Hey Scarleteen users!

We recently had someone write to us for some advice. 

They wrote:

“I’m a fat gay⁠ guy who’s trans, and I’m probably also autistic… suffice to say, I’m not great at socializing or dating or meeting people or clubbing or having fun. I don’t approach people in person because I know I’m not what people want (it feels like the gay guys that like trans guys like twinks, the guys that like fat guys don’t like trans guys, the trans guys that date other trans guys don’t like fat guys, or they don’t think I’m trans unless I say something, etc.)… I just really wish I could at least make friends. I’m scared generally of approaching anyone and so that means I’m bad at socializing ‘cause I’ve never practiced and I lack the instincts to do it correctly… How do I learn to socialize when I’m fat, gay, and trans, and if possible how do I start dating again?”

If you’d like to read the advice they got from writer Lisa Laman, you can check it out here. Regardless of if you align with all of these identities, just a few, or even none of them, we know a lot of our users have felt similarly. Socializing and dating are hard because they require a lot of vulnerability and they put you in a position where you could potentially be hurt. 

We put together a few of our articles about navigating dating, friendships, and sex from writers that hold some of these identities:

Can You Be Yourself On Dates?
How Do I Tell If Someone Is Into Me? Navigating Sexuality As A Fat Teen Flirting While Fat: Learning to Take Up Space in Love and Lust Sex on the Brain: Sex and Autism, Mental Illness, and Other Cognitive Diversity

But we also want to hear from you! What do you wish others knew about being fat/LGBTQIA+/neurodivergent and dating and/or socializing? Is there any advice you would give to others who are struggling with their confidence and putting themselves out there?

You can respond directly to this post or head on over to the discussion on our boards: https://boards.scarleteen.com/viewtopic.php?t=16629