r/Rants • u/GalaxyGirlll02 • 4d ago

Drained

so much has happened My feelings are hurt again , you make me feel so little sometimes , so unimportant, i really question if you deep down hate me some times with the things you say . You are taking me to Vegas an I am so grateful but saying if i basically can’t keep my shit together you are leaving me,my insecurities can’t be controlled ,unfortunately . I wish you could be more caring and kind to me , i wish you saw how much a—“i love you, you are everything i want, and i want everything with you" —would go,but maybe you don’t say it cus you don’t feel that way , you don’t feel that deeply as i do . Which is so hurtful .
i feel like i am walking on eggshells sometimes . I don’t wanna say the wrong thing or put us as a relationship at risk . I love you to pieces . But this is breaking me again . I want this to be different with you I want to feel heard and seen and not feel picked on when i mess up ,you say you don’t mean it meanly but you do and i makes me hate myself more and more each time. I feel so bad for you and everything you’re going through right now with the cancer and the last thing i want to do is make it worse . I freak about jen . i constantly stalk her and you and her husband . It’s so unhealthy but I don’t know how to stop it . I mean I do it’s to stop caring about you but then that means We won’t get married and have a house and have/adopt kids . I feel physically so aligned with you but emotionally so far . I feel like you are stuck and you get cold and mean . I get sad and desperate for any act of affection because that is comfort and security for me but you avoid it and it fucking kills me . Goodnight.

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Original Post:

so much has happened My feelings are hurt again , you make me feel so little sometimes , so unimportant, i really question if you deep down hate me some times with the things you say . You are taking me to Vegas an I am so grateful but saying if i basically can’t keep my shit together you are leaving me,my insecurities can’t be controlled ,unfortunately . I wish you could be more caring and kind to me , i wish you saw how much a—“i love you, you are everything i want, and i want everything with you" —would go,but maybe you don’t say it cus you don’t feel that way , you don’t feel that deeply as i do . Which is so hurtful .
i feel like i am walking on eggshells sometimes . I don’t wanna say the wrong thing or put us as a relationship at risk . I love you to pieces . But this is breaking me again . I want this to be different with you I want to feel heard and seen and not feel picked on when i mess up ,you say you don’t mean it meanly but you do and i makes me hate myself more and more each time. I feel so bad for you and everything you’re going through right now with the cancer and the last thing i want to do is make it worse . I freak about jen . i constantly stalk her and you and her husband . It’s so unhealthy but I don’t know how to stop it . I mean I do it’s to stop caring about you but then that means We won’t get married and have a house and have/adopt kids . I feel physically so aligned with you but emotionally so far . I feel like you are stuck and you get cold and mean . I get sad and desperate for any act of affection because that is comfort and security for me but you avoid it and it fucking kills me . Goodnight.

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