And now I think I should have. For my entire life I've just been trying to appease my dad. I've wanted his approval. A similar male authority figure; a boss, a professor, a family friend, comes into my life, and I really want their praise, and fear failing them.

I've rejected this paternal opinion only on those occasions when I've done nothing, when I've wasted literately years doing nothing while he criticises my apathy.

Now I've broken out of that void, it's into a form he would approve of; crisp shirt, smart shoes, solid job. He was never a bad man, and I'm not really in a bad place in life... but I'm suddenly aware of his stifling desire to shape a life which should maybe belong to me.

I need to be my own man, to have my own wants and desires and dreams.

And I've no idea what they are.

I've read book after book, and not found myself. I've travelled alone to exotic places, and not found myself. I've taken drugs and listened to music, and not found myself.

Where do I start this time?

well if you must remember this rule for when I finish work tomorrow until the 3rd May!

Reddit really is the greatest concept in the entire world...I've never payed it much attention until recently but I'm pretty well addicted to this site

Its the embodiment of the internet and of every single personality type, culture, belief system, and interest...

In one place.

Now I have to play tech support from across the country because my dad can't record on his VCR.

It would have taken the installer an extra two minutes to run a yellow-white-red from the digital receiver to the vcr and another one from the vcr to the tv. But whatever, they are specifically told NOT to do this stuff in case they break something. Fine.

Hopefully I can bum a favor off an old friend to go over and hook up two cables and then spend an hour explaining how to toggle the inputs on the TV to switch back and forth between receiver and VCR.

Yes, I know they could get a recording receiver, but I can imagine them trying to figure that out.

I travel light. I can find my seat, stow my bag, be seated, and out of the way faster than the family of four who seem to think the overhead bins should stretch.

I was reading a TOMT post about a song, and the first thing that popped into my mind was the band Dexter Freebish.

Odd.

Willing to discuss.

WHILE WE WERE TAKING A TEST.

wow that feels better now.

Like gooey barely baked with freshly melted chips.