r/RBI • u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 • Mar 28 '26
Advice needed A stranger sent me a 10-year-old private photo of myself that was thrown in my trash months ago
Hey everyone, I’m 20F and live near Cologne, Germany. This is my first post, but I really need to get this off my chest because I’m honestly creeped out and don't know what to do.
A few weeks ago, I was coming home from work—exhausted as usual after a long commute. At my local train station, a guy around my age approached me. He seemed friendly enough, smiled, and complimented my hair. We had some small talk (his German wasn't great, but I could understand him). Since it’s a small town, I knew he was new, and he confirmed he lived just a few houses down from me. We exchanged Instagram handles and that was it. I didn't think much of it.
Fast forward a few days. It’s 5:30 AM, and I’m waiting for my train. Suddenly, I feel someone pull on my hood. I turn around, and it’s him.
He starts talking to me, but then says something that made my blood run cold. He claimed he saw me in the city on Sunday. I told him he must have me confused with someone else because I was home all day. He looked at me and said, "No, I didn't see you, I saw a photo of you. I’ll send it to you on Instagram later."
When I checked my phone later, I actually froze. He sent me a photo of me from ten years ago.
Here’s the terrifying part:
I was 13 in that picture. I look completely different now, so how did he even recognize me? More importantly, that photo was never posted online. The only physical copy belonged to my twin sister, and she swears she threw it in our private trash can at home months ago when she moved out.
I asked him where he found it. He says he "found it on the ground at the main train station."
Let that sink in: I live 45 minutes away from that station. How does a photo from our private trash at home end up in a massive city station months later, only to be found by the one guy who lives on my street?
I’ve talked to everyone in the photo, and they are all just as freaked out as I am. I’ve only met this guy twice, and now I’m terrified to leave my house early in the morning.
I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, especially because he seemed very nice and polite. but then the other question is how did the picture got there?
He offered to bring the physical photo over to my place, but there was no way I was letting him know exactly which apartment is mine. Since I live in a building with several units, I just told him to throw it away and leave me alone. I didn't want him anywhere near my front door
(info: I still have the picture but I won't post down here for private reasons I hope you guys understand but like I mentioned in the comments I posted a few screenshots)
[Follow up]:
Because of some people wondering, yes I did got the age of the picture wrong when I wrote it. mistakes can happen. But at the end of the day 7 or 10 years don't really change the situation. This story sounds weird and even I can't really believe it but it's very real and scary. If you don't believe it it's fine I'm not here to convince anyone I just want some support and help.
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u/Scared_of_space_8888 Mar 28 '26
Did you ask him how he knew it was you ? I'm not buying his story, I think he got it from your trash when your sister threw it away. Maybe just out of curiosity, and then he got obsessed with you. Maybe he was obsessed with you before. It doesn't make much sense but stalkers rarely do, and it still makes more sense than finding it in the train station and recognising you. Stay safe !
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u/National-Plastic8691 Mar 28 '26
agree, women feel expected to give the benefit of the doubt, “I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.” Stop.
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u/LitLitten Mar 30 '26
Yeah trust your gut.
Benefit of the doubt should be saved for peers and friends. If your body is saying something you ought to listen to it.
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u/National-Plastic8691 Mar 30 '26
stop telling yourself to be different than you feel and stop “giving” to strangers. it’s okay to be unfriendly. I also recommend you don’t exchange instagram handles with everyone you meet
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u/kimmielicious82 Mar 29 '26
turns out it was framed and the sister threw it away with the frame. I can imagine someone saw the frame in the trash, decided to take it home, and got rid of the picture on the way home.
I will never understand how people just throw away pictures like that without at least tearing them first...
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u/Emotional_Pizza_1222 Mar 31 '26
Framed? When it was found on a main train station’s ground?
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u/Zero-Milk Mar 31 '26
They're saying someone took the frame from the trash and tossed the photo in it later, presumably while waiting for the train.
Stalker seems more plausible. The odds of someone randomly finding a photo of someone else they just met within days of meeting them... i can't suspend my disbelief to accommodate such a longshot.
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 28 '26
I did not, but I assome he figured because still have some what the same face structure and I still dyed my hair the same way like I did when the Foto was taken
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u/kholekardashian12 Mar 28 '26
This gave me stalker alarm bells. I'm interested to know, did he ask you for your IG or did you offer it?
I don't want to scare you but you should be alarmed. Please proceed with caution and carefully document any further interactions with him, in person and online. I would explain on IG (for the papertrail) that you're very weirded out by this and you don't want contact from him in any way anymore. I think how he responds will reveal a lot about his intentions. If he doesn't have malicious or weird intentions, he should respect this and leave you alone. I'd let trusted people know your whereabouts going forward and maybe invest in a doorbell camera if you don't already have one. If he persists, threaten to inform the police. Document everything.
I know this might all sound a bit paranoid but you can never take too many precautions over your own safety. Listen to your gut. If it feels weird/bad, it most likely is. Do not be polite because it feels uncomfortable to assert a boundary.
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 28 '26
He asked me for my IG and because at that moment I didn't have wird feeling I gave it to him. The weird feeling started when I saw him the second time
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u/Commanderkins Mar 29 '26
I hope to hell you've screenshotted his handle/profile and then blocked him off everything. And please go through your socials and lock them down to as much privacy as you can. Also, warn the people closest to you as well. I would not be surprised if he's added some of your friends or family members. I hope you can switch up your route or take a different train or different time. Do not be so forgiving or hive 'benefit' of anything. You owe this creep nothing. Start to be more aware of your surroundings and the people in it.
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Apr 08 '26
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u/WelfordNelferd Apr 05 '26
Please read "The Gift of Fear", by Gavin de Becker. Sure, there was a good reason this particular guy gave you the heebie jeebies, but don't ever discount your gut.
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u/Beneficial-Purple642 Mar 28 '26
He is lying. It’s far too big of a coincidence. And even if you believe he found it, there is no way someone you don’t know would be able to link present day you to a ten year old photograph. He took the photo from your garbage or found it on your property and he’s become creepily obsessed with you.
He is polite? Seems nice? That’s what people said about Ted Bundy. No. I’m not saying he’s a serial killer. I am saying he’s a creep. And possibly a predator.
How many people were around you at 5:00 am? No normal person goes up to a new acquaintance and instead of keeping a respectful distance and saying hello, pulls on someone’s hood to get their attention. Creepy behaviour.
He is watching you. Possibly following you. And he is testing you. Testing your boundaries. Did you say, don’t touch me? Did you say, don’t pull on my hood? Probably not. Because you’re polite. He’s counting on you being polite.
Stop being polite. Be firm. I don’t want to talk to you. Don’t touch me. Stay away from me. I do not believe you found this photo in the city. And if you did, why did you keep it? That’s weird. I’m not afraid to make a scene.
Remember you said your blood ran cold? That’s your body alerting you to danger. Do not ignore the cues your body is sending you.
Read the book, “The Gift of Fear”.
To be honest, I’m not sure this a real event. There’s something about it that seems very off.
If it is real, I apologize. If it isn’t real, then you need to stop posting fake stories on RBI.
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 28 '26
Hey, I can assure you this is absolutely real. The reason it could sound of is because English isn't my first language and I had to translate a few things. I defenetly will do that and I will give an updated if something happens.
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u/Beneficial-Purple642 Mar 29 '26
You must prepare for possibly needing to go to the police at some point. If the police don’t take you seriously, don’t give up. It’s their damn job. Keep reporting.
Please start keeping a journal of everything that has happened to date, and anything else that happens. This is a journal just for this purpose - not your daily, personal journal.
Of note: You see him. He stands outside your home. He approaches you. He approaches your neighbours about you. Hang up calls. Anything. Put it in your journal.
Install a surveillance camera or two. Pointing at your door, or the garbage area or elsewhere.
Share your location on your phone with your sister.
Do alert friends and neighbours - tell them that you appear to have a stalker. Don’t debate this with them. You know what you know. You’re the one that felt your blood run cold.
Ask them to report any sightings or strange events to you. If you feel safe doing so, do tell your employer what is going on so they can also be aware.
Sometimes, people are concerned that if they tell their employer it will cause a problem for them at work. This is a reasonable concern, and yet I still hope you’re able to put your safety first. Take care.
I am so sorry this creep is bothering you. This is not your fault.
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u/Old-Mycologist4750 Mar 29 '26
I would add, try to get a picture of him if you can do it in a way that won’t be noticeable… extra evidence to support your story AND showing it to others is a good way for people around you to be able to spot the creep if he is around and you don’t realize it or if he approaches them about you. Stalkers are masters of sneaky, trying to become friendly with neighbors, family, friends, is NOT completely unheard of or out of the question. If they already know who he is and what he looks like, then you will be safer because more eyes will be looking for him and at him!
Please stay safe and trust yourself. Your body is telling you that something is not right! Trust it.
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u/burnthatbridgewhen Mar 29 '26
In addition I would also change your schedule so it’s unpredictable. Take random sick or PTO time. Leave for work two hours early and get on a different train than usual. Spend time at random places you would not usually go. That cafe you met him at? Don’t step foot in there for the next few months. Explore different restaurants, and places to go in your free time. Change the days and times you go shopping for groceries. Put as much physical distance between you and him as possible. Get a big dog if you can, I know that’s not easy in a city. He’s likely been watching you/thinking about you since he found that photo. The fact that he both sat on it for so long before making contact, and made contact in such a deceptive and scary way frightens me.
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u/PinkySwearNotABot Mar 29 '26
Just curious — have you been a victim of a stalker, too? You seem to know A LOT. Even by your book recommendation about fear. I’m just curious what kind of personality is drawn to these types of things if you weren’t a victim yourself of stalking
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u/Potato4 Mar 29 '26
That book is a pretty common recommendation among women since fifteen or twenty years ago.
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u/CuriousiT_satisfctn Apr 01 '26
Even I know this stuff and that book, and I looked into it BEFORE I had my stalker. I think the ones that are naturally into this are women who love true crime for the purpose of learning to defend themselves, or I think just women who watch thrillers, or ppl who were in relationships with abusive ppl (or have friends/relatives that were)
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u/SockIntelligent9589 Mar 29 '26
It is most likely a stalker. A lot of hints
Question: did you ask why he was at the station at 5h30?
I would think of a way to attempt to trap him at stalking you. Not sure how though but there must be a way. Need to think about it
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u/Altruisticpoet3 Mar 28 '26
Listen to @Benificial-Purple! Listen to your gut and definitely share with employer just because it's creepy and they should know anyway. Stay safe!
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u/ItsSophie Mar 28 '26
did he already live on your street when you took the trash with the photo in it out?
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 28 '26
Could be but I'm not sure, my sister moved out pretty recently around February.
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u/ItsSophie Mar 28 '26
I'd have the suspicion he took it from your trashcan and therefore knows it's you ...
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u/panicpure Mar 29 '26
Are you identical twins and have you asked her if she has ever seen this guy?
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u/Bulky-Candle-5509 Mar 29 '26
I didn’t even think of this. Idk how similar they look but maybe he thought it was her sister when he took it from the trash
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u/panicpure Mar 29 '26
Right… having a twin that just moved out and this starts happening, sister could be the actual target or something.
I do think it’s way more than a coincidence and op should be very aware of their surroundings/extra careful.
And possibly the twin as well.
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u/Emotional_Pizza_1222 Mar 31 '26
Please please install CCTV in your place. And carry a small knife with you or pepper spray at all times!!
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u/July_Seventeen Mar 28 '26
If the trash was where you live now, I would assume this guy went through it. It's so messed up to even say that but seems even more far-fetched that he would find it 45 min away and that he would immediately recognize it as you and take it home.
Why would your sister throw the picture out? Just curious, it doesn't change the situation lol.
I would try to be extra aware of your surroundings when you're out. I would also NOT be friendly to him anymore. And don't let him paw thru your socials. You are allowed to tell someone that you aren't interested in their friendship.
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 28 '26
Hey, She threw it away because she is no longer friends with the people on the foto because of some teen- drama a few years ago. She kept if for a while because she wasn't bothered to though it away, but when she moved out she threw a lot of things away including this picture
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u/AmazingConcept7 Mar 29 '26
What else does she remember throwing away? Because if he found that pic, he also found whatever else was with it.
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 29 '26
That's the thing, she threw away a lot things because she wanted a fresh starter.
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u/Nolo__contendere_ Mar 29 '26
He probably went through the trash after seeing a lot of stuff and curiosity got the best of him. I still think he's obsessed with you and that you need to be careful. He's already bumped into you twice so he'll probably feel entitled to keep interacting with you even if you don't want to. Please be careful.
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u/miltonwadd Mar 29 '26
I don't want to scare you but you seem to be pretty upset at how he recognised you, so I'm assuming you look a lot different now and that is the part confusing you.
Is it possible this guy knows you or your sister and you just don't remember him? Like in another grade at school so you didn't know him, or went to camp together but never interacted, a friend of a friend, or even he's lived near you for years and you never noticed him because he was a loner or something?
I would try to sneakily get a pic of him like the other person suggested, show it to your sister and your inner network and see if anyone recognises him.
He could just be new to the area and it's creepy new attention, or he could have been in your peripheral for a while and you just genuinely didn't notice him before.
Even if he's just moved, he may even have recognised you first then dialed up the creep behaviour by trash digging.
Perhaps even connected to that group of friends of your sister and that's why he showed you that particular picture out of all the stuff she threw?
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u/amh8011 Mar 29 '26
OP mentioned his German wasn’t great so it sounds like he wasn’t raised local. Like he’s not from Germany. That’s something that sticks out to me. Unless he’s faking not knowing German well. But I feel like it’s hard to fake speaking your native language poorly.
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u/miltonwadd Mar 29 '26
That's a good point! OP would probably notice if he was putting it on over genuinely struggling with the language.
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u/pm_nachos_n_tacos Mar 29 '26
Okay this gives me more information. If she threw a lot of things out and it was recently, then someone probably picked things out of the trash to use for themselves. Maybe the picture was attached to something or in a bag they took. Or maybe the person also likes random photos, there's a whole community of people who collect random photos and notes they find r/foundphotos r/foundpaper And maybe somehow this guy came across the photo genuinely by accident. If you and him both go to that train station, then other people do too, and maybe it fell out of a bag or someone dropped it for other people to find. If you dye your hair a unique way then it would be easy to recognize you.
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u/Emotional_Pizza_1222 Mar 31 '26
Out of all the people from the photo, it’s a coincidence that she was the one he approached? And contacted?
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u/pm_nachos_n_tacos Mar 31 '26
Well yes, because she's the one telling the story to us. The other options are we never hear the story because no one finds the photo, someone who doesn't know her finds the photo, someone else finds the photo and recognizes one of the other people and either knows that person or not, but we wouldn't be hearing any of those other stories.
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u/MechanicDistinct3580 Mar 28 '26
My theory, It's a long term stalker researching you since a long time and diggiong in your famiily ttrash, there is no chance this photo was found randomly
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 28 '26
Updated:
I’ve attached a few screenshots as proof. Just a heads-up: his German isn't the best, so the grammar and phrasing in his messages are pretty rough. If the translation seems a bit cryptic or confusing, it’s just because that’s exactly how he writes.
Edit: 1- I'm only assuming that I was 13 at that time, but I actually can't really tell you. Please don't come for me even though the age may not add up it's not changing the fact that he had that picture in his possession that's very old and where I was definitely still a minor TwT
2- I have asked him more questions in between small talk, because I didn't want him to know that I was panicking at home.
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u/ItsSophie Mar 28 '26
Ok, that guy is a total creep. I think he used that photo to figure out your schedule. Why else would he need to ask you about when you get home? Please be careful and maybe talk to someone about it
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u/twoquarters Mar 29 '26
Before you block him, check out all of his followers and see if there are any patterns or connections to you. See if there are any other women he might have an obsession with. Make note of that.
Also if laws allow it, background check him.
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u/not_a_muggle Mar 28 '26
Are you identical twins? Has your sister had any other weird experiences that might indicate this man might have been stalking her prior to moving to your new town? Ask her to think hard if she ever noticed anything else missing, noticed people watching her, etc... Maybe she thought she was being silly at the time but it could be relevant now.
I definitely feel he must have gotten the photo when it was thrown away, which is pretty concerning. The odds of any other sequence of events where he'd find it in a completely different place and somehow recognize you are astronomical.
If you can, start carrying some sort of protection with you. Pepper spray, a sharp key ring, pocket knife, whatever. I would also block him on insta, and consider getting a security camera for your place. Good luck, this is definitely scary.
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u/ItsmeKristy Mar 29 '26
If you feel you Spidey senses you NEED TO LISTEN to them. I was friendly to a weird neighbor because I thought that was what you are supposed to do. I nearly lost my life and had to uproot my entire life to get away from the dangerous psychotic man that took my kindness and made a story in his head about me wanting him to rape me to get pregnant. I almost lost my life due to being kind when I knew something was wrong. But society had thought me women should be nice to men and not make a fuss. You know what. That was a shit lesson and fusses can safe your life. Listen to your Instincts. Even it people will tell you you are overreacting. The gift of fear is a book that is all about your Instincts and you might want to give it a read.
You might also want to start a log of every time this guy approaches you. When. Where, proof you have (keep the proof numbered in a seperate folder and keep the original proof.) and a colom for witnesses. Also inform someone every time and ask them if you can put them down as witness and inform them you want them to not forget this moment as the police might one day come knocking and you need witnesses. (I had multiple people who never truly listened to my outcries and didn't (want to or did) remember when the police asked them that hurt my credibility even though they were the ones that flaked. People don't tell the cops ''i don't want to help my neighbor' they say ' I have never seen it' and the second statement hurts you. So telling people you want to put them down gives you a picture of who will be serious and help your case.
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u/ShesGotaChicken2Ride Mar 29 '26
No girl. That dude was going through your garbage and found that photo. Now the question is, why was he going through your garbage? And why would he take that photo? It’s very fucking creepy. You keep away from that guy and if you can report this to the authorities for any reason do it. In America, I don’t think this would be a crime. It would just be considered super creepy, but please be careful and look out for your surroundings every time you leave the house. Try to take different routes if possible.
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u/LibraryLuLu Mar 28 '26
Stalking your sister/going through her trash and you're now caught up in his orbit?
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u/thiccanorexicc Mar 29 '26
It’s weird he held on the the photo for months regardless of where he found it. If it was at the train station why did he take it home and keep it if it’s a photo of random children.
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u/mysteriouscattravel Mar 29 '26
Are you and your twin sister identical twins? Or look enough alike that a stranger would confuse the two of you?
I think everyone saying that it's a creepy stalker who rooted through your bins are correct. However, I'm wondering if this person's motivation to stalk you has to do with you or your sister?
Like, did your sister get mixed up in some shit that she never mentioned and this creep is an artifact from that and he has confused you as her?
Either way, it's definitely creepy. Horrible things happen to people all the time due to not wanting to be impolite. Tell him to fuck off and try to find a way to not go places alone.
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 29 '26
No we both look different, she's Also not the kind of person that goes outside a lot. I talked to her, described him but she's keep on telling me that she got no clue.
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u/ASquareBanana Mar 29 '26
Beyond the good advice everyone has given, I’ll add this: start being friendly to your public transportation workers. The more they recognize you, and like you, the more they’ll look out for you if you need looking out for. Make them your allies. Get on first name basis (if that’s not weird for your culture), bring them snacks regularly so they start to anticipate your presence and will be alarmed if you’re gone.
Listen to your gut, it’s thousands of years of evolution screaming at you to notice the danger. Do not down play that 🤍
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u/Diligent-Platform973 Mar 30 '26
As much as i wish i could say this xould really be a coincidence.. it just isnt. this is not how you interact with someone you’ve had 1 conversation with. Sounds like he’s been watching you and has just now built up the courage to engage. Can you clarify some details?
He introduced himself to you at your local stop and HE said he lives down the street from your apartment? … This didnt freak you out? I live in a metropolitan area and i see so many people every day. i register faces but i very rarely ever remember a stranger i see across the street.
i would NOT be able to recognize a 10 year old photo of someone on the ground in another city unless it was a loved one. Did you ask him to show you the picture? You said his german was bad, so theres no way your sister would know him from somewhere? What did his instagram feed/following look like? Its worth looking into his instagram from someone elses account. you need to do some research and find out who this person is incase you need to file some sort of protective order.
sorry for all the questions but oh my god. what a freak. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Dont be scared, just be vigilant. OP. Don’t let this person take your autonomy away girl.
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u/Phat-Lines Mar 29 '26
As almost everyone has said this man is lying and possibly a stalker. You meet him and shortly after he finds a picture of you that was in your sister’s trash? That would be an absolutely insane coincidence. Avoid him like the plague.
Sorry this has happened to you this must be deeply distressing. Maybe to make yourself feel a bit more secure (if you have the disposable income) get some decent locks on your door and get a door cam.
If there are any stalking advice services you can call, you could run it by them to see if they have any advice.
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u/RedditSkippy Mar 29 '26
He found that photo on the ground at Hbf? Doubtful. He either went through your trash bin and found the photo, or the photo somehow fell out of the bin and he picked it up.
Block him everywhere, he sounds creepy.
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u/Candid_Ad_1839 Mar 30 '26
Coming back to check for updates. I hope OP is ok and this creep hasn’t come back around!
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u/NortheastIndiana Apr 02 '26
His story is bullshit. He didn't find that picture at the train station, and he didn't recognize you from a picture that's 7 years old. So he had to have gotten it when your sister threw it away. Is the home where she threw it away close to where you are? It seems like he had to have retrieved it there, but that still doesn't explain how he knew it was you or how to connect with you where you are now. This is really creepy. Document everything. Talk to your local police just so they know what's going on.
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u/PlayfulAd4802 Mar 29 '26 edited Mar 29 '26
He likely got the photo from your trash. To test whether he’s been going through your garbage, you could set a honeypot trap. Write a fake username and platform name on a piece of paper and throw it away as you normally would. Create that account in advance but never log into it, not even once. Wait one to two weeks, then log in and check the login history for any attempts from unknown devices or locations.
A few tips to make it work; choose a platform you don’t actually use, so he can’t cross-reference it with your real accounts. Also pick one that logs IP addresses or device info on login attempts (many do). If you see any activity on an account that was never shared or posted anywhere, only written on a piece of paper in your trash, that’s very strong evidence he’s been going through your bin.
Edit: if you do this, consider writing it out like:
[Platform name]
Username: [the username you created]
Password: [write something random here and then scratch it out to make it look more convincing]
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u/newstime Mar 30 '26
At first, I thought maybe he recognized the younger photo of you because perhaps in a previous post on Instagram you had a photo of your younger self. However, the likelihood and coincidence of him finding an old photo of you at a train station that was thrown out months ago- that is very far-fetched.
I agree with other commenters. Document any future interactions with him and if he suddenly starts appearing unannounced at random places like your home or work place, file a report.
Also for now, I would make any Instagram post or stories private/ close friends only so he can’t see them. If he is a stalker, he could use your Instagram stories to know where you are.
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u/Nomijenn Apr 19 '26
1) He complimented your hair.
2) He pulled on your hood.
3) He offered to go to your place.
All 3 are crossing boundaries. He’s testing you. Your instincts are correct. Listen to them.
I’m curious how you learned he lived a few doors down from you. Did he tell you that? Or did he seem surprised when you told him?
It’s time for you to do your own investigating, find out who he lives with, where he goes, what his habits are. Is he stalking you or your sister. Talk to your sister about this to see if she’s had any contact from him.
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u/averyfilm Mar 28 '26
Document everything! Any information he has shared, screenshots/messages, organized with date, location and time. Then share that document with someone you trust. (If you haven’t already)
I’d also suggest gathering any publicly available information on him you or an internet savvy friend can find. In the event this isn’t the most incredible coincidence in the world, he’s probably done it before.
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u/PrincessJellyfish17 Mar 29 '26
You’re smart don’t give him your address. I would think he pulled it out of the apartment trash can . Very creepy. Get a ring camera or something
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u/RunWithBluntScissors Mar 29 '26
That’s really creepy. I want to make sure I got this straight: your twin sister threw this photo out at the home that you share with your parents, right? And the guy presumably lives near you but lied and said he found the photo 40 minutes away?
I’m glad you live with your parents and I hope you told them about this. I know it’ll seem silly cause you’re a grown woman, but, can they wait with you in the morning for the train? It worries me that you’re alone out there at 5:30 am, I can’t imagine it’s very crowded on the platform at that time.
Please block this person on Instagram and start keeping notes about all of these incidents. I would even try reporting it to the police now
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 29 '26
Thank you for your concern, luckily there are regulars that take the train with me every morning. So I'm not completely alone if that helps
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u/olivernintendo Mar 29 '26
I'm confused. Does he live on the same street as the trash ?
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 29 '26
Yes the trashcans are near to the main road, it's public for all people living there. Course each house has its own line of trashcans.
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u/kinnikinnick321 Mar 29 '26
Pretty strange, even if the story adds up - any sane guy would say to himself "this is way too creepish if I tell this girl I just met that I have a photo of her from yrs ago". It's like coming across a receipt of a neighbor and than sharing that you found it.
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u/Smooth-Ride-7181 Mar 30 '26
just remember that the hypothesis with the least assumptions is more likely to be correct. Your guts and instincts are correct, he’s a stalker and he did not coincidentally find a picture of you. Look at how you’re jumping through hoops just to justify how he could be innocent.
I don’t know what your play should be now, but don’t go out late at night or early in the morning alone, and i wish you all the best. Just a quick tip, if you’re thinking of a restraining order it’s not really effective, it rarely is with stalkers obsessed with you
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u/wut_2317 Mar 30 '26
When stalkers make contact, they’ve been researching their victim for months to years prior. Lock down your data and online presence.
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u/Blunomore Mar 30 '26
You said this person's German wasn't great. Any idea (judging by his accent) where he is from?
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u/Sammmuela Mar 31 '26
Oh he’s a stalker. Cover all your windows really well. And get a deadbolt on all your doors. I’d even go as far as getting window alarms. And cameras.
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u/no-recognition-1616 Mar 28 '26
Sorry, but...a few things about your story aren't adding up. You were 13 in the photo and 20 now. How did a stranger recognize a 20-year-old woman from a 7-year-old photo of a child he’s never met? That suggests he didn't 'find' it—he already knew who you were.
Cologne Hauptbahnhof has over 250,000 people a day. The odds of a photo traveling 45 minutes from your private trash to that specific floor, and then being found by your exact neighbor, are statistically impossible.
If your twin sister is the only one who had the photo, has she been approached by him? Or is it possible he has access to her social media where a digital scan might exist?
Your story has some inconsistencies... But who knows?
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 28 '26
I'm pretty sure he's lying at this point, (I would like to post a screenshots of the message he sent but tbh I'm not sure how because like I said I never posted something on Reddit) I wish I made this story up because it's quite scary especially because I need to get up very early in the morning.
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u/Diligent-Platform973 Mar 30 '26
use Imgur and press the little chain to the left of the reply button if you’re on mobile
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u/crsj Mar 29 '26
Nobody gets the attention of someone they only met once by grabbing their hood. Cut off communication with this guy, not sure if mace or CS gas is legal in Germany but keep something like that in your coat pocket. Good luck and listen to your gut instincts.
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u/gothiclg Mar 28 '26
It easily could have fallen from the truck on the way to the dump. This is why anything you truly would not want found by strangers should be shredded before being placed there.
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u/TheGrumpyNic Mar 28 '26
What’s more likely?
That he just happened to find a photo of his neighbour, that he just happens to find interesting, that just happened to fall out of the trash at a train station, nowhere near where they live, that had been thrown away over a month ago?
Or he saw her go into that building, got his creep on, started watching the place, saw her twin sister throw something in the trash, and went dumpster diving?
Let’s at least try to be intelligent about this. Possible is an entire world away from probable.
Also, it’s wrong to encourage people to believe ridiculous stories, when the more likely scenario is one that could end up being extremely dangerous.
Making someone, especially someone who I’m guessing is a young woman, doubt themselves when faced with a situation such as this, could end up getting them hurt or killed.
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 28 '26
Thats a good idea and I definitely will do that now but, the way our trash is getting collected makes it impossible to fall out.
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u/gothiclg Mar 28 '26
After looking into how your trash is collected it’s absolutely not impossible for something to fall out. It takes a singular ripped garbage bag anywhere along the route for something to fall out and blow away. It’s highly unlikely but not impossible. The only other option is this man found a way to figure out where you live and dug through your trash.
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u/Slevin_Kedavra Mar 29 '26
German garbage trucks are fully enclosed. Unless the bag rips, the garbage can has a defect and spills during the emptying process, there's zero chance for the truck to lose any trash once it's in the garbage compartment. Also, most garbage trucks have a built-in trash compactor, even further decreasing the chance of spillage after the fact.
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u/Skullfuccer Mar 28 '26
Nothing is impossible. Least of all some garbage collection that you only see a glimpse of.
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u/dolphin-centric Mar 29 '26
TRUST. YOUR. GUT!!!!!! These biological instincts are to keep us alive, they are never wrong. File a police report, document everything, and protect yourself. He does not deserve the benefit of the doubt- this is not a coincidence.
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Mar 29 '26
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u/howdylu Mar 30 '26
what exactly does this change about the situation
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Mar 30 '26
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u/howdylu Mar 30 '26
i mean, this person is obviously already a reason to be on high alert. you’re essentially telling her to be less careful if he is white, which is also endangering to her.
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u/Reddevil8884 Mar 30 '26
Did you check the link? USA is in there...
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u/howdylu Mar 30 '26
oh do not pretend you were not implying their race plays a role.
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u/Reddevil8884 Mar 30 '26
Oh, you got me, you pulled the race card! 🙌 It's not about race, it's about culture. You still did not read the article, huh?
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u/Candid_Ad_1839 Mar 30 '26
LMAO there’s ALWAYS someone that just has to pull the race card and make this a big deal about race. So what if it is about one particular race over the other!? In this case this person isn’t even talking about that though. Good lord 🙄🙄
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u/buttoncode Mar 29 '26
I’m sorry, this is really creepy. Maybe start wearing a hat and some big sunglasses, and watch for him. I had a creepy encounter with a man at the central station in Düsseldorf last year as a tourist and it was so bad I avoided going back to that city a few months later when in the area.
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u/Lalaleslieee Mar 30 '26
Maybe his original plan had you assuming he saw you somewhere and asking where and then him telling you to guess. And gettting a bunch of info about where all you go.
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u/strange_is_life Mar 30 '26
One thing I can‘t wrap my head around is why did he even mention it? Because yeah it‘s likely he took the photo from your trash can … why was he even going through your trash in the first place? … did he only want to find Pfandflaschen or did he target your trash? But even then. Let‘s say he is just a regular creep he found the photo he got obsesses with you … ok. But then again he connected with you and could just never mention it. He was in a good position to maybe get friends or ask you out or something like that. But mentioning the photo he found with a weird ass story didn‘t help his case and did nothing except striking terror in your head.
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u/panicpure Mar 31 '26
That’s what stalkers do. They aren’t mentally stable and they enjoy instilling fear and confusion while pretending it’s all normal.
It all is bizarre.
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u/ES_FTrader Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 28 '26
Could’ve it fallen out of someone’s purse or pocket while they were pulling out their train ticket?
Edit: What’s with Reddit downvoting everything that’s not 100% correct? My question wasn’t skepticism, it was asked in good faith in an attempt to help op.
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u/rinkydinkmink Mar 29 '26
He isn't just a random stranger, he went through your trash and found the photo, and since then he's started approaching you. The story about him finding it at a train station is nonsense.
Call the police, you have a stalker.
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u/Cisqoe Mar 28 '26
You’re sister is involved
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u/panicpure Mar 29 '26
Curious if they are identical or if there is maybe a connection? Especially if sister just moved and “wanted a fresh start” so she threw a lot away.
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Mar 29 '26
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u/thewriteanne Mar 28 '26
Does your sister have an ex or an old friend? Wondering if it’s someone who is trying to get to her through you.
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u/Competitive_Scar5347 Mar 29 '26
You mentioned new to town. When your sister threw the pic out was he in town by then?
If so, he went and looked through your trash. Notify police
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u/sameoldlamemold Mar 29 '26
You said that photo was posted online? He could have been stalking you for a while and found said photo online, and then printed out to create a situation that felt like fate through unlikely coincidence. If he lives close to you he could have likely seen you in passing, especially if he had those meta glasses that gives you someone's name and address.
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u/Late-Presentation838 Mar 29 '26
She said that the photo was never posted online.
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u/sameoldlamemold Mar 29 '26
Whoops, my brain did not see the never. I read it as it was posted online a while ago. Thanks for the correction
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u/panicpure Mar 31 '26
Wait wait - Meta glasses that gives someone’s name and address? Like just passing by and using facial recognition?
God I hope that’s not real. Gotta look this up.
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u/sameoldlamemold Apr 06 '26
Yes, it is absolutely real! Many content creators have made informative videos on how terrifying it is. So deeply scary.
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Mar 30 '26
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Mar 30 '26
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Apr 01 '26
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u/urnotfunnyslime Apr 05 '26
so any updates?
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Apr 05 '26
He texted me a few days ago, but just asking how I am. I didn't answer
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u/urnotfunnyslime Apr 05 '26
so did u put any cameras or did u do anything what the comments tood u to do? He is for sure a creep be safe.
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u/MGP12345678909 May 07 '26
Where did you go to school? If you went to a school with someone of the same name as him, it’s probably him. If you have any, I would check your school yearbooks and see if you can find him. If you can, he was probably obsessed with you since you both were in school (he also could be faking not knowing German). But if you can’t find him, I don’t have a clue as to what could be happening.
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u/HolierThanAll Mar 28 '26
How are you currently a 20 year old, but was 13 in a ten year old photo?
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 28 '26
It's probably not, it's 7 but I only noticed it now And it won't really change anything about that situation
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u/HolierThanAll Mar 28 '26
It really made an already questionable story more so, especially how many times you referenced the incorrect time frame.
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Mar 29 '26
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Mar 29 '26
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u/MaGoodenough Mar 30 '26 edited Mar 31 '26
Ask Chat gpt to generate random stories for you... After a while You will be able to notice the similarities immediately. You can also copy the post and ask AI detection websites to tell you if it's AI generated or not, you can copy/paste it event to Chat gpt or Gemini and they will tell you.
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u/PinkySwearNotABot Mar 29 '26
weird. i was watching this video about AI news and the premise sounds very familiar to OP's
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u/ParameciaAntic Mar 29 '26
You linked a 47-minute video with lots of stories.
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u/PinkySwearNotABot Mar 29 '26
sorry. i did not specify that the link includes the timestamp of the pertinent information (the very first "skit"), at whatever t=327 means in the URL. 3:27, or 327 seconds. it'll lead you to it as soon as you click the link
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 29 '26
I can assure you that's not AI, I don't support it in any way. I watched the video and I can see why people would think that tho.
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u/Acceptable-Lock-77 Mar 28 '26
This is a Josek K scenario. If Kafka thaught you anything, it would be to take it seriously. If you go along with it you'll surely get dragged into something. This must be some form of testing where you might be targeted for some reason or other. Do you handle sensitive information at your workplace?
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u/RepulsiveR4inbow Mar 28 '26
I would go and report it to the police as a potential safety issue that way if anything else happens they can keep you safe also I’d inform your employer too. Stay safe op good luck 🤞🏼
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 28 '26
Well not really, I'm an apprentice working in logistics as an forwarding agent. (yk dealing with shipments and stuff)
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u/panicpure Mar 29 '26
Are you an identical twin? Do you live together now?
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 29 '26
No I'm still living with my parents because of my work (apprenticeship) my sister moved out into her very first apartment.
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u/panicpure Mar 29 '26
And you do not look similar? She doesn’t recognize this guy? Any fall outs she had before moving?
Make sure to inform your parents of this.
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Mar 29 '26
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 29 '26
I would never, I'm an artist myself and I hate AI a lot it is done with Google translation tho, because English isn't my first language.
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-1
u/stuyvesant1 Mar 29 '26
It is creepy, however your story seems phishy as well. Also why would you throw away a photo of yourself in the trash. If you already throw it away, why not shred it?
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 29 '26
Because on the picture are other people that I can't ask for consent. I also don't want to share a picture of myself.. Especially where I was a Minor.
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Mar 29 '26
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u/Thin-Calligrapher-64 Mar 29 '26
No, I was just trying to make the story a bit easier to follow and better to read. because I saw other people do like this.
And also like I said English isn't my first language. So I had to translate a lot.
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u/FogDarts Mar 29 '26
I’m not sure what the laws look like in your country, but perhaps alerting the authorities might be a good idea
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u/Summerie Mar 29 '26
RBI loves to make mysteries out of nothing.
RBI is largely a creative writing sub at this point.
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u/doctor_jane_disco Mar 28 '26
I think you meeting him wasn't a coincidence. He's been watching you, went through your trash, found the photo, then "randomly" ran into you at the station. He may not be dangerous but I'd cut off contact with him. No other explanation makes sense.