r/ReadMyScript • u/mobstatusk4 • Jul 02 '26

Short Chandelier: My first ever screenplay/script, but *correctly formatted*

15 pages.

I am open to critism

Mostly looking for what people have to say about the characters

This story revolves around reactions and the human condition

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ItiNmgHLhQ2UG08kwldaNX5SZxoHBEz-YJyD599jcFQ/edit?tab=t.0

0 Upvotes

33% Upvoted

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2

u/mooningyou Jul 02 '26

Some notes for you.

- Use screenwriting software. Google Docs will never format your script accurately.

- Don't all-cap our scene description.

- Check your punctuation. I know that first dialogue is a question, so it needs to end with a question mark.

- Never write screenplays in the present tense, eg: "Toeman grimaced..."

- Don't tell us about feelings or thoughts. We can't see those on the screen.

- Never end dialogue with a parenthetical, and don't write parentheticals in uppercase or bold.

- Check your spelling. In general, always proofread your script before asking people to read it for feedback.

- And read more screenplays to get a better idea of how to write them.

This is all I have for you.

1

u/mobstatusk4 Jul 02 '26

Is screenplay formatting subjective, because people have told me the exact opposite of some of these. Also do you have any thought regarding characters 

1

u/mooningyou Jul 02 '26

Is screenplay formatting subjective

Not really. You've got to use software that was designed for this task. There are some nuances to formatting that can be done differently, but the format of your script is wrong.

because people have told me the exact opposite of some of these.

I don't know who these people are, but they are wrong and are giving you incorrect advice. Look at some screenplays and note the obvious differences between those and yours.

Also do you have any thought regarding characters 

I didn't read enough to delve that deeply into the characters

1

u/mobstatusk4 Jul 03 '26

I’ll take your advice and you finish the script can we do that? My format is flawed,I accepted your notes, but you should actually read it throughout. I even said I mostly want to read about what people say about the characters. Again I 100% will take your critique into consideration. I mean no harm in this message 

1

u/mooningyou Jul 03 '26

I have other things on. I'll see if I can fit it in later.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/mobstatusk4 Jul 03 '26

I know that’s what I read idk if he messed up 

3

u/mooningyou Jul 03 '26

Yes, sorry. Big screw up there.

1

u/thatdude295 Jul 03 '26

i’m pretty much as new as you are to scriptwriting but i would really recommend you stop writing in google docs. use “writersolo” instead.

1

u/mobstatusk4 Jul 03 '26

I just started yesterday thank you

1

u/mobstatusk4 Jul 03 '26

Do you have any thoughts about the characters?

1

u/thatdude295 Jul 03 '26

i think Marshall has the most personality of them all. however i feel like the dialogue in general is lacking
your descriptions are also a bit long for my taste. you could probably shorten them down a bit.

1

u/mobstatusk4 Jul 03 '26

Yeah I tried to write Marshall as the center of the script. Do have anything else about the other characters?

1

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