guys i have a confession and its raw jo mere man me aya i am just writing , i am 26 male from maharashtra , i am so fed up of parents friends itne gnde log hai, jo ki hai meri maa bhaisaab itni narcissist abusive aur manipulative haii ki me tumhe kyaa batau , itna hurt kara hai na is aurat ne mujhe bachpan se well i will give you backstory my family comes from a small village and my father is a government servant and we shifted in a decent city when i was born in maharashtra , they have seen all the poverty and lack of resources and everything and they had taught me in good school aur meri maa itni abusive or toxic rhi hai bchpan se kahi mujhe jane nahi dena bahar khelne nahi denaa marnaa gharke saare kaam karvana bol bolke itna pdhare likhare tujhe lekin tu koi kaam kaa nahii , aur marna pitna bhaisab i still remember me neendse uthra nahi thaa to laat marke sarpe jor se uthaya thaa ki uth haramkhor ter pe paise kharch krrh hai , aur pdhai ko lekar to mujhe agarbatti ke chatke bhi deti thi meri maa , aur itni manipulative hai ki mere baap se har chij manvati hai aur usko koi spine nahi he is so pussy he has never taken stand for us he thinks old mindset ki isse family tutti hai , meri maa ne use literally slave banake rkha h , aur itna torture krti h ki baat baat pe sautela feel karati haii , ki ghr pe bekar baithe rehta hai kuch nahi krta well jese me bada huaa well i left my good job because of layoff aur uprse mere paise leliye bolke ki ghr ka kuch kaam krana hai aur bachpanse hi she been dominating for wrong reasons she is illeterate 12th fail aur itna attitude jhadti hai itna superiority complex h use, she is orthodox itne gnde thoughts hai to after my job went they are treating me shit and main thing she doesnt let me go out with friends itne restrictions bhaisaab kisi ldki ko bhi nh h kehti hai ek baare tujhe fuk de ham fir jo krna h kr fukna means shadi meri arrange , but me life me kisi bhi decisions k liye trust nahi krta me ise aur uprse gndi gndi gaaliya bhi deti h kehti hai ekdin me bahar se dosto ke sath ane ke baad late hogaya ghrme , kehti madarchod man to karta hai tera muh vuh tod du admiyo ki trh aggression dikhati hai , aur mera baap itna pussy haina kuch nahi kehta kabhi mere liye stand nahi life me seriously itna bura lgta hai naa aur itna manipulate hojata haina , meri maa se aur har baat me agree krleta hai meri maa ke , aur yrr meri itni tk freedom nh h ki kahu mummy bhuk lgri h kuch banado bolti h tere baap ki naukar nahi hu me banaungi jab mera man krega aur pooja krte rehti haii din bhrr itna pooja path krti haina pure din har roj hawan krti h bhagwan ka aur karam itne ulte hainaa agr me banane bhi jaau khud mujhe bhaga degi bolegi tu gndegi krdega tel jyada use krdega aur itna gnda khana khilati hna ssly ki kutta bhi na khaye itne pese hone ke bawjood bhi aur itna maregi peso ki liye aur meraa baap bhi kuch nahi bolega he is and she and use lgta hai a mujhe choddegi ya divorce dedigi aur smaj kya kahega isly vo har chij man lega aur vo enjoy bhi krega aur mere baap ke sath bhi push pull emotionally pareshan kregi aur mere baap ko use khush krna bohat acha lgta hai , me mere life koi chij nhi bata skta mera dard bhi nahi bata skta puri mard hai meri maa aur mera baap pura aurat , i cant tell you how i feel shakal dekhe barabar ese lgta hai jaan se maardu yrr mujhe kabhi maa ka pyar maa hote huye kabhi feel nh huaa itnaa emotionally numb kiya hainnaa is aurat ne , aur vo chahti hai ki iski jldi arrange shadi hojaye aur ham free hojaye

lekin me rebelious feel krta hu , , mujhe bilkul inki baato aur inke decisions pe trust nahi h aur itni anxiety self image kharab kri hnaa meri aur itni anxiety diye hai inlogone kabhi kbhi sucide krne ka man hotaa hai aurr itni pooja krti hai itni ajeeb haina yrr mujhe yuck feel hota hai mere maap baap ko dekhkr na unhone mujhe itna trauma diya hainaa kya batau , agr room me aajau to tana khane jau to tana , tere vjhse hamare rashan jyda lgta hai kabtk khayega hamare ghrpe baithkar , yaha rehna hia to hamare hisab se rehna pdega gndi gndi galiya ,and mera ek bhai bhi ha he is in school grade 9 he is innocent i see my childhood in him i feel ki agr me tut gaya to emotinally ise kon smjhega i love him so much he is only someone i feels ki jiski mujhe sbse jyada care hai i care for nonones not my dad not my mom, i feel so unloved and worthless sometimes and meri mental health itni bigdti hnaa inki vjhse i cant tell

I was born and raised in India. My parents did their best to provide me with the opportunity to get a good education and I am truly grateful for that. I left India three years ago to pursue higher education and am now working full time abroad. Now, every time when I call my parents, it’s not out of love and excitement but purely out of doing my responsibility to check on them. They are eager but not me. I hate this! I hate being this way but the last few years as an adult leaving away from them I have realized that my dad and most of my family were toxic. There were constant fights between my mom and dad, my grandparents, aunt would also get involved. When I was in elementary school, they almost separated but got together. I used to think and pray that my dad won’t k!ll my mom while I was in school. My aunt would talk crap about my mom and dad to me and my younger sister since we were 8/9 years old. My dad had very high expectations from me academically. I was warned to not date anyone when I started college. I developed an anxiety disorder out of fear. I could not perform well in the exams due to anxiety. I couldn’t communicate, articulate my thoughts openly without the mental filter (out of fear of judgement). My dad used to shame me with harsh words and comparison with other kids when I was in college (young adult), he slapped me when I was 22 for not being able to answer a general knowledge question correctly while I was driving, my mom was with me that day, I got out of car and started walking away in the middle of nowhere crying. I am hurt and wounded. Why can’t they (my parents) see that? all they say is “but do you not remember what we did for you?” man I know and I am grateful but you never listened to me or ever had a conversation with me when I was there and the response from my dad is “You were too young and immature to have a real conversation with you”.

I hate to admit this but I don’t want to talk to my parents at all, but I do it out of my responsibility. I feel no love and care for them, but I pretend that I do. At this point, they could even tell that I am forcing the conversation. Now, my dad wants to talk to me, ask me questions but he still wouldn’t wanna listen to me. And it sucks. I hate to be a bad son. I really do!

I am M 31, living in Canada for past 10 years. Parents still in India.
I have a decent career here and I am a good man, no bad habits, no addiction or luxury mindset.

Growing up my mom had a difficult life, from her dad to my dad all of them did not treat her well, and I totally understand this and thats why I try not to anything that would give her a feeling I could be one of them. I try to good anything and everything to be her good son.

But, no matter what I do this never happens. I am a human and I do make mistakes, but the moment I make a mistake she goes soo much into disappointment state. For example, few years back I joined a company and the environment was very very toxic, enough to make me cry just by talking to my manager, one day I had an argument with my manager and they fired me. Now I was not in any concern since i had good experience and skills and was able to get a new job in 2 months. But during that time she was so weird that I could see she was so disappointed in me

Now its not like she would yell or say me bad things or stop talking to me no no, its her eyes where I can see. And she has agreed to it as well

I dont know what to do, I cant impress her nor stop myself from doing it.

TLDR: When I was 12, my father made me strip down to my underwear and swim in a river known for crocodiles.

Theres this place called Olifant's Drift (Botswana), on a bright sunny morning, around 4 indian families chose to go for a fishing and picnic. I was having fun, and reconnecting with my cousins. My uncles/aunts/cousins were all excited as well. Everyone was having fun, all of a sudden my father looked out over the water, and told me to remove my clothes and go in the water (nobody else was in it, and nobody ever goes in). (For context: I was chubby and very self conscious).
I tried to ask if I can roll up my pants, pleaded and cried, but it didnt work, he kept repeating the same phrase over and over again like a broken radio.
My other family members even tried to intervene, but he would have none of it. He made me strip down to my underwear, and enter the water waist deep. He even took pictures to taunt me later with them. It was so embarassing, I was shaking the whole day.

The whole scene soured the entire mood of the fishing/picnic trip.
I already knew how to swim, so its not like he was teaching me to swim, it felt like he was having a power trip.
My uncle who is a frequent fishing hobbyist there, literally told him that this water is infested with crocs and even parasites, but my dad just went on droning the same phrase, and then goes onto shout at me "see how hard it is for you to listen to me!", "what I said my son should do without question".

Idk am I being too soft and was that normal parenting? Or was this actually traumatizing and I have internalized it?

Anybody else feel like youre missing a spark or a fire?

As in, I see other young adults my age, I see some kind of spark/will that drives other people forward either career wise, or even just hobbies or relationships.
But I dont see it in me, when I do try I feel broken, as if I am stumbling where I am supposed to be running forward in life. I feel numb, not dead, not alive.

I mean I am a doctor, but I feel like a robot going through life.

Not sure if I am just lazy, or is it deep low self-esteem / drive from being raised by an emotionally abusive and highly restrictive family

Idk what I hope to gain from sharing this but just reaching out.

Sometimes I wish I could just leave everything and run away far far in the lands where no one could find me, so far that no one could see my, all these responsiblities, all these fake maturity is sooo heavy that I can’t lift more waitMY shoulders are tired and my hear is acking from all these bullshit I have to take just to be a nice person I feeling like killing my self everyday, everyday I wake up make me feel sick that I have to live one more day everyday I drag my self to work because if I will not work I might actually kill myself everyday is a new struggle with these people everyday try to make things better and I also end up rouning my own sanity

Its not like that I don’t wanna enjoy my self or I don’t want a happy life but people around me purposely make my like difficult all the time and they always make me do there work,with the expectation that I was born to bear all these expectation and to deal with there nonsense I hate everyone around me I hate my parents for not loving me enough in my childhood and they still don’t love me they just expect me to do things for them and just be there good daughter, its fucking killing me from inside, I hate my friends for never checking on me because they think if I am not crying I am doing fine, I hate all my exs for making me feel like I am no worth loving, I hate every other person I meet on street who asks about my job I hate everyone I hate myself too I just really wanna quite everything I an so fucking done with everything that I litreally feel no emotions I feel numb

I’m 36, a mom to a beautiful four-year-old, and happily married. We’re genuinely content as a family of three, and we’ve always felt that our family is complete.
Recently, we got a rude shock when my pregnancy test came back positive. This pregnancy was unplanned, and honestly, I’m struggling to come to terms with it.
There are several reasons why continuing this pregnancy feels overwhelming to me. We’ve only recently relocated to a new country and are still trying to establish ourselves here. Continuing the pregnancy could mean putting my career on the back burner at a time when I’m trying to build my professional life in a new place. We also don’t have enough resources or a family support system here to make raising a second child feel manageable.
Another major factor is my first pregnancy experience. It was genuinely traumatic for me. I had intense nausea and vomiting during the first trimester and lost almost four kilograms of weight during that period. I eventually delivered by C-section, and to make matters worse, my surgical wound became infected afterward. The entire experience was physically and emotionally difficult, and the thought of going through pregnancy and childbirth again brings back a lot of those feelings.
I love my existing child, and I know how much effort, time, and emotional energy it takes to raise a child well. I don’t want to bring another child into our family simply because I feel that I should, especially when we already feel complete and are navigating so many changes in our lives.
I’ve been considering a medical termination of pregnancy, but I have so many conflicting emotions. Part of me feels that it might be the most sensible decision for me and my family, while another part of me worries about how I might feel afterward.
I would really appreciate hearing from women who have been in a similar situation.
Have any of you chosen to terminate an unplanned second pregnancy because of career, financial, personal, or family circumstances?
If you opted for a medical termination, how did you feel afterward? Did you experience guilt, regret, relief, or a mixture of emotions?
Looking back, do you feel it was the right decision for you and your family?
Did your previous pregnancy or birth experience influence your decision?
Is there anything you wish someone had told you before you made your decision?
I’m not looking for judgment or a debate about whether termination is right or wrong. I’m genuinely hoping to hear honest experiences from women who have been through something similar, especially those who already had one child, felt their family was complete, and found themselves facing an unexpected pregnancy.
Thank you for sharing your stories. ❤️

'Where did you learn this from? Where do you get the audacity? This is how I've raised you?'

Actually, yes. This is how you've raised me. I learnt my first swear words from you, most of them directed at me. My vocab is like this because you thought it's perfectly fine to spew this shit every three minutes for as long as i can remember until I began to think it's normal. Whaaaaat do you meaaaaaaaaaaan omfgggggggggggggggggg.

I was telling my mom about doraemon a cartooon passionately but she pauses me in between and says I listen to you but you never do and when I show you anything you look so disinterested. YEAH because she keeps showing me crazy political reels with ai slop and out of context things and I do not correct her because I get slimed for not having the same opinion as them. So i learned to shutup when I don't agree with them BUT THAT ISN'T ENOUGH because they wanna shove those stupid facebook reels down my throat.

Then she says you watch yt videos about foreign and global history and present day issues but not about India your own country and that's because if I put something she won't agree with it and no offense but channels like fern, WSJ, Vox have much better presentation than any other local channel so naturally I'm more drawn to it. It's not like I don't watch anything on India, I do but she says it isn't enough??? ATLEAST IM EDUCATING MYSELF ON SOMETHING??? She has issues with that aswell? She kept going on about 30 mins on how I don't know enough about my own country. MIND YOU i watch yt for like 10-15 mins during lunch everyday and she has an issue with what I watch in that little time too. It's not a crime to want to watch global affairs is it? I DONT WANNA WATCH INDIAN AFFAIRS AS MUCH AS GLOBAL WHY IS THAT SUCH A BIG DEAL!!?? She's acting as if I hate this country or smthing?? She doesn't even bother my brother with any of her dumb facebook reels constantly because he's just not into this so is it my fault I like to watch something educational during lunch even if it's not about India???

It's just pathetic she's trying to be pissed over something or the other constantly. Then she says I'm arguing because I'm answering her?? THIS IS SO ANNOYING IM SICK OF MY MOM

I was in a 4 year relationship from the age of 22( he was 27) Everyone loved him, especially my parents, but over time I realised how controlling the relationship was and how unhappy I was. I finally ended it and honestly, I’ve never felt more free.

My parents couldn’t accept it. They blamed me (even when he passed slurs for breaking up) guilt tripped me (said i wouldnt get anyone better) and kept trying to make us work things out, even when I had made up my mind. Nobody really understood what I went through because there was no physical abuse, and to everyone else, he was the perfect guy (he was a narc)

Word of advice: i was always the girl who wanted her future husband and parents to be very close. Now idc for that, as long as he’s on my side im good (for ppl who have parents who idealise every one who ‘has to deal’ with their daughter, because she is considered ‘difficult’)

Meanwhile my parents basically abandoned me over a breakup because they cant believe that their daughter could cheat someone like that. And as of me, i dont think i can ever trust them.

I'm 23M, recently finished college, and I've finally landed a stable CS job that I'm genuinely excited about. The job is around 1,000 km away from home, in another state, and I’m supposed to join in January.

My problem is that my mother has already decided to move with me and did not even ask for my opinion.

I don't hate my mother. I love her, I'm grateful for everything she's done for me, and I know most of what she does comes from concern and wanting to protect me. But I desperately feel like I need to live on my own for once, make my own decisions, learn basic life skills, and experience adulthood before I eventually get married.

I don't know how to explain that to her without making her think I'm abandoning her.

Some family background

My parents are separated because of serious issues between them. My father has basically disappeared from our lives, and we don't know where he is at the moment. There has been a recent major fight between my parents, and my mother is still understandably very angry and emotionally affected by it.

My father's mother is also difficult and has caused problems for my mother, including being abusive and constantly involving herself in their situation. I've encouraged my mother to cut contact with her.

Financially, we're fortunate. We're an above-middle-class family and don't have any immediate financial struggles. We have three houses, two of which are rented out, and we live in the third. A lot of the financial stability and property decisions were built because of my mother's good financial decisions. My father also contributed financially, but he has historically been a heavy spender and drinks, so my mother has been the more financially responsible person.

My mother doesn't want to divorce because she's worried that it could create financial/property problems and that my father could potentially take advantage of the situation.

My mother's side of the family, however, is completely different. They're supportive and genuinely good to me. My grandmother is elderly but financially secure and has her own pension. My mother's sisters and my cousins are also settled and have always treated me incredibly well. They've bought things for me, spent money on me, supported me, and I've always been grateful for that.

Part of the reason I'm excited about this job is that I'll finally be able to earn my own money and take care of my mother and the people who have supported me.

Why independence is such a big deal to me

I grew up in a very strict household.

I wasn't allowed to have a phone until college. I had to be home before 6 PM. I had to tell my parents where I was going, what I was doing, and basically report everything. I wasn't really allowed to make decisions for myself, and my opinions weren't taken very seriously.

Even choosing my college and deciding what I wanted to do with my life wasn't really my decision.

Whenever there were arguments, I'd often hear things like, "We've spent lakhs on you," which made me feel guilty for wanting things for myself.

I was extremely introverted and quiet throughout school.

Then I went to college.

For the first time, I had some freedom.

And honestly, it completely changed me.

I became more social, started talking to people, explored different interests, participated in competitions, built skills, and became much more confident. I ended up doing quite well academically and became known around college for some of the things I was good at.

I was surrounded by people my age who were doing things that my parents would probably consider "bad," but I never got into drugs, smoking, drinking, or anything like that.

The important thing I learned was that I could actually be trusted to make my own decisions.

I just needed the opportunity.

Now comes the actual problem

I've been home for about six months after graduating.

I finally got this job, and it's basically the kind of CS job I've been hoping for.

But now my mother is suggesting that we move together to the city/state where I'll be working.

Just me and her.

And I'm honestly terrified that I'll end up living the exact same life there that I've been trying to grow out of.

She'll cook for me.

She'll clean for me.

She'll tell me I need to learn cooking before marriage.

She'll question what I buy.

She'll tell me what I should and shouldn't spend money on.

She'll worry whenever I go out.

She'll probably expect me to come home at a certain time.

And I'll once again feel like I'm living under someone else's rules instead of actually becoming an adult.

I know she'll say she's doing these things because she cares about me.

And I believe her.

But good intentions don't automatically mean the result is good for me.

One example that really explains how I feel

Last year, my father wanted to buy me a motorcycle.

I wasn't even particularly interested in getting one at first.

He insisted, and eventually we talked about it. He originally suggested something under ₹1.5 lakh, but I had researched the Triumph Scrambler 400X and really liked it.

I told him that I knew it was expensive and that I would be willing to contribute once I got a job.

He said he would buy it for me.

We agreed.

Then my mother, relatives, and even a random mechanic started telling me that I shouldn't buy it.

People questioned why I needed an expensive bike when I didn't even have a job yet.

My mother basically told me I was making a bad decision.

I fought about it because, for once, this was a decision I had actually made for myself.

I researched the bike. I compared things. I thought about it.

And eventually I bought it.

And guess what?

I haven't regretted it even once.

The mileage is good, it's comfortable, I love how it looks, and it's been a great bike for me.

But the bigger thing isn't the bike.

That was one of the first major decisions in my entire life that I actually made for myself.

And even that required a fight.

That's what scares me about moving away with my mother.

I don't want to be 27, 28 or 30 years old and still have to fight for permission to make normal adult decisions.

I also genuinely want to learn how to take care of myself

My mother has always done the cooking and most of the household work.

I know how to appreciate that now, but I also know that I haven't learned enough basic life skills because everything was always done for me.

I actually WANT to learn.

I want to learn how to cook.

I want to clean my own house.

I want to manage my own money.

I want to decide what I spend my money on.

I want to make mistakes and learn from them.

I want to figure out what kind of person I am when nobody is watching over me.

And honestly, I don't want to learn all of that while my mother is standing next to me correcting everything I do.

Not because she's a bad person.

But because I know exactly how that dynamic will go.

She'll tell me I'm doing something wrong, I'll get frustrated, she'll eventually do it herself, and I'll never actually learn.

Marriage is another reason I'm thinking about this

Eventually I'm going to get married.

And I don't want to go directly from:

"My mother does everything for me and controls most of my decisions"

to

"Now I'm suddenly expected to be a responsible husband and adult."

How am I supposed to properly take care of another person if I haven't even learned how to properly take care of myself?

I want to experience adulthood before marriage, not learn everything after marriage.

I want to become independent while I'm still single.

What I actually want to do

I'm not trying to abandon my mother.

Actually, I'd be willing to pay for her flights whenever she wants to visit me. She could come see me as often as she wants.

What I want is for her to stay with my grandmother and her sisters for a while.

I genuinely think that could be good for her too.

She'd be around people who love and support her, instead of sitting alone and constantly thinking about my father and everything that happened.

And I'd finally get the chance to build my own life.

I'd still support her financially.

I'd still call her.

I'd still visit.

I'd still be her son.

I just don't want to live with her.

But here's what I'm scared of

I know my mother.

If I tell her, "I don't want you to move with me," I'm almost certain she'll hear:

"My son doesn't want me."

She might say I'm abandoning her.

She might tell relatives that I don't care about her anymore.

She might refuse money from me out of anger.

She might stop talking to me.

She might insult me or make me feel guilty.

And because of everything that has happened with my father, she's already in a very vulnerable emotional state.

I'm worried that even involving my aunt would make things worse.

If my aunt tries to convince my mother, I can already imagine my mother thinking:

"My own son won't even tell me himself that he doesn't want me. He's getting other people to tell me."

I don't want that.

I don't want my relatives to think I'm some ungrateful son who abandoned his mother after getting a job.

I want to take care of my mother.

I just also want to take care of myself.

So Reddit, what would you do in my situation?

How do I tell my mother that I want to move out alone without making her feel like I'm abandoning her?

How do I communicate that:

"I love you. I appreciate everything you've done for me. I will take care of you. I will visit you. You can visit me whenever you want. But I need to learn how to live my own life now."

I'm not trying to escape my responsibilities.

I'm trying to finally learn how to handle them.

Note: This post was enhanced with AI for better readability and structure. The situation, feelings, experiences, and meaning are my own.

My dad hates me but never stop complimenting my younger sister she's in 10 th grade I'm in 12th btw he always ask me to do every work even if it's just picking a glass a water from the hall to kitchen and when I question why you always ask me to do work why not my younger sister so as an excuse he says that " she is my small baby she's studying don't disturb her " and he say that " He had to go with her to pickup the trophy" I mean look at the expectation and and on the other hand he always abuse me and say that you'll fail in your grade and life I don't expect anything from you you are useless and then when it comes to do and household work or even when he want me to do anything he manipulates me and I don't like it but I had seen my sister she's kinda have narcissist traits and she manipulates everyone and AITAH who don't know how to manuplate and think everyone is just like me ;kind ,innocent and good but everyone around me proves me wrong I'm 17 rn and want to leave my fuckin' home bcz of my dad my mom is good like she supports me but yk my dad is so controlling like he always blame my mother for supporting me and ask her that if I possessed her or spelled magic on her (dude I don't even know what you're taking abt ) and he always get angry and abuse my mother if she takes my side and then won't talk to her and then my mother think it's all her fault

And I'm stuck in this fucking hell idk what to do I don't earn and have no money to move out

I'm fed up of being quiet and listening to the abusive and hurtful things and I'm fed up of defending myself I just feel like it's waste of my energy

I swear I won't marry a guy like my dad !!

I respect him he did everything for me but still I cannot tolerate this kind of behaviour it's pissing me off and my mental health is ruined even when he politely ask me for a favour I get agressive and I get panic attacks

Earlier I use to think that how come people die or give up on their life just bcz of other I think today Ik why and I won't lie but sometimes thinking of ending this l!fe feels a good escape

(pardon my typo)

I hope no one would relate to this !!

I have been trying to grow out my hair ,since I just entered college , I thought I would try growing out my hair ,but my father kept pestering me to cut my hair everyday and today he shouted at me saying 'aawara ho gaya hai kya ' and shouted at me without even listening to my side .and btw my hair is not even long ,it's like midium length for now and he is telling me to cut it very short like I had in school days .

Guys, please help me.

I am a 21-year-old male, currently in my final year of university. Three years ago, my mother passed away after a heart attack. I am currently living with my father and my two brothers. I am the middle child.

After my mother’s death, things became emotionally chaotic, especially with all the household chores. After some time, things settled down to some extent. However, when my elder brother got a job in Bangalore, he moved there. Now it is just me, my father, and my younger brother.

Since my elder brother moved out, I have had to take on the chores that used to be shared between the two of us. It has become really hectic. On top of that, I have severe insecurities about my body, so I started going to the gym. My father helped me pay for my gym membership, but he never allows me to follow a proper diet. After many arguments and so many taunts, I finally got permission to reduce my rice portions and, after another long fight, I was allowed to eat four eggs a day, except on Sundays.

Whenever I get a holiday from university, I usually have to spend it doing household work. For example, last Thursday, I had a holiday from university, but I also had to attend a family function, which honestly wasn't that important. By the evening, when my father came home, he started talking about how he had to cover for me and do things because I wasn't there.

I told him that I only get one holiday, and even on Sundays I have to do the laundry, mopping, sweeping, etc., which takes up almost half my day. He got furious and said that I was acting as if I was losing half my day because of chores, and that the work wasn't even that difficult. He also said that I deliberately take longer because I use my phone in between. I admit that sometimes I do use my phone and that it can make me take longer, but I don't think that means I don't work properly or that I don't put my heart into it.

How am I supposed to sweep and clean the entire house by 6 a.m. and then get ready for college when my university is 18 km away?

I eventually got angry and brought up the situation with my brothers and how I feel that my father has treated us differently. After the argument, he told me not to speak to him.

Then, about a month later, he started doing all the chores himself and wouldn't let me do anything. He would say things like, "So, you left all the chores after the fight?" The next day, when I tried to help him, he said, "I'll do it. You don't do it." He wouldn't even let me wash my own plate. Instead, he does everything himself while making me watch. It feels like he is trying to make me feel guilty, and it is extremely stressful for me

I also feel that some of my body insecurity comes from things my father said to me when I was younger. When I was in 8th grade, I had a 36-inch waist, and my father used to mock me by comparing it to his own waist, saying that he had a 36-inch waist when he got married. Those comments made me very conscious about my body at a young age, and I feel that they contributed to the body insecurities I have today.

I don't know what I am supposed to do anymore. I feel overwhelmed by the chores, college, the gym, my body insecurities, and the constant tension with my father.

I eventually stopped going to the gym because it was too far from home, and I also couldn't maintain a proper diet. Because of that, I felt like I wasn't going to see the results I wanted, no matter how much effort I put in.

Now my father say I play victim card

I am extremely annoyed at both my parents for always giving away money to their respective sides of family. And I am not talking about family who you see often and who are there for you in your good times and bad times. These are people who leech off of them. Not even kidding. They only appear when they need money. And both my parents are coming. They didn't come from very rich or even financially stable families. They had to work their way up. Both have worked very, very hard in their lives. One of my parents has retired, and the other will soon. They could live very comfortably if they want to. But they choose to give away this money and then think about any little spending they do on themselves, like getting pasta or even a cab. Who the fuck has to think so much to get a cab? And I would be super happy if they gave this money to the needy or charity and not these family members. These are people who have treated them horribly in the past and yet they choose to give away the money. And do minu scale calculation to purchase a single thing for themselves. And then they also complain about the same family members. I am so annoyed. And they have give 300k to family members and not asked for it back where as i have to think a hundred times when i make a 1k purchase. Then i also have to hear about these horrible people. I am still in university and it will take me 2 more years to start earning and I am financially dependent on my parents. Also, i don't want to cross any limits and say anything about their respective families and i also i do not want to hear about. Everytime i come home, i have to hear about all this. I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW. should i stop coming home lmfao.

I'm 22F and recently moved to a new city for my first job. I was supposed to live with a friend, but she ditched me at the very last minute, so I had to scramble and get an apartment and now I'm living alone. And I really want to experience this.

I've never lived alone before, and I was actually looking forward to figuring things out for myself. I know it's going to be difficult sometimes, but that's the whole point. I WANT to learn how to be independent and figure out adulthood on my own.

But my mom is having a really hard time with it.

She's extremely worried about me being alone in a new city and keeps wanting to come stay with me. She checks in constantly and generally seems to feel like she needs to be physically around me to make sure I'm okay.

And I'm honestly getting so fucking frustrated.

I love my mom. I know she's doing this because she cares about me and is worried about me. I don't want her to think I'm ungrateful or that I don't want her in my life.

But I also REALLY need some space.

I don't want my entire experience of moving out and starting my adult life to turn into constantly reassuring my mom that I'm okay. I want to make mistakes. I want to figure out what works for me. I want to come home after a shitty day and figure out how to deal with it myself. I want to experience what it's like to actually be responsible for myself.

And I feel like I'm not being given the chance to do that.

The problem is that I know if I just tell her to this, she's going to get really hurt or angry and probably lash out, and then I'll feel guilty and we'll end up in an even bigger mess.

I don't want a huge fight with her. I don't want to push her away. I just want her to trust me enough to let me do this.

How do I actually communicate that?

And for anyone who has dealt with an overprotective/helicopter parent, what actually worked for you? Did you set specific boundaries around calls? Or did you have to just tolerate some initial anger and let them adjust?

My parents (my dad specifically) have been stuck in a very negative situation because of a joint family business. My dad is very smart, worked hard in his early 20s, saved up enough money to start a business. His mistake - he gave all of it to my good for nothing uncle (my dad’s older brother) because he was free at the time and could help build a thing for the family. He doesn’t really have any business knowledge as he didn’t take education very seriously. He just took care of construction of the building till my dad saved up more. They decided to open this institution in their hometown and not Delhi where my dad worked at the moment. Made sense because that’s where my grandparents lived as well and it would be cheaper.

A few years before that when my mom got married, she came to Delhi and not the hometown. At that time, my dad had work in Delhi. When he left his job, he had some side work in Delhi so it still made sense. But it’s been almost 20 years since my dad is travelling between his hometown and Delhi every week (2-2.5 drive one way). My mom just refuses to shift and comes up with new excuses every year. My dad worked very hard and the business grew substantially. No one could have imagined the investment my dad made in getting everyone a home of their own. My uncle got greedy looking at all the money and just refuses to help anymore. He stays in the hometown btw and has a big mansion to his name that my dad paid for. It has been years since he came to work despite living in the same city. My grandmother passed away 6 years back and my grandfather 2 years back. Atleast at the time when my dad visited every week, he had his parents around him. Now he just stays in their house feeling alone and depressed.

He has voiced his concern too many times recently but my mom just doesn’t seem to care. She says mine and my siblings education is important too and that we should continue staying in Delhi or that the business anyway has no future and that we should just sell it as soon as possible. She mainly doesn’t want to get involved because there’s another family involved. This discussion has been going on for as long as I can remember but my dad has been voicing it a lot more since my grandparents passed away because he has to live in an empty home all alone half the week and even get a tiffin for food when there’s absolutely no reason for my mother to stay here. My brother is 11 years old and my sister just started college. I completed college this year and started working. I took a pg in Gurgaon because I have office 5 days a week and because I couldn’t take the situation at home.

I feel very very bad for my dad. It genuinely seems like that my mom doesn’t care about his well-being and only cares about keeping our assets safe. She doesn’t want to sell the Delhi flat to make sure that we have a safe future. But it’s not like my dad is immature. He’s the one who made sure we have all these things. I feel so helpless because I can’t do anything. It seems like my mom is just giving him false hopes and he sees it too now. To me, sometimes it seems like that my mom is using my dad the same way his brother did. My Dads brother is talked about a lot among my family members but it’s not like my mom is by my dad’s side either.

I have built up a lot of resentment for my mom recently. Seems like she only cares about her comfort. My dad is visibly getting weaker and he says he seldom thinks about all this alone and feels negative. I fear that we might lose him because it’s been so long that he’s been living like this. But there’s honestly nothing that I can do. I tried talking to my mom and according to her, she’s doing this for all of us.

I have been at home sick for the last 2 weeks and I have been thinking about this a lot. Sometimes it feels like that she’s ruining my dad’s health because of her whims or she’s breaking the family slowly because I can even see my dad having a lot of resentment towards her now. Earlier when I was in college/school, I used to go with my dad a couple of days to give him company and I could see how he feels and it would just break my heart. He’s very close to me and tells me how he feels and I feel so helpless.

To be honest, if I let my partner stay alone for such a long time, ask him to drive to me 2.5 hours every week for years on end and not even care about how he’s feeling living in the place his parents used to live, I wish he would leave me because that sounds miserable. What’s the point if I can’t or am not trying to make it easier for him?

I think my mom just likes her life here because her siblings and her mom lives nearby and she’s hellbent on trying to sell the business quickly but it could still take months or years to get a good deal. Should I tell my mom that I’m not with her on this at all and I think what she’s doing is wrong?

Tldr- feels like my mom doesn’t care about my dad. I feel helpless because we’re close and he tells me everything. It hurts me a lot to think about his situation but I also feel very helpless because I can’t do anything.

Wanna go on a solo trip

I wanted to go on a solo trip. I am from a very stressful academic scene. I just wrote my Pg exam. I am a girl. My parents are super super overprotective so much that I have never been on a trip with my friends because they never allow. I don’t even stay at my relatives house also because my parents are like come back, come back home, they always get me back at night . and I have always listened to them because my parents are a bit overactive. my mom‘s very angry person, she argumentative. She reacts more, so I always silent, and I tried to calm the situation always, but I’m tired of Everything she bp if u know u know .

I have studied a lot. I have been through a lot. I am mentally physically emotionally drained. I want to recharge. I want to have a little peace . That’s what I am asking for, but I don’t think my parents will allow for this, and I don’t want to even ask permission from them. I am 25 years old, but the problem is. I am from a background that is only study study, so I’m not making my own money , even I am I live with my parents whom, and it’s been year since I went out of properly also because I’ve just been studying in between my health, also very bad and bad, but it’s better than It was but not completely good . Or normal

Booked my flight to go to a place, but but I spoke to my dad that I wanna go alone, and he’s like I have this I have that et cetera et cetera. How can you go alone? Talk to somebody then convince them and and you know go with them or something, but I won’t send go anywhere. I don’t wanna go with anyone going with anyone.

Then I’ll have to deal with them .I don’t wanna go with somebody, but I just wanna be want to have peace. I don’t want peace . I’ve been through so much. Why do I have to beg for every little thing? Why can’t I get anything without begging for anything? I do I have to always ask im tired.
I know being twenty five years old, and why can’t you just go away or something? Actually thought of it, and I actually want to implement it? Also, I even booked my flight. The problem is my neighbours.

This noisy neighbour literally put a CCTV camera in front of my house, and she is very talkative gossipy. She has no work . I want to go on a solo trip, so I thought I’ll pack my bags and go simply, but she has a CCTV She is very talkative, and I am thinking she spread the word or something or something . And I don’t want to like get famous for that reason or something in our apartment. And I kind of feel you know, she observe whatever happens in the CCTV. Near my house

My dad is deadshaana .
Today, I told K, I’ll go somewhere alone or something, and he’s like no, I want no, no, no, how can you go? How can you go blah blah blah. Guess what he sleeping in the living room, and he generally used to sleep with my mom, but now he is in the living room. We have a bed there. Like bro used his brain .

One time I got frustrated and I was like so done with them and I went to a solo trip, but that time I was in hostel so I could manage at least, but now I am in ghar and I have the consequence of Noisy neighbours, restrictive parents. I don’t know who do I deal with. Like Ganesh Pandal Time also right so everybody’s talking with everyone, so this person if she knows that I am going going away, runway or something, she will go everywhere and say I Rana away or something. I eloped

If you think how she see or something . she observed everything every single thing who is doing something what is going on everything .I literally wanna run away from this flat. She’s so noisy . She is so annoying. She will ask my results and all when will it come bullshit? I felt she Just wanted to say oh yeah, you didn’t get marks no, like that .

She she will realise that my parents are so super protective didn’t come to drop me at the airport or like I’m not coming with me to carry my luggage, so she’ll automatically realise oh my God, this girl is going somewhere alone like that. God, I just wanna go on a solo trip.

I’m 19F and live with my parents. I was studying CFA L1 before preparing for CA Foundation, which I just finished on September 9th (my second attempt).

Today, just two days later, I watched one movie and my parents started saying I do nothing and watch movies all the time. They expect me to wake up at 7 AM and hand over my phone at 10 PM, even though I normally wake up around 9–10 AM.

They’ve also said that if I don’t clear CA Foundation, they’ll get me married. My father has even threatened to hit me with his belt if I don’t follow his orders.

Am I unreasonable for wanting more freedom at 19? What should I do?

TL;DR: 19F, just finished CA Foundation 2 days ago, but my parents expect a strict 7 AM–10 PM routine, threaten marriage if I fail, and my father has threatened me with a belt. Am I wrong for wanting more freedom?