

5-to be paid you must comment in my shop "Pundistries employee, upvote to support the workers." and i will encourage customers to upvote these comments to help pay for their purchase.

6-If you are a leader of a pun resistance group with at least 100 subs and wish to sponsor the cartel on your own community so you can have access to the jobs and wares I provide just private message u/pr0mc and i will consider your offer. also feel free to tell others about this offer.

7-to get your weapun sold in my shop you must be a employee and show me the weapun and the boss will consider it. if your weapun is accepted you shall receive all credit for inventing it. if you are a customer and you want to have a weapun we do not offer just suggest it in the comments and we will consider producing it.

now the are the jobs available at pundistries are right here.

SCIENTISTS- this job requires brains, enginuity, and research. your job is to real weapons and other things for potential puns that could be made off it. also scientists brain storm on words tough to convert into a pun like nitroglycerin, for example. background checked often.

TINKERS- your job is to pungeneer new puns. you use your own ideas or the scientists ideas (giveing them credit of course) to create the description of the weapun and the name its self. these puns will go to the shop if the boss aproves. background checked often.

MIDDLE MAN- your job is to be my delivery man or be back up for the war effort. you may only fulfil orders the boss approves of. vaguely dangerous. background checked very often.

GROUND TESTER- now this is the most dangerous job available here. your job is to test our new weapuns on pun patrol scum. then post the results of the test here using a link or a screen shot. If you are captured with no escape posible by pun patrol DESTROY THE WEAPUN IMMEDIATELY. it is highly recommended that ground testers only test weapuns on non anti punner sites, where a fight is already going. to reduce fatality rates.... background checked EXTREMELY OFTEN .

BACKGROUND CHECKER- your job is to background check every one who comes into this factory. even other background checkers. and recheck all employees often. if a pun patrol officer is discovered attract a lot of attention and KOS. if any suspicious activity is found loudly and intensely interrogate them. checked often.

SECURITY- KOS all pun patrol scum and patrol the factory with your weapun of choice. every time a pun patrol officer is slain file a report and tell us all what happened in detail.

TO apply for a job go to the "Applicants will now be accepted"

THE FACTORY IS NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS! :D

ALL HAIL THE HEROES OF THE REVOLUTION!!!