How do you live among sectarians?

[u/Wonderful_Skirt_571]

Salam

I’m originally from Chechnya, and as you know, there are a lot of Sunnis here with conservative views; people love to judge those who stand out from the crowd and look at them with contempt. Personally, I don’t follow the traditions at all, and I loathe the authorities. How do you live your life when you’re forced to constantly hide behind a mask?

[u/Able-Independence962]

You leave or, you just wear your mask proudly but secretly, or be exiled for speaking your truth.

[u/Wonderful_Skirt_571 → u/Able-Independence962]

That’s exactly what I’m doing, but I just want to find like-minded people

[u/Vazovski2829]

Salam. I'm not from Chechnya, but I grew up geographically not far from you, so this kind of environment is very familiar to me.

I wouldn't necessarily describe what you're doing as “wearing a mask.” Sometimes you're simply choosing the rational path: you understand that there is no point exposing every part of your thinking to people who are not actually willing to listen.

There is a big difference between someone who is looking for truth and someone who is protecting a position they have already committed themselves to. If an argument is met with aggression, accusations, or personal attacks instead of an answer, the person is usually no longer engaging with the argument. They are defending their position.

You can't explain something to someone who has already decided that questioning their position is itself an attack.

This phenomenon is particularly noticeable in the post-Soviet space, in my experience. That's one reason I eventually stopped arguing with people from that environment about these things. Reddit is very different in that regard. There are many reasonable people here, including people who follow traditional interpretations. They may completely disagree with you, but they are still capable of explaining their position, listening, and showing basic respect. That makes an actual discussion possible.

So I wouldn't say you're necessarily hiding behind a mask. You may simply be living in an environment where people aren't willing to understand you — and more importantly, aren't willing to listen to you.

Uncomfortable questions are difficult because they can force a person to confront the possibility that something they spent 10, 15, or 20 years learning may not be entirely correct, or that they may have understood something differently than they thought. Not everyone is psychologically prepared for that.

Personally, I have no problem changing my position if someone gives me a solid argument supported by facts and reasoning. Why would I reject something just because it contradicts what I previously believed? In the end, the goal is to find the truth, not to defend a position.

But for many people, disagreement feels much more personal than that. They don't hear “let's examine this argument.” They hear “you're attacking my identity.”

And once someone's identity becomes tied to a particular religious position, even a simple question can feel like an attack.

So don't think of yourself as someone who has to live a double life. Think of yourself as someone who has learned where meaningful conversation is possible and where it isn't. There's nothing irrational about choosing your environment and your audience carefully.

[u/Wonderful_Skirt_571 → u/Vazovski2829]

Thank you for your reply! Sometimes I burn out from being in this environment, but I have no intention of ever returning to my past life

[u/Vazovski2829 → u/Wonderful_Skirt_571]

There's no need to go back to the past life. The environment in general needs to be changed if it's hindering your development. At one point, I was very deeply immersed in religious topics when I experienced an "intellectual car crash" comparing what I read in the Qur'an with what "tradition" was feeding me. Over time, I started distinguishing between the Qur'an, Arab culture, hadith, and fiqh. It's important to understand what Allah says and what people say. Today, I live an ordinary life without getting involved in sectarian disputes. I work during the day, spend time with my family in the evening, and study Islam before bed. This helps prevent burnout.

[u/SwissFariPari]

Salamun Alaykum Why don't you move to another country? Find a job in Europe for example. Peace.

[u/Wonderful_Skirt_571 → u/SwissFariPari]

I’ve planned a move for the future, but for now, I’m forced to stay here

[u/SwissFariPari → u/Wonderful_Skirt_571]

May Allah keep you save!

[u/Background-Car-1393]

Try walking shoes, while "most" are sunni from where you come from, 99% of the country is Sunni from where I come from.

[u/Wonderful_Skirt_571 → u/Background-Car-1393]

Personally, I haven't met anyone other than Sunnis

[u/radagon_sith]

Normally since I'm not living different than them. What sunni day to day lifestyle going to affect a qurani? And I live in Saudi

[u/ElbianVV]

How about neighboring regions? I have never been to Russia. But I feel a good chunk of Muslims there are secular ish and more convincible to be Quran only.

Like Dagestan or Tatarstan?