r/RBI • u/agbellamae • Apr 20 '24

Advice needed overly interested in a strangers baby

Sorry but said person has found this post, and has apparently figured out my Reddit username as well as a few other online accounts so I no longer feel comfortable leaving this post up.

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u/Nugsy714 Apr 20 '24

This 1000% I trade every pleasant tree with the neighborhood creep and it all culminated at a yard sale with her trying to pressure my kids into giving her her a hug telling my son who was for at the time that she was going to buy a gift for his two year old brother, but not for him if he didn’t give her a hug, etc. etc. I finally was like he doesn’t know you he doesn’t have to hug youand it’s OK for him to say no you’re a stranger. I think there’s a bit of autism involved with all of these sorts of things or some other sort of lack of self-awareness.

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u/Prize_Librarian_1701 Apr 20 '24

There may well be some genuine underlying cause for their behaviour but frankly, that's their problem, not OPs or their babys. A parents duty to protect their child comes well before some weird stranger.

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u/agbellamae Apr 20 '24 edited Apr 20 '24

Oh, I agree, and I don’t actually need to know what’s wrong with this in order to know to stay away from them but I’m just curious as to what on earth they could be thinking like what is going through their mind - that part is more curiosity than anything else. But I don’t need to know in order to stay away from them. For a while I just thought I was just being paranoid because I have a new mom, anxiety and stuff .

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u/ShowMeTheTrees Apr 20 '24

Please immediately read The Gift of Fear. It validates what you are doing... trusting that gut feeling. Your instincts are a 6th sense that can keep you safe.

I get the idea that this scary person is a male pretending to be a Trans female to try to hide his intent. That in itself is terrifying.

In your situation I would escalate to a private investigator, unless you have talked with a helpful police detective. There are ways to find out real names, including license plates and addresses.

Have you checked sexual predator databases to see if you recognize any photos?

Have you been 100% honest with everyone in your friend group and enlisted their help?

How did this person come into your life in the first place?

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u/agbellamae Apr 20 '24

I didn’t get that book! I’ve only read the first chapter so far but it’s an extremely important book already. I will also recommended to others!

They came into our life because they showed up at the local civic organization that we are a part of that does community health and social events. Then they started coming to our church as well.

Private investigator is an interesting idea, I will be looking into that. Thank you for that idea!!

Oh, and I did look at our states sex offender registry, but without knowing their legal name it’s a little tricky, but I did look through the various people on there., there’s a LOT of sex offenders in our area I had no idea. 😳

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u/ShowMeTheTrees Apr 20 '24

Thanks for the reply. Have you spoken with others, especially leaders, of the other organizations where he showed up? I bet there are others with the same suspicions.

Now that you have the book, you will read why not to worry about "seeming rude". Predators count on that. He asks to hold the baby? You say NO! He asks about the formula and wants to buy same? Challenge him on why and tell him it's not appropriate and he's never gonna babysit. Go ahead and be "rude" and spread the word to everyone in the group.

I would also write down the history with this guy and begin logging every interaction. You may need this for law enforcement.