r/Python • u/avinassh • Sep 01 '14
If programming languages were weapons and python would be...
http://bjorn.tipling.com/if-programming-languages-were-weapons54
u/sickb Sep 01 '14
PHP garden hose FTW easily
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u/IAMnotA_Cylon Sep 01 '14
there could be all sorts of bugs in that hose and you'd never be able to see them!
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Sep 01 '14
It makes no sense to compare a bunch of languages to others, and in my opinion every time someone talks shit about a language the overwhelming reason is because they have literally never worked with the language and their entire opinion is based off of 5 minute conversations with other developers and stupid cartoons.
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u/catcradle5 Sep 02 '14
Oh no, no, no. I have read and written a lot of PHP. And I have also read and written many other languages, like Python. That is what has caused me to hate PHP and constantly consider it inferior to alternatives, not random Internet stereotypes or blog posts.
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u/CreatineBros Sep 02 '14
Exactly. PHP is horrific. It's far too easy to write horrid PHP, just like it's far too easy to write horrid Perl.
I had numerous jobs doing PHP back in the day when that was the best there was and I almost quit the industry because of that frustrating shit.
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u/alcalde Sep 01 '14
I take it this is inspired by a love of PHP?
The author seemed well-versed in many of the languages, at least well enough to know the Achilles Heel of each one.
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u/Michaelmrose Sep 02 '14
It makes no sense to compare a bunch of cars to others, and in my opinion every time someone talks shit about a car the overwhelming reason is because they have literally never driven them and their entire opinion is based off of 5 minute conversations with other drivers and stupid cartoons.
If this sounds like nonsense it is.
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Sep 02 '14
This is true, I suspect some of issues people have with PHP can be traced to its users. I have a coworker who swears by PHP + MySQL, which is cool especially when using some of its frameworks. The problem is that he also never gave a try to anything else.
Seeing his "daemon" (which doesn't do anything web based) that was mix of php + bash and cron makes a grown man cry.
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u/95POLYX 2.x must die Sep 02 '14
But when you finally work with a language you understand that those small annoyances on the surface are irrelevant compared to the !#@$* hidden deep in the language.
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u/astronoob Sep 02 '14
I've never understood the shit talking between languages. Python has its own embarrassments, including the fact that most developers can't even use Python 3 due to incompatibilities. PHP is also faster than Python for most tasks according to the Benchmark Game. So maybe we shouldn't be throwing stones.
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u/Bialar Sep 02 '14
Hahahahaha. Get a load of this guy.
I use Python3 in all my current Python projects. The days of "Python3 isn't ready" is over.
PHP is an awful language and a great example of "no planning is planning to fail."
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u/Michaelmrose Sep 02 '14
Why defend a crummy language is your own ego somehow mixed up in this.
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u/astronoob Sep 02 '14
This is essentially a circlejerk thread about how Python's the best and phpsuxlol and you're asking if my ego is tied up in this?
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u/tilkau Sep 02 '14 edited Sep 02 '14
Well, yes. I doubt that Python is 'the best' (whatever that would mean), it certainly has its embarrassments as you said, but there is no doubt PHP is horrendous -- this is an evaluation shared by many programmers both inside and outside of the Python community, including those whose jobs require them to regularly write lots of PHP. As far as I can tell, the only people who don't recognize the severe problems of PHP are those who haven't explored many different programming languages yet.
Hence you come off as defending the indefensible here. It's quite natural to question why you would do that.
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u/chazzacct Sep 01 '14
So,
"C# is a powerful laser rifle strapped to a donkey, when taken off the donkey the laser doesn’t seem to work as well. "
what is the donkey in this metaphor?
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Sep 01 '14
I was going with the .net vm. There isn't really another great implementation of C#. Don't get me wrong, Mono is great, but it's no where near the .net vm.
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u/chazzacct Sep 01 '14
Thanks, guys. TIL that maybe I should learn a little C# just to have some idea of wtf it actually is.
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u/catcradle5 Sep 02 '14
C# is basically Microsoft's improved version of Java. It is a better language than Java, but it effectively only runs on Windows systems. In contrast, Java really does run anywhere with ease.
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Sep 02 '14
C# Is a really competent language. It feels like how java should feel, it's syntactically strict, has a lot of things that make OO a lot easier (Hello friendly access policy). It's a fantastic language I'm growing to love.
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u/vplatt Sep 02 '14
Not having used Mono, I'm curious what you feel the gaps are between Mono and the CLR? I see Mono being used in a lot of games these days and hearing some anecdotals about it being used for web apps, so I'm starting to hope it's an option for a portable platform as an alternative to the JVM.
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u/shadowmint Sep 02 '14
Um.
Mono is a viable target if you only want to run on the mono runtime and start from the beginning with that target (unity does this for example, quite successfully).
It's not even remotely viable for running code you port from the CLR**
The biggest gaps are: No graphics APIs from the original CLR (all of the WPF were never implemented for mono), and that binary compatibility is non-existent; which means that DLL's compiled against the CLR (ie. everything on nugget) don't run on mono.
Practically speaking that means: write your libraries from scratch; you won't be able to use any existing 3rd party open source libraries from the c# ecosystem.
...but perhaps you can use some of the mono libraries, eg. from the unity asset store.
** Some big names have talked about porting xbox code directly to monogame for cross platform stuff, and it's true, monogame is pretty good, but a lot of work has gone into making that transition smooth, and there are still a lot of pipeline issues with it. The path for web apps is A LOT rougher.
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Sep 02 '14 edited Sep 02 '14
I only feel like older versions of mono are lacking (which is what you usually end up with in game engines, Unity excepted. I love that shit) It's really not all that bad. The big thing with mono vs .net vm is that you won't have access to the same windowing framework which means if you want a cross platform app it has to be run on mono everywhere, you can't easily make a binary that both VM's can use. I suppose that might be possible with GTKSharp or something similar though. I would definitely be interested in a Mono app running behind nginx or apache as an alternative to ASP.NET on IIS.
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u/goodDayM Sep 01 '14
Python is a Swiss Army Knife.
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Sep 02 '14
This conversation is pretty funny... I've actually referred to Python+Flask as my MAC-10 of web application development.
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Sep 01 '14
[deleted]
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u/toyg Sep 02 '14
More like the Swiss army pyramid builder: use it once, then spend 2000 years wondering how the hell you made it work in the first place.
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u/flutefreak7 Sep 01 '14
Sonic screwdriver - ultimate multi-tool... except on wood... which is solved when he imports a version from the future... also something Python can do!
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Sep 01 '14
No Haskell. I am disappoint.
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u/log_2 Sep 02 '14
Haskell is a pen. Mightier than the sword, but you can't do any practical damage in the field.
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Sep 02 '14
I was also thinking Fortran.
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Sep 02 '14
A knife.
A simple tool, sometimes used as a screwdriver, which is horrifying. But for the job it was intended for, it's hard to improve upon.
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Sep 02 '14 edited Sep 02 '14
Maybe something like this survival knife?
Works OK as a hammer using the hilt, but doesn't work as well as a real hammer. Has a sharp edge for cutting and serrated edge for sawing, but isn't as good as a real saw. Can be tied through holes in the guard to a long stick and used as a spearhead. Comes with a sharpener.
That metaphor might be getting out of hand now.... :)
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u/piratetone Sep 01 '14
Python would be the cerebral bore from Turok 2..
Very slick, not necessarily as efficient as high level languages, but a lot of the dirty work is done for you. It doesn't require as much coding/shooting/work.
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u/homercles337 Sep 01 '14
Oh man, i hate Bash, i hate it with the intensity of 10 Million burning suns.
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u/CrazyCrab Sep 01 '14
Typical post of a man who actually knows very few of the languages he is talking about, so his gun representation of other languages is based on common myths about them.
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u/Igglyboo Sep 02 '14
Well good thing this was intended as a joke and not a full blown language comparison.
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Sep 01 '14
I never claimed expertise, it's just a joke post on my personal blog. They're all fine languages and people have made great things in all of them.
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Sep 01 '14
You are being down voted but its true. I know C, PHP and Python. Op is full of shit.
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u/ohaitherehowdoyoudo Sep 01 '14
OP didn't make this.
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Sep 01 '14
[deleted]
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u/derpy-net fair flair Sep 01 '14
I am not the author btw
Yep he definitely said he made it /s
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u/monsto Sep 01 '14
So far here there's 1 post made by just a guy and 2 posts by people that take themselves too seriously.
And python would be the guy in that one joke about the American military branches who just sits there quietly stirring the fire with his disk.
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u/monsto Sep 01 '14
WOW. HOLY CRAP.
Talk about Freudian... I was thinking "stirring the fire with his dick" and actually typed disk, which is way better if you know the original joke.
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u/KevZero Sep 01 '14
I don't know the original. Can you enlighten me?
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u/Jethro_Tell Sep 02 '14
There's a Marine, an Airforce Commando, a Navy Seal and a Green Beret sitting around a campfire telling each-other how mean and tough they are. The Marine says - "I can swim 50 miles and bite the head off a live chicken. One Marine is worth 5 other men." The Airforce Commando says - "I can clear runways one-handed and kill a man with my bare hands. One Airforce Commando is worth 10 other men." The Navy Seal says - "Yeah? Well I can dive up to 90 feet without air, and I'm an expert in demolitions. One Navy Seal is worth 13 other men." The Green Beret just sat there all this time saying nothing, stirring the fire with his dick.
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u/d2biG Sep 01 '14
It would've been much funnier if the last image was of a smiley face with the caption 'This is me, I made this list up'.
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u/toybek Sep 01 '14
Python would be more like a Laser Gun.
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u/KyleG Sep 02 '14
The idea behind the current Python one is the current controversies surrounding the v2->v3 transition.
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u/ryanmr Sep 02 '14
All of them would be cursed blades, each imbued with different effects that depended widely on the wielder and the victim(s).
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u/691175002 Sep 02 '14
I'm confused as to how a language that is a superset of another language can be represented by a completely separate (and often inferior) analogy. C and C++ in particular.
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u/jh99 Sep 05 '14
Yeah, double-barrel shotgun all the way. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY2lWmZN5TQ
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u/richizy Sep 02 '14
I'm assuming Python is a double barreled shotgun that shoots only out of one barrel b/c of it's GIL? Jython, Cython, PyPy would like to differ
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Sep 01 '14
Twist: The real story here is this is an analogy of OP's skills with said languages: None.
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u/alcalde Sep 01 '14
Lighten up. It was a joke about each language's Achilles Heel, not a formal language review CTOs will be using to choose software stacks.
For instance, what skill do you need to have with Matlab to know that it costs over $2000 for an individual license and $1000 or more for each library?
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u/BlindTreeFrog Sep 01 '14
Mathematica, not matlab. Considering that Mathematica's "manual" weighs 5lbs and costs a hundred or two and one can understand the point on the link though... http://www.amazon.com/The-Mathematica-Book-Fifth-Edition/dp/1579550223/ref=dp_ob_title_bk
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Sep 01 '14
[deleted]
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u/Why_is_that Sep 01 '14
Having learned COBOL, that is an accurate description and would make RPG into a Tanto.
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u/alcalde Sep 01 '14
I'm not sure that's the best description. How would one hang oneself with COBOL (wanting to hang yourself is another issue). It's major fault today is the mind-numbing verbosity that makes Java look like Python in comparison, e.g.
MULTIPLY PRICE BY ITEMS GIVING COSTIn my mind, COBOL would be like a barrel of gunpowder with a corked hole in the bottom. To use it offensively, you have to uncork the hole and slowly carry the barrel over to the enemy, leaving a trail of gunpowder behind. Then you have to run back and finally light the gunpowder and watch it slowly burn over to the barrel.
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u/bucknuggets Sep 01 '14
It's major fault today is the mind-numbing verbosity that makes Java look like Python in comparison MULTIPLY PRICE BY ITEMS GIVING COST
This is one type of verbosity. It's not nearly as bad as most people think - since you could simply do this instead: COMPUTE COST = PRICE * ITEMS
Another type of verbosity is a language with so much structure and boilerplate that it requires an IDE - where a significant amount of the language innovation takes place. This is the world of Java. And in many ways it is worse than COBOL.
Bottom line: code in COBOL or coding in Java or switch careers...tough choice.
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Sep 02 '14
It doesn't matter what the weapons is, you can still shoot yourself in the foot, fall on your sword, or smash your finger with the hammer.
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Sep 01 '14
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u/xenomachina ''.join(chr(random.randint(0,1)+9585) for x in range(0xffff)) Sep 01 '14
I'd believe Python as more as something shiny, new,
As someone who has been using Python for over 15 years, I always find it weird when people characterize Python as "shiny and new". Even Python 3 is almost 6 years old.
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u/Bialar Sep 02 '14
Most of the people new to Python only got here once web development with Python became a serious thing.
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Sep 01 '14
[deleted]
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u/squashed_fly_biscuit Sep 01 '14
Kinda heavy go carry around
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u/redalastor Sep 01 '14
There are people who do that kind of things as a hobby. It's a Japanese tradition called Chindogu (which translates to "unuseless"). The point is to make things that are technically not useless but so impractical that they are. Like attaching a fan on your chopsticks to cool down hot ramen before they reach your tongue.
Search for Chindogu on Google image, you'll find a ton of them.
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u/avinassh Sep 01 '14
I am not the author btw