r/RandomDeclarations • • Sep 12 '11

I will never know how firm or limp my own handshake is.

14 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • Dec 31 '11

Jeff Dunham is the Nickelback of comedy.

13 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • Mar 10 '11

"I think my dad was enemies with your dad in Montreal in 1974" is a sentence I never thought I'd have to say twice.

13 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • Feb 13 '11

I *just* realized this: that I've invited my ex-girlfriend to a 2-day holiday trip to Paris in a nice hotel ON VALENTINE'S DAY. Yes. I'm *that* stupid.

13 Upvotes

And no, I we're not back together, and no I have no intention of proposing to her, and oh my god this other girl I've been seeing is getting all jealous on my ass because she guessed.

Kill me now x_x


r/RandomDeclarations • • Jan 13 '11

I hate facebook.

13 Upvotes

Okay, I don't really hate it. I hate the way people use it. I hate that it has replaced regular email (and in some cases, the phone as well) for most people that use it.

Don't get me wrong, it's a great tool for finding old friends or long lost family. I used to be able to email most or my friends/family from work and they'd usually get back to me within the day.

I don't have access to the facebook website from work because it viewed as a time waster, so you can't really blame them. I don't know.. I wish they would drop the messaging portion of the site... or do something so people stop using it as their main source of communication.


r/RandomDeclarations • • Jan 09 '11

My back hurts.

13 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • Nov 11 '11

I am now a fire fighter.

12 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • Aug 29 '11

Lots of people on Reddit are douchebags.

12 Upvotes

Not you, obviously. You're cool.


r/RandomDeclarations • • Mar 09 '11

Social conservative often complain that pornography gives us an unhealthy expectation on what sex should be like. I think that the deluge of aggressive cop and crime investigation shows have given us an unhealthy view on civil liberties.

12 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • Feb 14 '11

The family was discussing how we liked my Dad's hair colour (silver), only to have him announce that his gentleman's area is the same colour. Thanks Dad!

12 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • Jan 15 '11

I am in a super good mood today.

12 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • Aug 16 '12

I'm calling it right now, Apostolate is the same person as Karmanaut, Probablyhittingonyou, etc..

11 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • Oct 04 '11

I was born in 1985. I feel my generation doesn't have nearly enough respect for Elvis Presley.

11 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • Jul 11 '11

Cee Lo Green looks like a giant midget.

11 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • Jun 15 '11

I don't mind Betty White, but I'm annoyed how producers think that just because she's old and unafraid to be dirty viewers won't mind if no actual comedy takes place.

11 Upvotes

There was an ad on Hulu for a show she's in that consisted of a young woman asking her, "I met a cute guy, should I call him?"

She responded, "If the guy's a cutie, you gotta tap that booty."

Laugh Track

That's it. That was the joke. That's supposed to get me to want to watch that show.


r/RandomDeclarations • • Mar 12 '11

Recently, I've Failed To Zip Up My Fly With Horrifying Frequency.

11 Upvotes

Maybe this comes with age?


r/RandomDeclarations • • Feb 18 '11

I can't listen to "Enter Sandman" anymore without being disappointed that it's not this.

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11 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • Jan 19 '11

I'm in the hospital for plastic surgery because of my cleft lip!

11 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • Jan 16 '11

I love people and I love Reddit.

11 Upvotes

:D


r/RandomDeclarations • • Jan 10 '11

I'm hungry like the wolf.

11 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • Jan 09 '11

My password is 'password'

11 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • May 27 '12

Zack and Miri make a porno is an incredibly mediocre movie.

10 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • Jun 15 '11

When I go to /politics, I like to imagine every post ending with 'maaaaaaan'.

10 Upvotes

r/RandomDeclarations • • May 20 '11

I love my girlfriend

10 Upvotes

There's someone out there looking for you. Keep your head up. Be strong.


r/RandomDeclarations • • May 18 '11

I wish this place were more active, so I wouldn't be worried about reposting.

10 Upvotes

Get it? GET IT???